Recent Posts
PODCAST: What the Unfairness Threshold Tells us About Marriage (And Mental Load!)
What if there's a Bigger problem in marriage than sex or money? We always hear that the two biggest issues in marriage are sex and money, right? Wrong. One of our findings in our matched pair survey for our new book The Marriage You Want (out March 11!) that blew us...
Should Marriage Make You Holy or Happy?
Is marriage primarily about teaching you to be selfless and to grow like Jesus through suffering? I hope you would all say a resounding, “no!” We know that God thinks of marriage for our benefit–our emotional benefit, not just our character-transforming benefit. He...
How Do We Judge a Tree by Its Fruit with Marriage Advice?
How exactly do we judge something by its fruit? One of the things we’re adamant about here at Bare Marriage is the concept of “evidence-based” and “healthy” advice–meaning that you can judge things by their fruit. If we’re going to figure out if a teaching is healthy...
PODCAST: Should You Choose Between Being a Good Wife and a Good Mom? And why Date Nights Aren’t Always the Answer
Is being a good wife in conflict with being a good mom? And what does it look like to prioritize your marriage? Episode 270 of Bare Marriage!
Expectations in Marriage: 4 Things You Should Expect from Your Spouse
Is it wrong to have expectations in marriage? On Monday on the blog (and last Friday on Substack--are you following me there yet?) I was talking about entitlement in marriage, and how we found that to be the biggest marriage killer. (You can read all about it in our...
He’d Die for You. But Will He Do the Dishes?
"The husband has to be prepared to die for his wife." One of the most bizarre arguments defending men being in authority over women is the idea that one day, he may have to take a bullet for you. A husband has to be prepared to die for his wife, but God doesn’t ask...
PODCAST: The Marriage Hierarchy of Needs–and Why Compromise Often Backfires
If you're in conflict, you just compromise, right? Well, not necessarily! Here's the thing: compromise only works if you're starting from an even playing field. If one of you is bearing significantly more of the load for the relationship, then it's not about each of...
What’s the Difference Between a “Christian Marriage” and a Good Marriage?
How do you have a Christian marriage? And is a healthy Christian marriage different from a healthy marriage of two non-Christians? A woman wrote in asking:You guys do a wonderful job showing what biblical marriage is NOT but sometimes I’d love just a clear and concise...
Why Complementarianism Is Part of the Bad Outcomes Package for Marriage
Does complementarianism lead to good marriage outcomes? I'm going to answer that question in this post, but I want you to keep something in the back of your head as you're reading this. One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t...
PODCAST: Why Teamwork Works Better Than Hierarchy
When it comes to marriage, teamwork is associated with all the good stuff! Hierarchy, on the other hand, is associated with all the bad stuff. We explain today on the Bare Marriage podcast some of our biggest picture findings in The Marriage You Want, and how we...