Why are so many evangelical authors trying to convince married women not to have sexual boundaries? In episode 260 of the Bare Marriage podcast, that dropped last week, Rebecca and I had one of my favourite convos so far, when we looked at how too many evangelical...
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What Should Men Struggling with Lust Do Other than “Bouncing Your Eyes”?
What if a guy is struggling with lust, but honestly wants to do better? But at the same time, he finds that when he’s out in public, he DOES immediately focus on women’s body parts or imagine them naked. He doesn’t want to. He’s in counseling. He’s trying to stop it....
The Evangelical Sex Report Card
What quality of sex do evangelical couples tend to have? This was one of the questions that we set out to answer when we launched our ground-breaking survey to 20,000 married evangelical women and our followup survey with 3000 evangelical men. We used the data from...
How Do I tell My Husband I’ve Never Enjoyed Sex?
What do you do if you've never enjoyed sex--but you've been having it anyway? What if you've been married for years but sex has never felt great, but you've been "fulfilling his needs." And now you're getting tired of it and you want that to change? Or what if you've...
Are You Trying to Reach Orgasm Backwards?
Maybe orgasm is elusive because we're going about it wrong. I’m pretty sure that when most people start The Orgasm Course, they’re going to head right to Module 4. That’s where we talk about sexual technique and how to figure out arousal and orgasm. That’s where we go...
PODCAST: All About Orgasms–and Closing that Gap!
It's time to talk about orgasms! We spend a lot of time on the Bare Marriage podcast and blog talking about what's gone WRONG in evangelical teaching. But we also want to teach how to make things go right. Four years ago, after we had finished our research for The...
5 Ways Husbands Can Bridge the “Orgasm Gap”
Hi, everyone! This week we're talking about orgasm--because it matters! We spend a lot of time on the blog talking about where teaching has gone wrong and made our marriages and sex lives worse. But we've also created a ton of content, including courses, that teach...
All About Orgasms!
I think it's time to talk more about orgasm! We spend a lot of time at Bare Marriage showing how BAD teaching can lead us to really bad outcomes--no sexual pleasure; distance in marriage; even sexual pain. But we don't just want to show you what can mess you up. We...
What Do the “Obligation Sex Message” and the “All Men Lust” Message Have in Common?
What if there's a thread running through obligation sex and normalizing men's lust? Or rather, what if there are multiple threads? When we wrote The Great Sex Rescue, based on our surveys of 20,000 women, we identified four big teachings about sex that are common in...
Should Engaged Couples Commit to a Certain Frequency of Sex Once They’re Married?
Sheila here! Recently I saw a great post on Instagram by my friend Shari Smith, who handles a lot of my social media behind the scenes (she’s been a big help with my Facebook page getting hacked this week–PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow our new page!). Shari wrote a...
How the Conversation about Lust Has Changed in Seven Years
Seven summers ago I told the truth about lust for the first time. I broke with the program. Up until then, my main focus on the blog had been how to have a good marriage and how to have a good sex life. But in June of 2017, I wrote a week on the blog about the...
Libido vs. Thanatos When It Comes to Sex
Every Friday, around 42,000 people receive our weekly email, linking to all of this week’s posts and podcasts, with a summary, so people can make sure they don’t miss anything they’re interested in. The email is written by Rebecca–not me. And these are often just...
Why Do People Have Affairs? New Research!
This new research about cheating is fascinating. It was published online just on Tuesday, and I've already incorporated it into the marriage book we're editing right now that's due at the publishers next week! But listen to this:The evidence from this study exposes...