Recently, I received a question from a reader about how to find a good counselor“I really need help knowing how to find the right kind of counselor. We have one but he is caught up in the traditional Christian stuff about men's problems being lost etc. I'm also...
Our new marriage book is available for pre-order! The Marriage You Want is out in six months! But you can pre-order it now!For years, one of the most frustrating emails I’ve gotten is someone asking for a recommendation for a marriage book. And I haven’t had anything...
Remember Bill Clinton and it depends on the definition of "is"? In the 90s, in the middle of the Monica Lewinsky scandal (which, in retrospect, is so full of uneven power dynamics), Bill Clinton denied having an affair based on a silly definition. And, because of...
Sheila here! Last week, Bethany Jantzi joined us on the Bare Marriage podcast to talk about how the elements of coercive control are actually found in the marital dynamics that so much of our evangelical marriage advice creates. Which is horrifying! At the end of the...
Jesus would never have called a child an “enemy.” Yet that’s exactly what Josh Howerton did in a sermon on August 11, when he was telling men to fight for their families. I was sent this clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go...
Does abuse show up more in complementarian circles? If you missed episode 246 of the Bare Marriage podcast, you missed out on a great one (and I highly recommend going back to listen when you have a chance!). I had the privilege of sitting down with Bethany Jantzi....
Sheila here! Recently I saw a great post on Instagram by my friend Shari Smith, who handles a lot of my social media behind the scenes (she’s been a big help with my Facebook page getting hacked this week–PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow our new page!). Shari wrote a...
What if evangelical marriage advice actually mimics coercive control? A few months ago I was emailed by Bethany Jantzi when I started talking about The Excellent Wife online. She had just done her dissertation on how The Excellent Wife actually has the same advice and...
The Excellent Wife is a horribly depressing book to read. It was profoundly heavy and sad. When I started writing these onesheets, they didn’t really affect me that much. Most of the books I was going to be reading were ones I had read already, or were ones I had read...
There are few books as harmful to women as The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of...
ONE OF THE THINGS WE’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ON THIS BLOG IS MAKING SURE THE SELF-HELP AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IN THE EVANGELICAL WORLD IS HEALTHY. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...
What happens to your marriage when you get dragged into fundamentalism? Tia Levings went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from...
Four months ago I had never heard of Ballerina Farm. When someone–I think my oldest daughter–told me about her social media account, I still couldn’t understand the name. It’s a farm for ballerinas? But as I’ve been hearing more and more about trad wife content,...
A few months ago, I went viral on Twitter when I shared that atrocious clip of Josh Howerton telling women to "do what he tells you to do" on "his" wedding night. Many of Howerton's supporters, and Howerton himself, said it was "just a joke." Sam Jolman, who was on...
At the end of April, Mica Miller died in very suspicious circumstances. She had been married to pastor JP Miller, and there were what look to me like credible allegations of abuse. She had been asking people for help, and had recently filed for divorce and a...