We’ve finally made the move, and To Love, Honor and Vacuum is now rebranded Bare Marriage!
Connor has been working on this for a few months now, and it turned into a much bigger job than we anticipated.
I started To Love, Honor and Vacuum back in 2008.
I started out as a parenting/mommy blog, and the title of the blog was based on my first book, which was published in 2003–To Love, Honor and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother.
When I started blogging, I focused on parenting and organizing and some general thoughts about life. I certainly tackled marriage, but it wasn’t my main focus.
Over the years, though, I found that the more I talked about sex the more people paid attention, and I found my niche. In 2012 the first edition of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex came out (a whole revamped second edition was published March 2022), and that became who I was.
So the title of the blog no longer fit what I was writing about–but I had a problem. Google really liked me, and I was getting a ton of traffic. I didn’t know how to rebrand. And so many people knew me from my blog.
Nevertheless, over the years I’ve felt like the title of the blog didn’t match at all what I was trying to say, and it grated on me a bit. But even more than that:
we felt that Integrity Demanded a Change
As you know, I’ve been dedicated to the “good fruit” test: Jesus said that a bad tree can’t bear good fruit, and a good tree can’t bear bad fruit. And so I’ve been looking at my past blog posts, and found that I don’t agree with all of them anymore.
I haven’t changed my views that much–but I have changed my emphasis. And I didn’t like the way that I used to emphasize gratitude in marriage rather than emotional health and boundaries, or how I would emphasize the importance of frequency of sex rather than making sure it’s mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both.
But I had so many posts going through each individually was a huge task! At one point there were over 2,900 posts on the blog.
So we made the decision to move the blog, and only take posts from 2018 and forward (along with some select ones from before that).
But we didn’t just move the site. we redid it.
Or rather, Connor did. After five different servers that To Love, Honor and Vacuum was on, and three different blog platforms, and countless blog administrators, it was just really clunky. And he felt that rebuilding it from the ground up was the better choice!
So it took a long time, but now the blog is running really well. It’s going to take about a month for us to clear out all the bugs, so please be patient with us. The links may not all be perfect. But I feel like this is a great start, and I’m really excited to show you what else we’re planning next!
Why Bare Marriage?
So why did we settle on the new name “bare marriage”? I felt like it fit for several reasons.
First, it’s obviously about marriage, which is a big plus!
But more importantly, the “bare” has two meanings. One relates to being naked, and thus to sex. But the second is really more important. I like to say that we’re stripping everything away and getting down to what’s really important. We’re getting rid of the toxic teachings; the maladaptive coping patterns; the stuff that makes marriage worse, and we’re getting back to what God intended.
We’re stripping everything bare to find the gold underneath! And I hope that’s what we’ll do together here.
Thanks for sticking around through all of this. Thanks for having patience with me, even as my views adapted on so many things. Thanks for not demanding perfection. I’m trying, and I hope I’m getting there, and I’m honored that you show up and read everyday!
So feel free to look around. If you see anything obviously wrong, shoot me a comment–but we do know that some things still need to be fixed over the next little while. And check out our streamlined store, too! I’ve added a “Tip Jar” so you can donate money for a cup of coffee or something, even if you don’t want to join our Patreon regularly (though I’d love it if you could join our amazing Patreon community!).
Thanks again for your patience!
Tell me what you think of our rebrand in the comments! And celebrate with us! This has been a HUGE job.