Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
What If “Keeping the Peace” Hurts Long-Term?
What if keeping the peace seems safer--but it's actually riskier long-term?Sheila here! Those of you who read the blog regularly, and who follow me on social media, see a lot of my thoughts. But did you know that Rebecca writes the Friday emails that go out to our...
Revisiting Complementarianism and Authoritarianism in Light of Minneapolis
In January of 1994 I went to see Schindler's list in movie theatres. About two hours after watching it I had a miscarriage, losing my first pregnancy. I've always thought somehow the horror of that movie and the miscarriage were linked. One of the scenes that has...
PODCAST: The Complementarian Bar for Men is in the Basement
One of the things that amazes me is that so little is expected of complementarian men. The last few weeks has shown us that in spades, as so many pastors reacted to Philip Yancey's affair by saying, "It could have been any of us," and SBC megachurch pastor Jonathan...
Reading Ephesians 5:21-23 Through Paul’s New-Creation Ethic: An Academic Essay by Liana Cavanaugh
A scholarly look at Ephesians 5 shows that egalitarianism was baked in. I'm going to do something different today. Recently a woman named Liana Cavanaugh sent me an essay that she wrote for a theology degree that she is taking. I was really impressed with the essay,...
What Should We Do With Pastors Who Struggle with Sexual Sin?
We have a crisis in the evangelical church of pastors normalizing sexual sin and the objectification of women. Late last week I started talking about a horrible Facebook live that SBC megachurch pastor Jonathan Pokluda made, where he admitted he wanted to sleep with...
PODCAST: The Misleading Tactics of Complementarianism feat. Lydia Kaiser
Every now and then a book comes along that is just so succinct and clear about women. And Lydia Kaiser has written a gem of a book in Bible Truth about Women! It's out next month, and I read an early copy, and I'm so excited to share it with you in today's podcast,...
Why Sin Levelling about Infidelity and Betrayal Hurts Women
Too many have been taught horrible theology that sin levels. Believers are supposed to have a God who will comfort them when they are betrayed or abused or abandoned. But so much of our theology turns God into someone who doesn't care about our hurts, and is even mad...
The Terrible Takes on Philip Yancey’s 8-Year Affair
Last week we learned that best-selling and beloved author Philip Yancey confessed to an 8-year affair. He announced in a statement he was stepping back from ministry, as he was now disqualified. His wife Janet issued a statement too saying that she was devastated, but...
PODCAST: Why Marriage Isn’t Like Being on the Back of a Tandem Bike
It's time to analyze some more terrible takes--and work at critical thinking. Rebecca and I wanted to start the new year focusing on our word of the year for 2026--SAFETY--and seeing how so much of what we see on social media in evangelical spaces for women works...