8 Comments

1. 

   A2bbethany on August 19, 2021 at 12:21 pm

   Last night I ended up having the most interesting of conversations with 3(me is #4) other ladies. It was interesting because while 3 of us are married mom’s, the other was about to start college. We just talked about our first experiences/impressions with everything. I really enjoyed hearing their perspectives and journeys. Specifically on how we learned about things, puberty wise. And how our parents handled things.
   I kinda feel like this podcast was a continuation of it, just about faith!

   I enjoyed the conversational touch of the podcast.

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     Sheila Wray Gregoire on August 19, 2021 at 12:26 pm

     Glad you liked it! It is different from our normal ones–we just like to give people a look behind the curtain, so to speak.

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2. 

   Jo on August 19, 2021 at 2:04 pm

   I will no longer by default trust any male leaders in the church, whether pastor, elder, deacon, or teacher, when it comes to women’s place in the home, the church, and society in general.

   Men have had two millennia of playing by a rule book they wrote by isolating a literal handful of verses while ignoring the entire content and message of the rest of the Bible, and then they have also appointed themselves as referees to point out any “infractions,” telling women to sit down and shut up when women deign to not play by those “rules.” Too many leaders think no input from any mere woman is needed in such matters and will therefore ignore women who might dare to have a different opinion. Before any male readers complain that I’m simply looking to women like Sheila, Becca, and Joanna here, plus, among others, Marg Mowczko at her site, because they support my point of view as a woman, I’d like you to ponder very carefully the fact that things have been un-Scripturally stacked in men’s favor (there is no male and female in Christ, don’t lord it over others—even women—like the Gentiles do) for so long that YOU may very well have a decided preference for the “traditional, historical” point of view of women’s place, in spite of lots of evidence that it’s flat-out wrong.

   Call me cynical if you like. But isn’t a cynic, in part at least, someone whose eyes have been opened to reality as it is and not as one might like it to be?

   These teachings have probably ruined forever what could have been a great marriage, because for more than three decades I kept my mouth shut “like I was supposed to,” and we’ve both developed habits of behavior and communication that are going to be extremely difficult to break. So now I’m resigning myself to living with a decent friend who gets “benefits” rather than having an actual, full partner to share life with.

   And I have to disagree with the idea that denominations don’t need to apologize. In far too many cases, they aided and abetted these teachings, whether explicitly or implicitly. It would be a very small consolation indeed, but thousands, even millions, of women would finally get some mental relief that no, they weren’t crazy for wondering why their pastors kept teaching this bilge.

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     EOF on August 19, 2021 at 2:20 pm

     I feel for you. I’ve been married over 2 decades, and the foundation is SET. My husband is not reading any of these books or blog posts.

     Things have improved dramatically, but recently when he was under stress, everything fell back into old patterns. It’s obvious he still, deep down, believes that we’re not equal. That he gets the final say if that’s what he feels like. I’m not to question it. At least when he’s in a bad mood and has no one else to take it out on.

     I’m re-reading Boundaries in Marriage in hopes that it will help. Will continue to fill my mind with healthy messages. Maybe one day I’ll be able to stand up for the truth. I certainly don’t have the skills yet. That much is clear.

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3. 

   EOF on August 19, 2021 at 2:22 pm

   I love the Unfiltered Podcast and the Patreon Facebook group! Everyone who believes in Sheila’s message should join. It’s such a blessing.

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4. 

   Alice on August 19, 2021 at 4:23 pm

   Dear Rebecca and Joanna,

   First of all I just have to apologize for any mistakes that are in this comment. I’m gonna try to edit through it, but I am using voice-to-text right now while putting on my makeup with my six month old rolling around on our living room floor. I know you get that, being young moms and all. 😉

   So I just listened to the podcast episode and I had to comment, because while my experiences are not exactly the same as yours, I certainly can relate with much of what you said. I personally was never bullied by church leadership, but I witnessed a lot of negative behavior from many of the adults that I attended church with.

   I also had a lot of struggles with the particular theology I was taught in a conservative, evangelical, “holiness church” that I attended in the Midwest. When you said that you were taught more that God‘s love for you depended on your performance than about his love for you just as a standalone truth, I was absolutely tracking with you. You put something that has been a lifelong faith struggle for me into such a clear and concise sentence and for that I am so thankful. It truly has been a massive process for me to learn how to live out of a place of being loved instead of striving to earn love. The other big issue for me is that of “you’ll lose your salvation if you sin.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

   While I’m not sure I would use the term “deconstruction” to explain my personal faith journey, there certainly has been a lot of editing, of adding and taking away, and of rearranging the rooms, so to speak. It’s a long process, and I think I have a ways to go yet.

   Your words & honestly were very encouraging! Thank you both.

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5. 

   Anonymous305 on September 2, 2021 at 1:23 am

   I VERY relate to what Joanna said about the pressure to feel like I have to take action on every social issue ever because we’re supposed to be “radical”, “sold out”, and “unselfish”. In college, I felt obligated to be a missionary to prove that I wasn’t selfish like everyone else, but of course that made me look down on everyone else 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. There were multiple sources of that pressure to be the most sacrificial Christian ever, but one of the sources was missionaries who criticized those who didn’t want to go abroad. Having my worst mental health crisis during study abroad was mercy in disguise. I felt like a failure, stayed in my home country after graduation, but developed compassion for people who didn’t want to be missionaries and for people who had invisible illnesses (mental or physical). It also saved me from the embarrassment of having to explain the situation to donors and sponsors because it happened before I committed to a specific position. Living in a foreign country again is not out of the question, but it would have to be motivated by love, not by fear of failure. Medication helps too because mental health has more than one cause.

   And of course, I cringe at talk of “radical” and “sold out” faith.

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     Sheila Wray Gregoire on September 2, 2021 at 7:47 pm

     I hear you! Jesus does call some overseas, but we have to understand individual callings, too.

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