The Emowered Wife is really, really bad. Like horrifically bad. It basically tells women to self-erase and self-censor in order to make husbands have as smooth a ride as possible so that there's no reason for them to feel triggered, so that they'll be nice to you. And...
One of the things we're passionate about on this blog is making sure the advice that is given about marriage and sex in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 40,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the...
Let's look at how specific discipleship materials actually enable marital rape. But first, a bit of background. Last week on my Substack I re-ran a post I wrote a few years ago on this blog about the two kinds of marital rape (here's the Substack post and the original...
Yesterday I had a message from a woman being summoned in to defend herself to a toxic elders' board. She had been going to a very hierarchical, controlling church and had realized it wasn't healthy and had decided to take her family and go elsewhere. The elders' board...
Another Duggar son has been charged with sexually abusing a child. This time it’s Joseph Duggar, the seventh born and third son. (I wrote this piece before news broke that his wife Kendra has also been charged with 4 counts of false imprisonment, among other things....
Thank you to Zondervan and the book To Heal or Harm for sponsoring this post Often when we point out advice is harmful people respond with "but it's not meant for abusive marriages!" The implication is that those who are abused should realize that this book or video...
How did we get to the point where Scripture is so easily weaponized? Thank you to Zondervan for sponsoring this post. I mean, I suppose it always has been. That's one of the things Jesus railed against the religious leaders for, and that the prophets railed against...
Jeffrey Epstein apparently found James Dobson useful. TW: I will be talking in generic terms about sexual abuse in this article, and mentioning Jeffrey Epstein. And I will be including several snippets from evangelicals that sexualize little girls. Over the weekend,...
Thank you to Zondervan and the book For the Love of Women for sponsoring this post God isn’t glorified when women stay in marriages where they’re abused Too many women have sat across from church leaders, bruised and broken, only to be told they must "bear their...
Does the Bible say divorce for abuse is okay? Lots of churches, and denominations, say no. You can only divorce for adultery, they say. But is that true? I've been wanting to do this podcast for a long time, and was prompted again when Naghmeh Panahi (who has also...
We're hoping The Marriage You Want can be a great clarifier. Our newest book, The Marriage You Want, was published last Tuesday, and it's doing well--the #1 new release in Christian marriage all week. Thank you for that! But I had a commenter say something important...
There's been a horrible meme circulating about how God used David--so we should rejoice when God uses evil men. I've seen it myself; it's been shared and debated in our Patreon group; and so many of you have sent it to me. While it does have immediate American...
We don't have to accept pastors demonizing little girls. Recently, I was sent a clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go looking for these. Josh Howerton, you may remember, is the same megachurch pastor who told women to “stand where...
Remember Bill Clinton and it depends on the definition of "is"? In the 90s, in the middle of the Monica Lewinsky scandal (which, in retrospect, is so full of uneven power dynamics), Bill Clinton denied having an affair based on a silly definition. And, because of...
Sheila here! Last week, Bethany Jantzi joined us on the Bare Marriage podcast to talk about how the elements of coercive control are actually found in the marital dynamics that so much of our evangelical marriage advice creates. Which is horrifying! At the end of the...