Too many have been taught horrible theology that sin levels. Believers are supposed to have a God who will comfort them when they are betrayed or abused or abandoned. But so much of our theology turns God into someone who doesn't care about our hurts, and is even mad...
Last week we learned that best-selling and beloved author Philip Yancey confessed to an 8-year affair. He announced in a statement he was stepping back from ministry, as he was now disqualified. His wife Janet issued a statement too saying that she was devastated, but...
How do you find the best Bare Marriage episodes? What if you're trying to introduce our podcast to a friend, but you don't know where to start? Or what if you desperately want your husband to listen and understand what you've learned, but it's hard to tell him to...
With thanks to Brazos Press for sponsoring this post. Forgiveness is possible only after we’ve had the opportunity to name our losses. That’s how Susannah Griffith opens the chapter on lamentations in her book Forgiveness After Trauma. We talked about the book on the...
Why does our doctrine of forgiveness and healing often cause so much pain? We’re told the problem is our hearts, that we’re just bitter. But what if it’s not that? What if our teaching on forgiveness has gotten things all wrong? This week, on the podcast, I introduced...
Forgiveness is a concept that has often been weaponized against victims. Whether it's people married to abusers, or people married to someone who has cheated on them or hurt them in some other way, often in the church as long as that person apologizes, the onus is now...
Separate but equal has been tried and failed. So why is the church still using the same arguments about gender? It's International Women's Day, and I thought I'd sum up some of what we said in a podcast yesterday, combined with some great input you all gave me on...
Who is really a complementarian? Just when we think we're finished arguing something, another critique pops up. And honestly--we had SUCH FUN doing this podcast! Keith and I planned it for several days beforehand, going over all the arguments we wanted to use. But it...
Scott was a seriously cute Australian whose accent made me swoon. I was 18-years-old, and attending Capernwray Bible college in England for a semester before I started at Queen’s University the following year. And I spent the first few weeks trying to get Scott’s...
Not everyone who ends up dominating their wife is actually an abuser at heart. What they are doing may be abusive; the same dynamics may be at play, and the same harm may be being done. But it doesn’t always come from the same place. Over and over again since we have...
What if marriage isn't supposed to be that hard? This is one of those weird years where Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday land on the same day. For non-liturgical folks who don't follow the church calendar, Ash Wednesday is the day that Christians confess their sins...
ONE OF THE THINGS WE’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ON THIS BLOG IS MAKING SURE THE ADVICE THAT IS GIVEN ABOUT MARRIAGE AND SEX IN THE EVANGELICAL WORLD IS HEALTHY. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the...
It's time for a deep dive into Lies Women Believe! ** Scroll down to receive the downloadable one sheet (look for the box to enter your email! ** As you all know, I have a deep concern that many resources offered to women in the evangelical world are deeply unhealthy...
“People would listen to you more if you weren’t so angry!” I hear this a lot. Or else it’s, “People just aren’t able to hear you because of your tone. I can’t share your stuff because they’d just tune you out.” And then there’s the inevitable, “I liked you better when...
Getting married to have sex is a really, really bad idea. Unfortunately, though, there are many hard-line patriarchal teachers, as well as many young people, who are adamantly saying that this is God’s design. When your sexual desires are too strong, you should just...