It's the podcast where we finally get to disprove the love & respect thesis! Did God make men to need respect, while women need love? Do men prefer respect over love? We've been told this for decades, starting with James Dobson popularizing it, and then Emerson...
When evangelical teachers say “men need respect”, what do they mean? On both Facebook and Threads, I posted this question:“Men have a unique, God-given need for respect.” When evangelical leaders teach this in regards to marriage, what, practically, are they saying...
Focus on the Family thinks life was better in 1964. You know, when many minorities in the U.S. had few civil rights. When women couldn't leave abusive husbands. When women couldn't get credit in their own name, or get a mortgage. That was better! When Rebecca and I...
Why did we all get sucked in to toxic teachings about sex and marriage? Because here's the thing: Unless we understand the why, then even if we leave those toxic teachings behind, it's very likely that we'll get sucked into other forms of toxic teachings about...
For years, we've been showing how the vast majority of Christian marriage books contain toxic teachings. It started with us reading Love & Respect, and seeing how terrible the sex advice was. When the powers that be ignored us when we tried to bring up concerns...
Vashti is an often-forgotten woman from the Old Testament. I love the Bible because it’s filled with stories–heroes and villains; kings and peasants; rulers and prophets. And often the Bible leaves us with stories without giving any commentary on them. We’re supposed...
She wanted to follow God and be a good complementarian wife. But after a few years it all fell apart! Before I jump into our story, a few definitions. Complementarianism is the belief that God created men to be in authority over women, in the church and the home (some...
Let's celebrate being a woman who loves God! I've been following the Her Cherch account on Instagram for a while, and she has awesome cartoons that cut to the heart of so much of what we talk about here on Bare Marriage! The artist is Marcia Takasaki, and we've been...
What happens when a charismatic man with no qualifications starts a marriage ministry? You end up with a book that sounds like he wants the best for people--but gives completely unhelpful, and often very harmful, advice. Today Keith and I are taking a deep dive into...
One of the things we’re passionate about on this blog is making sure the self-help and relationship advice in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...
We've figured out our biggest problem. Recently I was talking with a young couple who got married after having done everything "right." They thought marriage would be easy; instead, sex was the hardest part of their lives. She felt objectified; he felt rejected; and...
So many people want a Bible that reflects God’s heart for honouring and respecting women. But with so many Bibles offering biased translation work that elevates men over women, it can be hard to decide on which Bible is the best one to learn from. With Christmas...
There's been a horrible meme circulating about how God used David--so we should rejoice when God uses evil men. I've seen it myself; it's been shared and debated in our Patreon group; and so many of you have sent it to me. While it does have immediate American...
Is Divorce and Remarriage Permitted in Cases of Abuse? So many people ask for a robust Biblical investigation into whether divorce is allowed in cases of abuse, and considering how so much of the evangelical church treats divorce as an almost unforgivable sin, it’s a...
We don't have to accept pastors demonizing little girls. Recently, I was sent a clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go looking for these. Josh Howerton, you may remember, is the same megachurch pastor who told women to “stand where...