What happens to your ability to orgasm after menopause? In the last few months I’ve talked to three women in my social circle who say that orgasm has completely stopped once they started menopause, though it was pretty easy before. For one woman it’s been ten years...
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What If Sex Is Like Going out to Dinner?
This week The Good Guy’s Guide and Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex Turn 2! Two years ago, these two books launched. I wrote the original Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex in 2012, and Zondervan contracted with Keith and me to write a companion guy’s version, to come out...
What Church You Go To Affects Orgasm Rates!
We’ve got some new findings from our survey of 20,000 women! Behind the scenes, for the last year, between running new numbers for blog posts and podcasts, and presenting at conferences, Joanna Sawatsky (my amazing co-author for The Great Sex Rescue and She Deserves...
Male-Centric Sex: Confusing Willingness to Have Intercourse with Arousal
You can definitely tell if a woman is aroused. But what if some marriage authors or teachers don’t understand the difference between a woman being willing to have sex and a woman being aroused? Too often, teaching around marriage and sexuality centres the male...
PODCAST: Male-Centric Sex vs. The Sexual Response Cycle
What if the sex that is being described by many male authors is actually male-centric? What if the way they're talking about sex actually hints that it's not about her pleasure at all, but is simply focused on his climax during intercourse? That's what we think is...
When He Deliberately Ignores Your Pleasure: What to Do When Sex Has Become One-Sided
Sex must be mutual, about both people’s pleasure. What if he insists on sex that doesn’t bring her pleasure, and doesn’t try to help her reach orgasm?
RESEARCH DEEP DIVE: How does a couple’s FIRST TIME affect her LIBIDO?
What if women don’t naturally want sex less than men do? Rebecca here again on the blog with another study for you! Researchers from the University of Toronto have come out with really interesting research about what impacts women’s enjoyment of sex. Note from...
PODCAST: Should Pastors Give Sex Advice?
What happens when pastors give sex advice, but they aren't trained to do so? This week's podcast we're talking about a big question: is it ever useful to expect pastors to give specific sex advice? What is a part of the pastor's job, and what simply isn't? If you want...
Amazing News About Great Sex Rescue–The Tide is Turning!
You guys! Guess what happened! Christianity Today actually covered The Great Sex Rescue--and it was phenomenal! A few weeks ago, just after we recorded the podcast about how the authors we critique have been either ignoring us or doubling down and saying awful things,...
Do Conservative Evangelicals Have Better Sex and Less Abuse? Our Response to Josh Howerton
I've got an awesome example of how stats can be misused today! And why it's important when we hear someone who isn't trained in statistics using studies to "prove" their point, when the point sounds like a stretch, to actually check their sources. In February, Dallas...
Sexual Pleasure: Why Equality of Effort Won’t Get Us There
Just a super quick post today on why "equality" sometimes misses the boat when it comes to sexual pleasure. I use Tuesdays either to take a day off from writing the blog, or to share something super quick that's on my mind and I just want to write it out. I'm hoping...
You Don’t Have to Say Yes to Selfish Sex
God does not ask us to consent to selfish sex. In fact, one-sided intercourse is not sex. I can summarize The Great Sex Rescue by saying that sex is supposed to be MUTUAL, INTIMATE, and PLEASURABLE FOR BOTH. That's what God intended. Sex is not merely intercourse...
What Happens when Men Believe the Obligation Sex Message?
The most damaging belief we found on our survey of 20,000 women was the obligation sex message. Getting married believing that a wife was obligated to give her husband sex when he wanted it resulted in much higher rates of sexual pain, lower orgasm rates, and lower...