10 Reasons My Readers Think Marriage is Great

by | Mar 5, 2019 | Marriage, Uncategorized | 17 comments

10 Reasons to Celebrate Marriage
Merchandise is Here!

Sometimes we just need to hear why people love marriage!

This year has been a heavy one for the Church. So many things have been unearthed and there is a real reckoning happening. I’m beyond grateful that abuse that happened in the dark is being dragged out into the light and I’m doing my best to advocate for those who were hurt.

I’d be lying, though, if I said that my work doesn’t come at a cost. It’s heavy and so terribly sad and some days I’m just angry and pessimistic and disappointed that those in power are doing the wrong thing (again!) that I’m tempted to despair. Combine that with the many, many sad emails and comments I get from people in abusive marriages, and it takes a toll.

When I was having one of those moments last week I put out a call on Facebook and Twitter for some happy marriage stories.

Okay, people. For the last few days I've been inundated with comments and emails from women in very abusive marriages. It's taking its toll.Tell me some HAPPY marriage stories!

Posted by To Love, Honor and Vacuum on Friday, March 1, 2019

So many of you sent in amazing stories that made me laugh and smile, and I thought: If I’m struggling with seeing the world in a bad light, maybe other people are, too! So I thought I’d share the joy and post some of your stories here (and thank you so much for everyone who wrote in!). They were all amazing, but I tried to find a few commonalities, and here are several that sum the whole thing up!

And each paragraph is its own story, by the way. 

10 Reasons to Celebrate Marriage

1. We had an adorable “meet”

I met my husband white water rafting down the Cheat. Thankfully I was sitting behind him and was able to slide my left foot under the tubing he was on. When rough waters came that would have thrown me over the front heads, my lodged foot would stop me and I’d catch myself on his shoulders. It’s a good thing I knew how to ride a horse with all the bucking that river did! We married 7 months later and that was 32+ years ago. May I say that although we both loved the experience of white water rafting we have never had the desire to go again. I guess you could say that by the grace of God we simply found what we were searching for. To this day he is my hero!

My husband and I met at a church youth group trip. I had always made fun of these trips deeming them “find your spouse” trips. Well, ironically enough, that came to be true for me when I met my husband in Missouri, he was from Indiana and I was from Michigan. We were just 16&17 and dated long distance (2005) for a couple of years and I ended up taking a job in his area, getting married (2011), and having 3 adorable children. 💕
My husband and I met at a homeschool dance on April 20th. I had come in late and he noticed me sitting on the side and asked me to dance… we got married six months after we met on October 20th. There is not a day that goes by that we don’t thank the Lord for leading us together. We’ve been married for six years now and are still waiting for our “honeymoon” phase to end. 😍 He is the best thing that ever happened to me, treats me like a queen everyday and is SO patient with me even when I can’t stand myself…oh and now we have two fun kiddos to keep us on our toes. To encourage you to know that: Marriage to a good man is heaven on earth!! ❤️
We met at family camp when we were 15 in a rec/game room and played ping pong together. My mom started the game with him and then left me! … [We] have been together for almost 4 years and we have a little girl on the way in a month or so! Between my Pastor’s amazing premarriage counsel and finding your marriage blog and another’s, we have had a wonderful and amazing marriage so far, despite having a lot of uphill battles in our short time so far. This picture is from a trip we made our first year of marriage. Might understand why I was so mega nervous about him being so tall when we first met! ❤️❤️❤️

2. We’ve Experienced Second Chances and New Beginnings

Okay, these are always my favourite ones! Not that I want people to go through hard times, of course, but the fact that God can redeem is always so encouraging. I love these!

My hubby & I were on the brink of divorce in 2006. Next month we will celebrate our 23rd anniversary married & over 33 years together. I have never felt as loved by him as I do now. We have never been closer. After decades of praying he would come back to God he now attends church with me regularly does daily devotions & bible readings & prays daily. Praise God for answered prayers & healed hearts

Married for almost 7 years, we have been thru things that would tear most couples a part…infidelity, addiction, miscarriages, mental illnesses…but the Lord has worked incredible healing in our lives individually and in our marriage! He has given us the ultimate testimony of hope and unconditional love. 2.5 years of healing (and still more to come), 2 kiddos later, we fall more in love every day and are enjoying growing together and going thru all the ups and downs together.

Here is a happy marriage that Jesus is working on daily! Three wonderful little kids, and 4 years clean of a porn addiction! Husband and I were baptized together as adults (he was not Christian when we started dating and I was not any good at being Christian) and now raising our kids with faith from the beginning. We do a traditional sabbath once a month where daddy blesses each child and reads proverbs 31 to me. We pray before meals and bedtime. We have come such a long way!!

I am Getting Married in < 98 days to an old college boyfriend who never married, has no kids, and yet is brave enough to give up his gaming Saturdays to be step-dad to my 5! He is just the most respectful, level-headed, helpful, supportive guy with a great sense of humor and fun. I can’t wait to start life over at 44yo and show a very different relationship dynamic to my kids!!

I just celebrated 20 years of marriage to a man who should have left me long ago, but for the grace of God. I was very abusive and controlling, he was passive and just took it for many years. God is sovereign, and he does turn hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. We can’t make that happen. We can’t change our spouses. I wake up every day grateful and just…awestruck that I got another chance.

3. My husband helped me heal

I got married 1.5 years ago and have a history of being sexually abused. Marriage has been the most healing and redemptive thing for me and God has blessed me so much with a fun, tender, sensitive, empathetic and passionate husband!!

I also have a history of sexual abuse that I didn’t realize I was bringing into my marriage 11 years ago. He has been with me every step of the journey looking at me with tender, unabashed love. We have been to hell and back as we (I) journey through healing and redemption. Jesus used my husband to show me what love truly is and I am forever grateful. ❤️

4. My husband supports me in my calling

I start a job tomorrow that just might be my dream job. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted and will utilise every skill I excel at. My husband negotiated a shifted schedule so he could pick DB2 up from school & took all of spring break off.

My husband will go out in the rain, hail, sleet or snow to get me medicine or even just a treat for no reason. He encourages me to pursue my dreams and he prays for me. I am so blessed.

5. We are best friends, we even love doing the mundane stuff of life together!

 

My husband of 17 years took care of the kids, did laundry, and helped out in so many ways while I was running 2 of my kids back and forth to the local community theater for a play that they are in this week. It’s been a crazy week but we’re all having a great time because we are ALL pitching in and doing our part. We tag team, work together, play together, compliment each other often, work with intention to keep our own grass green and we truly love each other!
My husband and I canned 70 pints of jam last weekend. It is so much fun making jams and jellies with my husband 💗

6. My husband is thoughtful and takes care of me

I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 17 years. I just had major surgery 10 days ago and can’t do anything. He lovingly helps me shower, shaved my legs, puts my socks on.. and has taken over all my responsibilities right now. Love him to pieces.

Married 18.5 years. He’s my best friend. We both go out of our way to speak each other’s love language. I don’t have to make my own breakfast or start my own car before I leave for work. Never once had to shovel the driveway after a snowstorm. I delight in making him happy. We often say to each other, “Do you think there’s any other couples in this world as happy as we are?” I hope so!!!

When my husband goes to bed before I do he sleeps on my half of the bed until I come to bed so that I don’t have to get into a cold spot. He has dozens of little things like this that I take for granted far more than I should.

I married very young. Before we married, I confessed to my husband-to-be (who lived across the country from me) that I was terrified of the dark. When we arrived after our honeymoon to the apartment he had chosen for us and had been living in, there was a nightlight in every room. He never said a word about it. We’ve been married almost 24 years, and he is still that selfless, loving person.

7. My husband has helped me be more like Christ

I was always told that I’d have to marry a “strong, domineering” guy to be able to “handle” me. 🙄🙄 So I didn’t think the cute, quiet, younger-than-me soldier who came to my church would ever be interested in me. Guess what? He was! 😍😍 And 10 years later, his quiet, gentle ways have taught me so much about how God loves us and have helped me grow so much. He’s an awesome husband, and an amazing father. I’m SO glad that God led us to each other!! ❤️❤️❤️

This year marks 10 years together and 7 years married. We met in college, and were instantly attracted. As we like to say, he was a heathen and I was a Pharisee…so we’ve learned a lot from each other! We now have two beautiful boys, with a third on the way. I’m so blessed to have found a man so willing to figure out how to make our marriage better. He’s taught me so much about what it means to lay down ones needs and wants for another’s. Can’t wait to see where life takes us.

Note: Her husband responded with a gif of Prince Harry dropping a mic

8. We are a great team

After almost 36 years of friendship & 31 yrs of marriage marked by mutual love, respect, care & service, we genuinely enjoy each other’s company & are having more fun now than ever.

My husband and I have been married 8 years and while it hasn’t always been easy, our bond is strong. We have a deep friendship where we know why the other is smirking from across the room. We tell each other about our honest opinions. We hold each accountable. We try our best to work as a team. And as I write this my husband looked over my shoulder and chuckled as he said, “There’s a strong physical attraction.” which, despite the chuckle, is true. It certainly isn’t always easy because we both came with baggage and bad habits but we always keep trying.

Our first date was April 1, 1981. We eloped May 11, 1981. I was 18 (two years of college), he was 21 (graduated with a commission in the US Army). My groom left that afternoon for officer basic training (we were in SC and he had to be in AZ in 3 days) that afternoon. Almost 38 years later and 10 children (12 pregnancies) , 13 moves, countless deployments, homeschooling, marriages, six grandchildren, two teens still living at home….. it’s BETTER than ever!! I am blessed beyond measure. Have there been hard times? Even hard years? Yep. But God is faithful and He has seen us through the rough spots.

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If your marriage is in a communication rut, it’s time for some change.

9. We’ve walked through life’s valleys together

We’ve been married for almost 22 years and I am amazed at how our love deepens every day. He’s been by my side through so many difficult things, such as a foster care situation we weren’t sure would turn out the way we hoped (it did, thank the Lord, and we adopted). We have prayed through so many decisions together. I pray my own kids find such a supportive and loving spouse as I have. ❤️

Married to my high school sweetheart 19 1/2 years! We survived 12 years of infertility and now 4 children later he’s still the best thing that ever happened to me. Mr Steady in my ups and downs of motherhood and depression and anxiety! I love him so much!

10. We have a super sweet love story – we were high school sweethearts who reconnected later in life

My husband and I met when I was 16 years old. We were high school sweethearts. When I was 19, we broke up and went separate ways. Yet, true love prevails. After 3 years apart, we reunited & got married. Last year, we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary

I married my high school sweetheart, 32 years after we met. Although our lives led us in different directions for a while, we remained friends and eventually our roads converged again. It will be 8 months next Friday.

Bonus: Two pieces of simple good news

He loves God. He loves me. He loves our boys.

Finally, from Jules Woodson, who is a victim of sexual abuse in the church:

“God’s still writing mine.”

Whether God is still writing your love story, or whether you can celebrate along with everyone else, I’m glad you’re here, and I hope I can help your marriage grow.

Do you have a happy marriage story to share? Let me know in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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17 Comments

  1. Kate

    Sheila, i have always admired your ability to deal with all the messy marriage stories blogging brings with it. I think it was on Kevin Thomas blog i read that people with bad marriages come to blogs when they’re at the end of their rope instead of long before to avoid the rope from snapping. I seriously can’t do what you do. I also noticed whenever your blog is dealing with problematic issues you get tons of comments, but when it’s a solution based post you barely get anything. That says a lot about people.

    I know for a fact that great marriages outnumber bad marriages but because the squeaky wheel gets the grease you forget that only one wheel has issues while the other 3 wheels are just fine. I send a prayer to you for a peace of mind, soul, and spirit, because the emails you get do take a tole on you. I loved these stories, thanks for sharing them!

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Thank you so much, Kate! There are a lot of people who are really hurting who comment–but I know that most people are relatively happy. And that’s wonderful!

      Reply
  2. Jessica

    I meant to send mine in when you posted that originally and forgot. (Darn it) I’d put us under #8 We make a great team.

    We’ve been married 12 1/2 years and while some years have been sunnier than others, we’ve always been a good team and enjoy living together, serving together, traveling together, and most recently, together living serving and traveling all at the same time, when asked to come to Costa Rica to do some technology (him) and cooking (me) work with a missionary family that our church supports. Our household rules of keeping a firm grasp on one’s own self-awareness and not taking things too seriously have served us well. We’ve managed to weather the majority of the communication issues and now finally almost always manage to exit a conversation with the same view of the landscape. Our children are now old enough that it’s actually fun to do things with them and I am so excited to take our first really big full-family vacation this spring (assuming we ever get spring).

    I offer up the following two FB posts that really sum up the two of us:

    Me to Steve: So should I post, “if a married couple goes on a date and doesn’t post a selfie of it on Facebook with the caption ‘much needed date!’, did it happen?”
    Steve: I was actually thinking those exact words on my way home.

    and

    Steve and I just had a conversation where I used a Princess Diaries quote and he answered with a Mean Girls quote. This is the high point of our marriage.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Oh, my goodness, I love your last paragraph. 🙂 That sounds like my kids so much! (And we loved Costa Rica! I’d love to go back! Maybe I’ll look you up if you’re there!)

      Reply
  3. Natalie

    Aw, yay! Happy stories!!! Those were sweet and uplifting to read. 🙂

    Yesterday, my husband voluntarily shared with me that he not only has been tracking his water and food intake for a month (a task which he has never been good at or been successful at for more than a week), but also that he’s now under 300lbs!!! (He’s 6’0″ and started at around 340-350ish lbs this past summer 2018). AND he’s been cleaning up after himself around the house, no longer being a perpetual procrastinator and is finishing the remodel on our son’s bedroom (which he’s been kicking that can down the road for the past 6 months!!), and generally “adulting” more on a regular basis without my prodding him. Guess that’s what I get for shutting my mouth, not nagging and giving it to the Lord instead. 🙂 Very proud of him and hoping this change in his attitude and overall increased striving for excellence in his personal life continues! Next step I’d like to see: reading the Bible and praying together as a couple.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yay! That’s great, Natalie! I know that’s been a big concern of yours, so that’s amazing!

      Reply
  4. Sarah

    This is a little off topic, but have you ever read the book “The Power is a Praying Wife” by Stormie O’Martian? Would you ever consider reviewing it? It’s quite popular with some of the women in my circle. I’ve read some of it. Some of it seemed really valuable, other parts didn’t sit exactly right with me and I’d be interested in your thoughts.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      I’ll put that on my list to talk about! I remember reading it maybe a decade ago, and thinking that on the whole it was good, but if you were in an abusive marriage, it would be exactly the wrong advice. And also that sometimes God does want you to confront things. It had the viewpoint, I think, that because neither of us is perfect, you shouldn’t get upset at the other person. but that didn’t seem quite right, because what if someone is doing something very harmful? But I haven’t read it in a long time, so I may be remembering it wrong!

      Reply
    • Bethany

      The main thing I remember about reading that when my husband and I were first married was (besides finding it decent on the whole) there was one section about how husbands have “simple needs,” and my husband and I found that kind of insulting but also hilarious, and it’s become an in-joke for us over the years.

      Reply
  5. EM

    I adore my hubby of 15 years! We have always been a great team and helped each other follow our dreams. This year though we have reached a new, deeper level of intimacy (partly thanks to this blog!) and it is so wonderful. I have always had a hard time with stating my needs or speaking my mind if I was afraid it would upset him….which in the early years of our marriage it often did. But as he has become more mature, and I reached a breaking point where I finally got some counseling to learn about boundaries, he is getting to see my heart that I have hidden for a long time. It has been amazing how many times he has listened to my crazy, held me while I cried, and helped me find my voice. He is showing me that he loves me completely for who I am, not just for what I can do for him. He is also the most amazing dad for our 4 boys, works so hard to take care of us, watches out for my widowed mom, and is willing to try for baby #5 because he knows how badly I want a girl. I am thankful for him every day!

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yay! That’s wonderful! And that sounds like an amazing man. And yay for finding your voice!

      Reply
  6. ThePhilZone

    Now this is a topic I can get excited about! In late Oct. of 1992 I went into the hospital to get a couple of disks removed from my neck in a last ditch effort to alleviate arm pain and get function back from the shoulder down. Everything worked as planned and I am 100% to this day. Backstory, by this time in my life I had sworn off dating entirely for many reasons and was perfectly happy on my own. However, I prayed daily to God to connect me to the right person at some point and to please send a sign when this happens. Now for the good part, and I am dead serious. When my night neuro trama nurse walked into my room on the first night post surgery, she was literally enveloped in the most comforting luminescent glow you can imagine. That was my sign! I learned later that when she left my room she was beat red and the other nurses wondered what was going on. We went on our first date in a week, got engaged in 6 months and married a year after that. We will celebrate 25 years married next month. We just became empty nesters this year (2 college kids) and are re connecting on all levels and honestly for us it’s all been pretty easy (we are both isfj’s so that helps) and more than we could have ever imagined or hoped for. We are truly ONE. Thank you Sheila for a great site for women but also for guys who actually care and want the most out of marriage. Sure I come here for a few answers but mostly to re affirm that what we are doing together is leading us down the right path. Their is a lot of pain out there but thanks to God and my wonderful wife who works patiently with me, for us, we always choose each other and love!

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Oh, that’s wonderful! And I am glad that lots of men feel comfortable here, too. 🙂

      Reply
  7. Happily Married

    This is my favorite blog post! I think it should become a regular segment.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      I’m glad you liked it! 🙂 I like happy stories, too, especially after a lot of the sad comments I get. It keeps me grounded. So I should keep asking people for different aspects of why their marriages are happy. 🙂 I’ll try to do it more often!

      Reply
  8. Anonymous

    I love this! My husband and I are always saying we were made for each other. He is the best at thinking about something he would like to do and making it happen. We love just being together more than anything else. He has been so patient and loving throughout my vaginismus journey.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      So glad! And I do hope you find a solution to the vaginismus soon. I know it’s so hard to live with.

      Reply

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