When people say they “don’t want” sex tonight, what do they mean? We talked about this on the Bare Marriage podcast last week, but I'd like to elaborate on part of it today. I think we often get confused when people talk about this. They’ll say,“Well, sometimes I have...
"So you think it's okay if women just don't have sex, then?" Whenever we talk about how sex should be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and that the obligation sex message is toxic, the reply we get is something along these lines--without obligation,...
What happens to your ability to orgasm after menopause? In the last few months I’ve talked to three women in my social circle who say that orgasm has completely stopped once they started menopause, though it was pretty easy before. For one woman it’s been ten years...
When we first wrote The Great Sex Rescue, and started talking about some of the terrible things that we found in evangelical sex books, we didn't know which themes were going to catch on. I actually thought it was going to be Every Man's Battle calling women methadone...
It's June 9, which means it's International Lovemaking Day! (If some of you don't get that, it's 6/9. I feel like some 13-year-old boy giggling at a sexual innuendo, but there you go). Dan Purcell, the creator of the Intimately Us app, was a guest on the podcast last...
How do our evangelical sex books contribute to women feeling responsible for men's sexual sins? Anxious Bench, a blog on Patheos, has just published one of my guest posts where I talk about how evangelical sex advice kind of peaked in the 1970s with Tim LaHaye and The...
Is the next thing that's going to damage sex in evangelical circles the way that we're treating porn? Now, please understand: I think there is no excuse for watching porn. Porn is the biggest driver of sex trafficking. Even if the porn you're watching is "consensual"...
We've been taking a romp through history looking at views of sex in different periods. We've looked at the Roman world; the medieval period; and the Victorian period. Today we're jumping forward to the 1970s. On the podcast this week we'll be taking a little bit of a...
We are continuing our romp through the ages with sex in Victorian times! Throughout the month of April I've wanted to look at how sex was seen at different periods in history, so that we could figure out how we got where we are now--and so that we could see that our...
What did they believe about sex during the medieval period? What did they do that was weird? And what did they have in common with us? In April we're looking at a sex through the ages series. Sometimes we think of sex as biological, hard-wired,...
How does understanding Rome's view of sex impact how we should interpret Paul's writings in 1 Corinthians? We're starting a series in the month of April of views of sex throughout history, and I started yesterday looking at 8 weird things about ancient Rome and sex....
How did different eras in time treat sex? I'd like to spend April doing some romps through history looking at how we've seen libido, the role of sex in marriage and culture, women's sexuality, and more. Sometimes we get to assuming that our way of thinking about sex...
What do you do if you've lost that spark and you want to be turned on by your husband again? I thought we'd switch gears a bit today and focus on a question that I get from lots of women: they want to be turned on by their husbands, but they're just not anymore. It's...
Sometimes, the way we talk about the purpose of sex makes it clear that we don't understand the beauty of sex at all. And that needs to stop! Just a quick post today (or what I hope will be a quick post) with a comment about a news story in the Christian world that...
The shootings in Atlanta this week are all too tragic--but I believe they are also a logical extension to how evangelicalism too often talks about sex, porn, and women. First, before I delve into this too much, these shootings were racially motivated. He killed mostly...