Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
Does Waiting for Marriage for Sex Increase the Chance for Painful Sex?
Does waiting for marriage for sex increase sexual pain disorders? In short, yes. We found this in our survey of 20,000 women for our book The Great Sex Rescue, and we've been trying to raise awareness of this for quite a while. We know that pelvic floor...
PODCAST: What We Uncovered Making the Love & Respect Docuseries
The Love & Respect Docuseries has been a long time in the making! While Rebecca and Joanna have been working nonstop for the last few months, it's also been in the back of our minds for years. We wanted to do something definitive on the book, after trying...
Love & Respect Part 3: When Hurt People Hurt People
Pastors should not be writing books until they've dealt with their trauma. And even then, they shouldn't write the book based on how they dealt with their trauma. They should write it based on peer reviewed research, because one person's experience may be the...
Why You Can’t Say: “This Advice Isn’t Meant for Those in Abusive Marriages”
Thank you to Zondervan and the book To Heal or Harm for sponsoring this post Often when we point out advice is harmful people respond with "but it's not meant for abusive marriages!" The implication is that those who are abused should realize that this book or video...
PODCAST: Bad Stats, Editing the Bible, and Recycling 1970s Ideas: A Love & Respect Deep Dive Part 2
What if Love & Respect is Based on a Faulty Foundation? Love & Respect is based on shoddy data; misrepresented research; edited Bible verses--and it's copied from a 1970s bestseller to boot! Yep. This whole concept which was supposedly Emerson Eggerichs'...
Hebrews 13:17: What to Do When Pastors Weaponize Scripture To Say You Must Obey Them
How did we get to the point where Scripture is so easily weaponized? Thank you to Zondervan for sponsoring this post. I mean, I suppose it always has been. That's one of the things Jesus railed against the religious leaders for, and that the prophets railed against...
In the Love & Respect World, Isn’t the Wife ACTUALLY The Leader?
How did people fall for Love & Respect? Emerson Eggerichs' 2004 best-selling marriage book is honestly one of the worst books I've ever read. It's badly researched. It messed up stats. It states bizarre opinions as if they are common sense. It gets the Bible...
PODCAST: Happily Never After–The Curious Case of Love and Respect
If Love & Respect is a Multiverse, Then This is Our Endgame Excuse the Marvel reference. I know it has been years since those superhero movies were cool. We’ve been talking since before Avengers: Endgame released about the problems with the book Love and Respect....
Why Emerson Eggerichs’ Love & Respect Presents an Unworkable Dichotomy
It's impossible for Emerson Eggerichs' ideas in Love & Respect to work in practice. Because what he tells men to do and what he tells women to do are completely and utterly mutually exclusive. So something will have to give. And in Eggerichs' world, that's always...