What if you could THINK yourself to a GREAT marriage?

Could the way that you’re be thinking be keeping your marriage ho-hum?

Read on–because I believe that God has so much more for you!

Check out 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage

Tired of “Pat Answers” That Never Seem To Work?

We’ve all heard them:

  • Just pray more and your marriage will get better!
  • If you submit, he’ll start to lead.
  • Once you find your soulmate, you’ll finally be happy.
  • If you’re bothered by something, Duck! Let God smack him, not you.
  • Conflict is bad for a marriage; just love on him and the urge to fight will stop.

All of those things may sound true–and in some cases they are! But the reason they’re “pat answers” is that they’re not ALWAYS true. They take a complex problem and try to condense it to one-size-fits-all advice.

And quite often it doesn’t fit.

Let’s go beyond pat answers and go deeper–to REAL solutions that can give you the marriage you’ve always wanted.

Do you yearn to feel truly intimate with your spouse? Do you have this overwhelming feeling like you’re missing out on something–that God had so much more planned for your marriage, but you can’t quite figure out how to get there? When you’ve put into practice all the usual advice, but your marriage still falls short of the intimacy and joy you want, what then? Are patience and perseverance your only hope for a better relationship?

I’m author and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire. And let me assure you–The solution to a happier relationship is not found in being a more patient, more perfect wife, but in taking responsibility for what you can do—and especially for how you think about your marriage. Let me challenge you to replace pat Christian answers with nine biblical truths that will radically shift your perspective on your husband, your relationship, and your role in God’s design for marriage.

No more pat answers!

What are people saying about 9 Thoughts?

We’ve all heard the adage, “It takes two to make a marriage work.” And it’s true. But with 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage, Sheila Wray Gregoire gives women powerful tools to make a huge difference in their marriages all on their own. Instead of focusing on what our husbands should do, Sheila helps us focus on what we as wives actually can do. Actionable, empowering, and freeing. A must-read for any woman who wonders if her marriage could be better.
Kathi Lipp

Author of The Husband Project and Clutter Free

Although an honest personal assessment can be painful at times in marriage, it is worth it. Sheila takes us on a journey of discovering how our personal thoughts may be interfering with our marriage and gives us practical steps on how to make the lasting change we long for and desperately need!
Ruth Schwenk

Speaker, Author, and Creator of TheBetterMom.com

What I love most about Sheila is that she write from experience, not just theory. She is transparent about how her own faulty thinking created struggles early in her marriage, and she celebrates how God redeemed her situation to create the beautiful relationship she now enjoys with her husband. Through this, readers will be encouraged that a transformed marriage relationship just may start in changing their own way of thinking.
Erin Odom

creator of TheHumbleHomemaker.com and author of Your Retreat: A Guide to Giving Yourself a Personal Planning Day

Who Can Change Your Marriage?

God certainly can. Your husband certainly can.

But what if God wants to empower you to do something yourself? And what if you’re spending your time feeling stuck–feeling like if you just love enough or pray enough then either your husband or God will give you the bliss you’ve dreamed of.

That’s a little manipulative.

It’s saying: I’ll be loving to get him to change. I’ll pray to get my husband to change.

What if you’re the one who has to change?

Why Should I Have to Change?

I don’t mean you have to become a doormat. Quite the opposite!

If you’re in a good marriage, that’s wonderful! I am, too. But it can always be better. And in this book I show you how our thought patterns can make us stuck in a good marriage–instead of a great one!

But if you’re in a difficult marriage, that’s all the more reason to start changing the way you think about marriage–and changing the way you think about your ability to change things.

Who will benefit from 9 Thoughts?

Newlyweds who want to start off well!

9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage will help you troubleshoot potential issues down the road now, so you can work preemptively to avoid marriage problems later!

Couples Who Are Stuck in a Rut

Whether your marriage has become “blah” or you feel like you’ve been in the same fight over and over again with no hope of improvement, 9 Thoughts will help you get out of that negative cycle. Figure out why your conflict isn’t getting resolved, and bring back that joy to your marriage!

Wives who are struggling with a husband’s sin and see no real solution 

Are you and your husband dealing with something big, and none of the typical marriage advice has been helping? Does it seem overwhelming, like there’s no hope? 9 Thoughts provides outside-the-box thinking on big issues to help you finally break through.

What are you waiting for?

What do your favorite authors think of 9 Thoughts?

In this lively and engaging book, Sheila doesn’t just explode cultural myths about marriage and relationship and replace them with biblical truth; she also provides ultrapractical tasks for wives to apply to every bit of their new knowledge. I love the emphasis on working on yourself first, rather than trying to change your spouse. Way to go, Sheila!
Shaunti Feldman

Social Researcher and Best-Selling Author of "For Women Only"

What a wonderful book! Sheila has such a delightful writing style that you forget you’re learning so much. The teaching points are inspiring, and the action steps truly can be marriage-transforming. Many readers will particularly appreciate Sheila’s delightful way of challenging conventional wisdom as she offers freshly applied biblical wisdom. One of the best things you can do for your spouse, your children, and your own happiness and contentment in the coming year is to read and apply Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage.
Gary Thomas

Author of "Sacred Marriage" and "A Lifelong Love"

In my research with happy marriages, I’ve found that happy wives have one thing in common: they know that happiness doesn’t just happen. Sheila gives great ideas that challenge our conventional thinking about what goes into a happy marriage–and she nails it! Here’s to a new generation of happy wives.
Fawn Weaver

New York Times best-selling author of Happy Wives Club

Your marriage was meant to be more. Don’t settle for less.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the 9 thoughts, anyway?
Want a sneak peek of what you’ll be getting with 9 Thoughts? Here’s a bit about each of the thoughts:

Thought 1: My Husband Is My Neighbor

Thought 2: My Husband Can’t Make Me Mad

Thought 3: My Husband Was Not Put on This Earth to Make Me Happy

Thought 4: I Can’t Mold My Husband into My Image

Thought 5: I’m Not in Competition With My Husband

Thought 6: I’m Called to Be a Peacemaker, Not a Peacekeeper

Thought 7: Being One Is More Important Than being Right

Thought 8Having Sex Is Not the Same as Making Love

Thought 9: If I’m Not Careful, We’ll Drift Apart

Check it out!

Did you know that there's a FREE Bible study that goes along with the book?
Looking for a book study to do with a women’s group, or on your own? 

I created a free book study and devotional centered around 9 Thoughts. That’s right. It’s free. It comes with videos and discussion questions for each chapter, together with biblical discussion around each of the points.

I wanted to make this study completely free so that you get the most bang for your buck with this book. I truly believe that these thoughts have the possibility to completely transform your relationship, and using this study alongside reading the book will help you work through these thoughts on a deeper level.

Check out the course here!Check out the book here!


Is it available in paperback or ebook version?
9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage is available in paperback AND ebook versions. 

Both can be found on Amazon. You can order the traditional paperback, and Amazon offers a kindle version of the book. If you’re interested in the ebook version, but you don’t have a kindle, you can still read it online on the Amazon Reader!

Check out the book here!


Where else can I buy the book?

You can purchase the book in the following places:




Chapters Indigo




Tired of pat answers?

9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage is for you!