Before we get going with the regular post, this week Connor called me up with a notification he got from our podcast host!
We Hit 2,500,000 Downloads!
Thank you so much for your constant support! This is thrilling. “Listens” tend to be higher than downloads, and that number doesn’t include the people who watch on YouTube instead of listen to the podcast. So Bare Marriage is reaching more and more people, and I’m so grateful. Keep telling people about us!
One of the most frequent questions I get is about badly done research.
I’m enjoying a wonderful few weeks off, but I’ve decided that while I’m on vacation I’m going to post on Tuesdays about a great writer that I want you all to know, and on Thursdays some older podcasts that you may have missed.
This week I’ve decided to highlight a bunch of podcasts with a common theme: How research needs to be done well, and what it looks like when research and statistics are misused.
While I’m mostly offline, I’m still seeing social media messages and what’s going on in the wider world.
(And to everyone who has asked: No, I haven’t seen the Barbie movie yet. Rebecca and Connor saw it last week and loved it; I’m going with Keith, my mom, and my daughter Katie early next week!).
One of the big social media conversations that’s been happening lately is this one:
Do conservative Christians have better marriages and sex lives?
This has largely come up again because of Nancy Pearcey’s new book The Toxic War on Masculinity, and the conversation surrounding it. We’re working on a podcast on it that will likely air in April, along with an op ed and a few blog posts, but I’ve already dealt with these claims in a podcast from last year.
Refuting Josh Howerton’s claims about better marriages
Check out this podcast refuting a lot of these claims (we’ll be tackling Pearcey’s book from a new angle, but here’s a good one to start with for now), along with the op ed I did for Baptist News.
How can we address the problem with terrible survey questions?
I’ve had this question several times this week, in relation to Shaunti Feldhahn’s research, but also in relation to the question underlying Love & Respect–that men want respect while women want love. That question, incidentally, is also based on a Feldhahn survey.
I’ve got several examples that you can use to talk about this one.
First: Unconditional Respect is not a thing.
In this podcast we take on Emerson Eggerichs’ thesis about unconditional respect in three ways:
- I look at the logical fallacies in the idea.
- Cynthia Westfall joins us to look at the Greek underlying the proof text that Eggerichs uses.
- Rebecca and I dissect the survey question Shaunti Feldhahn used that the book is based on.
It’s that third section that tackles the survey question that you may find useful (although all of the podcast is great, especially Dr. Westfall).
Then we’ve got some more podcasts looking at statistics and survey methods!
In this podcast we quickly go through several of the common errors that evangelical authors and pastors often make when using–and misusing–statistics. with lots of examples!
We’ve also dissected other survey questions!
In these two podcasts (one more recently and one a while ago) we use examples of survey questions from Shaunti Feldhahn’s books For Young Women Only to show why they were really badly done–and how they led to very harmful advice being spread.
In the second half of this podcast, starting around the 31:00 minute mark, we start looking at a survey question from Feldhahn that promotes rape culture.
Here, starting around the 27:00 mark, Rebecca and I look at the claims that Feldhahn makes in her book about guys’ visual nature, and take a look at another really badly done survey question.
You may also enjoy:
- Fixed it for You: We fix a survey question so it doesn’t enable date rape. We walk you step-by-step through one of Shaunti Feldhahn’s survey questions to show how it badly it was worded, and how thus it led to inaccurate and harmful conclusions (and we fix it to show how it should have been worded instead).
- Do conservative evangelicals enjoy better sex and marriage? Our response to Josh Howerton.
- The Thalidomide podcast–why Christian books shouldn’t be harmful.
Finally, just an interesting podcast on sex!
As I was looking through older podcasts on statistics and research methods, I found this fun one asking the question, “Is Sex a Yes Space for Men?” And I thought it was one you may enjoy! If you’ve only joined the podcast recently, you may have missed it from last year.
Hope you enjoy these Bare Marriage episodes from the archives!
Remember that subscribing to the Bare Marriage podcast helps me immensely! It increases the download numbers, which can help us get sponsors and help keep the blog and podcast afloat. And it means you won’t miss anything when we’re back for the new season August 17!
Thanks so much–and let me know in the comments–what was your favourite episode recently?
I stumbled across a YouTube channel/podcast that I’ve been enjoying. It’s called “official proverbs 31 ministries”, and it’s pretty good!
It’s a woman who feels called to preach and speak, a therapist and a theologian. They have a good dynamic and keep it very respectful of everyone’s beliefs. But they cover abusive marriages and the signs and ect. It’s refreshing and very
good! The last one I listened to was the discussion about women and if they could preach. She and both men, had very good discussions on it. And they ask the question, “why would Jesus or anyone, want to silence a woman?”
I love that one! The woman is actually someone who has a whole backstory of her own narcissistic husband’s affair and how she had to struggle through the pain of her marriage ending, and she has confronted it honestly and head-on. She’s ALWAYS worth listening to!
Barbie? Really?
Have you seen it, yourself yet?
Of course not! Nor will I!
So you believe the controversy mongers and the fragile male ego/snowflake men over Rebecca and Sheila?
Okay. Noted.
THAT was your takeaway from this post?
Oh, I took much more away than that she’s recommending Barbie!
Virginia, she didn’t even recommend it! She just said she hasn’t seen it but plans to.
Have you seen it, Virginia? Or just heard the controversy over it? Because it sounds amazing, and everyone I know who has seen it has loved it. Do not just believe the people who are creating controversy.
A movie that looks at what it’s like for one gender to be an appendage of another gender, and that critically looks at the pressure put on women, is a serious film that is tackling an important topic.
Will it make some men uncomfortable? Sure. But maybe that discomfort is necessary to recognize how women are being treated.
People have very different views on that movie. I have my criticisms.
Honestly I think toy story 3 understood Barbie and Ken far better.
The agenda in Barbie is evil. Your time would be much better spent watching SOUND OF FREEDOM, which I’ve seen twice already!
Is it evil?
Or does it call out the evil and misogyny of you power hungry overlords?
It must really expose them and make them uncomfortable. Otherwise why would they make such a big deal out of it?
A couple of articles to check out:
https://julieroys.com>opinion-6-groups-fighting-human-trafficking-better-than-operation-underground-railroad
https://theexodusroad.com>trustworthy-human-trafficking-nonprofits-to-support
You can also double check each organization’s ratings on ratings sites such as charitynavigator.org.
As well, Christianity Today published an article about what anti-trafficking workers think about the film, well worth reading. Basically, while the film has thrills and inspiration, it’s a little short of the daily reality of what people actually get to do in these organizations.
And there at some serious issues with Sound of Freedom as well. While I am glad that it deals inspirationally with the topic of human trafficking, it is also good to know that it is HIGHLY fictionalized, and there are several organizations that do a MUCH better job fighting human trafficking than OUR.
What organizations do a much better job than OUR? The Tim Tebow Foundation perhaps?
Love Justice International comes to mind. Also, let me find a link to an article I read not long ago. One moment…
International Justice Mission! Fantastic organization!
Hello. I really enjoy your honest exposure of truth and lies about sex and gender. I have a book I can heartily recommend, written. By Danish Minister Bruno Knutzen: The great betrayal. It’s about the conspiracy against the woman and God’s original plan for her. Bruno examines the scriptures responsible for dogmas that women are not to speak, to teach, to pastor, to be subservient to her husband etc. A very welcome, biblically sound correction to male church exegesis. Totally in line with what you teach in your podcast.
https://brunoknutzen.dk/en/product/the-great-betrayal/#tab-description
Thank you for that recommendation, it sounds amazing!
“I used to get disgusted. Now I’m just amused.”
~ a saying from back in the day.
This is about people making emphatic, moral judgment statements without support or references then ignoring similar comments from others.
This happens all the time from peopl taking the words of self-appointed, moral police as the very oracles of God.
Virginia declared the Barbie movie’s agenda to be “evil” with no support or references and without ever watching it. We are just supposed accept her judgment statement as so. As gospel, if you will.
Granted, I did the same, as push back. Sorry if I went overboard. Leftover habit from pushing back against the Driscollites a decade ago. Talk about self-righteous moral police. Glad they don’t harass spaces like this anymore.
Bottom line, Virginia. The Barbie movie’s agenda isn’t evil just because you say so. There are deep, oppressive and cultic forces that have overtaken large portions of evangelicalism and are holding it captive, away from the words of Jesus. They use fear mongering and demonizing others, especially women, to maintain their control.
I’ve heard it over and over. Same old song and dance. And your comment is just one more example.
Is my above comment a moral judgment statement?
Perhaps. But it’s from experience as one who used to live under the oppression of some self-appointed moral police.
But then I read the words of Jesus. “My yoke is easy, My burden is light.” This made me realize that those pharisees were laying up heavy burdens on people and were false shepherds
I read that and a whole host of other things from Him and His word that led me out of the land of legalistic oppression and into the freedom that Jesus calls us all to. And it’s a land that treats women way better than the Barbie movie haters do.
I treat women of all ages and stations very well, thank you! Ask my dearly beloved friends and family, etc.! The future unborn women have always been especially significant to me! That’s why I’m an abortion abolitionist!
“I treat women of all ages and stations very well, thank you!”
Except women here in this space. You passed judgment on anyone here who has a differing opinion than you on the Barbie movie. You virtue signaled like crazy, clearly seeing yourself as far superior to anyone that choses to see Barbie, and came across as quite haughty.
I had zero interest in seeing Barbie. None-whatsoever. It simply wasn’t on my radar. However, because you have been so judgmental and disapproving of anyone who doesn’t consider Barbie as evil, I believe I will shell out the money to see it in theaters. So I thank you for inspiring my upcoming girls’ night out! 🙂
Wonderful! I’m so glad to be such an inspiration! You sound like the predictable broken record I’ve come to expect from “progressives” over the past couple of decades. Oh, great I’ll donate to Planned BARRENhood in your name, or I’ll go get drunk cuz of you or whatever the subject we’re debating happens to be at the moment. Bravo!
LOL, virginia, you absolutely do not know me one iota. (If you had ANY clue how incredibly far off base you are about me, you should be mortified!) 😂 🤣 The thing is I don’t need to advertise what I do for Christ. Actually, most of the women here I have not seen needing to do that. But I have observed them being a loving, Christ-like support system, bearing one another’s burdens well. I have seen them step in as Christ stepped into the crowd of stone-throwing men when there have been many itching to cast that first stone.
Few of us here can ask each other’s “dearly beloved friends and family, etc.” about one another’s natures, so your argument about how wonderful and supportive you believe yourself to be is moot at best. All we here can decide is based on how we each present ourselves… and what I have seen through your words is haughtiness, Pharisaical pridefulness and judgment, and an unloving, mocking attitude towards others.
Honestly, if you are inspiring so many “progressives” to donate to such organizations in your name, perhaps you should consider if your methods are communicating the love of Christ as you believe they are doing… Enjoy the rest of your week, virigina, as I will enjoy mine.
Luke 18: 10-14
Virginia, and you sound exactly like churchy women, the ones the progressives among us wanted to get away from. Dana Carvey’s Church Lady character.
Anonymous and exwife,
Virginia reminds me of a drive by comment my blog got back in the day by someone calling themselves shipwreck.
I’ve posted it here before so if you’ve seen it, don’t bother following the link.
Anyway, shipwreck was so far off-base, judging me, that it was comical, like Virginia’s way-off-target jabs.
It was so way off-target that I made a whole post about how wrong the accusations were. Not because I felt any need to defend myself. It was more about exposing how misguided and completely unhinged these folks are. And it was about how they have been completely duped by their leaders to the point that they believe all their lies against and vilifications of those not drinking their brand of Kool-Aide.
http://frombitterwaterstosweet.blogspot.com/2019/06/ship-wreck-really-loves-voddie.html
Yes to all of this! Years ago when I was reading the Bible on my own before the purity culture movement and books like Love and Respect were published, I felt so much freedom and hope from the scriptures. Those were amazing days.
But then I joined a complementarian church and I was taught to read the Bible in an entirely differently way. I was constantly told how unworthy I was. It crippled my faith and taught me that once I married, my husband was my life’s center instead of Jesus. That’s what happens when you take Jesus out of Christianity! You end up with legalism, oppression, and misogyny.
Now I’m in therapy, trying desperately to untangle all of that and trying to believe that I actually matter. If I didn’t matter, then Jesus wouldn’t have died for me. But he did, and I do matter. I’m not an unworthy pile of menstrual rags, like I was told from a quote in the OT. And just because I married doesn’t mean that Jesus stops being my savior and that my husband took that place. Jesus is enough for both of us! I don’t have to make my husband happy in order to keep my place in Heaven. I don’t! No matter what patriarchs and complementarians say. People who are eager for power aren’t following Jesus, according to Jesus’s own words!
EOF,
Some of my favorite people are Christian women who have been chewed up and spit out by oppressive, complementarian churches and who are going through the process of deconstruction. Especially the ones that, as they deconstruct, they keep turning to the Good Shepherd again and again to try to find out Who He really is rather than what legalistic groups have tried to make him into.
Keep untangling. The good news is, once you are done or mostly done, it will be hard for anyone else to bewitch and capture you again with stupid man-made doctrine.
Mara,
Thank you for the encouragement. One of the best things I’ve done for myself was to find a Christian trauma-informed therapist. She is amazing and I love her insights. I’m definitely on the path to healing and I look forward tot he day when nobody will again be able to convince me of lies using twisted scriptures.
Excuse me, I’m aware that if I gave the names of the people who have watched the movie (to save me from it), I would be totally disregarded here! I’ve heard how awful it is from responsible, caring individuals who are highly esteemed, including the 77 year old founder of Movieguide Dr. Ted Baehr. I was born in the morning, but not yesteday morning!
Dr. Ted Baehr?
So, Religious Right sources?
Perhaps Christian Nationalism sources?
Is that your leaning and where you get your info?
It may not be where you are getting your info.
But if it is, please be aware that they are far more political than they are spiritual.
Not saying this as one who has never been a participant in the Religious Right. I voted for Pat Robertson back in the day. That’s an indication of how old I am and how deeply I drank of that Kool-Aide. I’ve since realize that the the Religious Right and their off-spring, Christian Nationalism, have their own agenda that has little to nothing to do with Jesus and the Bible. They are a hardcore and corrupt political group. But they sure do have a shinny and well polished façade.
So I don’t really blame you for being taken in by them.
I only say this to let you know that I’m NOT coming at this as a Liberal Democrat. I’ve never been a Democrat in all my life. Used to be Republican. But now I’m neither. It all just looks like a big game, both sides lying to its constituents and vilifying their opponents.
Genuine followers of Christ are who I pay attention to, those who actually believe the Bible in its entirety. Not like those, such as Thomas Jefferson, who only like the Scriptures that tickle their itching ears, while discarding those they find unsavory. As to what Anonymous said about me, actually it’s due, in part, to folks being offended by me that assures me I’m doing right!
Well, Virginia.
You are a true believer in your party’s propaganda. I’ll give you that.
You are a true drinker of your political party’s Kool-aide.
You know that you are right and that I should not try to bother or confuse you with any facts including the glaring fact that your political party is just as guilty of discarding large portions of the Bible that they find unsavory. They are just as guilty as the other party or even the average guy/gal on the street who think themselves righteous.
Self-righteousness and hypocrisy abound in this fight you are in on both sides. Your side has it just as much as the bleeding heart liberals.
I hope someday you wake up and realize that you are being played and used to promote the platforms of men who have anterior motives. But I’m not holding my breath.
As I mention above, you are a true believer in the propaganda.
Btw, I don’t give two craps about the Barbie movie. I haven’t seen it. I may when it hits streaming. I was just amazed at your venom towards it and was curious as to where it came from. You answered my question.
It’s 100% political. 0% Jesus.
I’m glad I afford you a measure of amusement!
Virginia Allen, apparently that thread goo too long! I wrote you an answer and included the links I wanted, and it vanished when I tried to post it! It’ll take me a few to do it again. Look for it later this evening.
Okay, thank you!