What if there's a thread running through obligation sex and normalizing men's lust? Or rather, what if there are multiple threads? When we wrote The Great Sex Rescue, based on our surveys of 20,000 women, we identified four big teachings about sex that are common in...
Sheila here! Recently I saw a great post on Instagram by my friend Shari Smith, who handles a lot of my social media behind the scenes (she’s been a big help with my Facebook page getting hacked this week–PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow our new page!). Shari wrote a...
Seven summers ago I told the truth about lust for the first time. I broke with the program. Up until then, my main focus on the blog had been how to have a good marriage and how to have a good sex life. But in June of 2017, I wrote a week on the blog about the...
Every Friday, around 42,000 people receive our weekly email, linking to all of this week’s posts and podcasts, with a summary, so people can make sure they don’t miss anything they’re interested in. The email is written by Rebecca–not me. And these are often just...
This new research about cheating is fascinating. It was published online just on Tuesday, and I've already incorporated it into the marriage book we're editing right now that's due at the publishers next week! But listen to this:The evidence from this study exposes...
What’s the real reason many women don’t want sex? Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines: without obligation, obviously, women...
When men reveal they objectify women–treat those men accordingly. One of the things that shocks me about evangelical culture is that a man can reveal that he has a really low view of women, or that he objectifies women or blames them for men’s sin, and that doesn’t...
Do men naturally know more about sex than women? On a recent Facebook post, still deeply bothered by that infamous clip from Josh Howerton, I asked this question, “Do we think men "naturally" know more about sex than women do? And that men are equipped to teach...
When people say they “don’t want” sex tonight, what do they mean? We talked about this on the Bare Marriage podcast last week, but I'd like to elaborate on part of it today. I think we often get confused when people talk about this. They’ll say,“Well, sometimes I have...
"So you think it's okay if women just don't have sex, then?" Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines--without obligation,...
What happens to your ability to orgasm after menopause? In the last few months I’ve talked to three women in my social circle who say that orgasm has completely stopped once they started menopause, though it was pretty easy before. For one woman it’s been ten years...
A healthy vagina is lubricated, supple, and elastic. It's supposed to be able to stretch (for obvious reasons, like both penetrative sex and childbirth), but then it's also supposed to go back into place afterwards. It's supposed to get lubricated and stay at least a...
Is sex really painful the first time? That’s one of the most common questions I get asked from engaged women waiting for the wedding night. How much is going to hurt? What should I expect? This month I’m going to look at some “myths” that we often have around sex....
This week The Good Guy’s Guide and Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex Turn 2! Two years ago, these two books launched. I wrote the original Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex in 2012, and Zondervan contracted with Keith and me to write a companion guy’s version, to come out...
The 72 Hour Rule is Made Up by Evangelical Authors. Yep. This month on the blog we're "fact checking" common sex beliefs, and one of the biggest ones in evangelical circles is the 72 hour rule: the idea that a wife must have sex with her husband every 72 hours,...