Remember Bill Clinton and it depends on the definition of "is"? In the 90s, in the middle of the Monica Lewinsky scandal (which, in retrospect, is so full of uneven power dynamics), Bill Clinton denied having an affair based on a silly definition. And, because of...
Sheila here! Last week, Bethany Jantzi joined us on the Bare Marriage podcast to talk about how the elements of coercive control are actually found in the marital dynamics that so much of our evangelical marriage advice creates. Which is horrifying! At the end of the...
Jesus would never have called a child an “enemy.” Yet that’s exactly what Josh Howerton did in a sermon on August 11, when he was telling men to fight for their families. I was sent this clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go...
Often Christian Marriage teachers say “this is only for spouses in good marriages.” But spouses in destructive marriages listen! Here’s how to help all without harming some.
When churches and denominations deny people the chance to divorce for abuse, they also deny kids the chance to grow up with amazing step-parents. I think we forget that. Those who argue so vehemently that abuse isn't a valid reason for divorce (as Focus on the Family...
A podcast dissecting Dennis Prager’s bad advice about infidelity, and YouTube influencers Paul and Morgan with a case study on body language and identifying unhealthy dynamics.
20 Evangelical Denominations in the United States that do not condone divorce for abuse. Plus information on the effect this has on abuse victims, and how you can help change the policies.
Some pastors are not simply unsafe; they are downright dangerous. And some church elder's boards, church's women's ministries, and denominations in general are downright dangerous. We had a horrible example of that earlier this month when John Piper posted a terrible...
How do you know if you're being abused? One of the hardest parts of blogging is reading so many heartbreaking emails and comments that come in from people in truly destructive marriages. I find myself wondering, why do people treat each other this way? And even more...
We're in the middle of our Marriage Misdiagnosis series, talking about how often the church misdiagnoses the problems in marriage--and so offers the wrong solutions. Last week we looked at how often people are pressured to reconcile before trust has been rebuilt....
What if Christian marriage books are telling you that your destructive marriage is normal? We're in the middle of Marriage Misdiagnosis month, where we're looking at how some of the messages given in evangelical marriage books actually talk about marriage problems...
Sheila here! When I was planning last week's podcast looking at how the authors and organizations that we critiqued in The Great Sex Rescue had responded to our book, I started making a list of all the things that they had acccused us of. By the end of that effort, I...
We know that women have a huge problem with sexual shame. Many men do, too, of course! But let's stick with women for a moment here, because when we were reading best-selling books to see trends of how they taught about sex, we noticed a pattern: Quite often men were...
Are you married to a controlling husband? I first ran this post back in 2016, but as we're moving over to our new domain next week, and taking only the posts from 2018 and forward, I wanted to make sure this one came with us! I refer to it a lot. If you're in...
My heart hurts when I hear stories of what happens when women (or children or men, for that matter) are made powerless. In about a week or so we'll be moving the blog over to a new domain, taking only the posts from 2018 with us. I have some posts from pre-2018...