I Want You. I Need You. I Hope You Like Me Back!

by | Feb 7, 2022 | Sex, Uncategorized | 8 comments

In this case, 2/3 may be bad!

I’ve got that song by Meatloaf (Whoops! I originally wrote Meatball) going through my head–“I want you, I need you”–because I want to tell you about our Launch Team for The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and the totally revamped Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex!

Uh oh.

A bunch of you have already tuned out.

“Launch Team”? Teams do WORK. Who wants to work? That sounds yucky.

What if I told you that the “work” was really only about writing a great review on Amazon/Goodreads?

And sharing some social media graphics and telling friends, if you want.

But that last part’s totally up to you.

That’s not so scary now anymore, right?

And what if I told you that we want to give you some goodies, too?

Keith and I will be doing exclusive Facebook Lives for our Launch Team every week between now and our March 15 launch! We’ll have some Q&A “Have lunch with Sheila”s where I’ll hang out eating my lunch, and you can drop by and just chat! And Rebecca will likely jump in too.

And the first 100 people to  write a review for each book (so 200 in all) get a FREE additional paperback of the book (or some other goodie if you’re outside of North America).

And what if I told you that if you join the launch team, you’ll get your copy of the book, or books, right away, instead of having to wait until March 15?

Seriously, if you’re going to order the book, or books, anyway, this is a no brainer!

Order The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex or The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and then send us your receipt. And you’ll get an invite to our launch team and get an electronic copy you can read ahead of time! Plus you’ll have a bunch of exclusive time to talk to me and Rebecca, ask your questions, and just hang out with other people who want to change the conversation about sex in the evangelical world, too.

The All New Guides to Great Sex!

Launch March 15!

Imagine building a great sex life–from the ground up!

What would it look like to build a picture of sex that was MUTUAL, INTIMATE, and PLEASURABLE FOR BOTH–with no harmful messages?

Welcome to the The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and the ALL NEW Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.

Pre-Order Now! (Helps us out a ton)

And if you email your receipt, we’ll send you a special pre-order BONUS

And that’s not all–

No, you won’t get a set of kitchen knives or a lifetime supply of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat.

But we do have a bonus that isn’t even in the books!

You’ll get the Evangelical Sex Report Card!

Based on our surveys of both men and women, we pull back the curtain on what’s going on in evangelical bedrooms.

  • Find out how we score on foreplay, orgasm rates, frequency, sexual pain, and more!
  • Discover the element of sex where evangelicals score an A–and the one where we score an F.
  • Plus learn whether or not lust is REALLY every man’s battle–with bonus material that isn’t even in the books!

When you forward us your pre-order receipt, you’ll get our pre-order bonus–the report card–and an invite to join the launch group!


Evangelical Sex report Card

Think of these Guides to Great Sex as building great sex from the ground up.

Where The Great Sex Rescue pointed out where we had gone wrong, and invited us to reframe how we saw sex, these guides build something healthy from the beginning.

What would it look like if we tried to paint a picture of great sex without building on any harmful messages? What would it look like if we built it properly in the first place?

I actually wrote the first edition of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex back in 2012. It still scored very well on our rubric–47/48. But I still wasn’t happy with it. Even though I talked about women with higher sex drives; consent; how you’re not responsible for your husband’s porn use, etc., I still felt like in the end it was far too gendered an approach to sex. Since I’ve learned so much more about libido and how women actually see sex from our huge surveys, I felt desperate to revise the book, even though it’s always sold very well.

When Zondervan contracted us to write The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex, I asked if I could rewrite The Good Girl’s Guide. And I did. It’s completely new! No more gendered chapters. Much more on orgasm and the sexual response cycle (more on that in this week’s podcast, too!). And a more nuanced look at libido.

Imagine if we could talk about sex the right way–from the beginning!

Sheila Gregoire is basically the “Dr. Ruth” for the church. And what a gift she is! Sadly, there is a lot that Christian women need to unlearn about sex from what they’ve been taught in the church or in Christian books. Gregoire offers a thoroughly researched, biblically informed guide to great sex that is possibly more practical than conversations with your closest girlfriend. And she recaptures the meaningfulness, intimacy, and fun that sex is designed to offer to your marriage. Every engaged and married woman needs a copy of this book!

Aimee Byrd

author of Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

And pre-ordering is a no-brainer…because:

When you pre-order, you’re guaranteed the lowest price. At Amazon, they lower the price the more people buy the book. And you pay the lowest price between now and launch! So by pre-ordering, you’re helping to lower the price AND you’re guaranteed the lowest price there is!

Finally, a book that can guide us, men, into becoming what we have long pretended to be. A wildly good lover! This book is radically helpful on the journey toward becoming sexually healthy and fully embodied. Sheila and Keith have written a must-read for anyone who has previously had sex, is currently having sex or would like to have sex in the future! Thank you for this wise guide!

Andrew J. Bauman, LMHC

cofounder and director of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma

The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex is a life (in the bedroom) changing resource to help couples close the gap between what they hope for from sex and what they actually experience. Written by a bestselling sex expert and her physician husband, this hope-infused, medically savvy book will empower men to love their wives as equal partners in all things amorous, as well as help them understand what’s really going on between the sheets of sexual passion and sexual struggle. Here you’ll find fresh perspective and compelling rationale for why so much of what we’ve been taught about sex is as unhealthy as it is unhelpful. It may make you mad (when you realize you’ve been misled), but it will bring you joy. It may make you blush, but it will heal your shame. And best of all, it will deepen your marital intimacy at every level—emotional, spiritual, and physical.

Michael John Cusick

Sexual addiction expert and author of Surfing for God

Seriously, I’d love to have you pre-order, and we would LOVE to have as many of you as possible join our Launch Team!

We’ve been saying for three years now that we desperately want to change the evangelical conversation about sex. We started that with The Great Sex Rescue–and so many of you have spoken up and talked to your churches and friends and counselors and pastors and it’s working!

But we need to keep the momentum going. Quite frankly, we need new books to start being the “go-to sex books” so that more couples aren’t hurt. 

We need to tell the Christian community WHY so many newlywed brides experience vaginismus–and the very simple mind-shifts that can lower that rate.

We need to teach both couples that lust is NOT every man’s battle, and that the objectification of women and the male sex drive are not one and the same. 

We need to spread messages that are healthy, so that the harm stops and couples thrive!

When you pre-order it, you help us so much. And if you're going to order it anyway, then join the launch team, too, and get your hands on it early!

Not interested in the launch team? You can still pre-order and get the bonuses (including that Evangelical Sex Report Card!)

And here’s where I start to sing again: Did you know that pre-ordering really helps the authors?

I’m going to be honest. So much of the success of new books depends on how it does straight out of the gate. When books have “buzz”, then more news stories will cover it. Amazon orders more copies. The rankings go up, and that encourages other bookstores to order it. 

And so on, and so on. 

Books that do well right away tend to keep doing well. So the stronger start we have, the better. And when you pre-order, you start the momentum! 

These both make awesome gifts for anyone you know who is about to get married. But they’re also great for couples who have been married for a while (maybe YOU!) and just want a more complete picture of what sex is supposed to be–PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, and SPIRITUALLY!

So I hope you join us! We’re doing our first Facebook Live in the group tomorrow night, and I’d love to see you there!

Gregoire Guides to Great Sex
Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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  1. Boone

    Sheila, it’s Meatloaf and I’m going to have that song in my head all day now.
    Another line from one of his songs that you might find appropriate is, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”
    Keep on rockin!!!

    • Mara R

      Did she seriously call him Meatball and I missed it?
      I knew who she was talking about and didn’t even realize the mistake.
      That’s funny!
      Please don’t edit that out!
      We can all use a little Meatball in our lives!

      • Sheila Wray Gregoire

        I just looked and I did. 🙂 That’s super hilarious. I will leave it at your request. 🙂

  2. A2bbethany

    Since I’m only on mewe, and no other social media, (other than a mom app where advertising isn’t allowed.) I don’t think I can be Any help that way, but I’m hopeful for changes in my circle.(my verbally abusive sister, is actually trying therapy! I’m shocked 5x over, Because I never saw her admitting there might be a problem.)

    The guy who took me on my first date(and that was a big deal with my anxiety at the time) is getting married in May. I found out because his GF was renting from family. And I’d LOVE to give them these books! But…….1st I’m technically an ex-love interest(?) And haven’t seen him since. So it will be odd for me to give books on sex!(lol)

    2. Current financial situation doesn’t have any spending money for that. Cause I’m giving birth that month, and we went a month without income recently.(thanks covid…no income but my toddler bonded deeper with daddy!)
    I just want his relationship to start out as good as mine did!

  3. This is a Pseudonym

    Would you be willing to share how you arrived at a score of 47/48 for the old version of Good Girl’s Guide? Who did the scoring?

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      We scored it the same way we did the others. We were VERY generous to the other books–for instance, if a book even mentioned that a woman could have a higher sex drive than her husband, they got full marks for that, even if all the anecdotes and the advice were about husbands having higher sex drives.

      We want to create a new scorecard that is for post-Great Sex Rescue books, where it’s not enough to merely mention something, but you have to actively teach the healthy stuff, and if you even mention the unhealthy you lose marks. Had we scored The Great Sex Rescue that way, it would have scored lower (as would other books). That’s why I desperately wanted to rewrite it. Even though I did talk about women with a higher sex drive, I still presented libidos and sexual needs in very gendered terms, and I’m just not comfortable with that now because it’s simply not accurate. And even though I would have gotten marks on the consent point (because unlike the 13 other books, I actually used the word consent), I didn’t talk about it enough or explain what non-consent would look like (and so I greatly expanded that as well).

      In the original scoring, we gave books marks merely for “showing up”, so to speak, on certain topics, and I just wanted to do better than merely “show up”. I wanted to make sure the whole message was in line with what I teach now and with what our research shows.

  4. Jeannean Berglund

    I would like to purchase a copy of the Evangelical Sex Report Card. Is that possible?

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      It’s available as a preorder bonus, so if you purchase either The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex or The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and send us your receipt you’ll get it ASAP!


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