What does immaturity have to do with complementarianism? We had a hard time trying to figure out what to call this episode, because we didn't want to be TOO controversial--but at the same time, the findings were super interesting. When we looked at the data from our...
I’ve spent years trying to untangle the Christian marriage advice puzzle. When we started researching the best-selling marriage books when we were writing The Great Sex Rescue, we found, to our dismay, that the majority of them ended up giving really bad advice, that...
Is it a "love language" to do basic chores? When we wrote The Great Sex Rescue, one of the things that really bothered us was that evangelical marriage authors talked a ton about increasing the frequency of sex without ever mentioning the orgasm gap or sexual pain...
Our gendered teachings in the church can make it difficult for men to communicate directly with their wives, too. We're in the middle of our direct communication series, looking at why it's hard to communicate directly, what direct communication looks like, and more....
Do gendered teachings in the church make direct communication harder? We're in the middle of our series on direct communication--why direct communication is hard; what direct communication looks like; why direct communication feels mean, but isn't. Today and tomorrow...
When you start asking for things directly, it can feel like you're being really mean. But what if the opposite is true? What if speaking directly is actually a way to be kind? We're at the start of our direct communication series this month on the blog, and we've...
What does direct communication look like? And what ISN'T direct communication? This month our series will focus on direct communication in marriage: How to state your feelings and thoughts clearly, without beating around the bush. And how to listen effectively to your...
We've all heard the trope that men need respect while women need love. It's in the best-selling book Love & Respect, which I have critiqued copiously. And as we pointed out in a podcast on the problems with unconditional respect, the whole foundation for the "men...
Married couples need to have some fun together! And one of the best ways to do that is to find hobbies to do as a couple. We've had some heavy weeks at To Love, Honor and Vacuum lately, and so I thought it was time to revisit one of my favourite posts ever and run it...
"How do I reconnect with my husband?" That's a question I get in various forms from so many of you who email. Life has gotten too busy, you feel like you pass like ships in the night, and you just want to feel like you know each other again. As we're launching a new...
Growing in emotional maturity is largely about being able to comfortably go to deeper levels of communication. So many readers write to me saying that they find it so hard to connect with their spouse. One reader recently, for instance, said this:We have been married...
How do you become more emotionally mature? We're in the middle of our series on emotional maturity. We've looked at what emotional maturity is, and how sometimes people use "God language" to avoid emotional maturity. We've looked at what to do if your spouse is...
Do you long for deeper emotional connection with your spouse? We've been talking a bit this week about how emotional connection is a prerequisite for great sex, and how sex can feed emotional connection, but it cannot completely replace it. We do need to feel "known."...
What happens when you find out your husband is on the autism spectrum? We used to call it Asperger's (like what Sheldon has on The Big Bang Theory). But now the correct term is high functioning autism spectrum. And it has a big impact on marriage!Recently I was...
What do you do for a honeymoon at home when coronavirus has left you stranded? We were talking last Friday about the people whose lives have been really affected by COVID-19--even if it's just in disappointments, and not in horrendous things. Obviously the people for...