Recent Posts
Does Sex Have a Start-Up Cost for You? Or a Major Cost?
When people say they “don’t want” sex tonight, what do they mean? We talked about this on the Bare Marriage podcast last week, but I'd like to elaborate on part of it today. I think we often get confused when people talk about this. They’ll say,“Well, sometimes I have...
7 Ways Churches Can Help People Going through Divorce
with thanks to Brazos Press and the book Forgiveness After Trauma for sponsoring this post. Divorce is one of the most painful things a person can go through. But often, right when people need help the most, the church abandons them. A few weeks ago on the Bare...
PODCAST: Are We Saying Wives Don’t Have to Have Sex?
"So you think it's okay if women just don't have sex, then?" Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines--without obligation,...
What Does Accountability Look Like When Someone Hurt You?
Accountability is a necessary part of forgiveness and reconciliation. And yet often it’s downplayed, where even asking for accountability is somehow proof that you haven’t forgiven. Over the last few weeks we’ve been walking through some amazing truths from Susannah...
When Evangelical Misogyny Goes Viral: “Stand Where He Wants You to Stand”
So a funny thing happened to me last week regarding that Josh Howerton video... First, I should be thankful I wasn't feeling particularly well on Thursday. Episode 230 of the Bare Marriage podcast dropped, where Jay Stringer and I were talking about a terrible clip by...
PODCAST: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer
Is the honeymoon all about the guy FINALLY getting sex? Nope. But too often evangelicals talk like this--and it has grave consequences. Licensed counselor Jay Stringer sent me a video a few weeks ago that he was really concerned about. SBC Megachurch pastor Josh...
What Does It Mean to Lament After Betrayal?
With thanks to Brazos Press for sponsoring this post. Forgiveness is possible only after we’ve had the opportunity to name our losses. That’s how Susannah Griffith opens the chapter on lamentations in her book Forgiveness After Trauma. We talked about the book on the...
Why Can’t I Reach Orgasm after Menopause?
What happens to your ability to orgasm after menopause? In the last few months I’ve talked to three women in my social circle who say that orgasm has completely stopped once they started menopause, though it was pretty easy before. For one woman it’s been ten years...
6 Surprising Things About Biblical Forgiveness
Why does our doctrine of forgiveness and healing often cause so much pain? We’re told the problem is our hearts, that we’re just bitter. But what if it’s not that? What if our teaching on forgiveness has gotten things all wrong? This week, on the podcast, I introduced...
PODCAST: What Does Healthy Forgiveness After Trauma Look Like?
Forgiveness is a concept that has often been weaponized against victims. Whether it's people married to abusers, or people married to someone who has cheated on them or hurt them in some other way, often in the church as long as that person apologizes, the onus is now...