Let’s jump in with our embodiment series on the blog–and the podcast!
This month we’re going to be talking about embodiment, leading up to Christmas. Our bodies are important. Jesus took on human form to live among us. He resurrected bodily, as will we. He showed in his miracles that our physical selves matter to Him.
And God created us to experience relationship not just with our feelings or our souls but also with our bodies.
So how do we live our feelings through our bodies? How do we learn to inhabit our bodies more? Join us as Rebecca and I jumpstart this series, and then Keith and I get all scientific about arousal non-concordance and mindfulness!
Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:
Timeline of the Podcast
1:00 The Concept of Embodiment
6:15 C-Section Backlash?!
10:45 The Value of Other Perspectives
25:10 RQ: My Physical and Mental state aren’t connecting during sex!
37:10 Keith joins to talk science!
47:00 Using mindfulness as a key to orgasm
Main Segment: Why Our Bodies Matter
Rebecca and I jump in to what embodiment means, and why our bodies matter.
And then we address some concerns that came into the blog from women expressing dismay that we were happy that Rebecca had a C-section rather than a natural birth. We wanted to point out that the C-section saved her and her baby’s life, because things went bad very, very fast, including ruptures.
And then we’d like to address how often we downplay what other people experience physically because we haven’t experienced it as badly. So someone says they have bad cramps, and we assume we understand–but do we?
Reader Question: I feel distant from my husband but I get aroused and I don’t want to
Here’s a question that ties perfectly in with what we want to talk about today:
Mid-forties, Married a decade and a half. I grew up in a Christian home but sex was never discussed. Growing up I was told that sex came after marriage. In college, boys introduced me to sex with plenty of alcohol. As I matured I re committed to abstinence until a relationship really felt committed. In the early years of my relationship with my husband sex was fun and enjoyable but not mind blowing like others describe. We have several children (beyond the toddler years). We were farmers 24/7 until relatively recently. My husband has always said the kids were my responsibility and the farm was his. But I was expected to work as hard as him on the farm plus all the childcare and housework. He never changed a single diaper or got up in the night with a child. Obviously sex was not frequent but it was pretty regular. I considered it part of my marriage committed and he got what he wanted with coercion/guilt. I rarely enjoyed it at all and was going through the motions. Sex is sometimes painful for me and I would close my eyes and bare it. Currently he works 12+ hour days 7 days a week. I work full time and handle kids activities and 2-3 hours of barn chores. Sometime in the last little while I started telling him no more often than yes. I’m trying to figure out why sex is so bad for me. It feels like my head and heart separate from the rest of my body. He enjoys the things my body will do and I can’t control it or stop it. When my body responds to his touch he feels like I enjoy it. I just wish my body would stop responding. I don’t enjoy it. I tolerate it when he really makes me feel guilty for saying no. This is a long, hard story to tell. Do other women ever describe the separation between how they think/feel and how their body naturally responds to touch/sex? I need help.
That does sound normal, and it’s called…
Arousal Non-Concordance: what it is and what we should know
After discussing the dynamics of the reader question, Keith jumps on the podcast and he and I discuss arousal non-concordance and what the research says–when your body and mind don’t sync up when it comes to arousal. I explained it in detail in yesterday’s post on arousal non-concordance, and in the podcast I summarize that post, so check it out for all the studies and links!
And then Keith and I talk about a new study on Mindfulness which shows that the key to re-establishing the mind-body connection is learning to practice mindfulness while you’re making love. And it helps with her orgasm, too! This is something we go over at length in the Orgasm Course as well.
The Orgasm Course is Here to Help You Experience Real Passion!
Figure out what’s holding you back. Open the floodgates to orgasm.
We’re almost at 1,000,000 downloads of the Bare Marriage podcast!
We need roughly another 40,000. Can you help us get there by the end of the year? Subscribe to the podcast and download it onto your phone! Tell others about the podcast! Let’s have a big celebration when we get there.
(Just playing it or watching on YouTube doesn’t count, unfortunately. It’s wonderful to do, though! I likely have about 3 times as many plays as downloads, but download where you can and help push us over the edge!)
Things Mentioned in This Podcast:
- Our amazing sponsor Femallay–with innovative menstrual cups, lovely cloth menstrual pads, balancing teas, and best of all, vaginal melts to nourish your body while making sex easy and fun.
- Our Patreon! Support us for as little as $5 a month, and get access to unfiltered podcasts, an active Facebook group, merch, and more! The money doesn’t go to me but to Joanna and Rebecca as they write articles for peer reviewed journals based on our research and get our research on new social media channels.
- The Arousal Non-Concordance post–it’s huge and chock full of info you need to know
- That new study on Mindfulness
- The Great Sex Rescue
- The Orgasm Course
What do you think? Does the concept of arousal non-concordance surprise you? Do you find a lot of judgment about your own medical conditions from others? Let’s talk in the comments!
Sheila Wray Gregoire
Founder of Bare Marriage
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