We can change the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage.
Let’s say that with the proper emphasis:
We CAN change the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage. Or even:
WE can change the evangelical conversation about sex and marriage.
That’s really what we’ve been trying to do for four years now, since we started our series on Love & Respect, pointing out how harmful that book is. That’s why we did our huge studies of over 32,000 people now, culminating in The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better.
We take Jesus at His word when He says that a bad tree can’t bear good fruit, and a good tree can’t bear bad fruit. So we’re measuring the fruit, and what we’re finding is that a lot of teachings about sex and marriage in the evangelical church lead to rotten fruit. This doesn’t mean that believing in God leads to rotten fruit (indeed, the opposite is the case), but as soon as you internalize toxic teachings? Terrible things happen.
So we need to start teaching in a healthy way, focusing on agency for women; not holding women responsible for men’s sins and teaching about sex as something that is MUTUAL, INTIMATE, and PLEASURABLE FOR BOTH.
We’ve done our best to spread the word.
But now we need your help.
At the individual level, at the church level, people need to speak up. I received this email recently:
I went to a retreat this weekend and at the end was given a suggested book list. Love and Respect was on it. I brought it to the attention of those running the event of the damage this book has done and that there is ongoing research to support its harm. They were taken aback and told me they absolutely would look into it as they would never want to recommend a book that could cause abuse. I believe this is going to be looked into and I hope to see it no longer on the list at the next retreat. I plan to stay on top of it. Just to say- thank you so much for what you’re doing. It’s essential.
I’m glad I could be of help. But I’m even more glad that this woman saw a problem–and then she spoke up!
I know speaking up can be scary.
You don’t know what to say. You don’t know who to say it to. You’re not sure how you’ll be received. Well, I want to make that easier.
Next Wednesday, June 21, at 9 pm EST, I’m hosting a FREE webinar–“New Wineskins”--where I’ll walk you through how to spread the word about our research and how to talk to people about toxic teachings.
I’ll start with 20 minutes on how to raise the issue; then I’ll have a presentation going over our findings; and then we’ll have a Q&A.
I would absolutely love to see you all there!
You can sign up right here:
You’ll have access to the recording for 72 hours afterwards, so even if you can’t make it at the time, please sign up and you can listen later!
I want to help you understand how to talk to others.
I’ll show you what our findings are, in a nutshell. I’ll give you the talking points that you can use with friends, your pastor, your church librarian, your small group leader, and more. It’s also a great one to listen to with your spouse or your best friend if you’ve been trying to explain why our findings are important, but they just don’t get it.
Together, we can change the conversation. We can make the church healthy again. We can call the church back to the abundant life Christ promised us.
I hope to see you there!
Is there anything you specifically want me to cover? Leave a comment and let’s talk!