Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
PODCAST: Live, Laugh, Love with Kristen Kobes Du Mez
At long last, Live, Laugh, Love is here! Kristin Du Mez made history when she wrote Jesus and John Wayne, the history of evangelicalism and how it led to Trump (and what it said about masculinity). People wanted her to do the same thing to write about how the...
The Roller Coaster of Emotions that is Live, Laugh, Love
Learning how the sausage is made is not always a pleasant experience. But ignorance isn’t always bliss. And knowing the truth is fascinating, and maturing, and mesmerizing even as it evokes horror and disgust. In the last few years there have been a plethora of books...
Biblical Womanhood Is Basically the Fawn Trauma Response (You Can Pre-Order Now!)
Fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Those are the common responses we have to trauma. When we face a threat, our body may go into fight mode. We may try to run away (or desperately want to!). We may freeze, feel unable to do anything. Or we may fawn. That last one is a...
PODCAST: Look Like a Lady–5 Visual Tropes of Womanhood that Keep Women Small
What does it mean to look like a lady? One of the fun part about my job is that I get to read books that I wouldn't otherwise hear of--books that are unique, ever so cool, and change my thinking. All while teaching me something new! Look Like a Lady is like that. We...
How Evangelical Women Navigate Sexual Pain Disorders: New Peer Reviewed Paper!
Ever felt like God was your pimp? I know that's an inflammatory statement, but I've heard this sentiment from so many evangelical women that we've interviewed in our research, or from comments and DMs. When sex is something that is degrading, painful, or makes you...
PODCAST: Love Like a Mother
Have you ever felt like God was more like some than others? When you're a woman, and God is always talked about as male, it can make it seem like God can understand men more than women. Like the things that women go through are a little alien to God, more so than the...
Was Every Man’s Battle an Improvement on What Came Before?
"Sure it was harmful--but it was still an improvement!" Or was it? That's the pushback that I often get when I critique evangelical sex and marriage books. I'll show that the book contains harmful teaching, and people will say, "well, yeah, but it's still better than...
How Evangelical Sex Teachings Obscured the Red Flags in Death of a Pastor’s Wife
The strangest thing about watching Netflix’s Death of a Pastor’s Wife is how familiar it all feels. Our family has been attending an Anglican Church since COVID ended. We haven’t been in a typical evangelical church for over 7 years. We left because of trauma and...
PODCAST: If Men Are the Protectors, Why Do They Want Women to Do Risky Things?
When women are vulnerable, abuse can flourish And it's a problem that so much advice to evangelical women today is aimed at making women extremely vulnerable--sexually, financially, relationally. Today we're going to look at how much women are asked to do risky things...