Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
PODCAST: Love Like a Mother
Have you ever felt like God was more like some than others? When you're a woman, and God is always talked about as male, it can make it seem like God can understand men more than women. Like the things that women go through are a little alien to God, more so than the...
Was Every Man’s Battle an Improvement on What Came Before?
"Sure it was harmful--but it was still an improvement!" Or was it? That's the pushback that I often get when I critique evangelical sex and marriage books. I'll show that the book contains harmful teaching, and people will say, "well, yeah, but it's still better than...
How Evangelical Sex Teachings Obscured the Red Flags in Death of a Pastor’s Wife
The strangest thing about watching Netflix’s Death of a Pastor’s Wife is how familiar it all feels. Our family has been attending an Anglican Church since COVID ended. We haven’t been in a typical evangelical church for over 7 years. We left because of trauma and...
PODCAST: If Men Are the Protectors, Why Do They Want Women to Do Risky Things?
When women are vulnerable, abuse can flourish And it's a problem that so much advice to evangelical women today is aimed at making women extremely vulnerable--sexually, financially, relationally. Today we're going to look at how much women are asked to do risky things...
Sexual Double Standards: We Expect So Much More from Women Than From Men–Which leads to Male Entitlement
Evangelicalism has huge double standards of sexual expectations in marriage. One of the things we tried to drive home in The Marriage You Want is that the biggest killer of marriage is entitlement. When you think you're owed something from your spouse without you...
Why Does Evangelicalism Pit Husbands Against Babies?
One of the most common pieces of marriage advice you’ll hear in evangelical circles is “your husband comes before the kids.” It’s constant, and we’re always reminded that one day the kids will leave home, but your husband will still be there. He needs to be the...
PODCAST: The Problems with The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle
The Emowered Wife is really, really bad. Like horrifically bad. It basically tells women to self-erase and self-censor in order to make husbands have as smooth a ride as possible so that there's no reason for them to feel triggered, so that they'll be nice to you. And...
The Problems with The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle: A Review with Download
One of the things we're passionate about on this blog is making sure the advice that is given about marriage and sex in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 40,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the...
What if the Aim of Complementarianism is the Lack of Accountability for Men?
Is the aim of complementarianism to give men leadership over women? Most complementarians would eventually say yes, even if reluctantly. They would say that God calls men to headship over women, which means that men have to be willing to lead their wives--which is a...