Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
PODCAST: Should Carl Lentz Have a Platform Again After Multiple “Affairs”?
What happens when a disgraced pastor wants a comeback? Back in 2020, news broke that Carl Lentz, the celebrity pastor from Hillsong New York, had had "multiple significant affairs" and had been bullying and erratic. (One of the "affairs" was with an employee and...
Complementarians Approach the Bible the Same Way Pro-Slavery People Did
Defending slavery and defending male only leadership in the church and the home use the same hermeneutic. My husband Keith has been writing a series of the deceptive ways that complementarians approach Scripture, and today is the final post in the series. He's looked...
Can We Be Honest about the Dishonest Way Complementarians Interpret Scripture?
What if complementarians are biased when they read the Bible? We're in the middle of a series my husband Keith has been writing, inspired by the convos he gets into on social media with complementarian and misogynist men about the Bible. He finds they use the same...
PODCAST: Why Is the Old Testament So Cavalier About the Abuse of Women? feat. Helen Paynter
Have you ever felt uncomfortable with the treatment of women in the Old Testament? I was recently sent a note from a woman that said this:I've been really seriously struggling as I've been leaving the evangelical church recently and what has spurred a lot of this on...
Are Evangelical Egalitarians Just “Giving in to Culture” While Complementarians stick to the Bible?
Do egalitarians just Giving in to Culture? My husband Keith (bless him!) spends an inordinate amount of time on social media arguing with complementarians. And he's noticed some commonalities in their arguments. So he decided to wite a series on the big problems with...
What’s the Proper Way to Approach the Ephesians 5 Marriage Passages?
Our approach to the marriage passages about Scripture shows us how we view God. Do we try to find justification for hierarchy and power, or do we look at the bigger picture? My husband Keith spends a lot of his free time engaging on Threads and Facebook with super...
PODCAST: What If Tim and Kathy Keller Were Wrong About Marriage?
Are wives supposed to be more like Jesus than husbands are? Because that's sure what it can sound like, when authors like Tim and Kathy Keller tell women that Philippians 2--about Jesus taking the form of a servant and becoming nothing--is how women should act in...
Dear Deconstructionists: Evangelical Women Need Our Help–They Don’t Just “Deserve” What’s Coming
We have a crisis of abuse in the evangelical church. It's hard to get exact numbers on it, but it seems as if marital abuse is just as high in evangelical circles as it is in the general population--BUT (and this is an important BUT) evangelical women take longer to...
Evangelicals Keep Blaming Rape Victims Because They Don’t Understand Trauma
Evangelicals have a horrible history of blaming rape victims. We saw it during purity culture where losing your virginity--whether consensually or non-consensually--was lumped into the same category as being "impure." We saw it in Eric and Leslie Ludy's book When God...