The 72 Hour Rule is Made Up by Evangelical Authors. Yep. This month on the blog we're "fact checking" common sex beliefs, and one of the biggest ones in evangelical circles is the 72 hour rule: the idea that a wife must have sex with her husband every 72 hours,...
What happens to women’s desire level if their husbands don’t do housework? This month, our series on the blog is going to focus on some new studies that have recently been published in peer reviewed journals. We like keeping up with research, and we shared four new...
Everyday I get emails, comments, and DMs about how our books are changing lives. Before we wrote The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves Better I had written several other books. But the reaction is so starkly different. I’m hearing over and over again about lives...
I'd like to begin a longer, ongoing conversation today about arousal non-concordance. To begin, a quick story. As a teen I always won the game Balderdash. Remember that game? You get a bizarre weird word, and everyone has to make up a definition for it, and then you...
The "All men struggle with lust" message is a toxic one. On Tuesday I don't write blog posts anymore--but I published something on Facebook this morning that I thought I'd move over here as well! Yesterday I asked in my Instagram stories how the "All men struggle with...
I've often said that the higher drive wife carries a lot of burdens that other permutations of libido do not. It can be very difficult to be a husband married to a woman who doesn't want sex, but at least that's culturally expected. As a woman, we grow up hearing how...
The way we feel about our bodies can cause our libido to crater. And when you feel schlubby (I love that word!), it's hard to want to get it on. I get the best stuff sent to me from readers, and last week a reader passed along an article from the Wall Street Journal...
Last week we were talking about how neuroscience does NOT say that men and women are different species when it comes to sex. Rebecca and Connor talked on the Bare Marriage podcast last week about how we've been told by many evangelical authors that neuroscience shows...
How do you know if a book is using junk science to prove a point? I thought I'd combine last week's podcast on a DIY test to see if Christian books are harmful or helpful and this week's podcast on the problems with the way that far too many Christian resources misuse...
What do you do if your spouse isn't interested in sex? Often when I write about how to spice things up in the bedroom, or how to make sex more fun, the emails start to arrive: What do I do if my husband doesn't want to have sex? What do I do if my wife won't read this...
What do you do if your husband doesn't want to make love? That's such a lonely place to be in a marriage--but it's far more common than we might normally think. When we were conducting the research for our book The Great Sex Rescue, we asked 20,000 women who had the...
How did different eras in time treat sex? I'd like to spend April doing some romps through history looking at how we've seen libido, the role of sex in marriage and culture, women's sexuality, and more. Sometimes we get to assuming that our way of thinking about sex...
When we talk about people's "sexual needs", are we muddying the waters? Happy Monday, everyone! Hope you all had a good weekend and a lovely Valentine's Day. I'm in the final crunch to get the manuscript for The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex in at the publisher, and...
If we believe that men are insatiable sex machines who will want and need sex everyday, what happens when we marry and wives find their husbands are just human? This week, on our Bare Marriage podcast, we talked with Rachel Joy Welcher about her book Talking Back to...
I wonder: since we've grown up believing so much that men want sex all the time, then when he doesn't initiate sex, do women feel rejected? I'm not talking about the rejection that higher drive wives feel (that's real, and that's difficult, and I've got a series on...