Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
What Do Complementarianism and Coercive Control Have in Common?
Does abuse show up more in complementarian circles? If you missed episode 246 of the Bare Marriage podcast, you missed out on a great one (and I highly recommend going back to listen when you have a chance!). I had the privilege of sitting down with Bethany Jantzi....
Should Engaged Couples Commit to a Certain Frequency of Sex Once They’re Married?
Sheila here! Recently I saw a great post on Instagram by my friend Shari Smith, who handles a lot of my social media behind the scenes (she’s been a big help with my Facebook page getting hacked this week–PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow our new page!). Shari wrote a...
PODCAST: When Evangelical Marriage Advice Mimics Coercive Control
What if evangelical marriage advice actually mimics coercive control? A few months ago I was emailed by Bethany Jantzi when I started talking about The Excellent Wife online. She had just done her dissertation on how The Excellent Wife actually has the same advice and...
How Facebook Gave Me a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
You know when something happens and your heart stops and you start shaking? I had that experience yesterday when someone was able to hack into part of my Facebook business profile. I got sucked in by someone faking an email from a big podcast and pretending to want to...
Why Youth Pastors Shouldn’t “Date” Youth Group Members
Does it really matter if a YOUTH PASTOR dates & marries a GIRL in his youth group? After all, an age difference of 23 and 17 isn't that big a deal, right? It's illegal for a youth pastor to have sexual contact with a girl or boy in the youth group. Most of us know...
How Reading The Excellent Wife Affected Me Personally
The Excellent Wife is a horribly depressing book to read. It was profoundly heavy and sad. When I started writing these onesheets, they didn’t really affect me that much. Most of the books I was going to be reading were ones I had read already, or were ones I had read...
PODCAST: The Problems with The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
There are few books as harmful to women as The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of...
Problems with The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace: A Review
ONE OF THE THINGS WE’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ON THIS BLOG IS MAKING SURE THE SELF-HELP AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IN THE EVANGELICAL WORLD IS HEALTHY. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...
10 Reasons Christian Parents Have a Hard Time Giving up Spanking
Spanking your children is not good for them. A huge meta-analysis by Elizabeth Gershoff, done in 2016 of 160,000 children, found that spanking was either a net negative or neutral, but not positive. There are other discipline techniques that work better. In other...









