Just a Personal Christmas Check-In

by | Dec 22, 2021 | Research, Uncategorized | 37 comments

Merchandise is Here!

My husband told me yesterday that I was in the middle of the “long dark night of the soul.”

We went down to a winery to celebrate our anniversary and we were just talking about the last year, and where we’re at now emotionally and where we think we’ll end up in five years and ten years.

Keith went through a lot of wrestling with God about fifteen years ago, mostly around the evolution/creation issue, since we were at a church and in a church community that didn’t believe that you could be a Christian and believe in an old earth. As a science person, Keith found that very difficult, and for a few years he was questioning a lot, but he ended up in a better place.

For me it hasn’t been around those sorts of debates but just the toll that our work has taken on me, this year especially.

To put it frankly, I am exhausted. I am emotionally spent. And I’m a little at a loss how to do everything I have to get done in the next year.

I’m so excited about the projects that are coming up. I’m excited for the launch of The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and the revamped Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex in March. Our mother/daughter book that’s due in at the publishers in April is going to be FIRE. It’s coming along well, but there’s still lots to write. The marriage book Keith and I are writing that’s due next fall is sketched out, and I’m excited about that one too.

But I’m also emotionally drained and simply exhausted.

I’ve been fighting all year, and it is a fight because I have to always have my guard up for attacks from the evangelical powers that be that don’t like The Great Sex Rescue.

But what’s been really demoralizing, and what has made me have this long, dark night of the soul, is something I talked about in last week’s podcast (the last podcast of 2021; I’m not doing one this week). I naively thought that when the evangelical powers that be actually saw the numbers about how harmful some of these teachings were, there would be some sort of a reckoning. At least someone would say something. One of the big marriage ministries. One of the big marriage podcasts. Focus on the Family. One of the big marriage authors.

Instead, someone like Gary Thomas, who was a personal friend and who I thought totally “got it” and understood how harmful so much of this was to women, doubled down on the idea that men need sex in a way that women will never, ever understand, and that women need to give sex so that men won’t sin.

That was the thing that just about killed me this year.

And then, as the year is over, I’ve been a victim of friendly fire, where a small number of abuse advocates have accused us of deliberately trying to hurt them by publishing our men’s study that found that only just shy of 50% of men use porn, rather than 70-90%. We’ve been told it’s a “personal betrayal”, that we are “pretending” things aren’t as they are (for what agenda? I can’t figure that out); that we’re “totally inaccurate”, that our methodology was simply wrong.

It’s just been hard.

And so I’m exhausted, and I posted about it on Facebook recently, and caused a bit of a panic that I thought I should clear up (which is really why I’m writing this post).

I said:

Over the last few weeks there’s been a hubbub on some other pages and beyond because of our most recent research finding that between 45 and 49% of married Christian men currently watch porn (and most watch it intermittently or rarely, not daily or weekly). Some people, especially in the advocacy community, were certain it was higher. In talking about this on social media, they used language that accused us, without basis, of doing our research wrong; implied we didn’t know what we were doing; and said that we were hurting abused women. That was very, very emotionally draining for our team, especially since for the last year we have had intense behind-the-scenes pressure from the powers-that-be in evangelicalism who aren’t happy about our research showing that most evangelical books actually hurt women’s marital and sexual satisfaction (as reported in The Great Sex Rescue). Much of the discussion around this porn stat got ugly, and I contributed to that. I’m sorry. It took a big emotional toll, but I know that in defending myself I also hurt others, and I regret that. I only want to seek truth, because the truth will never harm us. And I believe that when more people see the truth, more people will understand the harm that porn does (which is what our study definitively found). In the meantime, our team is still reeling, and making plans to step back from this job eventually because it is too emotionally draining, especially with the friendly fire. But I did want to apologize for contributing to pain.

Sheila Gregoire


I realized once I started to see the comments coming in that I insinuated that I’m about to quit, which I’m not.

So I don’t want anyone to panic!

I just meant that all of us are realizing what we’re doing is not sustainable long term, and we want to transition into something else EVENTUALLY. Rebecca wants to do that sooner than me. She’s raising kids, and she wants their childhood to be happy and stress-free as much as possible, and that’s simply not possible when we’re as stressed as we are these days. So she’ll be writing our mother-daughter book and hanging out on the podcast, but also looking at ways to build a business that doesn’t keep her as involved on a daily basis (and we’ve got some great ideas for that).

So what’s my plan long term?

I’ve been thinking about how I’ve said all along that my goal is to change the evangelical conversation about sex. 

I think we’re doing that. So now I’m wondering, over the next decade (or whatever time frame), how do I want to leave? And the answer that I keep coming up with is that I don’t want this to just be about me. 

I never wrote to get rich and famous (I honestly don’t care that much, and it’s way too hard to get rich and famous doing this anyway). I only want influence that I can use to the better.

And now I’d like to use that influence to raise up other voices in the evangelical marriage conversation.

I’ve said for a long time now that part of the problem in evangelical marriage and sex books is that they’re all written by the same small group of people who often tend to be the same age and gender (boomer men) and they’re written from the same perspective. There are exceptions, especially of people who have big marriage podcasts, but even there–it’s all the same perspective.

If we’re going to make a dent, we need to raise up the voices saying something different, so it’s not just a monolith. If we want people to understand that you can’t teach the obligation sex message, then we need to be raising up people who teach something different.

So I want to start introducing you all to new voices on my podcasts and even in this blog. I want to start elevating people in their 30s or 40s (or even 20s!) who are bright, sold out to Jesus, and doing this well. I want, at the point where I leave, for there to be so many people talking about this in a healthy way that there isn’t a monolithic evangelical view of marriage and sex anymore. There’s healthy as well. And it will become ever so apparent who is healthy and who is not.

Voices like:

And those are just the ones I’m thinking of off the top of my head! There are so many more.

I’ll know that I can retire when there are so many other voices that are getting attention in this sphere, and it’s no longer just the unhealthy ones.

I think together we can do that!

In the meantime, I will honestly try to get a handle on my emotions.

I do want to give myself more time to myself. I do need some time to process and to rest. I don’t always want to be depressed when I talk to all of you, because in many ways the news is good! Just read the Amazon reviews for The Great Sex Rescue! I’m talking to a professor tomorrow at a university in California who was amazed at the reviews, and our dataset, and who I’m hoping will partner with us on some peer-reviewed papers. People are finding freedom, and that will continue.

And so many churches are using The Great Sex Rescue now! I talked to a military chaplain yesterday who just ordered 150 copies! This is amazing.

But I think I need some downtime, so this will be my last post of 2021. As I look into the Christmas season, I’m thinking a lot about the idea that when Truth and Light and Life come, they also often are met with disruption and pain. It doesn’t mean the Truth and LIght isn’t there; it’s just part of the world we live in.

Many have asked how they can encourage us and help.

I so appreciate the question!

So here goes:

Join the Patreon Group

If you want to encourage Joanna and Rebecca and keep the in this fight, join the Patreon group! We really need to write a bunch of papers for peer-reviewed journals (and several are coming along well) but there’s no money in that, and Rebecca and Joanna each have small children. We also want to get into some other social media channels that can’t be monetized, and I can’t pay them for that. So if you support them for as little as $5 a month, you get access to our Facebook group, some unfiltered podcasts, and more! And it’s an awesome bunch there.

Pick up The Great Sex Rescue!

If you haven’t read The Great Sex Rescue, you need to. Seriously. I know it can seem like you’ve  heard it all if you’ve followed the blog and listened to the podcast, but the gut punch of reading all of the terrible quotes in one place, and seeing the data of how much these teachings have hurt marriages and sex lives, is something that needs to be experienced.

Gift The Great Sex Rescue–and Review It!

Give it to your pastor, your women’s ministry leader, your MOPS group leader–or your sister or best friend. We need to get this data into as many hands as possible, and especially the hands of people who decide on curriculum for women’s studies. And if you have read it, remember to leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads! That helps too. (and don’t forget we have a FREE video study that goes along with the book too!)

Leave comments on the blog–or anywhere else!

I feel like I need 10 good comments to counteract every one that I get attacking me. 🙂 I’m not sure if that’s true, but it feels that way somehow. So just know that we read all your comments and emails, and we save so many of them in encouragement files, and we appreciate them. And I love seeing people comment for the first time on this blog too!

Pray for Us

I’ve honestly never ended a year this tired. I know so many of us are feeling that with COVID, but I really need a boost. I think the big thing keeping my head above water is my new granddaughter who is adorable. But we are tired. And I’m hoping that some of that lifts this Christmas and I can feel the joy and wonder of the Incarnation again.

And I wish that for you all, too. Merry Christmas!


Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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  1. Nessie

    Thank you for sharing names of other authors/speakers that see the truth of scripture such as yourself. Thank you for fighting so hard to counteract years of twisted scripture teachings we have received, for helping start our healing journeys. Thank you for doing so much work behind the scenes that none of us can fully know, grasp, or understand. Thank you for caring and loving well, wanting all to live fully free in Christ Jesus. Thank you for being real about your limitations, and humble enough to know that this battle cannot, and should not, rest all on your shoulders. Thank you for doing the work now to keep this fight going in the hopes that one day it will no longer have to be a “fight.”

    Praying for peace, rest, hope, renewal, and love to fill you and sustain you over the next few weeks and throughout the new year ahead. I imagine one day you will hear a hearty, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” from your Father.

  2. Nathan

    Sheila, I’m so sorry that you’ve gotten so much pushback, even from people you counted as allies. I wish I had some advice on how to recharge your emotional batteries, but I can’t think of anything except take a week off and do other things. I’m not sure if that’s your style, though.

    But please know that some people ARE hearing your voice and listening. This site has improved me and others around me. Don’t give up! You’re making a good, positive difference.

  3. Nathan

    And tell Keith that I was in that same place. I was also at a church that said that you couldn’t be a “real” Christian unless you believe in a 6000 year old Earth.

    I struggled, but finally realized that God is okay with us believing in creation or evolution. What He wants is for us to be good people who honor Him and care for and respect others, no matter how old the planet is.

  4. n

    Happy and restful Christmas to all of you. Frankly, I don’t think I agree with you about everything. But I read your posts avidly, because I feel that you are one of the few Christian writers who has a high view of Scripture, *and* of scientific research, *and* you can participate in vigorous, timely, adult discussion, *and* you don’t have to shun people who don’t agree with you 100%. Possibly my favorite thing you have done is to help Joanna see that she didn’t have to enter a PhD program (with all the ways that often turns out to be evil indentured servitude behind the scenes), in order to do rigorous, respectable, fantastic scientific research through a well-designed survey. Both academia and Christian publishing have needed to change for way, way, way too long, and all of you are showing tenacity in getting helpful truths out there for those who genuinely love truth. Thank you.

  5. Jen

    Oh, friend. Rest. Just rest. We cycle through rest and activity, so what you’re feeling, even without the nastiness of hard hearts, is normal because you’ve been going full throttle. We don’t build muscle by continually holding weights – we have to pick them up and then put them back down again. You’re in the “put the weights down” phase. Drink tea, knit, hold your grandkids, look at the moon, ponder hopeful things, eat chocolate. Just be for now. When your energy has been rejuvenated, you’ll know what’s next. May you have a blessed, peaceful Christmas.

  6. Brittany

    The statistics always feel bigger when you’re in their midst. As a DV survivor, the truth that porn use ISN’T as common as people think offers me hope that there are good men out there and many people willing to squelch that idea (and the toxicity that comes with it). ❤️‍🩹

    • J

      This is my feeling exactly!!!

  7. Anon

    Sending a great big cyber-hug your way. And praying you have a joyful and peaceful Christmas, and lots of time to eat yummy food, chill out with the family and knit.

    Oh, and you are making more difference than you know. Recently, I’ve been rereading a couple of ‘classic’ novels, and I found I couldn’t finish them, because the relationship dynamics between husband & wife were sooooo bad. I honestly don’t think I’d have noticed a problem 5 years ago, just putting it down to him being a bit ‘awkward’ or ‘damaged’, but now I’m ‘NO! That’s abusive! And I don’t want to unwind by reading a novel about a woman stuck in an abusive marriage.’ My whole mindset has shifted, and it’s even changing my leisure reading now, thanks to you & your team xxx

    • Meghan

      Omg the same thing is happening to me, but with young adult novels! A librarian recommended this series that was supposed to be fun and light and have a kind of fantasy feel to it, but I couldn’t get much past the second chapter because the dude being set up as the love interest was such a jerk. And yes that is a common trope that the love of a good person will change a jerk person, but it sends a bad message and I can’t get any enjoyment out of reading those kinds of nonsense tropes any more.

  8. Anna

    Remember the bible calls God a fortress because he is a place to set your back against.

  9. Wendy

    Thank you for everything that you and your family have sacrificed to help us. I now have hope where there once was no hope and only grief and sadness. I now have books and materials to teach my own children. Now they don’t have to suffer from the wrong teaching that I was exposed to that kept me and my mom in abusive marriages for many years. You have touched so many lives and brought healing and change that was so desperately needed. Praying for rest, comfort, and peace for you all.

  10. Kimberly Marie

    Thank you Shiela! I’m looking forward to your upcoming books. (I’ve preordered them!)
    The Great Sex Rescue was so validating. You pointed me towards being healthy as a whole person and towards so many good, healthy people that have been so healing.
    May you get the rest you need. Merry Christmas to you and your family (and Joanna and hers!).
    Looking forward to joining the chorus!

  11. Carmen

    I pray that you come into the new year refreshed and inspired to continue to fight for the truth. Blessings to you and your family!

  12. Emily B

    I’m praying for rest for you and your whole team, Sheila! Your blog and The Great Sex Rescue have truly changed my life and finding them has been a highlight amidst a very difficult year.

  13. Amy

    Merry Christmas Keith and Sheila! You have made such a positive difference in my life. Your writing and podcasts have helped me rethink my past abusive relationship and how the things I learned at church contributed to that. Thank you for your healing words! Wishing you some joyful, peaceful rest.

  14. Anon

    I haven’t seen any comments along this line of thought, so maybe take some encouragement with a different perspective: maybe the lower-than-expected numbers are a sign that the tide is turning! Maybe more men are understanding the difference between noticing and lusting. Maybe God’s people are opening their eyes to the wrong teachings and and are putting lust to death.

    Just a thought. There is freedom I Christ. Maybe our evangelical men are finding it!!

  15. A2bbethany

    This makes me think of the advice Dr John deloney has given about emotional and mental exhaustion. I don’t remember all of them, but here’s what I do:

    He recommends having a journal for daily gratitude’s. To remind you today wasn’t all bad.

    Another notebook to write down the lies your emotions are putting on you, from your hard days. (So you can then replace it with the truth.)
    And the rest of his advice was focused on self care and proper routines. Exercise, eating right, having a hobby, ECT.

    And something about the importance of friends, and staying connected to them.

  16. Amy

    Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
    Thank you for your hard work, your research, and standing against the onslaught of opposing voices to speak truth and hope to God’s precious daughters who have been so wounded by distorted teaching.
    I lead a small Women’s Bible study. So many of us have been betrayed or abandoned by husbands professing to love God. As we spoke this last week, the pain of feeling blamed as a cause of our men’s sin was unanimous. I shared with them about The Great Sex Rescue and we talked about some of the harmful teachings and advice that we had internalized over the years. There’s still so much healing to take place, but giving a voice to the pain and safe place for it to be acknowledged, I saw the beginnings of breakthrough. After the holidays I will be approaching one of the pastors with the book.

  17. Jill

    Confused on your use if friendly fire… That is when a side accidently fires at their own side, not when they disagree or turn on each other….
    But anyways, I do hope you get to a better place and have a grid holiday season.
    I think it is time for me personally to move on from this site. I just find it a real bummer for a while now, and, honestly, not all all relevant to me. I’ve read it since close to the beginning. What started off as a fun place to spice up and get tips for great marriages has become soley a place for victims of abuse, etc… And that is okay. Of course, that is much needed as well. I do miss what it was, but I have other blogs for that.

  18. Kathryn

    Thank you so much to you, and your whole team for all the hard work you put into everything you do!!!

    I absolutely love TGSR, and have given it to my mom, and sisters.
    It’s so good to have such an amazing book to recommend to people!

    And I can’t wait for your mother/daughter book to come out.

  19. Stacie

    I know it’s a lot right now, but I appreciate everything you are doing to start (and continue) this conversation. I hope you are able to take some time away, rest, and find the hope and healing only Christ can give. Your posts and podcasts have helped me tremendously, and I am grateful for you!

  20. Lindsey

    I have read much of your stuff and followed you for several years but have never commented. I just wanted to thank you for continuing to approach the subject of pornography and sex in marriage in such an honest and graceful way. At the beginning of my marriage, I found out my husband struggled with pornography and I had no idea. It was devastating and it nearly wrecked our marriage. However by the grace of God, prayer, lots of honest conversations, therapy, accountability and blogs and books like yours we survived and now are so much stronger than I ever thought possible. He no longer struggles with pornography or the temptation to consume. We have regained a healthy sex life and continue to have honest conversations around the subject. Thanks for providing resources and light to an often dark and shameful subject. It’s so needed and very few do it well, especially in the church.
    God has certainly used you in our marriage and I’m sure there are countless others who can say the same. Merry Christmas!

  21. A.

    Merry Christmas Sheila and the whole team! Just to say that finding your book and blog and podcast (love Rebecca’s rants;)) made all the difference for me this year. It gave me hope, a space to share my anger and found validation for some real issues in my life. Thank you! Praying that you ll find rest and peace in this season xx

  22. Carolyn

    Thank you so much Sheila, Rebecca, Keith, and Joanna for being who you are. I am reminded about James 5:17 which says that Elijah was a man “just like us.” Sometimes we forget that the strong, influential voices are real people too, who have real lives, real hurts, real To Do lists, good days, bad days, etc. So today, I choose to celebrate each of you for who you are (even more than what you do). You are each so special and deserving of all good things. May this Christmas season bring breakthrough joy and restoration for each of you.

  23. Mary

    Sheila, I am so in awe of yours and Rebecca and Joanna’s work! I can barely handle two or three negative comments on my personal social media, I don’t know how you all do it when you’re in the midst of a firestorm. But your work is so important and has given me so much hope!

    I am a Patron and I just upped my membership. I bought the book and plan to read it next week. I really would love to buy copies of the book for churches who need healthy teaching on sexuality. (My own church is already doing great in this regard.) I think I’ll just start looking at church websites for any sketchy teaching and then mailing them the book, praying it gets into the right hands!

  24. Phil


    You can always count on me for 10 comments! I am always up for encouraging you! Thanks for all your hard work and taking on the tough issues! Your work has helped so many and it will carry on long after you step aside. Thanks for all you do. You truly are special. As I like to say around here…I cant wait to see what happens next! My hope for you is that your work brings you fun, joy and laughter! See you next year!

  25. Jennifer

    My world has been flipped upside down . It feels as if there are not many rocks left to be unturned, but giving the last couple years I don’t even dare to believe that. God is certainly gathering His people.
    I wanted to share with you an email I had shared with a group from my church. I hope it is a means to encourage you💕

    “ I just finished a podcast from a blog called “to love, honor and vacuum”.
    I have a backstory to why this blog and what is shared today is vital for understanding.
    When I was first married and my two oldest were babies, blogs were a newish thing. This blog was one I thoroughly enjoyed. I thought she had it all right where is comes down to ruling and submitting. I fell hook line and sinker for to show love to my husband he needed a clean house to come home too, quiet children that are clean, dressed, and respectful. I was to be welcoming in my appearance and attitude.
    Dinner was on time and well planned out, yadayada …
    This blog, other blogs, and many books that I read also reiterated this. It was also mentioned that if your husband was not kind, or happy, or your marriage wasn’t happy then either the woman has to try harder, pray harder, submit more, I think you get the picture.
    Over time this facade fell flat in our marriage. We did not have a marriage based on this ruling and submission that was being taught. We had a friendship and it honestly burnt me out. He didn’t care near as much as I did and told me often. So I thought I needed a book to encourage me once again. “Love and Respect” came out highly recommended as well as “Sheet Music” and a couple others.
    I couldn’t even finish “Love and Respect”. It was boring and it had no meat for a relationship between a husband and wife in Christ.
    So I wondered where the books for women with “meat” with what our relationship to Christ is through our marriages. It took a long time to find, but eventually some good books starting surfacing.
    Over the past year more books have surfaced. Including a new book written by this blog, “To love, honor, and Vacuum.” Her name is Sheila Gregoirre and she admits she had it all wrong. She wrote a book, that just came out this year called “the great sex rescue” it is 🤯.
    This is getting far too long so I will wrap it up. I am sharing this podcast to share with you what I believe is a part of why were are seeing the Christian world battle abuse. I have been trying to write this train of thought I have been running with in my mind for some time. Sheila Gregoirre, in her interview with her daughter and then another interview with a seminary professor, named Nicole Parker, (gasp, it is a woman) kidding aside I was a bit concerned, but as you continue to listen she is not a Pastor, but she does teach along side of her husband who is a Pastor.
    So anyway, This podcast explains it far better then the jumble in my head at this time. Eventually I will get it on paper.😌”

    Statistics or no statistics this truth needs to be revealed.
    Thank you for your years of hard work.💕
    Looking forward to all your new books in 2022
    Merry Christmas

  26. Sam

    My heart goes out to you! It feels like you’re fighting a losing battle some days with no clear end in sight. 🙁

  27. Stephen

    I came on here specifically to make this comment. I have been listening to your podcast and reading your emails for the last 3 years or so, and it has changed my relationship with my wife as well as my life. We have a fantastic relationship, both emotionally and sexually, and I have your team to thank for it. You opened my eyes to the fact that I am not beholden to my sex drive, and that I CAN control myself.

    Now, I did porn when I was younger, but with my loving wife’s help I stopped that decades ago. However, you reinforced what I had already discovered – I do not NEED sex, and I am a better person and husband for knowing it.

    Thank you for all that you have done. Keep at it. The enemy will not stop, but we are more than conquerors through Him who gives us strength.

    God bless.

  28. Jill Couch

    Best thing I’ve heard you say all year! Most leopards don’t change their spots so do we continue to try to scrub those spots off? Most certainly not!
    Jesus spread Gods word and kept moving forward. Some followed, some didn’t.
    He, kept moving forward.
    Bring new young voices forward is great news!
    That’s gives those of us who choose to grow and move out of these old and dangerous teachings to have positive role models and advocates to follow.
    So WE, get to move forward and the naysayers won’t tear you apart.
    You are loved and respected Sheila, and I recognize my opinion may not hold a lot of water because we are friends, BUT, many christians are seeking to follow and serve Christ that honours His Love and Kindness NOT the opinions of man.
    With new guidelines and leadership from some fresh blood we will be able to find peace.
    Sheila, you, working so hard at the cost of your well-being is not effective on several levels.
    You are a precious child of God and He needs you well…so does your family
    Ok, lecture over. Lol
    But remember I am your elder! Lol
    Rest in His arms and don’t return until you’re refreshed.
    This new direction is SO exciting!
    I’m looking forward to these young voices being brought forward.
    Love and Blessings my precious friend. ❤️🙏🏻

  29. M

    So many people are being helped by your work!!!!! Raise up the next generations, but don’t stop. You are so powerful in Christ! You will never know all you accomplished. Seriously there are sooo many testimonies. I wish I knew you so I could tell you so many good things:)

  30. Marc

    Thanks for all the hard work you and your team do. You have been an awesome encouragement to me and I am behind you 1000%. I am glad you are taking some time to rest. Please keep up your work if you can. You will be rewarded in heaven 😇

  31. Lisa M

    I absolutely LOVE the idea of you elevating some of the other voices that are doing this work! I know you never cared about getting famous, it’s just not in you. I’m looking forward to hearing more about this path.


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