When men reveal they objectify women–treat those men accordingly. One of the things that shocks me about evangelical culture is that a man can reveal that he has a really low view of women, or that he objectifies women or blames them for men’s sin, and that doesn’t...
All the Latest from "Pornography"
Older posts from "Pornography"
What If All the Men Around You Have Lust Problems?
Please hear me on this: Not all men have lust problems. In fact, while it may be common, it is not what you'd call "normal", where we should just expect it to happen, and if guys don't have lust problems, they're unusual unicorns. Lust is saying:What Lust Says: "when...
You Don’t Need to Objectify Women to Identify with Those Fighting Lust
I’ve had some interesting discussions about how I’m shaming men with sex addictions by calling out the language Every Man’s Battle uses about women. This week we published our one sheet downloadwith the summary of issues with Every Man’s Battle (we also have one for...
Why Is a Christian Book Trying to Coerce Wives into Sending Nude Photos?
Christian leaders should not be trying to convince women to send nude photos. This doesn't seem like it should even have to be said, but earlier this week I put up a Fixed It for You of Gary Thomas' and Debra Fileta's book Married Sex, which had this sentence: Here's...
PODCAST: Unwanted Sexual Behaviors and What To Do About Them (with Jay Stringer)
Is there hope for recovery for unwanted sexual behaviors, fantasies, or compulsions? I've been wanting to do this podcast for ages! I love Jay Stringer's book Unwanted, and we've connected behind the scenes a bit over the last few months, talking about our respective...
Is she dressing for attention–or is he? A New Research Deep Dive!
How many of us have heard a grown man grumble about what a teenager is wearing, saying “She knows what she’s doing”? Rebecca here on the blog, bringing you another dose of data from new research we haven’t reviewed on the blog yet! This one is super interesting, and...
Is “All Men Struggle with Lust” a Primal Fear?
What if the "all men struggle with lust" message is coloring how we see life? We're in the middle of our New Research series on the Bare Marriage blog, where we talk about some interesting studies that have come out with relevance to marriage, sex, and more. Recently...
MARRIAGE MISDIAGNOSIS: It Takes Two to Tango–But Only One to Torture
We're in the middle of our Marriage Misdiagnosis series, talking about how often the church misdiagnoses the problems in marriage--and so offers the wrong solutions. Last week we looked at how often people are pressured to reconcile before trust has been rebuilt....
2 Things Pastors Should Never Say
I do not believe that pastors need to be perfect. I absolutely believe that all of us are works in progress, and that we will always have areas where we need to grow. And I think it's a good idea, in general, for pastors to admit when they're still growing or where...
What if Your Husband’s a Missionary or Pastor and He’s Using Porn?
What do you do when your husband is in the ministry and you catch him using porn? I wrote about this years ago, and wasn't planning on writing about it again, but last night I had this overwhelming urge to post this on Facebook:If you are married to someone in...
10 Ways Hollywood Warps our Expectations about Sex
Has Hollywood totally messed up our sex lives? I talk a lot about how evangelical teaching has messed up our expectations around sex. But let's face it--a lot of those expectations are in movies and shows, too!Behind the scenes at the blog we're getting ready to move...
PODCAST: The Porn Triage–How to Tell How Likely Recovery Will Be
Can we have a nuanced discussion about porn and the likelihood of recovery? One of our goals for what we do is to help people have "informed consent"--in other words, before they make a decision, they need to know all the facts. We can't be afraid of data and...
How Many Christian Men Are Sexually Safe Husbands?
How many Christian husbands see sex in a healthy way? We know that sexual sin, and porn use, and objectification of women are rampant. But it's not everywhere. So how many guys aren't affected by this? In February and March I'm posting several "number of the day"...