How do you dig out of a pit you’ve dug for your sex life in marriage? A 4 point plan to rebuild sex, starting with reframing sex & making everyone feel safe.
All the Latest from "Series"
RESEARCH DEEP DIVE: Does Sex Start in the Kitchen, or Does it Die There?
What if sex doesn't start in the kitchen--but her libido can die there? Rebecca here on the blog today, and I want to tell you about a fascinating new study coming out of Australia. This is the first post in our research deep-dive series on the blog that will be...
THE MARRIAGE MISDIAGNOSIS: I Figured Out Why Christian Marriage Advice Can Be Shallow!
What if our marriage advice doesn't work because we're diagnosing marriage problems wrong? This month we're starting a new series called Marriage Misdiagnosis, looking at how often our marriage advice doesn't work because we've got the wrong aims, and thus our advice...
The Obligation Sex Series
- 10 Things to Know about Obligation Sex
- Why Obligation Sex Destroys Libido (and how it affects us long-term) (coming soon)
- A Way Forward to Recovery from Obligation Sex (coming soon)
- You Don’t Need to Consent to Being Used (coming soon)
- When Your Husband Won’t Let go of Obligation Sex (coming soon)
- The Obligation Sex podcast (coming soon)
Previous Posts on Obligation Sex
- Can We Honor our Bodies’ Rhythms?
- Does 1 Corinthians 7 Mean that Women Have No Sexual Autonomy?
- What Happens When Men Believe the Obligation Sex Message?
Previous Podcasts on Obligation Sex
- New Research on the effects of Obligation Sex
- The Myth of the Magic Penis
- Marital Rape, Consent, and the Problems with Obligation Sex
Plus please see our Great Sex Rescue Toolkit for handy downloads about the effects of obligation sex that you can give to your pastor, counselor, small group leader–anyone who teaches it!
And see chapters 9 and 10 in The Great Sex Rescue for all our charts, stats, and commentary!
The Sexual Recovery Series–Digging Yourself out of the Pit
- A 4 -Point Plan to Sexual Recovery
- Redefining Sex: Seeing Sex as an Expression of your Relationship, Not an Individual Need
- What Sexual Recovery Looks Like
- Safety and Intimacy: You’ll Never Have an Intimate Sex Life without Feeling Safe First
- When Sex Has Become One-Sided, Leaving Her Feeling Used
- 8 Step Plan to Regain Sexual Autonomy
- Why You Need to Deal with Your Own Sexual Stuff
- When Your Spouse Won’t Change
Marital Rape Posts:
- 2 Kinds of Marital Rape
- How to Recover from Marital Rape (if it’s possible)
- Why Christians Often Don’t Understand Consent
- 5 Next Steps if You Realize You’ve Coerced Your Wife into Sex
- Does 1 Corinthians 7 Mean that She Has No Sexual Autonomy?
- How Do I Get My Husband to Understand He’s Been Coercing Me into Sex?
Podcasts:
- PODCAST: A Path forward Addressing Sexual Shame (with Jay Stringer)
- PODCAST: The Myth of the Magic Penis (and a call for integrated sex)
- PODCAST: Learned Helplessness and Sex
And please check out The Great Sex Rescue, and our Orgasm Course if that’s been an issue for you!
Keith’s Danvers Statement Series
Looking at the 4 ways those who believe in hierarchy in marriage think marriage can go wrong
- Domination: Do hierarchalists take it seriously?
- Passivity: Is it the problem hierarchalists say it is?
- Usurpation: Behold the circular logic!
- Servility: When every problem is a nail
- And our PODCAST summarizing the whole series!
Plus see the book Keith co-authored with Sheila, The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex!
The Research Deep Dive Series
- Does Sex Start in the Kitchen or Does It Die There?
- How Does a Couple’s First Time Affect Libido?
- Is “All Men Struggle With Lust” a Primal Fear?
- Is She Dressing for Attention or is He?
- PODCAST: Ogling and Dressing for Attention
- 5 Questions to Ask That Minimize Bias When Discussing Research
- 10 Things to Know About Hormones and Libido
- Bring Back Vanilla Sex
The Marriage Misdiagnosis Series
- I’ve Figured Out Why Christian Marriage Advice Can Be So Shallow
- Why Elevating Commitment As the Answer to Everything Misses the Point
- 4 Things Christian Marriage Teachers Need to Stop Saying
- Who is the Focus of Most Marriage Teaching?
- PODCAST with Natalie Hoffman: An example of marriage misdiagnosis in real life
- PODCAST: The Marriage Misdiagnosis Podcast
- Are We Putting Reconciliation Before Rebuilding Trust?
- Does It Really Take Two to Tango?
- Should We Always Put the Husband Before the Kids?
- Why Holding Up Radical Stories of Marriage Restoration Can Harm More than Hurt
- If I Pray Hard Enough, Will God Heal My Marriage?
- I Followed Christian Marriage Advice about Genders–and I Failed My Husband
And please check out our book The Great Sex Rescue about all the ways that evangelicalism has given the wrong diagnosis about sex!
Older posts from "Series"
The Love Your Body Series: Treating Your Body as a Friend, Not an Enemy
Can you truly believe that your body is your friend? How many of you look in the mirror and feel like weeping? You hate shopping for jeans because nothing ever fits right. You do your best not to think about anything below the neck throughout the day. When you sit...
Iron Sharpens Iron Series: Marriage Should Make You Better People!
Keith has made me a better person because I am married to him. First, there's the little things. I notice that when I'm alone for several days, for instance, I tend to cocoon and just do whatever I want, which tends to consist of a lot of time wasters. When he's here,...
LUST SERIES: Noticing is Not Lusting! We Need to Free Men from this Fallacy
If you notice a woman is beautiful, is that a sin? Have you already lusted after her in your heart? If you read many best-selling marriage books, you'd say yes. If you notice a woman, then you're tempted to undress her. That temptation makes you focus on body parts....