Spicy Marriage Dares — For Him!

Here’s where you’ll find your (the husband’s) version of the dares you purchased!

If you’re the spouse who bought the dares and you want to invite your wife to join you in a fun and playful way, check out our Spicy Dares Invitation Cards! See the printer-friendly PDF version here and the email-friendly version here!

These are written with a vague description with a time requirement, props needed, and anything else you need to know if you want to do it tonight! That is so that if you want it to be spontaneous, you’ll know you’re ready before you open it!

If, however, you’d prefer to see the dare ahead of time, go ahead and click on it to open up the text box with the actual dare. You can also download the full PDF at the bottom of the page if you’d prefer to print it out.

Have fun!

Psst: want to save this page as an app on your phone so you can access it more easily? If you’re an Android user, here’s an article to show you how! And if you’re an apple user, here’s how to save it as an app!

“The Expert Has Arrived” Nobody starts off being an expert. But she can learn–with your guidance.

Extras Needed: Nothing! Best Time to Do This: Any time will work!

Try "The Expert Has Arrived!"

Nobody is born knowing how the other sex likes to be touched. Men and women tend to prefer different things, and so often we need to be “taught” how to do it well. So tonight you’re going to play teacher! Pick something you’d like for her to learn how to do really well–touching and rubbing your penis; oral sex; whatever it may be. Now you’re going to show her what you want! Have her come into the room and explain that what you’re going to teach her, and how you’re going to teach her. Have a reward to give her when she learns well. Put it on the side of the bed, out of reach, and tell her she gets it when she passes the test. You can have do this one naked or fully clothed, whichever you think may help her to feel more confident (fully clothed can feel less intimate and be off-putting; for others, being fully clothed can help her feel more in control and less vulnerable). Explain very directly what you’d like her to do, giving constant feedback: “Swirl your tongue just there–a little higher–that’s right!” If she’s doing something a little bit wrong, tell her immediately, but then give her praise when she gets it right. You can choose to finish this way, or you can use this as foreplay and finish with intercourse. If you do finish this way, be sure to give her some pleasure yourself, too! Note: Some women find oral sex intimidating, and it can bring flashbacks of negative experiences in the past. If this is so for her, it’s likely better to teach her how to touch you. Also, some women may not mind performing oral sex as foreplay, but they don’t want you to climax that way. Maintaining her trust is vital here, so don’t do anything that may violate her boundaries.

“Don’t Touch the Bits!” Bide your time. It’s worth it.

Extras Needed: Blindfold, if desired Best Time to Do This: Any time!

Try "Don't Touch the Bits!"

Women find touch on the clitoris or vagina to be very stimulating–IF it’s done when they’re already slightly aroused! If you zero in on that part of their body like a bullseye, it could backfire on you. So tonight you’re going to explore her errogenous zones, in order. To get ready, watch the video together that’s embedded in this post here: Do Husbands Understand How Much Women Need Foreplay? Then you’re going to spend some time on different erogenous zones! Both of you undress and lie on the bed. Tell her that you’re going to explore her zones, but you’re only going to move to the next one when she says you’re ready. Give her exact words to say, like, “Next!” or “Move on!” As you pay attention to different parts of her body, try to use different sensations, like light touch, kiss, suck, or small bites. Try this order:

Earlobe/ears
Mouth
Neck
Toes
Insides of elbows/back of knees
Stomach
Inside of thighs
Breasts
Clitoris/Vagina

Remember–no moving on until she says “it’s time!” If she gets really excited by number 6 or 7, and wants you to move on faster, resist the temptation and draw it out. You can end bringing her to climax herself, or you can use this as foreplay and move on to intercourse. Note: Some women have a very hard time being the center of attention, and will want to get this over with because they feel awkward. Reassure her that you want to do this, and you want to do it slowly. Also, some women may prefer a blindfold, not because you want to control her, but because by taking away one sense (sight) it can heighten the other ones (touch). She may also feel less awkward if she doesn’t see you. And then she won’t know what’s coming next, either!

“All That Jazz” No wallflowers tonight!

Extras Needed: Music Best Time to Do This: After you’ve had some time to research some great dancing music!

Try "All That Jazz!"

Many women LOVE dancing. But a lot of guys feel awkward. Tonight, it’s time to swallow any awkwardness you feel and be romantic with her! Turn on some jazz, set some candles, and hold her tight while you sway to the music. If you’d like something more fun where you can laugh, choose a different music genre. Whatever you both would like best! Then, as you’re dancing, make sure that some clothes come off. You can end the evening in whichever room you’d like. Want to take it to the next level? Try learning a dance step together as “foreplay”. Here’s a great example of a beginning rumba step. When you’ve gotten that down, then you can do that with some rumba music! Here’s a great playlist that may have you hamming it up! To really make this special, do some research beforehand on YouTube for some beginner dance routines that you think you can master and learn together. She’ll appreciate it!

“The Charles Boyle” The most intimate thing you can do for someone is wash their hair–Charles Boyle, Brooklyn 99

Extras Needed: Luxurious towels, bubble bath, wonderfully scented shampoo, a jug for pouring water. Best Time to Do This: At the end of the day when she wants to wind down and relax!

Try "The Charles Boyle!"

Charles Boyle, the slightly nerdy police detective on Brooklyn 99, insists that washing a woman’s hair is the most intimate thing you can do–and we’re not going to argue! Tonight, you’re going to give her a luxurious bath, including washing and towel drying her hair. And you can wash her in other spots, too. Run the bath, and add a capful of bubble bath, if you desire. Lead her to the bathroom by the hand, and take off all of her clothing. Help her into the bath, and tell her that you are going to pamper her. Have her lie back and wash her hair, pouring the water with a jug. Really massage her scalp. Repeat with conditioner. Then move on to her body. Allow the water to drip all over her body. Using a facecloth, rub soap into her arms. Lift up her legs and wash them as well. When the bath is finished, help her out and dry her off, including towel drying her hair. Now you’re all ready for whatever you’d like next!

“The Rocket Launcher” Send her confidence into the stratosphere

Extras Needed: Temporary tattoos, basin of warm water, washcloth Best Time to Do This: Any time will work!

Try "The Rocket Launcher!"

You’re going to rock your wife–and boost her confidence into the stratosphere by showing her what body parts you most admire of hers. First, get some temporary tattoos (here are some that you can order from Amazon). Cut out some hearts (or whichever ones you choose) so they’re already to go. Bring a bowl full of very warm water (so it’s not cold) and a washcloth. Invite your wife into the bedroom and undress with her. Start kissing and touching her, concentrating on parts of her body that drive you wild. Whenever you get to that part of her body, affix the tattoo by putting it on her body and then wetting it for about a minute. While you’re doing this, tell her why that part of her body is mesmerizing to you, and what effect she has on you. Tell her when you first noticed that part of her body, and what you thought. Pick at least 3 areas of the body (but you can do more!). Remember to only affix the tattoos to places that clothing would normally cover, unless you want them to be seen. Tell her that over the next few days, as the tattoos fade, you want her to look in the mirror and to be reminded that you love those parts of her body. After you’re done, tell her that you love looking at her. And then have fun making sure that she feels a lot of pleasure tonight.

“Holy Moly!” It’s all about connecting the dots

Extras Needed: Candles Best Time to Do This: Any time!

Try "Holy Moly!"

You’re going to explore every bit of her body, and show her that you know her intimately! Light some candles (so that you can see without the light being too harsh), and have both of you undress and get in bed. Start at her toes, and lick and suck each one. Then proceed around her body, finding every mole or freckle, and kissing it. Tell her what you find sexy about them. Do the ones on her lower legs, arms, and neck first. Move to her back. Then concentrate on her thighs, stomach, and then chest. As you kiss and lick, tell her that tomorrow, when she’s in the shower and she notices this freckle, she should remember what you did. If she’s had babies, spend time on her stretch marks or C-section scars as well, and tell her what they mean to you, and how much you appreciate her. When you’ve done all the freckles, spend time kissing and sucking on other parts of her body! You can finish this way, or move on to intercourse. But try to make sure she climaxes tonight!

“No More Clean-Up on Aisle 5” More sex with less mess

Extras Needed: Condoms (non-contraceptive alternatives below) Best Time to Do This: Any time!

Try "No More Clean Up on Aisle 5!"

Many women find that sex just doesn’t feel sexy because the clean up is often–well–a little sticky. So guys, take a night and make sex about HER–get rid of the clean up hassle so she can focus more on how she’s feeling than what she might have to clean out of the sheets later. Grab a box of condoms and give mess-free sex a try! Spend a lot of time on foreplay, but for intercourse, use a condom so there is no mess. If she doesn’t climax during intercourse, make sure she does afterwards. Then, let her drift off to sleep without having to get up to pee or deal with changing the sheets before bed! If you already normally use condoms: Choose some special ones! Even get a variety to try, like different ribbed ones. Contraceptive-free alternative: make it her night! Use your hands (or your tongue!) but make sex all about HER! This isn’t about you getting any tonight (there are other dares for that). It’s about giving her a night where the focus is on what makes her feel good. It’s about reclaiming sex for her, too.

“The Grand Tour” She’s everything to me

Extras Needed: Blindfold Best Time to Do This: When you are kid-free 100%!

Try "The Grand Tour!"

Tonight is the night that you’re going to shower your wife with compliments and praises, telling her everything that she means to you, in all of her different roles. Bring her down to the lowest floor on your house, in the living room, kitchen, whatever, or in the room farthest from the bedroom in your apartment. (It’s okay to start this one out clothed, in case you’re worried that drapes or blinds may not completely obscure what’s going on.) Blindfold your wife, and tell her that tonight is just about her listening and feeling. Lead her on a tour of your house, stopping to passionately kiss, massage, and caress in each different room. In each room, tell her what the room represents to you about her, and how impressed you are with each role that she plays and what she does for you and for your family. Share a specific memory about that role (something she has cooked; a time you shared watching a show or TV; the way she mothers; the way she looks after the house; the money she brings in working in the office; anything. In the bathroom, you may tell her how you love how she smells after a shower, or how you love watching her dry off or put on makeup.) Try to focus mostly on passionate kissing as you move throughout the house, associating each passionate kiss with appreciation and compliments about the different roles that she plays. When you move to the bedroom, carry it out further!

Spicy Marriage Dares — For Both of You!

Here’s where you’ll find the dares for both of you to do together! These are laid out the same way as your personal dares were, so you and your spouse can choose which dare to do together!

These dares are also included in the PDF available to be printed off if you’d prefer to have these in a physical form, as well!

Have fun!

“The Drive-In” Are the windows getting foggy?

Extras Needed: A car with plenty of space, if possible Best Time to Do This: On a date night!

Try "The Drive-In!"

The “makeout session” in a car is iconic in teenage culture. But teenagers making out, of course, is not a great idea. Here’s the good news: You’re not teenagers anymore! And you’ve got a marriage license! So you’re totally legal to make out all you want. 🙂 So let’s have some fun and have that frantic make out session. Drive out on a deserted road. Go to a drive-in movie. Visit a deserted parking lot after dark (as long as they don’t have security!). And have some fun. (Remember that sex in a public place is illegal; so keep this one hot ‘n heavy, but save the rest until you get home!). While you’re out on the drive, talk to each other about the sexual frustrations you had as a teen. Did you wonder what it would be like when someone can finally touch you THERE? Now they can! Tell each other what you used to dream of, and what you used to wonder about, and then fulfill each other’s dreams!

“Texas Hold ‘Em” You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to strip ’em!

Extras Needed: A deck of cards, a game of Yahtzee, or any other game you’d like to play. A portable heater, if necessary. Best Time to Do This: Any time!

Try "Texas Hold 'Em!"

Strip poker is awfully fun! And it can be a big tease, too. So let’s get a game on–and the clothes off. Find a game that is fairly quick to play each hand, like Poker, or Yahtzee. Make it more a game of chance than skill, so that both of you will have to shed things. To make it more comfortable to play, make sure the area is nice and warm. Set up a portable heater or turn on a fireplace if it’s winter. Each of you should start off with 5 items of clothing (ie. panties, bra, pants, shirt, socks; or pants, shirt, undershirt, underwear, socks). Whenever you lose a hand, you have to remove an item of clothing AND give the winner a long, passionate kiss, in a place of the winner’s choice. Once all clothes are off, you can proceed to “win” in another way! Take it up a notch: If you’d like to keep the game going and ramp up the teasing, use the timer setting on your phone and instruct the loser to do something for one minute. Examples could be:

Fondle me (in place of my choice)

Perform oral sex

Give neck massage

Passionate kiss

Etc.

The “loser” is the one who is naked AND has performed 5 minutes of sexual favours. The winner then gets to choose how the night will end.

“Around the World” It’s all up and down–and up again!

Extras Needed: A timer (most phones have one) Best Time to Do This: Any time will work!

Try "Around the World!"

It’s a smorgasbord of sexual positions–and sexual fun! Tonight you’re going to try a whole bunch of things, but only for a few minutes each. See how many you can get through before you just have to–you know. 🙂 Get undressed, with some light candlelight if you’d like (it’s likely easier to be able to see for this one!). Grab a phone and use the timer app. Set one phone for two minutes, and one phone for one minute. You’ll each be in charge of one of the phones. Do each action listed below for 2 minutes, and then take a one minute break to cool down. During cool down you can read what’s coming next to get ready, talk to each other, tease each other–whatever you’d like! You just can’t touch each other. See how far around the world of positions you can get before you can’t stand it anymore!

Kiss passionately.
Kiss passionately–and add a lot of fondling in
Using your hands, fondle each other’s errogenous zones, without touching the genitals
Using your hands, fondle each other’s genitals
Using your mouth, stimulate each other’s genitals (if desired). You can either do this simultaneously, or spend two minutes on one person and two minutes on the other.
Start intercourse: Missionary position
Position #2: Her on top
Position #3: Have him stand by the side of the bed and enter her while she’s lying down, face up
Position #4: Have her kneel on all fours and he enters from behind
Position #5: Her on top again
Position #6: Her on top–but this time face his toes, not his head (this is a little trickier, but allows him to use his hands well)
Position #7: Missionary with a twist–he kneels and lifts her hips to allow him to go deeper

Once you’ve done them all, feel free to spend more time on one or two particular positions you like best and finish that way. If she doesn’t finish through intercourse, be sure to have her finish another way. Note: If there are any positions that make her feel uncomfortable, or that cause her pain, then don’t do those ones. When getting used to a new position, allow her to do the moving to make sure that she’s not in any kind of discomfort before any movement on his part!

“You CAN Handle the Truth!” The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth

Extras Needed: Nothing! Best Time to Do This: Any time will work!

Try "You Can Handle the Truth!"

You’re going to learn about each other’s real preferences–and what makes each other tick sexually! So get naked and answer these questions! (it’s often easier to get silly and intimate when you’re naked than when you’re fully clothed. If you find the nakedness makes it more awkward, then feel free to answer these while clothed.) Another option is to hide under the covers when it’s your turn to answer. Anything to make it less awkward! Take turns answering each of these questions:

1. What do you want me to say while we are making love?
2. What is your idea of sexy bedroom language? Give me an example.
3. What goes through your mind while we make love?
4. What did you think the first time you saw me naked?
5. What is your favorite part of my body?
6. If we could have sex anywhere in public and not get caught, tell me where it would be.
7. What is your favorite sexual memory that we share?

As you’re working through the questions and learning more things about each other, feel free to put them into practice right away! Try saying some sexy things to each other, or spend some time touching or licking your favorite part of your spouse’s body. Then, when you’re done with the questions, put them in practice while you actually do make love!

“A Sticky Situation” Time to get yummy–in more ways than one!

Extras Needed: Chocolate syrup (preferably one in a squeeze tube), a drink that you enjoy, foods that you enjoy (like chocolate or strawberries) Best Time to Do This: Any time will work!

Try "A Sticky Situation!"

Tonight we’re going to stimulate the taste sense! Bring some yummy foods into the bedroom and enjoy together–strawberries and sparkling wine, sparkling cider, or any drink that you prefer. Feed them to each other while naked. Even add some regular chocolates, too! Now we’re going to use the chocolate syrup. Instead of pouring it on each other’s bodies, pour it on your own. Take the squeeze bottle and draw an arrow where you’d like your spouse to lick it off. For instance, you could draw one starting at your knee and moving to your genital region, pointing there. The neat part is the “point” of the arrow will have more chocolate sauce, so that’s where they’ll have to spend most of their time! Use this as foreplay, or feel free to bring each other to climax while doing this. And you can take multiple turns, too. Perhaps you want to start with some on the neck, or the stomach, and then move on from there. If someone is not comfortable with oral sex per se, then this is a great dare to try, because you can focus the attention elsewhere, while getting used to enjoying the sensation. NOTE: Some people may not have chocolate syrup, and so they’ll try to make do with honey or maple syrup. I suggest against that, simply because they’re a LOT stickier, and sticky isn’t always fun! Whipped cream is another option, but it can melt fast, and too much of it can also make you feel a little bit sick. Plus chocolate is yummy! But at the end of the day, make any substitutions you feel are necessary.

“We’re Going on a G Hunt” Does it exist? Let’s find out!

Extras Needed: Nothing! Best Time to Do This: Any time!

Try "We're Going on a G Hunt!"

What is the G-spot? At one point, researchers thought it was a little nub of flesh about 1 ½ inches up the vaginal wall, on the front side of her body. Now researchers are questioning that, saying that it’s not an individual thing at all, but instead part of the clitoris, whose nerve endings extend up into the vagina. But you know what? It doesn’t matter! It feels good regardless. And so tonight, why not go on a little hunt? Make this one fun! It doesn’t need to be a pass-fail thing. Let’s just learn what feels good for her. Tips for her: When you’re making love, try to center your energy and your thoughts on the inside, front wall of your vagina. If you pay attention there, you’re more likely to experience pleasure from it. Keep focused! Also, tilt your pelvis! Squeeze your buttocks a bit and tilt your pelvis up. This puts your vaginal wall a little at an angle, making it easier for him to hit the right spot. Clenching some muscles also activates the nerves from the clitoral area, making more stimulation possible. When you’re trying these things, take them slow, and move around little by little to see what feels good. When you hit the right spot, you’ll often feel almost a jolt of pleasure. That’s what you’re looking for! Don’t get too worried about it, though. Just have fun feeling. Because the G-spot is on the inside wall, some of our more “usual” sex positions don’t always give it the best stimulation. So let’s try some other things! Do any of these positions that she feels comfortable with. Ease into them, and let her call the shots. Is it feeling good? Keep doing it. If you’re not sure you’re at “the spot”, but it’s still feeling good–then keep doing it anyway!

Using his fingers, rub her clitoris until she’s aroused. Then insert his forefinger into her vagina, and make a “come here” motion against her front vaginal wall.
Try Her on Top–with a twist. He lies on his back, and she climbs on top of him. Instead of moving up and down, though, try rocking back and forth a bit (not too hard; don’t hurt him!). Slight movements are fine; you just need more stimulation or pressure to that part of her.
Try “Reverse Cowgirl”. To get even more intense, straddle him again, but this time face his feet, not his face. This puts much more pressure on the front vaginal wall, and often results in better G-spot stimulation.
Try entering her from behind. Let her determine the depth, and let her guide you in if it’s uncomfortable. Then be still and let her move, often moving her hips in a circular fashion, rather than in-and-out. To make this position feel even better, have him reach around and put pressure on her clitoris at the same time. You don’t need to rub it per se; just put pressure, and then as she moves, she’ll feel it!

Finish in any position you want that feels the best! Try to make sure that she experiences climax as well.

“Mix ‘N Match” Sometimes the best combinations are found by accident!

Extras Needed: 2 bowls, timer app on your phone Best Time to Do This: Any time will work!

Try "Mix N Match!"

We’re going to ramp up the foreplay tonight! Cut up pieces of paper and write down a variety of body parts on half and actions on the other. Divide them into two bowls: One for action, and one for body part. Here’s a list to get you started: Actions:

Lick
Suck
Gently bite
Rub
Tease (light touch)
Kiss

Body Parts:

Ears
Neck
Mouth
Thighs
Breasts
Genitals

Set the timer for either 60 seconds, and have one of you grab a piece of paper from each of the bowls. Then do what it says! Replace the pieces of paper in the right bowls, and switch. Continue until you’ve each done five rounds. Then you can keep going, or finish any way you’d like! Note: For some people, certain body parts are very sensitive. Some may not like their nipples bitten, even softly, and some may not like that in their genital region, either. On the other hand, once arousal has kicked in to full gear, this may become more enticing. Just amend where necessary!

“When No One Knows” Two people. Two phones. Let the flirting begin!

Extras Needed: Nothing! Best Time to Do This: Sometime during the day while on an errand together.

Try "When No One Knows!"

Let’s turn the flirt up–and make it hot and heavy! One of the fun parts of being married is having a secret side of your relationship that nobody else shares. So this week you’re going to share that together, without anybody else knowing. Pick a time when you’ll be waiting together in public somewhere. It could be at a doctor’s office, in line at the bank or grocery store, or wherever. Ideally, though, you’d be beside each other. Now start texting about what you’d rather be doing to each other, right at this moment, instead of waiting here. The sky is the limit on this one! If you find it difficult to be that direct, then share with each other your favourite sexual memory with your spouse, and try to spell it out in detail.

OPTIONAL BONUS: “I See All of You…” You’ll be surprised how sexy this can actually be!

Extras Needed: None Best Time to Do This: When you have an extended time together to talk

Try "I See All of You!"

This bonus requires a bit of a preamble. When I was on TV a while ago, I said something that I regretted. It just sounded so lame at the time, and I wished I could have phrased it better. I was talking about how pornography made sex only about the body, and how our society has forgotten that what is really sexy is when you’re able to be emotionally intimate with one another. Research has shown that couples who feel the closest to each other most often have women who reach climax. And then I said it. “One of the sexiest things you can do together is to pray!” I know people won’t understand what I meant. I wish I had had more time to flesh it out. But it is true. When we feel as if the other person understands us and still accepts us, that often triggers our sex drive, because sex is ultimately a desire for intimate connection. Prayer, along with honest communication, is one of the most vulnerable things you can do together. And so I want to invite both of you today to go deeper with one another–emotionally and spiritually. I want to encourage you to be vulnerable. And then just see where that leads! If you’re not the praying type, you can still do the first bit of this exercise. But try it. And see how you feel! You can do this while going for a walk, while sipping coffee or tea, while snuggling on the sofa. It’s best not to do this while going out for dinner, because it works better if you can touch each other while you’re talking. Use these conversation starters to learn more about one another! Work through the questions, and then take turns answering them. You can do them all at once, or throughout the day. Give them the time they need! It’s okay to go on rabbit trails. This is so that you learn more about each other that you may not have known before. When your spouse talks, try to just listen. After they’ve finished, ask probing questions, like “what did you do then?” or “how did that make you feel?” Sometimes the best gift we can give our spouse is to be a listening ear to help them process things. You don’t need to fix anything or offer advice; just listen and learn.

What is one of your best memories from your childhood?
What was one of your biggest disappointments in your childhood?
Who do you miss most from your childhood or teenage years?
What’s a dream you once had that you don’t think you’ll be able to meet?
What’s a dream you have right now that scares you a little bit?
Do you have any recurring nightmares? What are they?
What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

Once you’ve worked through those, take some time and pray together. It doesn’t have to be long prayers, but cover these things, back and forth, using the specifics that you’ve just learned about each other. Don’t pray for yourself, but pray for the things that your spouse shared:

Ask God to heal your spouse’s heart from any lingering hurt from the disappointment of their childhood.
Ask God to restore any relationships that need to be restored from childhood, or thank God for the wonderful blessing that someone was in shaping who your spouse is now.
Ask God to give your spouse amazing dreams for Him, and call out the giftings and talents that you see in your spouse that will help him or her meet those dreams.
Ask God to give peace and comfort over your spouse’s nightmares.

Once you’ve finished this, do anything you feel like doing, whether it’s sexual, just romantic–anything. Have fun–and feel close!

Wanting to print off the dares all at once?

If you’d prefer to print off a PDF with the dares written out in a list, you can click the button below to get a printable PDF version of these dares.

Download the PDF now!