We’re taking July off of The Bare Marriage Podcast, so I have some other podcasts to share with you today!
Even though I’m not recording my own (I just need a bit of a rest!), I’ve been doing non-stop interviews on other people’s podcasts since January.
So I thought every Thursday in July I’d share a few of them with you!
1. The New Evangelicals
So many of the podcasts that invite me on are talking about getting back to the essentials of faith and finding Jesus again after being burned by the church. That’s the story of The New Evangelicals podcast and Instagram account.
This was a wide-ranging discussion where I told the story of the blog and the book, as wel as some of our big findings, and Tim and I had a great discussion. He also at one point called Kristin Du Mez (author of Jesus and John Wayne) and Beth Allison Barr (author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood) and me the trinity taking down these lies, and I loved that because Beth and Kristin and I are hoping to do a big webinar in August where we interview each other!
Keith and I listened to this podcast yesterday on a long drive and quite enjoyed it, and I hope you will too.
Or watch on YouTube!
2. Holy Heretics: Rethinking Christian Sex Advice
The Holy Heretics Podcast, put out by the Sophia Society, is all about how to deconstruct your faith without losing it. I really appreciated this discussion as well.
The Great Sex Rescue
Changing the conversation about sex & marriage in the evangelical church.
What if you’re NOT the problem with your sex life?
What if the things that you’ve been taught have messed things up–and what if there’s a way to escape these messages?
Welcome to the Great Sex Rescue.
3. Gravity Leadership Podcast: Exposing the Lies We Believe about Sex
Gravity Leadership is all about talking about the things affecting the evangelical community today and how they relate to those in leadership, especially in the workplace. They were doing a series on how women are treated, and asked me to join that series.
BONUS: Bare Marriage & Feeling Spiritually Homeless
I like to share one of my own podcasts too that you may all have missed. So many people have told us how much this podcast meant to them. It’s from last December, and it was one of our top 10 podcasts from 2020. But I thought some of you may appreciate our conversation, because it fits in with this idea of desperately wanting a new experience of faith where it’s based on everyone being focused on Jesus, rather than on power.
It seems to be a lot of “new evangelical” type podcasts that keep inviting me on.
That’s wonderful! I love doing them.
I’ve recorded over 120 podcasts I think so far, but I hope that more mainstream ones will start to talk about this stuff, too. We need to change the conversation across the evangelical world, and it should not be controversial to simply say that sex should be intimate, mutual, and pleasurable for both, and that women are not responsible for men’s sin. This is common sense. This is biblical.
The book is selling incredibly well (thank you all! Keep talking about it!) and it’s resonating with people. So I hope that more mainstream podcasts will be open to talking about this soon. There have been some–and I’ll focus on those ones next week! But let’s keep them coming, because this is a conversation we ignore at our peril.
And let me know–do you have a recent podcast you’ve really enjoyed? Which one should I feature next week?
Sheila and team, I’ve listened to you on the Holy Heretics podcast which inspired me to subscribe to their YouTube channel. I loved your podcast about Churchianity vs. Christianity. I cannot wait to listen to the New Evangelicals podcast with you, Kristin Du Mez, and Beth Allison Barr.
During these last few months, I have been going through a deconstruction phase because I am unhappy at how unChristian mainstream American Christianity has become. January 6 of this year was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me and I am appalled at how much American politics has mixed with the church which I will not go into detail about.
After reading the books by “the trinity taking down these lies,” I’ve come to realize that God is NOT the problem, it’s the man-made doctrines like the hierarchy of marriage (which has been created through other doctrines like Eternal Son Subordination, first-order-man was created before woman, so he should be in charge, and the trinity model), Christian nationalism (I don’t know how this is in other countries like Canada, the UK, or Australia), etc. When Christians become so focused on following rules, we forget that we must follow God first. The reason He sent His Son Jesus to die for us was so that He could fulfill the Law that no human could ever follow perfectly.
It’s time to focus on Jesus first and get out of legalism!
I cannot wait to listen to more Bare Marriage podcasts.
I, too, am embarrassed that anything January 6 was associated with Christianity…
Thank you! I am thrilled the book is selling so well. I love hearing you on all these other podcasts, it helps me discover more voices and I’ve subscribed to many of them that have had you on. I would love a comprehensive list of all the podcasts you’ve been on since your first L&R post.
I will try! There are so many. And thank you for your comment on Patreon! It’s up on today’s post.
From reading this article and others written by you, I thought of the Christian movie “Fireproof” which is about a couple who is going to get divorced because of the husband’s porn use. At no point in the movie is it implied that his choice to use porn is her fault or that she shares any blame in it. It is rightly portrayed as only the husband’s problem. I am so glad to see that the directors are right on with this issue!
Even though it’s been years since I saw “Fireproof,” I do remember that the wife was never blamed for him porn use. Thank goodness for that! Remember “The Love Dare” books came out around the time of this movie? Since I’m not married and these books applied to couples, I put the dare to good use in my other relationships. Recently, I discovered “The Respect Dare” by Nina Roesner (https://www.amazon.com/Respect-Dare-Deeper-Connection-Husband/dp/140020447X) which I do not recommend. It’s very chauvinistic and the author’s philosophy is along the same lines as Eggerich’s Love and Respect book. Check out her blog and read the book reviews on Amazon and you will know what I mean.
Back to “Fireproof,” the main character (Kirk Cameron) found that the best way for him to kick his porn addiction to the curb was to break his computer. I don’t know if that’s the answer. I’d like to hear from other posters what you all think of this.
I’m glad they didn’t blame the wife, but… https://www.patheos.com/blogs/sarahoverthemoon/2013/11/what-love-and-respect-fireproof-abuse/
Anonymous305,
Thank you for pointing me to this blog post. I think I will need to rewatch “Fireproof” in the very near future. Maybe I’ll have a different viewpoint. It has been at least 10 years (?) since I’ve seen this movie and even though I have always had my suspicions about the hierarchy in marriage doctrine, I think I’ll have a clearer mind about this. Just because books, movies, and other forms of entertainment are marketed as “Christian” does not make them so.
I admit that when I first saw this movie, I cringed at the scene where Kirk Cameron’s character has his wife up against the wall and he’s screaming at her. It kind of reminded me of my marriage with my ex, who also happened to have a porn addiction. He blamed his addiction on me.
I remember when I watched it feeling uneasy but not really knowing why. I think if I were to rewatch it I’d see some big issues. The big thing that I do remember is that it felt too much like a formula, and it wasn’t really addressing reality.
They had–guy uses porn; wife leaves him; guy repents and tries to fix the relationship by choosing to love her anyway.
Hey, if that happened, we wouldn’t have marriage problems!
What usually happens is: guy uses porn; wife tries to fix it and love him no matter what; guy doesn’t stop using porn.
Like HE’S the one sinning, but SHE’S the one acting all “love dare”. The idea of the “love dare” works if you’re the one in the wrong. It doesn’t work if you’re the one being wronged. But it was mainly women who were being wronged who ate this up. And that’s the problem, as far as I can see it.
I’ve recently discovered the New Evangelicals and I can’t get enough. Follow this awesome guy on Instagram for some amazing and thought-provoking quotes that will buzz around your head for days. Also, I highly recommend his interview with a Palestinian Christian.
What’s truly interesting about the movie Fireproof is that the wife in the movie (named Catherine) actually engaged in an emotional affair with a doctor in the hospital that she worked at. Her affair partner wasn’t an imaginary person on a computer screen but a real live human being.
However, in Christian media and amongst proponents of the “Love Dare” book series, I’ve never read or saw any review that even hinted at condemnation of what she did — just disapproval of the husband Caleb’s porn use.
I guess that fits the Purity Culture, complementarian trope which says (or implies) that most all men in the world are consumed with sexual lust while most all women are clean, pure little darlings who rarely struggle with improper sexual fantasies and dalliances.