Do you have lingerie that needs to see the inside of a garbage can?
Lingerie seems to stick around forever.
You buy underwear one day and suddenly it’s 7 years later, you’ve had 2 kids, the underwear has holes, but it still sticks around the lingerie drawer.
On Wednesdays in August on the blog we’ve been talking about feeling more sexy and confident with the lingerie that we buy. We talked about re-thinking lingerie, and a big part of that is about being intentional about the lingerie we keep so that it’s easy to pick out something that will make us feel feminine, beautiful, and confident. And we talked about choosing panties that actually fit your body type.
But as my daughter Rebecca (who basically runs this blog behind the scenes) and I were talking about these posts, we’ve realized we want to make them more actionable. We spend a lot of time writing on this blog about how to make your marriage better or how to make your sex life better, but the truth is that you can KNOW all this stuff and it doesn’t actually affect you until you put it into practice! So today we’re going to issue a challenge to help you all put this into practice! You’re going to sort out your lingerie (bra & underwear) and pajama drawers, because most of us have some things stuffed in the back that we really shouldn’t be holding onto at all.
Here’s your challenge: throw out ANYTHING that is old, ratty, or just doesn’t fit or make you feel good anymore!
I did this challenge myself, and I’ll be showing you what I pulled out as we go along.
1. Anything with elastic that just doesn’t work
You know what I’m talking about. Maybe the elastic on that pair of panties just isn’t strong enough to hold the underwear up anymore, maybe that bralette had elasticity when you first bought it, but now it’s stretched out and you’re constantly pulling at it to keep it in place.
When elastic goes on underthings and lingerie, it means its time has passed. Toss it, and get yourself some cute and flirty to replace it!
An exception to this would be if you have a piece of lingerie where the elastic can be easily replaced. If you have a cute tank top and shorts pyjama set, for instance, that simply needs some new elastic run through the waistband that is a very easy fix and often much cheaper to have done at a tailor’s than buying a whole new pyjama set would be! But then take that piece out of the drawer and actually fix it.
This was my biggest category! Like I told you last week in my post about choosing panties, I totally buy the wrong cut, and often I buy bikini briefs with flimsy elastic, and it just looks awful. So I’m dumping all of these!
Dump Count: 8
2. Anything with holes
Doesn’t matter where the holes are, they just aren’t sexy.
If you have a nightgown or pair of pyjamas that you just love but it has a hole in it, look into getting it repaired first or doing a quick repair yourself! If you have a cute top-and-bottom set that you wear all the time and only one piece has holes, you can also look to see if you can find a replacement for just one half of the outfit. Similar to the first point, if it’s a great piece that makes you feel beautiful and sexy and you can repair instead of replacing, do it! You get to keep enjoying your favorite pieces and you’re sending less waste to landfills as well.
But if you have underwear that looks like it’s seen battle and lost, it’s time to toss it.
I actually didn’t have anything with holes, so I’m good on this one!
Running Dump Count: 8
3. Anything with period stains
(With the exception of “period underwear,” of course!)
If you’ve got pyjamas that are permanently stained in the crotch or backside area due to period blood, it’s time to bid them adieu. Replace just the bottoms, or buy yourself a whole new set. Find the underwear that isn’t really comfy enough to be period underwear but you also don’t wear to feel sexy because of staining and chuck it–you can replace it with a clean pair and then keep a few period-friendly pieces behind to wear during your time of the month so it doesn’t happen again!
No comment! 🙂
Running Dump Count: 8
4. Anything that causes wedgies
Underwear that is more “bum floss” than anything else can go. There’s nothing sexy about having to pick your underwear out of your butt every 4 minutes.
If you have a lot of pieces that refuse to stay put, try out a new cut of underwear that’s a bit more full coverage, or size up in the kinds of styles you already know you enjoy! It can make a huge difference in how your clothes lie and how you feel in them, and no one should have to deal with wedgies every day.
I have to admit I had a few of these. I’m glad they’re gone!
Running Dump Count: 11
5. Anything that simply doesn’t fit
If it pinches, makes it hard to breathe, rubs the wrong way, hangs off of you, or makes you feel like you’re being stuffed in sausage casing, just get rid of it! You can find other great pieces that fit your body exactly right the way it is now that will flatter your curves and make you feel gorgeous. Don’t hang on to pieces that don’t fit you only because they’re “too nice to get rid of” or you want to fit them again someday.
If you are currently in a stage of life where you are a different size than normal, whether it’s due to pregnancy or health issues, you can always store those pieces away in case you change your body again in the future. But get yourself some pieces that fit you now so you’re not standing in limbo thinking, “I’ll feel sexy again when…” Give yourself permission to enjoy your body in the present and enjoy feeling sexy whatever size you are, even as you work towards your goals.
I actually had a really cute teddy that I just admitted to myself today that I never wear because it’s too small. Someone will appreciate this at the thrift store! (And I’m hiding some of the details in the pic. You can only know so much about me!). Plus I had a bra, a nightgown that’s just too tight, and a camisole that’s too tight.
Running Lingerie Dump Count: 15
6. Any of the “Run for the Cure” or “Smith Family Bank Diabetes Run” T-Shirts
We’re all for fighting for the cure. Totally. But not in your bedroom at night. So if that’s the only place you’re wearing those old t-shirts, you’re not helping raise awareness anyway.
Keep them as gardening shirts, or for when you’re doing a deep clean or helping your friend paint their deck. But they do not belong in the lingerie drawer! They are not pajamas.
Toss them, and replace them with comfy, practical, but still sexy pieces like satin pyjama sets, long nightgowns, or tank top and shorts sleeping sets!
I’m really good at purging these, and just don’t have any. Now, if only I can get rid of Keith’s….
Running Lingerie Dump Count: 15
7. Anything where you fall out of it if you roll over
It may fit you great when you’re standing or sitting, but if the girls tumble out the minute you lie down or roll over, it’s just not going to be comfortable. I once had a nightgown without a lot of shaping or support, and whenever I rolled over, my “girls” rolled, but the nightgown didn’t. So I spent the majority of the night completely “out” of the nightgown. That may sound sexy, but it actually is quite uncomfortable.
Toss the flimsy nightgown or give it away and replace it with something with fuller coverage, better structure, or a better size for your body type.
Yay! I already got rid of this and gave it to Katie.
Running Lingerie Dump Count: 15
8. Anything you haven’t worn in ages
With lingerie and underwear, if you haven’t worn it in a really long time it’s likely for a reason.
Either it doesn’t feel like “you” anymore, you’ve got pieces you like better, or it’s not practical for where you are in life. Whatever it is, just remember that your clothes are supposed to fit YOU, not the other way around. So if an item isn’t working for you anymore, even if it did in the past, say goodbye and move on.
I have a few pieces I haven’t worn in ages, but they fit better under different categories. 🙂
Running Lingerie Dump Count: 15
9. Anything that no longer fits your lifestyle
Maybe that tiny nightgown worked really well when you were a newlywed without kids. But now that you’ve got three littles it’s just not practical anymore. You don’t have to give up on cute lingerie while you have kids, you can find really flattering, feminine, and sexy pieces that you can still wear around the family, too, if there’s a midnight emergency! So embrace this new stage, get rid of the old, and welcome in some new pieces!
I think this extra Spanx will do. I have several, and honestly, I never wear them. I don’t go to enough dress-up functions!
Running Lingerie Dump Count: 16
10. Anything that makes you feel “blah” about yourself
Finally, lingerie is supposed to make you feel put together, classy, feminine, and–you guessed it–sexy! If you have some pieces you like but others that make you feel dumpy when you look in the mirror, ditch them! Find more of the pieces you like and don’t feel bad if you don’t enjoy every style of lingerie or every cut of underwear (even if they’re super trendy and everyone else seems to love them!). Lingerie is very intimate, and as such it should make you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Now, if you’re struggling to feel good in any type of lingerie due to body image issues, take this one slowly. Figure out which pieces you like the best out of what you have and ask yourself–what do I like about this? What makes this better than the others? It can help you figure out what parts of your body you like to highlight and you can get more pieces that help you celebrate that instead of just focusing on covering parts you don’t like so much. We’re not saying that if you are struggling to feel confident in lingerie you should just throw it all away–not at all! But if you have some pieces you like and others that make you feel bad about yourself, get rid of the bad and keep the good.
This one I’ve got several! I had these pajama tops for years, and they’re shapeless, and they’re too short, and I feel awful in them. And then I don’t even know what this big nightgown is! Plus I had a pair of underwear that once matched a cute bra, but now matches nothing and it doesn’t fit me well.
Running Lingerie Dump Count: 20
There you go! I came up with 20 to dump, and I actually thought I had my drawers pretty purged. What about you?
And as an added challenge, to replace items you throw out don’t just buy the first cheap thing you find on the sales rack. Hunt around! Try new lingerie boutiques you haven’t been in before, look online on Etsy or Amazon or other online retailers with a great return policy to find nightgowns and bras that make you feel awesome. Really learn what makes you feel confident, and don’t go back to the “blah” items again!
So here’s what’s going to happen with this lingerie chucking challenge:
I strongly encourage you to DO IT! It took me all of 5 minutes this morning, and it was actually a big weight off. My drawers look nicer. So I’ll be posting on Facebook later this week and asking you all what you’ve gotten rid of, and in my Friday email, I’ll be giving people a chance to join the challenge to win a $25 Amazon gift certificate!
So sign up for the emails! And be sure to follow on Facebook, too.
Check out other posts in our lingerie series:
- How to Choose Lingerie that Makes You Feel Sexy
- Choosing Panties for Your Body Type–that Make You Feel Sexy and Comfortable
- 10 Things to Throw Out of Your Lingerie Drawer Right Now (This one!)
- Common Bra Problems–and How to Fix Them!
- How to Find a Bra that Actually Fits when You’re a Rare Size
And now–let me know. Think we missed a category of lingerie you should chuck? How many items did you purge? Let us know in the comments!
I did a version of this when I moved. The weird thing is that I actually feel better about my smaller collection of lingerie, because it’s all in good condition and fits properly*.
Mornings are much easier, too – open top drawer, pull out almost anything. No more hunting around for what fits and doesn’t fit.
*As I heard bra size can be bigger, smaller, or the same after pregnancy, I kept two or three really pretty, but too-small-now, bras. I figure that if (sob) I lose size in my chest, at least I will have some really gorgeous favourites to wear.
That sounds lovely! I try to purge pretty regularly, too. I was amazed I came up with 20 items pretty quickly!
I just did this over the weekend (and my closet too, I’m doing a capsule wardrobe challenge thing and I’m super excited about it), and actually FOLDED my lingerie drawer KonMari-ishly. It looks so pretty. Overall, having gotten rid of things that I don’t like/wear, I don’t actually need anything new, I’m just happier with the things I have because they are the ones I like.
I love how pretty my lingerie drawer looks, too! 🙂 I’m a big fan of folding.
I’m going to take this challenge, but where I really need to address issues is the bra drawer! If you want to tackle that one in a post… 😉
Tomorrow’s is about how to choose bras that fit for your body type! And I did throw out a few bras. 🙂 They’re just peeking under a lot of the clothing above because I didn’t want to show pics of my bras. 🙂
Before we conceived baby #1 and when I was a young professional, I did a huge overhaul of my entire wardrobe (perfect timing. 🤦🏻♀️ Hardly any of it fits currently though I know it will once my body has had time to “regulate” after all the new mom fluctuations). While my waredrobe may not fit or look on my body as I’d like it to at the moment, my underwear drawer is pretty good to go 👌🏼 and the only reason I don’t wear some of my bras is because I’m nursing and my boobs are hourly fluctuating by several cup sizes!
However, my mother is the queen of holy underwear and bras. I asked her what bra size she wore recently and she said she had no idea. I asked to look at the label on her bra and found that it was 100% unreadable from so many years of wear!
LADIES!!! We deserve better than fugly old bras and stretched out panties! Step up your game! Start feeling pretty again cuz you deserve it & you are pretty!!! Even if you’re not happy with your current body shape or size, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to still feel good in the clothes you wear, and that includes your underwear!!
Have you ever seen Bravado! bras? I bought two at my hospital’s nursing support center, but you can probably get them online, too. Wire-free, with a curved foam insert that provides comfortable shaping and nipple coverage. They tolerate large fluctuations in cup size and hold up well to washing. Super comfortable, and they come in several bright jewel colors. They are fuller-coverage, more like a sports bra than a lacy push-up type thing, but definitely the best pregnancy/nursing bras I’ve ever found!
Good luck with your little one!
Also ladies, I’d recommend Poshmark if you come across things you still think are pretty and I’m fairly good condition but you find you just don’t wear anymore or don’t fill out anymore or spill out of now. That way, you can earn a little money to go towards something nice and new too 👌🏼
I just threw away all of my underwear. Now what? 😂
OK not really, but I probably could just start over!
I’m in the same boat 😂
Hey Sheila,
I’ve been following your podcasts for a while now but am commenting for the first time. Love your podcasts and your blog! You are so funny and relatable and always have amazing, practical and Christ-centred advice.
Currently purging my underwear, bra and lingerie drawers and it feels so good 👌🏼
Yay! It does feel great, doesn’t it?
Ha! I hear you. That’s how I felt when I got rid of all the underwear this morning with no elastic. I’m going to have to go shopping!
Haha! This morning as I went to get a shower, I noticed my underwear had torn right in the bum. When I went to throw it in the laundry the hole just seemed to stare at me as in M are you seriously going to keep me? This hole is only going to get bigger in the wash. Haha! So I took it and ripped it apart. That felt SOOOOOO good! Hahaha! I realized I had had that pair for around 7 years, it was time for it to go. Now I’m encouraged to find all its siblings and get rid of them too.
Yay! That’s wonderful. It does make you feel better. 🙂
Yeah, I don’t have the money to replace all my pajamas with holes or that are otherwise ragged. Most of my underwear is okay at least. I replace them regularly because it’s necessary after the elastic gives out. And I only have three bras that I will wear now. Well, technically, I think they are called strapless bralettes, and I now refuse to wear anything different. 😃 Comfort wins that battle, finally. Anyhow, they are still in good condition, so I’m not worried about them. I could maybe use a 4th just to make it a little easier for rotation.
Tell the guys they need to purge their drawers now and then too! I’m sure she won’t want to see you in that “emergency pair” that’s held on to just in case all the others are in the hamper. I’ll be honest. I don’t like going shopping, especially for underwear. There always seems to be someone else in the isle at walmart. “Hey! A little privacy here!” But thank goodness for self checkout and online shopping…
A problem that can’t be mine alone is that Husband prefers different cuts and styles than I like. I know part of this is on me to have that conversation about “feel sexy do sexy”. However, even in past purges he has asked, “Can we keep special items for our time?” These items tend to be the very ones I would prefer to toss.
Period underwear. Got way too many of those. Everytime I save my good panties for non period days, somehow my period surprises me by showing up a couple days early. Aaarg! The black ones don’t have stains lol.
If you know what size you need in a particular brand/style… try checking both ebay and the manufactures own website. (Sometimes they even have a separate clearance or discount site) Lots of times you can find really good deals at both.
If in UK, . Worth trying Pour Moi website directly as they often have really good sales, I just got a great bikini set for about £14 “including” the shipping cost. About 75% off reg price.
I hardly ever pay reg price for my lingerie and I have some pretty nice stuff. Like £60 bras I pick up for £10. Although ebay likes to make It hard to find the matching underwear in my size… every size but the one “I” need… grrrrr
Great list!
I’d save those “period pjs” for period days. If a woman is prone to leak overnight, there’s no sense buying new ones to just stain them again.
Don’t rule out ~all~ of the old tshirts and things. When my sister and brother in law got married (they were already living together), he specifically said to her, “Don’t go buying any of that shiny stuff to wear in bed just because it’s our honeymoon. That’s not you. You sleep in baggy, mismatched pyjamas with baggy, mismatched socks. That’s who I’m marrying. That’s how I want to see you on our honeymoon.” And whilst the circumstances may be different, I’d expect for a lot of husbands, some of that sentiment may well remain.
I’m not saying wear them every day, or even every week, I’m just saying that you don’t have to not-wear them ever again, either. Isn’t there a different type of sexiness that comes from letting hubby see you that unfiltered? Again, not all the time. But not necessarily never, either.
Sheila, your post encouraged me to clean out my dresser and closet. My weakness has always been bras. If I saw a pretty one I’d always buy it. And sometimes when I was feeling stressed or sad a new bra would make me feel better. But I’d usually just wear it a few times and then forget about it. So yesterday I counted and I have 76 bras, half of which are from my pre-kid years and don’t fit anymore. Of those, there are maybe 5 that I wear on a regular basis😂. So I did a major purge, and my lingerie drawer looks so much neater. Thanks again!
76!!!! Oh, my goodness! That’s amazing. Congratulations!
Ahhhhhh. That feels so much better! I looked into my closet as well and removed a few items that remind me of unpleasant relationships or unhappy times, along with the worn out undergarments, which took up so much room I couldn’t justify buying myself nicer things. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂 We’re about to move, so less to relocate is a good thing. 🙂
Yay! So glad it feels lighter.