Welcome to our new website!
It looks like you’re trying to find some content that isn’t available anymore. I (Sheila) have been blogging at To Love, Honor and Vacuum since 2008–that’s a lot of blog posts over the years!
As we moved to Bare Marriage, we were picky about what content we brought over. The post you are looking for didn’t make the cut. However, there are still over 900 posts on this website so I am sure you can find something for your situation here!
Here’s where you can search for specific topics, or else see the latest on the blog:
Recent Posts
How Eric and Leslie Ludy Equated the Rape of a 12-Year-Old with “Losing Her Virginity”
Eric and Leslie Ludy completely distort the trauma of sexual assault This husband and wife team (who got together first when he was 21 and she was 16) wrote one of the "Bibles" of purity culture--When God Writes Your Love Story. We talked about it at length in our...
What If There’s More Jesus in Decluttering Shows Than in Some Churches?
Sometimes Jesus shows up in weird places--like cleaning shows. I want to do something different today and let you in a bit on my personal faith reflections. I'm currently on Day 9 of a really bad cold (likely COVID) and my husband is on Day 11 and I think has finally...
PODCAST: How to Vet a Church’s Website to See if They’re Healthy
Can you tell from a church's website if they're healthy? Not necessarily. But you sure can weed out a lot of unhealthy ones! So if you're trying to find a healthy church, we've got a guide for you today. There's a super short, to the point, template for this in...
A Step-By-Step Guide to Vetting a Church’s Website to See if It’s Healthy
Can you tell if a church is healthy using its website? Absolutely! Or at least you can make a pretty good start and eliminate a lot of obviously unhealthy churches. And you can do it in under five minutes! One of the big things we've noticed in our surveys of 40,000...
What I’ve Noticed About Scripture in Evangelical vs. Anglican Churches
I've been thinking about the lectionary this Easter holiday. It's still a holiday here in Canada, and I'll be taking most of the day to relax and recuperate from a cold, but I thought I'd write some thoughts I had after all the services at my Anglican church this...
PODCAST: Why Is Every Man’s Battle So Creepy? Plus Benevolent vs. Hostile Sexism
Every Man's Battle Prioritizes Predators over Victims It's horrifying--and you won't understand how bad it is until you see it with your own eyes. We're doing something different for the podcast this week--out of necessity! We've been running behind since I was...
Why Can’t the Every Man’s Battle Authors Acknowledge Sexual Assault Victims? 2 Horrifying Examples
Steve Arterburn and Fred Stoeker ignore abuse victims in Every Man's Battle. They never talk about the reality of sexual abuse, or acknowledge that a man's lust and sexual behavior can deeply injure women. Instead, they portray the victim when men lust as the man...
NEW RESEARCH: Modesty Messages Groom Boys to Become Predators
Teaching modesty messages makes church more dangerous for teen girls. That's what our newest paper, out in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, shows. It's based on our dataset for our book She Deserves Better, and the lead author on it (Nicole Gallego)...
PODCAST: New Research on Modesty Messages, Sexual Harassment in Church, Plus We Answer Your Questions!
We've got a new research paper on modesty messaging coming out! We've been working behind the scenes on a number of different peer reviewed papers, and we have another one to tell you about today regarding modesty messaging and sexual harassment in church. Plus Keith...