We know that parenting is the biggest responsibility we will ever have. But we've been told such different things about the nature of that responsibility. If you grew up in an evangelical church, chances are you were told that a parent's job is to teach them to obey,...
All the Latest from "Parenting Teens"
The Obligation Sex Series
- 10 Things to Know about Obligation Sex
- Why Obligation Sex Destroys Libido (and how it affects us long-term) (coming soon)
- A Way Forward to Recovery from Obligation Sex (coming soon)
- You Don’t Need to Consent to Being Used (coming soon)
- When Your Husband Won’t Let go of Obligation Sex (coming soon)
- The Obligation Sex podcast (coming soon)
Previous Posts on Obligation Sex
- Can We Honor our Bodies’ Rhythms?
- Does 1 Corinthians 7 Mean that Women Have No Sexual Autonomy?
- What Happens When Men Believe the Obligation Sex Message?
Previous Podcasts on Obligation Sex
- New Research on the effects of Obligation Sex
- The Myth of the Magic Penis
- Marital Rape, Consent, and the Problems with Obligation Sex
Plus please see our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit for handy downloads about the effects of obligation sex that you can give to your pastor, counselor, small group leader–anyone who teaches it!
And see chapters 9 and 10 in The Great Sex Rescue for all our charts, stats, and commentary!
The Sexual Recovery Series–Digging Yourself out of the Pit
- A 4 -Point Plan to Sexual Recovery
- Redefining Sex: Seeing Sex as an Expression of your Relationship, Not an Individual Need
- What Sexual Recovery Looks Like
- Safety and Intimacy: You’ll Never Have an Intimate Sex Life without Feeling Safe First
- When Sex Has Become One-Sided, Leaving Her Feeling Used
- 8 Step Plan to Regain Sexual Autonomy
- Why You Need to Deal with Your Own Sexual Stuff
- When Your Spouse Won’t Change
Marital Rape Posts:
- 2 Kinds of Marital Rape
- How to Recover from Marital Rape (if it’s possible)
- Why Christians Often Don’t Understand Consent
- 5 Next Steps if You Realize You’ve Coerced Your Wife into Sex
- Does 1 Corinthians 7 Mean that She Has No Sexual Autonomy?
- How Do I Get My Husband to Understand He’s Been Coercing Me into Sex?
- PODCAST: A Path forward Addressing Sexual Shame (with Jay Stringer)
- PODCAST: The Myth of the Magic Penis (and a call for integrated sex)
- PODCAST: Learned Helplessness and Sex
Keith’s Danvers Statement Series
Looking at the 4 ways those who believe in hierarchy in marriage think marriage can go wrong
- Domination: Do hierarchalists take it seriously?
- Passivity: Is it the problem hierarchalists say it is?
- Usurpation: Behold the circular logic!
- Servility: When every problem is a nail
- And our PODCAST summarizing the whole series!
Plus see the book Keith co-authored with Sheila, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex!
The Research Deep Dive Series
- Does Sex Start in the Kitchen or Does It Die There?
- How Does a Couple’s First Time Affect Libido?
- Is “All Men Struggle With Lust” a Primal Fear?
- Is She Dressing for Attention or is He?
- PODCAST: Ogling and Dressing for Attention
- 5 Questions to Ask That Minimize Bias When Discussing Research
- 10 Things to Know About Hormones and Libido
- Bring Back Vanilla Sex
The Marriage Misdiagnosis Series
- I’ve Figured Out Why Christian Marriage Advice Can Be So Shallow
- Why Elevating Commitment As the Answer to Everything Misses the Point
- 4 Things Christian Marriage Teachers Need to Stop Saying
- Who is the Focus of Most Marriage Teaching?
- PODCAST with Natalie Hoffman: An example of marriage misdiagnosis in real life
- PODCAST: The Marriage Misdiagnosis Podcast
- Are We Putting Reconciliation Before Rebuilding Trust?
- Does It Really Take Two to Tango?
- Should We Always Put the Husband Before the Kids?
- Why Holding Up Radical Stories of Marriage Restoration Can Harm More than Hurt
- If I Pray Hard Enough, Will God Heal My Marriage?
- I Followed Christian Marriage Advice about Genders–and I Failed My Husband
And please check out our book The Great Sex Rescue about all the ways that evangelicalism has given the wrong diagnosis about sex!
Older posts from "Parenting Teens"
What if our advice actually triggers the behaviour we want to prevent? One of my favourite places on the internet is our private Patreon Facebook group, where the people who support us financially hang out. For just $5 a month people can join our Patreon group, and in...
Let's use a real-life example of purity culture double standards: Brio Magazine Yesterday on the podcast Rebecca and I read excerpts from old copies of Focus on the Family's Brio magazine, aimed at teen girls 12-16. We wanted you to hear first hand what purity culture...
It's our 200th episode! And we wanted to celebrate by doing something that matters to Rebecca--and to so many of you. We wanted to read some back issues of Brio Magazine, the magazine for preteen and teen girls published by Focus on the Family that encapsulated purity...
She should know that Jesus is not a Jealous Boyfriend. In our book She Deserves Better, we have 32 headings that start "She Should Know..." 32 things that girls need to know, in the very fiber of their being, to dispel a lot of the harmful things we too often have...
Are we missing something if we save kissing for marriage? One of the tenets of purity culture was that all physical contact--even kissing--should be saved for marriage. It wasn't just that sex is for marriage. It was that kissing was too. Some couples didn't even...
When you're a teen, it's normal to have sexual feelings. In fact, sexual feelings are a normal part of life for adults too! We have sex dreams (the content of which can sometimes be quite alarming). We can feel attraction to people. We can feel "horny", for lack of a...
Every Young Man’s Battle is the only book I ever reviewed that made me weep. Perhaps it’s because I read it after I had already read a whole bunch of books aimed at teen girls, and it was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. But I think there was a whole other...
What exactly does "purity culture" refer to? Our recent book She Deserves Better spends about half of its pages addressing many aspects of purity culture, that was so common in youth groups between 1995-2015, and shows how it deviated from the gospel and from what we...
I've been doing so many interviews for our new book She Deserves Better! I wanted a place where I can put the links to those podcasts, because so many of you have been asking for a list. When I do an interview on ANOTHER podcast, I tend to summarize the book quite...
Not every girl has an equal chance of growing up and marrying an abuser. The family circumstances and social environment she grows up in can greatly impact her chances. And these things are, to a certain extent, out of our control. But there are things that are even...
What happens when teenage girls don't understand consent and coercion? They often blame themselves for their own date rape. In our consent chapter for She Deserves Better, we told Kay's story--that all too many of you will relate to. Kay was making out with her...
In She Deserves Better, we include headings listing what girls deserve to know. And they're dynamite! It's now one week since She Deserves Better has launched! It's been a wild week, and we're so excited with how well the book is selling. We've had even more requests...