On Christianity Today, Plagiarism Culture, and Feeling Erased

by | Mar 18, 2022 | Uncategorized | 33 comments

Christianity Today and Sexual Harassment
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This has been a week of great thrills and great disappointments.

Thankfully, the thrills were REALLY GOOD. Our new books The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex launched, and they’re doing really well! Thank you for your support. Let’s make these the go-to wedding shower gifts from now on!

The disappointments have been things that make me feel rather sick for evangelicalism.

Christianity Today announced that two senior managers had sexually harrassed women for years–decades in one case–and nothing was done about it.

The flagship magazine for evangelicalism apparently had a sexual harrassment problem itself, even as it’s supposed to be covering the news. Read all about the sexual harassment here.

They commissioned an independent investigation into the allegations, and also wrote their own investigative story, on how Mark Galli, the editor in chief, and another senior marketing manager were inappropriate with women.

One of the problems was that the head of HR also golfed with both senior managers, so how were women supposed to feel like their concerns would be taken seriously? And, indeed, they didn’t. So the women in the workplace formed an informal alliance to protect each other. But the harassment didn’t stop. They were often told, if they did complain, that Galli was of a different generation, and he didn’t mean anything by it. But should this be an excuse in a workplace?

I feel so badly for these women.

But what concerns me for evangelicalism as a whole is this: If senior managers were sexually harrassing women, how can we have any confidence that Christianity Today treated women well in its coverage?

Since this broke I’ve been watching story after story from women drop on Twitter of stories that Galli spiked about sexism or sexual harassment, or stories that were slanted in the wrong direction. So many people have asked if this influenced the slant of The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill Podcast, which rightfully called out Driscoll’s misogyny, but refused to note that it was quite typical of evangelicalism–and the worst things that he said about women were echoed in our best-sellers! (A point that we made in The Great Sex Rescue before the podcast even broke).

Kristin Kobes DuMez wrote about a story being spiked. Meghan Tschanz wrote a wonderful Instagram update, with slides, which is worth perusing. There were so many others, but I’ll post Meghan’s words here:

 

 

An article came out from Christianity Today telling on their own culture of sexism and sexual harassment in the workplace. They claim, rightly so, that this behavior is common among evangelical culture– they are absolutely right.

They report on two men, in particular, former editor in chief Mark Galli and former advertising director Olatokunbo Olawoye.

I had the opportunity to pitch an article to the accused Mark Galli at a writer’s retreat in 2019. I summed it up as “We can’t help women overseas until we change the way we treat women in our own churches.”

I argued, “I think some fail to realize that limiting women’s voices in their [own Christian] institutions is actually contributing to the inequality we see globally.”

The argument was an indictment against evangelical practices of sexism that led to the abuse of women.

His response was asking me to essentially “prove it” saying “the studies I’ve seen, in fact, seem to say that women in what’s called soft complementarianism feel the happiest in their marriages, vs. egalitarian marriages or strict complementarian marriages”

I didn’t have the words or research at that point to back up my claim as well as I would have liked.

I do now.

A 2015 study done by Peter Warren at the University of South Carolina shows the fundamental “male headship” in religion is a risk factor in Intimate Partner Violence.

Abuse, both domestic and sexual, is about power and control– and arises from unequal power dynamics. Psychoanalyst Lyn Yonack says “when someone rapes, assaults, or harasses, the motivation stems from the perpetrator’s need for dominance and control.”

According to a medically reviewed paper by Psych Central “Abusers use domestic violence to gain power and control over their targets.”

Here’s some of the evidence that Mark Galli requested in order for my article to be considered.

Turns out, Mark Galli himself was proof.

It turns out that Mark Galli sexually harassed and inappropriately touched employees– and that when those incidents were reported nothing was done.

Those women’s voices were silenced, allowing the abuse to continue.

I stand by what I said in 2019, we can’t address injustice against women globally until we first get serious about addressing it in our own evangelical churches.

We say we are better, but I think this article and the countless like it show that we aren’t.

Patriarchy, even “soft-complementarianism” endorsed by Galli in his response to me, is dangerous.

The power differentials it espouses lead to sexual harassment and abuse, unequal pay, the silencing of women, and all-around injustice against women.

Galli, do you believe me now?

Meghan Tshanz

Instagram

When I look back at what Christianity Today has chosen NOT to report on (including our ground-breaking study of 20,000 evangelical women–the largest that’s ever been done), you have to wonder if there’s a bigger problem there.

Do evangelical pastors even understand plagiarism?

The second thing that’s been bothering me this week is this tweet from Pastor Josh Howerton, Senior Pastor from Lakepointe Church in Dallas. He wrote:

For those who can’t read it, I’ll post it again:

PREACHER QUESTION:

how do you clarify in a sermon that a statement / idea didn’t come from you when you got it from someone you don’t want to attribute by name because it would come off as an endorsement and you don’t want to point your people their direction?

Let’s be clear what he’s saying: I like something someone said, and I want to use it to make my sermon better. But I don’t want to mention their name, because then my congregants might look them up. So what do I do?

Think about this question in any academic or business setting. 

The answer is obvious: you cite your source. To not do so is plagiarism.

And yet what were the majority of replies advising him to do? Preface it with something like:

  • I once read…
  • Another theologian once said…
  • I have heard it said…

All of those things are stealing. They are dishonest.

This makes me wonder how educated many of our pastors actually are, because I can tell you that in a secular university, this is the Evil of all Evils. You do not plagiarize. You cite your sources. Always. 

Only in evangelicalism could we think that doctrinal purity trumps morality.

To use someone’s words without citing them is simply not allowed. I have been the victim of this–when I became She Who Must Not Be Named when I started calling out other authors. Gary Thomas, who used to cite me for many things, stopped citing me for those exact things and claimed them as his own because now I was viewed with suspicion in the evangelical world for saying that women matter just as much as men.

In this vein of thinking, it is more moral NOT to cite someone you disagree with than to cite them, because that way God’s Truth (which obviously you possess) will not be tarnished. Woe to those who call good, evil, and evil, good.

Recently many Christian bloggers and podcasters who have come out against The Great Sex Rescue have started talking about vaginismus–which is wonderful. But they are using our stats and our research without mentioning us. Again, in academia, this would not be allowed. In evangelicalism, it’s considered the right thing to do, because we wouldn’t want anyone to hear of their name and look them up!

The night before I saw Josh’s tweet I was reading in Exodus 22:

If anyone grazes their livestock in a field or vineyard and lets them stray and they graze in someone else’s field, the offender must make restitution from the best of their own field or vineyard.

Exodus 22:5

If you benefit from the work that someone else has done, then you owe restitution.

In this case, it’s quite simple. Just cite your source. If you don’t agree with them on something, you can always say, “Look, I don’t agree with 90% of what Sheila Gregoire says, but this really resonated with me…” But you still cite your source. 

The fact that so many evangelical pastors were in that thread and were trying to figure out how not to have to give someone credit for work they had done, while still allowing you to use it? Mind-boggling to me. Do morals not matter anymore?

It honestly has been a good week for me personally.

But both of these incidents leave me with the very strong impression that there is a big morality issue in evangelicalism. We are calling good evil, and evil good. There is such a basic misunderstanding of how we are supposed to function as believers, and that is slanting what we are hearing from our pulpits and our magazines.

We deserve better, but we will only get it when we stop putting up with evil, and start calling it out. I think we can make a change. And the sales of the new books is showing me that! We are changing the conversation about sex in the evangelical world (and the fact that people are talking about vaginismus finally, even if they don’t credit me, is still a change in the right direction). We are talking about the orgasm gap. We are saying sex is for women too.

But it’s because we’ve been loud, and because we’ve said, “we’re not accepting bad teaching anymore.”

May we continue to do so, loudly, and then, perhaps, our institutions will finally do the right thing.

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of To Love, Honor and Vacuum

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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33 Comments

  1. Andrea

    I mentioned in a comment some weeks ago how Dave and Ashley Willis mentioned vaginismus in one of their marriage YouTube videos, but mixed things up by recommending pelvic floor therapy to women who can’t orgasm. I didn’t think then to do this, but I am now and I’d like to call all of Sheila’s many fans to join me in this: when you see others talk about her work without citing her, mention her in the comments!!! I’m gonna go back to look for that video now, correct them on mixing up vaginismus and anorgasmia, and tell all of their fans that Sheila Gregoire has some great resources on this.

    Reply
  2. Kay

    I keep coming back to Jonathan Haidt’s moral foundations. These folks have authority/subordination stacked as more important than care/harm. Respecting authority (aka, maintaining power) is more important to them than the harm they cause, and so they excuse the harm in order to uphold their authority. They most definitely don’t want to even hint that the people they are quoting might have some authority in their area of expertise. So they have no problem with the harm their plagiarism causes, and they don’t care who their toxic teaching harms either, because they see **their interpretation of scripture** as authoritative as God himself. There is no room for humility when you’ve made an idol out of your hermeneutics.

    I see the precise opposite pattern in the gospels. Jesus always subverted harmful authorities in order to provide care for those that had been harmed. As you always say, Sheila, look to the fruit.

    Reply
    • Nathan

      Kay, that’s a good point. I don’t believe that Jesus had a problem with authority or power structures per se, but he DID have a problem with ABUSIVE power structures. He always put caring for people first.

      And on the flip side, it can sometimes be even worse. Not only is it “protect the power structure at all costs”, it’s sometimes “protect the PEOPLE in the power structure at all costs”.

      When people get close to saying “Criticizing me is criticizing God Himself”, that’s a very bad thing.

      Reply
    • Cynthia

      EXACTLY! I’m increasingly noticing that a really big religious difference isn’t between different doctrines or even between traditional religions. Instead, it is between those who see God and morality as being about maintaining authority and power structures, and those who see God and morality as being about caring for others and not doing harm in order to protect even the powerless. That’s why we see similarities in problems across different traditional religions and even in some highly authoritarian organizations that aren’t traditional religions.

      Reply
      • CMT

        Spot on. What’s more important – orthodoxy or orthopraxy?

        Reply
      • Sheila Wray Gregoire

        Yes, Rebecca and I have been talking about this a lot lately too. There’s a big divide on just doing the right thing!

        Reply
  3. Phil

    Sheila, I am very sorry that you have to deal with these supposed Christians who plagiarize. Before I digress let me say I agree with what you have said and I hope things change. Here is my deal to expand on an exchange we had previously on this topic. You know what the restitution will be? God will spread the message Sheila. The people will find you. Not YOU the MESSAGE! I know you dont care if they find you…you want them to find the message. AND THEY WILL. These plagiarism people are planting seeds not only with their audience but within themselves. They are quoting truth! Truth will prevail! EVEN THE TRUTH CAN COME FROM A LIAR! Today I am am in immense gratitude just having stepped out of a 2 year rough slog. The gratitude has been building. This morning in the hotel I was staying at the woman who is the breakfast lady was super joyful to everyone welcoming and guiding and saying have a wonderful day and then She would sing. “I want Jesus”. And the people were all buzzing talking to each other and many did not even know one another. The 2 year slog I just came out of? Let me tell you it was tough and temptation for me to destroy what I have was at times LARGE. But some how my family came out stronger and my relationship with my wife and kids is beyond awesome and I am filled with incredible gratitude. Bubbling up today with tears of joy while I rock out with my God blowing out my ear drums further…yes I am bipolar and yes I am aware that maybe I am in HIGH – but if bipolarsim brings me closer to my God and Jesus then AMEN! I’M AWAKE, I’M ALIVE – Reference Skillet – SOMEONE PLEASE PLAGIARIZE ME!

    Reply
  4. Anon

    My husband is a pastor, and if he wants to use a quote but doesn’t want to be seen to be recommending all that author’s work, he simply states that he doesn’t agree with or recommend all that this author says, but in this case, he feels the following quote is helpful – and then quotes it. I don’t see why other preachers can’t do that.

    I couldn’t read the whole of that Christianity today report – it was making me physically sick, as so many of the actions and justifications for those actions remind me of how people have justified abuse to me in the past. But something that struck me was the way the women always end up getting blamed for ‘misreading’ situations. As if a woman has no right to feel uncomfortable at being touched or spoken to in a certain way because the perpetrator didn’t MEAN any wrong. It reminded me of when I was a kid and sometimes the school bully would attempt to justify bullying another kid by saying it was ‘just a joke’ and the teacher always used to respond ‘it’s not a joke unless you both find it funny’. Maybe Galli & Co should listen to that teacher’s wisdom – their behaviour isn’t appropriate unless both parties think it is. They don’t get to unilaterally decide.

    And for all those people on the sidelines who knew what was happening and did nothing – if you know abuse is happening and you take no action to stop it, you are just as guilty as the abuser.

    Reply
    • Laura

      That’s awesome of your husband to credit others in his sermons. Of all the churches I’ve attended over the years, I haven’t witnessed pastors plagiarizing. They seem to give credit where credit is due. It’s most likely the megachurch celeb pastors and the Christian youtube celebrities who do the plagiarizing.

      Reply
    • CMT

      “It’s not a joke unless you both find it funny”

      Exactly. This is the rule in my house with my young kids. “It’s only a game if everyone is having fun.” And “everyone gets to decide how they are touched.” They are 6 and 9. They get it (heck even the 2 year old can figure it out). Why can so many grown adults not grasp this?

      Reply
  5. Laura

    I read the article linked to Kristin Kobes Du Mez’s name and thought it was very excellent. She asked an interesting question, “Why would the Bible instruct a husband to assert authority over a wife, usurping Christ’s own authority over his servants?” This question is similar to one I’ve asked myself over the years: If God is love and sent His only Son to give up His life for our salvation, why would this same God put women in a subservient position?
    For years I’ve always suspected that this doctrine of male headship/female submission factors in with abuse. I’ve witnessed it firsthand in my former marriage. Women I know who have been in abusive marriages have said a lot of the abuse was due to their husbands insisting they are in charge and wives must submit to them.
    What troubles me the most is women who push this doctrine! They push it in women’s Bible studies and marriage ministries.
    The sexual harassment many women at CT faced just appalls me. It’s not just in the secular world, but also rampant in Christian organizations and churches. I’ve been a victim of sexual harassment in the workplace and when I was a teenager. You would think after the trial of Clarence Thomas back in the 1990’s that sexual harassment in the workplace would decrease.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      I think Kristin’s question is excellent, too. If you think of your own case, Laura, as a single woman you’re to follow after Jesus and seek His will and listen to His voice. In this thinking, though, if you were to marry, you would now have to stop listening to Jesus, and listen to your husband instead. Like it would be a demotion.

      And Paul wrote that we have no mediator anymore, only Jesus! So this seems very ungodly to me.

      Reply
  6. Anon

    Plagiarism is concerning. It is a sign of unethical behaviour. I would observe that it really is about power. Public leaders of churches but also, governments do unethical things to stay on power. I would use as an example a leader where I live. He has been found guilty of ethics violations multiple times. I have discussed this with a friend who votes for this leader. Apparently, she feels all leaders do these things and “what is the problem, it isn’t illegal”. As a licensed engineer, I was required to study law and ethics as it pertained to my profession. I had to pass a law and ethics exam and demonstrate ethical behaviour and competence in order to obtain my license. This was over and above obtaining my university degree. If I violate ethics or law, I will be required to give up my license and refrain from practicing engineering for a time until I demonstrate that I will follow law and ethics. If the violation is grievous enough, I could lose my right to practice entirely.

    It baffles me that leaders, whether religious or political are not required to understand and live by ethics. Yes, they are human and make mistakes but mistakes have consequences for a reason.

    And if most public examples of leaders are behaving in an unethical manner, have we just become acclimatized to this behaviour and we overlook it? “They all do it.”

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yes! It really bothers me that the ethics for my husband’s profession–a physician–are much more stringent than for pastors.

      Reply
      • Bre

        My high school AP classes were much more stringent on citing sources! We literally got lectures on intellectual property and creating works cited pages at the start of every year! I feel like something is very wrong when we are holding children to stronger standards than grown men.

        Reply
        • Laura

          I’m a graduate student and my professors are very strong about us citing our sources. At the beginning of the semester, we were lectured twice about plagiarism. The church needs to hold to a higher standard when it comes to that.

          Reply
          • Emily

            Also a grad student and we get the same information every class in plagiarism and citing sources. Just turned a rough draft for my research project with feedback on better citing sources – I was missing page numbers on a few things.

            The church should be above reproach and hold themselves to the same standards. I *think* my pastors/church leaders do a decent job of giving credit where it’s due but I could he totally wrong.

        • Sheila Wray Gregoire

          Exactly! And all the comments on Twitter were about how he could get around having to cite anyone.

          Reply
  7. Sandy

    I recently stsrted following a FB site called ‘Hot, Holy, and Humorous ‘ (I believe!)…it struck me after I read one particular post that the words used were almost verbatim from your work..I tried to find the specific post to link for you, but had no luck. It should be noted that you were not cited at all in the post. Perhaps I’m seeing things that aren’t there, but it may be worth looking into. If I am incorrect, I apologize for speaking in error! However, I know that many are plagiarizing you right now, and it caught my attention! Thank you for all you do Sheila! As a new reader/listener I’m catching up on past podcasts, and reading all of your books! I am so glad that God has called you to bring attention to the seemingly Pharasaical teachings of the modern Evangelical church!

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yes, this is a big problem I’m having everywhere. I used to be friends with Hot, Holy, and Humorous, but she panned The Great Sex Rescue without reading it (and she even admitted she hadn’t read it). It’s very sad.

      Reply
      • Jill

        I became very disillusioned with Julie Parker after I read her post panning TGSR (when she hadn’t read it). I used to really like her blog, but now feel I can’t trust her, which is so disappointing.

        Reply
  8. Rebecca Bourne

    In the news in Australia today, Hillsong founder Brian Houston apparently engaged in some behaviour that “breached the code of conduct” – inappropriate text messages to a church employee, issues with alcohol, etc.
    These are issues that completely disqualify a person from leadership. Some of these issues came to light almost 10 years ago, but Houston only stepped down recently to deal with a court case over his father.

    What happened to church elders and leaders being “above reproach”?

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yes, I read about that too. So infuriating. Absolutely infuriating.

      Reply
  9. Sarah

    The CT stuff reminds me of the John Lasseter and the broader culture at Pixar stuff that came out a few years ago (I read about what happened at Pixar in detail). It was exactly the same kind of things and also brushed off in exactly the same way … ‘he’s just friendly’ (yeah, waaay too friendly) you’re misinterpreting it’ (definitely not) ‘he’s just that generation’ (tripe. My boss is 73 and would never dream of being like this.) I know ‘gaslighting’ is an overused term, but it definitely seems appropriate to the kind of workplace culture that encourages women to question their own judgement.

    Reply
    • Anon

      Yeah, that ‘generation’ thing makes me mad – a 70 year old guy in my mother’s church got into trouble assaulting a woman in the street and a lot of folk in the church, including my mother excused him as ‘men his age don’t realise times have changed’. So he tried the same thing on with me, and I told him it was assault & if he did it again, he’d be back down the police station. Funny how he’s managed to work out how to make his behaviour ‘generation appropriate’ since then. (My mother was horrified and told me I was making a fuss about nothing because it was just his age…Thing that makes me so mad was that if my father were still alive, he’d be late 80s and he would NEVER have behaved like that – and I can remember a couple of times when he spotted another guy in church making a woman uncomfortable and challenged him on it. But my mother was raised in the ‘men rule, men are always right, challenging men is being ungodly’ mindset.)

      Oh, and the ‘times have changed’ thing? Sorry, but if you’ve had decades of enjoying sexually assaulting women penalty-free, I don’t feel remotely sorry for you if you don’t realise times have changed. Because they should have changed decades ago, and if you feel a bit uncomfortable or embarrassed being called out for your creepy behaviour now, that’s nothing compared to the sum total of distress you’ve caused to dozens, maybe 100s of women in your past.

      Reply
      • Sheila Wray Gregoire

        So good! Yes, if you had decades to assault penalty-free….it’s time to pay up.

        Reply
  10. Jennifer

    Thank you so much for continuing to point out the ethical failing of plagiarism in Christian circles, Sheila! I teach English at a Christian university, and earlier this week we covered what is plagiarism in my composition class. I bemoaned to the class how in secular circles plagiarism can lose you your entire career (as in journalism) but is allowed to slide by in the church. Plagiarism is coveting, stealing, and deceiving. How can pastors not see this?

    Reply
  11. Jo R

    Given the positions of these men, I expect they hold quite strongly to 1 Timothy 2:15, which supposedly means to silence women on any behavior that could remotely resembling women teaching men, even prohibiting women from calling out men who are actually sinning.

    Are these men equally prepared to hold even half so strongly to some words a bit later, in 5:2, where leaders are to treat older women as mothers and younger women as sisters “IN ALL PURITY,” “WITH COMPLETE PURITY,” “WITH ABSOLUTE PURITY”? Sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and denying that they are seriously sinful actions don’t particularly strike me as the proper way, even a generation or two back, to treat one’s mother or sisters. Or do these “leaders” also treat their mothers and sisters as sex objects?

    Reply
  12. Bre

    One thing that is driving me crazy is that, on many posts on the CT issue, and particularly the Roy’s Report article, so many people are apologizing for Gali. “Well he’s not a depraved predator like Ravi Z.” “He’s from an older generation.” “He’s pathetic, but he’s genuine. I’d trust what he says over CT any day.”

    First of all…mixed feelings about CT in general from me. It supports some more “left wing” ideas of extreme tolerance that I do not see as justice or find Biblical. But then also it platforms misogynists and people who think women shouldn’t teach, preach, open their mouth…basically it is too progressive for my tastes in some respects but also too anti-woman, given how they paint all feminists as evil and don’t actually give any attention to sexist discrimination and abuse. Basically, I don’t trust them as far as I can throw them because they are trying to speak out both discriminatory, angry sides of their mouth. Okay, that aside…

    I’m sorry, just because you aren’t a rapist or ‘extreme abuser’ doesn’t mean that your actions aren’t sinful, wrong, or in need of condemnation or punishment. And the age defense is BS. My late grandpa loved to pinch me and my mom and grandma, tickle us, and smack us playfully on the butt. It was annoying and I don’t agree with it now and would have something to say, but he was a big prankster who loved to “pick” at people and drive them nuts. Be that as it may, he also knew what was appropriate for being public; he only did things that involved touching to family members who he knew didn’t hate it. Even when he had dementia, he was very respectful to women, particularly his various nurses and social workers and the housekeeper who helped my grandmother. Even if there is a bit of sexism and gender role essentialism in the older generations, older men do know how to respect people. I’m assuming that at least two or three women, even if they were scared to come forward and report, told Gali to stop. I feel like people telling you no and freaking out when you touch them without asking should be a sign to any logical person that maybe you should stop because it’s not right.

    I don’t get why people seem to think non-rape sexual assault isn’t a big deal. You know why the more violent stuff happens? Because we open the door by letting guys off the hook for ‘lesser’ incidents and send the message that sexualizing women, treating them like objects, and ignoring their autonomy. I recently discovered the Collective Shout organization and, while I don’t agree with them about everything, their work fighting sexually exploitative ads, porn, objectification of women, and sexualizing kids is amazing. Their articles really show how normalizing the “small stuff” leads to a culture of it being considered okay to increasingly dehumanize and abuse women. I feel like that’s part of the reason we are having so many issues with this in Christian circles, among other issues; we’ve basically gave guys a free pass to treat women however they like and expect women to suck it up, if we aren’t outright blaming them for their own suffering.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Exactly! I’m so tired of women being told to suck it up when men treat us badly.

      Reply
    • Anon

      “You know why the more violent stuff happens? Because we open the door by letting guys off the hook for ‘lesser’ incidents”

      Totally. I once had a guy tell me that I was a ‘spoiled princess’ for objecting to being groped because what Yazidi women were suffering under Islamic State was so much worse… He just couldn’t get that attitudes like his were the start of a downward slope that had sexual slavery at its base. And it’s a whole new level of disturbing when a guy tells you that you should put up with minor sexual assault because ‘at least you’re not being raped’.

      Reply
      • Nessie

        I wonder how many of those men would object to being kicked in the privates and then told, “Hey, I didn’t taser you/cut anything off, so suck it up, buttercup!” (I’m not advocating violence, but it makes me wonder what it would actually take to get some men’s attention in this area.)

        Is there a way to get guys who make comments like that put on some kind of watch list with local authorities? Seems like a crime just waiting to happen in future…

        Reply

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