Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
PODCAST: If Men Are the Protectors, Why Do They Want Women to Do Risky Things?
When women are vulnerable, abuse can flourish And it's a problem that so much advice to evangelical women today is aimed at making women extremely vulnerable--sexually, financially, relationally. Today we're going to look at how much women are asked to do risky things...
Sexual Double Standards: We Expect So Much More from Women Than From Men–Which leads to Male Entitlement
Evangelicalism has huge double standards of sexual expectations in marriage. One of the things we tried to drive home in The Marriage You Want is that the biggest killer of marriage is entitlement. When you think you're owed something from your spouse without you...
Why Does Evangelicalism Pit Husbands Against Babies?
One of the most common pieces of marriage advice you’ll hear in evangelical circles is “your husband comes before the kids.” It’s constant, and we’re always reminded that one day the kids will leave home, but your husband will still be there. He needs to be the...
PODCAST: The Problems with The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle
The Emowered Wife is really, really bad. Like horrifically bad. It basically tells women to self-erase and self-censor in order to make husbands have as smooth a ride as possible so that there's no reason for them to feel triggered, so that they'll be nice to you. And...
The Problems with The Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle: A Review with Download
One of the things we're passionate about on this blog is making sure the advice that is given about marriage and sex in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 40,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the...
What if the Aim of Complementarianism is the Lack of Accountability for Men?
Is the aim of complementarianism to give men leadership over women? Most complementarians would eventually say yes, even if reluctantly. They would say that God calls men to headship over women, which means that men have to be willing to lead their wives--which is a...
PODCAST: If Men Are Leaders, Why Do They Need Women to Fix Them?
Ever noticed how much evangelical marriage advice treats men like little boys? And the solution that helps men mature and grow up is women? But then these same books turn around and tell you he's the leader? So basically men aren't capable of being mature and making...
The Story of Two Pastors Defending Marital Rape
I'm often surprised what sexist pastors will say in public comments on social media. This week I've been posting quite a bit on Facebook about the story I shared in Monday's post where the Navigators' material justified marital rape. We've had multiple posts and...
How The Navigators Normalized Marital Rape
Let's look at how specific discipleship materials actually enable marital rape. But first, a bit of background. Last week on my Substack I re-ran a post I wrote a few years ago on this blog about the two kinds of marital rape (here's the Substack post and the original...