Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
Do we Think Jesus Saves Women so Women Can Save Men?
How is it that we defeat sin? According to the Bible, the Holy Spirit transforms us into the likeness of Christ (Romans 8:29) and sanctifies us once we make Jesus Lord of our life. We live by the Spirit (Romans 8) and we aren't slaves to sin anymore. We take every...
You Don’t Have to Say Yes to Selfish Sex
God does not ask us to consent to selfish sex. In fact, one-sided intercourse is not sex. I can summarize The Great Sex Rescue by saying that sex is supposed to be MUTUAL, INTIMATE, and PLEASURABLE FOR BOTH. That's what God intended. Sex is not merely intercourse...
Why My First Post-COVID Speaking Engagement Started with an Apology
Yesterday I had the great privilege of speaking at Colorado Christian University's Chapel.. It was my first post-COVID (since COVID? COVID's not really over) speaking engagement in person. I've done several via Zoom--some MOPS groups, a counseling group, several...
PODCAST: Do Christians Have Better Sex Lives? A Response to Josh Howerton
Do Christians have better marriages and sex lives? Last month Josh Howerton, lead pastor at Lakepointe Church in Dallas, wrote a Twitter thread sharing research with 5 reasons Christians are doing better than the media gives us credit for. Matt Chandler, head of The...
Keith: It’s a Short Line from Male Power to Abuse of Women and Children
Sheila here! Last week I published some "Fixed it for Yous" from biblical counselors which were extremely disturbing. My husband Keith was just infuriated, and asked to write his response. He's quite passionate about this, and he'll be recording this for our podcast...
Why Evangelicals Can’t Influence the World about Sex
For the last three years I've been trying to change the evangelical conversation about sex. I've been pointing out how we went so very far off track with so much of our messaging in our best-sellers--focusing on men's satisfaction and ignoring women's; seeing sex as a...
PODCAST: The Most Misunderstood Women of the Bible–and Research! Feat. Mary DeMuth
We misunderstand women in the Bible--and we misunderstand gender aspects of research! So let's talk. We've got Joanna visiting, so we've recorded a whole bunch of segments about how not to misuse research! Plus today Mary DeMuth joins us to talk about her new book The...
4 Concerns I Have with Biblical Counseling
Biblical counseling is a "school" or method of counseling that believes the Bible is sufficient for the problems that we encounter in life. It eschews psychology and "secular" research, and focuses on using the Bible to counsel people. Many Christian counselors are...
Your Thoughts on Biblical Counseling vs. Licensed Counseling
Yesterday I caused quite a stir by talking about some of the problems with how the biblical counseling movement started, and some of the problems with some places it's currently being taught. I want to stress that we don't need to think of biblical counseling vs....