Some awfully bizarre things happened at the recent Strong Men’s Conference–and Jezebel made an appearance. I don’t even know where to begin, and I don’t want to talk about the conference itself because so many have already done a good job. To sum up, there was one of...
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What Does Accountability Look Like When Someone Hurt You?
Accountability is a necessary part of forgiveness and reconciliation. And yet often it’s downplayed, where even asking for accountability is somehow proof that you haven’t forgiven. Over the last few weeks we’ve been walking through some amazing truths from Susannah...
What Does It Mean to Lament After Betrayal?
With thanks to Brazos Press for sponsoring this post. Forgiveness is possible only after we’ve had the opportunity to name our losses. That’s how Susannah Griffith opens the chapter on lamentations in her book Forgiveness After Trauma. We talked about the book on the...
6 Surprising Things About Biblical Forgiveness
Why does our doctrine of forgiveness and healing often cause so much pain? We’re told the problem is our hearts, that we’re just bitter. But what if it’s not that? What if our teaching on forgiveness has gotten things all wrong? This week, on the podcast, I introduced...
PODCAST: What Does Healthy Forgiveness After Trauma Look Like?
Forgiveness is a concept that has often been weaponized against victims. Whether it's people married to abusers, or people married to someone who has cheated on them or hurt them in some other way, often in the church as long as that person apologizes, the onus is now...
When Unequal = Equal: How Complementarianism changes the Meaning of Words
Separate but equal has been tried and failed. So why is the church still using the same arguments about gender? It's International Women's Day, and I thought I'd sum up some of what we said in a podcast yesterday, combined with some great input you all gave me on...
PODCAST: Are We Creating a Strawman out of Complementarianism?
Who is really a complementarian? Just when we think we're finished arguing something, another critique pops up. And honestly--we had SUCH FUN doing this podcast! Keith and I planned it for several days beforehand, going over all the arguments we wanted to use. But it...
The 72-Hour Rule Isn’t a Thing: How Evangelicals Coerced Women into Sex Every 72 Hours
The 72 Hour Rule is Made Up by Evangelical Authors. Yep. This month on the blog we're "fact checking" common sex beliefs, and one of the biggest ones in evangelical circles is the 72 hour rule: the idea that a wife must have sex with her husband every 72 hours,...
Bible Baptist Tabernacle: The Pastor Who Said Women in Shorts Deserve To Be Raped
A few weeks ago, a North Carolina pastor went viral for saying men can’t help but rape. Here's Julie Roys' first tweet about it, with the embedded video, that blew up: Talking about women dressing in shorts: "If you dress like that & you get raped & I'm on the...
What if the 5 Love Languages Are Junk Science?
Do the 5 Love Languages stand up to scientific scrutiny? In January of this year, an article was published and was called Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective in the Psychological Science...
The Question That Haunts Me 35 Years Later
Scott was a seriously cute Australian whose accent made me swoon. I was 18-years-old, and attending Capernwray Bible college in England for a semester before I started at Queen’s University the following year. And I spent the first few weeks trying to get Scott’s...
When Male Hierarchy Teaching Turns Good Men Bad
Not everyone who ends up dominating their wife is actually an abuser at heart. What they are doing may be abusive; the same dynamics may be at play, and the same harm may be being done. But it doesn’t always come from the same place. Over and over again since we have...
PODCAST: Lies Women Believe Part 2–Is God a Monster?
We're back with Lies Women Believe, Part 2! Last week Natalie Hoffman and Gretchen Baskerville joined us to look at the problems in Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth's book Lies Women Believe, specifically about marriage. But to be honest, there was so much more about this book...