I Need Your Help–with the Biggest Christian Marriage & Sex Survey!

by | Nov 4, 2019 | Marriage | 18 comments

Sex and Marriage Survey

I need your voice.


We are about to launch a BIG project at Bare Marriage. We’ve just signed a contract for a new book with Baker Books, tentatively titled The Great Sex Rescue. It’s going to cover how to have amazing sex by getting over all the things holding you back.

My daughter Rebecca and our co-worker Joanna Sawatsky are all going to co-author it. We’re excited about it. We’re thrilled to pieces. We’re signing contracts even right after we’ve given birth! (well, after Rebecca’s given birth, at least).

Signing the Contract with Baker Books

But we can’t write the book until we hear from you.

We’ve been writing so much about why sex can go wrong in Christian marriages–and why it can go right. But we don’t just want to tell you what we think. We want to do actual research, so that we have numbers behind what we’re saying.

In fact, we want to do the biggest research project on sex and marriage from a Christian perspective that has ever been done.

A lofty goal?


But we think it’s doable, and so does Baker Books, who is so super excited about this project.

So, if you’re a woman who has ever been married (even if you’re divorced or widowed now), we’d be thrilled if you would take 20 minutes and fill out our survey.

Your voice matters. We need you. And we’d be so grateful if you could help with the survey!

A few quick things:

  • Want something free? When you complete the survey, you’ll get a link to an awesome “Intimacy Igniter” freebie, a four-part cumulative exercise you can do as a couple to build intimacy. Super fun!
  • Or how about winning something? When you complete the survey, you’ll also get the chance to enter a draw for 1 of 98 prizes, worth over $2000 in total, including book bundles, courses, autographed copies of books, an Amazon gift card, and more.

We’re also looking for TWO other types of people to help us:

We need women for focus groups!

At the end of the survey, you’ll be given the chance to enter your email if you’d like to be contacted to potentially be part of a focus group. We want to ask more detailed questions and get people’s stories, and if you’re willing to share that with us, that would be awesome!

(that’s the only time we’d be able to match your email with our responses; unless you choose, you will be utterly anonymous).

We need survey recruiters–and guys, you can help here, too!

We’re looking at having thousands upon thousands of people complete this survey. And we don’t want people only from my list, either. We want to reach the broader Christian community–conservative Christians, more progressive Christians, younger Christians, older Christians, Christians who don’t go to church anymore, Christians who are super involved–I feel like a Dr. Seuss book, but you know what I mean.

And so we need YOU to recruit your friends. You can post on Facebook, send out an email to 10 women, tell people in your Bible study group–whatever.

If you’d like to be part of that, just email us and we’ll get back to you with your own unique link. And then we’ve got some special incentives!

  • Once you reach 25 recruits, we’ll record some special exclusive podcasts where you can submit a question that we will answer.
  • Once you reach 50 recruits, you’ll be invited to a 2-week Voxer coaching group, where I’ll give a 15-minute message every morning to help you with your sex life, and you can submit comments, too.

AND THE GRAND PRIZE: the person who recruits the most to the survey will win ME coming to give my GIRL TALK to your church/group sometime in the next 18 months, anywhere in the United States and Canada (and seriously, I could be convinced to go to New Zealand, Australia, or the U.K., too, if you live there). I’ll waive my fee and charge 1/2 of the travel expenses.

Please allow Tammy 24 hours to get back to you with your link!


This has the potential to be a ground-breaking book.

We’re so excited.

  • Rebecca’s our psychometrics person, who is designing the survey, doing our literature review, and sketching out the chapters.
  • Joanna’s our data geek, who is way too over excited about analyzing all the results as they trickle in.
  • Together, Rebecca and Joanna will design the follow-up focus groups and more in-depth surveys with targeted groups, and choose the anecdotes and stories to include in the book.
  • And then I’m going to write it and put it altogether.

We did a soft launch of the survey on Friday, to everyone who gets my weekly emails (do you get them yet? If not, you should!). And I don’t think Joanna slept all weekend because she was so excited to have actual data to look at. After months of planning the survey, debating what questions to include, and testing it, we can finally start to see people’s answers.

Analyzing Bare Marriage Marital and Sexual Satisfaction Survey

So let her nerd out some more by filling out our survey! Thank you!

After you’ve completed the survey, you’ll get a chance to enter our prize draw, where you could win:

So here’s what I’d love it if you’d do:

  1. Take the survey. 🙂 (Thank you!)

  2. Send this link to 10 friends: https://www.research.net/r/baremarriageproject 


  3. Email us about being a recruiter and getting your own unique link and entering our recruiting contest.

Thank you so much! With your help, this can be a treasure trove of information, and will really help us craft a great book.

Take Our Sex & Marriage Survey

Written by

Sheila Wray Gregoire


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Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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  1. Jeff

    That me was supposed to be MEN.
    Thanks – do you want MEN to take it as well.

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Unfortunately, not this time, Jeff. But hopefully in another one soon! Looks like Keith and I will be working on a book AFTER this next one for guys on sex, and then we’ll definitely need your input.

      • Jeff

        ok. Thanks.

  2. Rebecca Loe

    I took the survey. I didn’t put in my email at the end because I was trying to get done, but I wish I would have! I’m the INTJ. I really enjoyed having some input! I think on the issues you bring up on the blog regularly.

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Thank you so much, Rebecca! I’ve got your email from this comment, so I’ll enter you in the draw regardless. 🙂

  3. Nathan

    Rebecca writes
    > > I’m the INTJ.

    So am I! I didn’t take this survey (I’ll take the one for men when Sheila gets it going), but I’ve taken the Myers Briggs test many times and I’ve been an INTJ (aka Architect) every single time. A friend of mine has also taken it many times and gotten a different answer each time. I doubt that he has multiple personalities, my guess is that he’s on the fence for many characteristics and the dominant one depends on his emotional state.

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      ENTJ here all the way!

      • Nathan

        Oops! I meant INTP (Architect). Close, though!

  4. Julie

    I am not single, but have friends who are. Would love to have had the survey include their thoughts and opinions where applicable. Whether married now or not, we all grew up in the same church and pop culture and heard the same messages about sex. Whether married now or not, we are all created as sexual beings who have thoughts and feelings about sex. Whether married or not, many women who grew up in the church have participated in sex. I think the church generally does a poor job at inclusivity towards singles, and a sex survey aimed only at women who have been married only perpetuates that divide. Just something to consider for future surveys. Thank you!

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Certainly, that’s a great focus for another survey. It’s just not what we’re studying right now. I’m not trying to dismiss single people’s concerns, or invalidate their sexuality. It’s just that every survey starts with a research question, and ours was focused on marriage, and our outcome variables are all about marriage, so it just isn’t applicable for single people. That’s just the way that surveys work. You can’t study everything; you can only study some things at a time, and this is what we’re looking to study.

  5. Phil

    Hey Sheila and TLHV Team – best wishes on your newest adventure. I wish you the best. I really do. Unfortunately I just can’t see how I can ask a woman to take a survey that I am not part of and the topic is marriage with a focus on sex. Maybe it’s my road block. I do really wish I could help – you know that. I just can’t see going up to a woman and saying hey – can you take this survey on a new marriage book that focuses on marriage and sex and oh btw I can’t take the survey because its for women only and so I haven’t even seen it either….. So really maybe it s a woman’s marriage book not a marriage book. Thanks for the invite but I will have to bow out on this one. Best wishes & Congratulations! And yes I will read it anyway LOL.

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yeah, you know, Phil, I think you’re totally right. Likely not a good idea for a guy to put this on Facebook! But if you could ask your wife to…maybe that would work. 🙂 But, yeah, that would be super awkward.

      • Phil

        Yes – just came back to the blog to write – I bet i could get my wife to take the survey! Will do the best I can for you.

        • Sheila Wray Gregoire

          thank you, Phil! 🙂

  6. Lindsey

    Took they survey last week! So happy to be a part of your next venture!

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Thank you, Lindsey!

  7. Bill Johnson

    Survey is broken. couldn’t get past the first page.

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Hi Bill,

      It’s only for women, so if you said that you were male, it should have sent you to a disqualification page. Sorry! We’re hoping to do one of men in the future, too.


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