Something Precious from a Reader: Hope for the Future

by | Mar 5, 2021 | Bare Marriage | 15 comments

We started out this week telling you we were hopeful, and we were.

Then The Great Sex Rescue launched–and it’s doing so well! The reviews are coming in, and the sales are so strong. Thank you. 


But we’ve also been really discouraged at the reaction from other stakeholders, and we shared that on the podcast yesterday. In return, a reader sent me a beautiful email, pointing to the future. She did it with plenty of pictures of her daughter, to make a lovely point. I want to share that email with you, but not her pictures, because that’s not appropriate. So I’ll substitute pictures of my own kids at that age. I hope, though, that the point still remains, because this touched us deeply yesterday. 

And thank you to everyone who encouraged us!

Hi Sheila, Becca, and Joanna,

Sisters…it’s a lot.

Like you, I don’t know where to start.

I don’t want to make any attempt to “fix” your grief.

But here is my favorite translation of my favorite Scripture, and my prayer for you this year:

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭27:13-14‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

Also I say to you from the depths of my mommy heart – PLEASE.REST. Even Jesus observed the Sabbath and took naps. TGSR is out, the Good Guys’ Guide is in, GO LAY DOWN.

Finally, I know you have to count the losses, but if I can add into your equation…

Katie Hope for the Future

This is Shylah Eve. She is a real little girl. “

Shylah” means “wise and strong in the Lord”, and “Eve” means “enlivening”. She is two and a half years old. Her favorite foods are pancakes and strawberries. With bright blue eyes and an infectious giggle, she is very precious to her family. She loves to color and be fancy. She has a lot of nicknames: Shy-Berry, Berry-Boo, Boosky, Gremlina, Her Very Berryness, Trouble-makin’-girl, Shiny Girl…..

Katie 4 Hope for the Future

Shylah will be working through The Whole Story when it’s time for a comprehensive look at her body and sexuality. She will get the Good Girls Guide as a young woman. Her mom has read The Great Sex Rescue and will be confronting these ideas head on, directly, over and over, with Shylah and her brothers, in the hopes that they won’t need to read it themselves except as part of church history.

Katie 4 Hope for the Future

Shylah will not be attending any church or youth group that supports marital hierarchy or promotes purity culture. She is going to learn about the fruits of the Spirit, and the fruits of the flesh, and how to watch for them in every situation, from every person, regardless of their station.

Katie 4 Hope for the Future

When she has questions about her role in God’s kingdom, I will be able to point her to healthy and safe resources, many of them yours.

Katie at 3 at Christmas

I am going to use your words as one of the tools to protect her silly, carefree, shamefree self, lovingly made to be perfect and whole.

She is among my most precious treasures. I share her with you so to those harmed, you might add not only those rescued, but those who will be SPARED.

All my love,

We were just so touched, and we needed that right now! I’m going to go read the reviews again (which are wonderful) and take a bit of time off today before another rash of interviews starts this afternoon. And then I’ll rest this weekend (and so will Rebecca!).

Thank you again for your support. I do think we’re changing the conversation–thanks to you guys, too!

"A groundbreaking look into what true, sacred biblical sexuality is intended to be. A must-read." - Rachael Denhollander

What if you're NOT the problem with your sex life?

What if the messages that you've been taught have messed things up--and what if there's a way to escape these toxic teachings?

It's time for a Great Sex Rescue.

Great Sex Rescue

Written by

Sheila Wray Gregoire


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Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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  1. Estelle

    Such a lovely letter and such hope for the next generation. Let the healing begin.
    And thank you for being respectful of sweet Shylah Eve and posting pictures of your two instead.

  2. M

    Tears in my eyes!
    The same is true for me and my family!
    This is changing my conversations with everyone… and I’m a talker; I have a lot of conversations:)

  3. Nathan

    What a beautiful, hope-filled story. All the best to Shayla and all little girls and boys everywhere!

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      True story—Connor loves the name Shayla, but Rebecca insists they can’t name any future daughter that because Shayla is just too close to Sheila and that’s weird.

      • Nathan

        I can see that. Although I once knew three brothers named Tom, Ted and Tim. Tom and Ted were twins, and it got a bit confusing at times.

  4. Kristen

    That was beautiful.

  5. Amber

    I could have written this letter (albeit not as beautifully). I have two girls. You have changed their lives.

  6. Nathan

    Those pictures of Shayla show somebody filled with happiness and the innocent joy of being alive. I hope that this joy continues for her and everybody else for the rest of our days.

    • Maria Bernadette

      Those are pictures of Shiela’s daughters! She substituted the pics instead of publishing little Shayla’s image. Says so near the beginning of the article, before the letter starts.
      Speaking of, this was really inspiring. Thank you to the woman who wrote this, and thank you l, Sheila, for sharing it.

  7. Meghan

    That’s beautiful. I know the stuff I’ve learned over the last year (ish) has influenced the way I interact with my daughter. For one, Mama now inserts snarky commentary in bedtime stories. 😉

  8. Melissa

    Part of me wants to know who is making you feel bad so I can go fight them. LOL But that’s probably just my pent-up energy from being stuck in the house for so long!
    What your book is doing is setting a boundary. When a boundary is set, those who it affects tend to push back. Sometimes in an extreme way. But you three ladies are not alone in holding the boundary. We’re all there with you. Standing firm and saying “No, we will no longer tolerate this treatment, not for ourselves, not for future generations.”
    Armor up, girls. The revolution is starting.

  9. K

    I’ve been having similar thoughts as Shylah’s mama. I have three girls and one boy, and they will grow up with good information (as much as their dad and I can help it). You ladies are not alone in this fight. Thank you for leading the way.

  10. Chris

    Sheila, are you getting nasty grams from Emerson and Shaunti?
    You are aren’t you.

    • Chris

      That crèche looks really cute. It’s one of my favorite parts of Christmas.

  11. Anon

    What a beautiful letter. And how encouraging to think of all the youngsters who are going to grow up with wholesome & healthy attitudes toward sex & marriage thanks to this book!


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