Choosing Panties for Your Body Type–that Make You Feel Sexy and Comfortable

by | Aug 14, 2019 | Sex, Uncategorized | 61 comments

Merchandise is Here!

What kind of underwear should you wear?

And can choosing the right kind for you body type help you feel sexy?

I’m on a mission this month to help us all reclaim our lingerie drawers and choose items that help us feel sexy!

Every Wednesday in the month of August we’re going to be talking about bringing sexy back, and last week I wrote about how to choose lingerie that makes you feel good. The point of that post was to make sure that you had items that made you feel good that you would actually wear–not just the anniversary items that come off in 30 seconds, but things you wear to bed at night that look attractive and are comfortable, and underwear that you wear on a daily basis that makes you feel good. Today I thought we’d focus more on underwear, and next week we’ll turn to bras.

And this post does contain affiliate links as I try to show you the different types of underwear.

First, some terminology that can help us in choosing underwear!

The five different cuts of panties for women

Underwear comes in all sorts of different styles, or cuts, where the shape is different. As I began to look at all of these, I realized that I didn’t even know what they all were! So let’s take a look.

1. Boy shorts (also called “boy-cut panties”)

When you hear “boy shorts” you may not think that these would be flirty and sexy, but all this means is that the underwear are more shaped like shorts. These are a full-coverage option that are still low-waisted. Here’s an example of some cute lace boy shorts:

6 different lacy boy shorts

Find these boyshorts here.

These can be good for limiting underwear lines under dresses and skirts if you get seamless boyshorts without needing to wear a thong. Also, since there is more side coverage, it’s more likely to lie flat when you have a pair that fits correctly. This is a really great option for women who want to have a bit more coverage with their underwear in order to feel comfortable and contained.

A problem with boy shorts is that women with fuller behinds can often feel that these just end up becoming thicker “bum floss” than other underwear cuts since they have so much more fabric but still can ride up on women with rounder bottoms. These can be fantastic for both plus-sized and smaller women with more subtle curves, but if you have a very round bum you may end up with a lot of wedgies.

Briefs

Briefs come in multiple versions, which is where it gets complicated. So let’s talk about each:

2. Classic Briefs (sometimes called “high waisted briefs”)

This is the kind of cut that often is limited to just being seen as “granny panties” like this:

Lady holding white high-waisted female briefs

But that’s not all classic briefs can be. Classic briefs sit at around the natural waist and offer full coverage of the bum. You can get classic briefs in all sorts of colours, fabrics, and patterns and they can be really cute! Especially if you like that comfy-lounging-at-home look!

If you like to wear high-waisted clothes or dresses and tunics that come in at your natural waist, getting classic cuts and high-waisted underwear can help reduce panty lines at the hips. If, however, you tend to wear lower-rise pants, these may ride a little too high and will be very evident whenever you bend over!

Women with rounder behinds may find briefs in general far more comfortable than lower-rise options because they have more fabric available to cover the bum, resulting in less bum flossing or riding up! Due to their high-waisted nature, classic briefs in particular can be incredibly helpful for women who struggle to find underwear that actually makes them feel covered and doesn’t cause unwanted rolls or pantylines around the hips.

Here are some great ones from Amazon:

See those panties, and other classic briefs, here.

3. Hipster briefs 

These are briefs (full-coverage underwear) that sit at the hips instead of the natural waist. That’s it! The only difference is how low these ride! I’ve chosen some from Amazon here to show you that are 100% cotton, but also have a thick waistband to encourage them to stay in place:

Low-waisted female briefs

See these, and other Hipster briefs, here.

4. Bikini briefs

Bikini briefs sit very low–below the hip bone–and often just cover the top of the behind, often with a little bit of a “crack” peeking out. They often come quite high up the leg as well, and are meant for minimal coverage. Some bikini briefs come entirely in spandex or elastic material, and the benefit of these is that they have no panty lines. Many bikini briefs just “hug” the bottom of your bottom, rather than using elastic around the leg openings, to cover up any potential panty lines.

Here are some basic ones from Amazon, but you can find so many different styles with lace, colour, and more. This is definitely the most plentiful panty type (though it isn’t best for many body types!)

 

Purple, Black, Blue, Red, and Pink Bikini Briefs

See these, and other choices, here.

5. Thongs

Thongs give no coverage at all to the behind, but instead have a tiny bit of material which tends to ride INSIDE the crack of your behind. The amount of coverage on the front of the thong varies–some have almost full coverage, and some have very little. Some women swear by the thong, because you can’t “fall out” of a thong if there’s really nothing to stay in. Others hate them because it feels like you have a permanent wedgie.

Two things you must be wary of with thongs: ensure they don’t cause any friction or chafing, but that the “thong” part is soft and as wide as possible. A little bit of string can sting! Second, wash yourself well after a bowel movement. Since the thong sits so close to the anus, it’s easy to transfer bacteria from that area to the vaginal and urethral area, and that can make certain diseases more likely.

 

8 Differently-Colored Thong Panties

Find these, and other thongs, here.

So as you can see, there are a lot of different options for coverage! How do you decide which one is for you?

Choosing Panty Cut Based on Body Type

We all come with with different body shapes, and I can summarize them like these:    

 

Body-Type chart

The Rounded Body Type

Women who are rounded, or “apple” shaped, can run into problems with feeling as if their underwear is always falling down, or feeling as if there’s not enough coverage. However, if you buy the big high waisted briefs, you can also feel as if there’s just a ton of fabric that is always bunching up.

Choose high waisted underwear that have a large elastic band that sits flat against the waist. Do NOT get the flimsy underwear with the light elastic at the top, or it will start to roll down after a few wears. 

Also, try to choose underwear that’s higher on the leg, and steer clear of boy-cuts. You want high on the leg, and high in the waist, and that will help you feel more contained and structured. 

If you do want to try other underwear cuts, don’t be afraid to go up a size or two! You may find that a medium classic brief fits, but you do better in a large, or even extra large, bikini brief.

The Rectangle Body Type

Rectangle women tend to be straight up and down, with a minimum of curves.

You don’t need to worry about falling out of your underwear, but you’d also like your underwear to create a few curves for you! 

Rectangles can wear any style, and in many ways they’re the easiest to fit. But bikini cuts will likely work best for you. Classic briefs or high waisted briefs will tend to have too much fabric, especially in the bottom area. Try bikini briefs, especially those that skim the bottom with all elastic fabric. 

The Hourglass Body Type

Hourglass women have that lots of curves with a very defined waist!

That makes underwear often stay up much easier, because you have that waist. But you can also run into problems with a larger bottom area that needs more coverage. 

Hourglass women may have problems with underwear riding UP, so styles with more fabric at the bottom and more structure can help. Boy shorts and hipsters can look great for this body type. Bikini briefs, with little structure, could give you some issues.

The Triangle Body Type

Women shaped more like a triangle, or more “pear” shaped, have similar issues to Hourglass women.

They’re rounder on the bottom, but the difference is that they aren’t as balanced on the top.

You’ll find the suggestions for the hourglass type also work for you. And another suggestion: if you’re just finding that the underwear isn’t giving enough coverage, or is riding up too much, it could be a problem with size. Go up a size, and it may fit more comfortably. Sometimes the problem isn’t too much fabric; it’s not enough in the right places to sit properly.

The Inverted Triangle Body Type

Then there are the women who are very top heavy, but rather straight up and down on the bottom half.

If you’re shaped like this, a lot of the suggestions for the rectangle body shape will work for you. Try bikini briefs, and stay away from anything super high waisted or anything with too much coverage, because you’ll feel like you’re swimming in it. If you do choose something more classic, go DOWN a size from your typical bikini brief, since you don’t have as much to cover in the behind area!

C. Final Panty Hints–for Health and Feeling Sexy!

Finally, a few more things to remember about panties.

Let lace and colour do the work

If your body type just works best in a more classic or high waisted brief, but you don’t want to feel like you’re wearing granny panties, let lace and colour do the work! Stay away from the plain white or plain beige underwear, and choose lots of polka dots or pretty colours, like pinks and purples. And add lots of lace to the front! Be careful of lace around the leg openings, because that can chafe. But lots of lace in the front can help you feel feminine.

Marie Kondo your underwear drawer

I love an underwear drawer where I can actually see what I have! The easiest way to do that is to roll up your underwear and store it on its side, like this:

Open drawer filled with organized underwear

Or you can fold it the way Marie Kondo does: in thirds first, and then in half, and then you store them standing up. That’s actually what I do! And it’s so fun to open the drawer in the morning and take a look at my options.

The big thing is that you want it to be pretty. You want to feel nice in your underwear, and if underwear is fun to look at in the morning, you’ll feel happier. So find a way to store it nicely!

Remember the most important part of the panty is the elastic

What determines whether a panty will ride up or not is definitely based on the amount of fabric for your body type. But elastic also plays a huge role! Flimsy elastic often wears out. When possible, choose panties with wide elastic at the top (like the hipster briefs above), or even elastic made of lace (like the thong picture above). That’s more likely to stay in place.

Wash your underwear carefully

Elastic and dryers don’t go together. If you want your underwear to last, don’t put it in the dryer. Hang it to dry. And be careful of using regular detergent on your underwear if you have sensitive skin, because that part of your body is the most sensitive. If you’re wearing expensive underwear, handwashing will help it last even 10 times longer.

Choose cotton–at least in the crotch

Cotton breathes. Other materials just don’t, no matter how pretty they look. Make sure any underwear you buy has cotton in the crotch to reduce the risk of yeast infections or UTIs.

Don’t wear underwear to bed!

My final tip about underwear? Sometimes it’s best not to wear any at all! Try to avoid panties when you sleep. Your body needs time to breathe, and wearing underwear 24 hours a day isn’t actually good for you. Choose pajamas with lots of room for give, and try going commando. It may reduce the risk of yeast infections for you!

You know, it’s funny, but after writing this post, I’ve realized that the reason I don’t like my underwear is that I buy the wrong type!

I always gravitate towards bikini briefs, but I’m now going to explore more classic briefs that are pretty. So that was actually pretty good to know!

So there you go–my complete underwear post. And now I’d love to hear from you: Do you find underwear slipping down? Riding up? Just generally uncomfortable? Have you found solutions or a style that works best? Let’s talk in the comments!

 

Learn Great Sex Tips!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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61 Comments

  1. Maria

    My favorite for years have been the Vanity Fair, a.k.a. Vassarette, Illumination Microfiber String Bikini. I have a slight pear shape and those fit wonderfully Those are also great for hiding a little bit of extra tummy that sits below belly button. One downfall is panty lines with dress slacks, but I wear jeans 99% of the time Well that and the struggle I battle that my former husband called the bikinis granny panties, but like you’ve share thongs just don’t work well for fuller bums. 😛 Those were worn, but not for everyday, all day option.

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      I feel ya with the pear shaped struggle with underwear! Honestly most women I talk to with a fuller behind prefer more full-coverage–and I think they are really flattering, too, since they can be sporty or flirty or both! 🙂

      Reply
    • H

      Yes yes yes! I would say my figure also would be “slight pear”, and I wear the Vanity Fair Illumination Bikini basically all the time! I have so much trouble with other styles and I was so excited to find those. I have a few other pairs I’ve kept because they’re cute (and hubby likes them ;)) but I rarely wear them for everyday because they’re so uncomfortable.

      Reply
  2. Don’t forget the scar!

    These are great tips, but the biggest factor for me is how the panties sit along my c-section scar. (I’ve lost all the baby weight and then some, but there’s no getting around the fact that my body has a new “fold” there.)
    I find that hipster briefs or a wider cut thong are the most comfortable, as they sit just above the scar, but it must have a more narrow waistband. The wider the waistband/elastic, the more likely it is to fold right at the scar.
    Also, I second the recommendations of cotton and commando at night! I’ve had far fewer issues since making that my rule, and thankfully there are a lot of stores that carry beautifully patterned panties in cotton options!

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      Oh that’s a really great point! So glad you brought that up!

      Reply
      • Susie Lu

        Yes I agree with her point as I too have the same issue. Glad to know it’s not just me thanks for the insight,

        Reply
    • Rachel Corpier

      I also have a c-section scar, but as I’m also plus-sized and carry a lot of weight, I can’t wear a bikini cut at all. The waistband hits right at my scar. I wear classic briefs. I used to wear the ones that are hi-cut on the sides of the thigh, but they started becoming more uncomfortable also, so I went back to full coverage briefs and am so much more comfortable. However, I also have a very low budget for clothes and highly sensitive skin, so I have to wear 100% cotton, especially when it comes to underwear. The most affordable and comfortable ones I have found are the Just my size briefs by Hanes. Also, while I’m sure my husband wishes I would go commando on occasion, I have an anxiety disorder that just makes that a no-go for me. I don’t care if I’m just at home. If I’m wearing clothes even pajamas, I have to wear underwear. 😃

      Reply
    • Joy

      Oh man! Yes, after my c section I found my usual underwear didn’t work well. I found the warner brand with the higher waist and the thicker lace waistband. Sat above my scar and the “fold”.

      Reply
    • Janean

      You forgot the French cut brief. I’m a full-figured woman and I swear by the jockey brand French cut.

      Reply
  3. Lindsey

    Full-figured woman here, and I just wanted to mention that going commando doesn’t have to be only for night time. I never understood thongs because I’m twice as comfortable without underwear, and it isn’t like anyone is going to know the difference. As a plus, mentioning to your husband that you aren’t wearing any panties is often just as titillating as him seeing you in a cute pair. 😉

    Reply
    • Rebecca Schulz

      I go commando about 90% of the time! Only wear panties if I’m going to wear jeans, which I don’t do frequently. I usually live in maxi skirts. Funny thing is, I never really thought to tell my husband.. it was just my thing and always had been. He just found out recently, after almost 10 years of marriage, and he’s loving it! 😀

      Reply
  4. Becca

    These are great posts, and I like reading them, but I find they create in me a longing to be something I’m not. Unfortunately, my body type is “yuck”. I just don’t think pretty things are for me. I’ve tried, but I end up feeling like I’m trying too hard to be something I just am not. Pretty.
    When I saw the photo that goes with the post I thought “oh what pretty panties, the kind beautiful women are allowed to wear.”
    My husband does claim he likes it when I wear pretty things, but I hate how I look. Objectively I’m probably not hideous, but I put something like that on and look in the mirror and all I can think is “that’s not for you! That’s for prettier women. Stop pretending.” And I take it off and go back to what I feel I deserve. It’s very self defeating.
    However, until I get to a point where I feel I am attractive enough to wear clothing made for attractive women, I’m kinda stuck in a rut.

    Reply
    • EM

      Oh sweetie, I am saying a prayer for you right now that God would reveal to you the beauty He sees in you, that He intended when He created you. That you would believe your husband when he says you look pretty. And that you would start to see it yourself. There is a wonderful book called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge about seeing the beauty in how God made you. If you’re ready to find healing on this issue, I would highly recommend it.

      Reply
    • Jane Eyre

      Oh, Becca. That’s no way to live. God loves you and made your body in His image. Your husband loves you and your body. Pretty things are made for all women. There’s no body requirement for them – you are more than special enough.

      Maybe follow some middle-aged, stylish, not model women on Instagram?

      Reply
      • Jane Eyre

        Since I am really into concrete steps:

        Get used to wearing pretty things. Find cute ballet flats (which look great on every woman). Get pretty hair clips or those elastics with decorations on them. Wear a pretty piece of jewelry every day, even if it’s a watch or stud earrings.

        Once you get used to pretty accessories, ease into things like tinted lip gloss (if you don’t already wear it or lipstick), a swipe of mascara, a pretty nightgown, a new haircut, etc.

        Once you are used to thinking of yourself as someone who wears pretty things, go shopping for pretty underwear with your husband, and trust him when he says he would be happy for you to wear something like that.

        (I grew up around very pretty but veerrrrry competitive women, so I get some of where you are coming from.)

        Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that, Becca. That’s truly a really painful thing to go through.

      I want to say, though, that often we have this mentality of “Once I do X, I’ll be happy” or “Once I look like Y, I’ll finally do Z” and it’s not actually true.

      But what happens is we get into this mindset that where we are is never good enough. So we eventually get down to our goal weight but we still see things we don’t like about our bodies because the problem wasn’t necessarily the body as much as how we were thinking about our self-worth in TERMS of our bodies. That’s WHY we’re writing these posts–to help women say “Screw it, I’m going to just buy the nice underwear now and enjoy the body I have NOW while I work towards becoming my healthiest self. I’m not going to put off treating myself well just because I don’t feel “perfect” yet!”

      I personally haven’t really struggled with this type of thinking from a body image perspective, but this same type of thinking has been a recurring struggle in terms of mental health and anxiety issues in my marriage. My husband eventually had to sit me down and tell me, “You’re no longer allowed to say, ‘I’ll be happy when…’. Instead, you need to figure out how to find contentment even when things aren’t perfect.” It was harsh, but it really has helped us as a couple focus more on thriving in the moment instead of trying to control the future. And that’s a really difficult lesson I’m still learning (and I imagine I’ll have to learn all over again when the baby comes, as one often does!).

      So I just want to encourage you that you don’t have to wait until you feel “perfect” to try to learn to enjoy your body. You can start telling yourself positive things when you look in the mirror. If you put on a cute pair of underwear with a nice bra and those thoughts of “this is for prettier women” come into your head, you can combat that with, “My husband loves it when I wear pretty things and I want to be the kind of woman with the confidence to wear these kinds of things. So bugger off, I’m wearing this.”

      Said a quick prayer for you, because I know how difficult that kind of mindset can be, no matter what it relates to.

      Reply
    • Kya

      I am not the most attractive woman you will ever meet. I have never stopped the room and turned heads by walking in. I’m pretty sure I’ve never even been catcalled! However, I have come to realize that “attractiveness” has a lot more to do with the effort you put into your appearance than it does with your natural gifts. If I make sure to pick clothing that works well with my figure and is in colors I enjoy wearing, and I actually take a couple minutes to do my hair, I look good. I will never be the prettiest girl in the room, but people who see me will see the effort and intention that I put into my appearance, and that shows my self-confidence and the respect I have for myself. And I know it sounds cheesy, but confidence really is about the sexiest thing you can ever wear, regardless of your appearance otherwise.

      As a side note, I don’t like lacy pink panties, either, but not because I’m “not pretty enough” to wear them. I’m not very girly, and wearing things that are makes me feel ridiculous. My favorite panties ever were some solid-color cotton string bikini briefs. Nothing fancy about them at all, no lace or patterns, but they fit my personality, there were comfortable, and I loved them. And so did my husband! I wore them to death several years ago and he still brings them up occasionally. I should really find more.

      Reply
      • Susanna

        Kya, I TOTALLY agree! Also, I personally found a lot of help from the Dress Your Truth site. I have finally found the style that reflects on the outside who I really am on the inside. It was a game-changer for me.

        Reply
        • Rebecca Lindenbach

          That’s so wonderful, Susanna! It’s crazy how finding things that feel like “me” can make such a huge difference, eh?

          Reply
      • Sheila Wray Gregoire

        Completely agree with you there, Kya! Attractiveness is about how you choose to present yourself far more than actual giftings. When you take care to buy stuff that suits you, and when you look like you took some care, you’ll look attractive!

        Reply
    • Emily

      Hi Becca, I feel you here. I grew up a tomboy and eschewed what is commercially peddled to women as what they are supposed to wear. I can’t see myself in any of the panties pictured with this post! It’s not my style, and I happen to know, after trying for years to find comfortable, quality, feminine underwear, that none of those would fit my tush or my personality! I studied design. I have found there are some quality, classy, elegant, minimalist and working (meaning, more than just a visual aesthetic with the ability to function as more than a way to lure a husband to sex) undergarment and nightwear lines that CAN work for ladies who feel like you and I do. Frankly, what many people consider sexy, I find trashy. You being you, not the Victoria’s Secret replica, is what will make you the most comfortable in your beautiful skin. God made you to be unique. You don’t have to wear the stuff seen here or commercially peddled as “sexy” to be You Sexy. I feel horribly inauthentic and out of place when I try to wear this overtly sexy stuff (most of it is cheaply made really and only meant to titillate). . . Being me in the way I feel sexy is important to me. I don’t like feeling I am having to hide behind a pair of crotchless, frilly Fire red panties in order to have my husband notice me. It just makes me feel worse about myself. I have found that simply wearing clean, comfortable panties, a well-fitting bra is enough for me and my husband. Taking care of my body and being me, being loved for me – not for some put-on sexy gimmick, makes me feel safe and sexy. Most of my underwear is quite plain. Being true to yourself and authentic is very important. That’s the sexiest thing about every woman. Don’t feel you are missing out because you don’t see yourself in these things you seem to think are for certain women. You don’t have to pander! Hey, most men will be happy with a wife who doesn’t blow the budget on sexy underwear but willingly shows up in his shower wearing nothing but a thin white t-shirt (his or your own). If you want some fancy underpants, get them and stop thinking you don’t deserve them! If you just feel like it’s not your style, you can totally feel sexy in other ways of expression. I hope you will be encouraged!

      Reply
    • Sarah O

      Hey there Becca! I probably have some different reasons, but your feelings definitely resonated with me. Something that helped me was to play with words a little.

      In my case, I am tall with broad shoulders and just generally large features. This is true even when I’m at at healthy weight. As a result, I just simply can’t pull off “cute”, “dainty”, or “delicate”. When I try I just look like an unconvincing transvestite, if you’ll pardon the term.

      However, I used to think this meant I couldn’t do feminine at all, when really I just needed to stretch my words to create some different, if less mainstream, definitions of feminine.

      If cute is out for you, what about classy? Elegant? Exotic? Daring? Bold? Subtle? Poised?

      I can’t do polka dots, but I can do jewel tones. Don’t like lace? Try leather! Not so much on shiny jewelry? What about beads or cloth? Get on YouTube and try some makeup tutorials.

      In short, if you don’t meet the definition of feminine, maybe start by working on your definition rather than your self. God made you, and made you a woman. You are therefore feminine. Is there anything that’s fun about that? Anything you could celebrate?

      I am sorry it is such a struggle. I am still working on it, but I hope this helps.

      Reply
      • Becca

        Thank you, Sarah, and to everyone for your kind replies. It helps to be able to talk about it.

        Reply
      • Kya

        Oooooh, I like this a lot!

        Reply
    • Misty S

      Oh Sweetheart… my heart just broke for you. I’ve never struggled to that extent and I can’t imagine what that is like. Just please listen to the outpouring of truth you are receiving on here. God made you that way you are and God DOES NOT make mistakes. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You may not be the same as everyone else and that ok. God created you in His image… wonderful and beautiful.

      I agree with the other posters about finding what fits your style and personality , what makes you comfortable, but stills makes you feel pretty, confident, sexy. I love the small practical steps offered so I’ll give one of my own: I live in black stretch cotton hipster panties from Lane Bryant. I’m a full-figured girl so I need the extra coverage but they don’t look as brief-like as the ones pictured above. I love walking around in those and one of my husbands t-shirts… and he loves it too. I’m not a frilly or fancy type person. I like comfort above all, but I feel sexy in that because the color and cut make it different than granny-panties while still being comfortable and cute.

      Try something like that and get used to the idea that you may not be Cindy Crawford but you are the apple of one man’s eye. Take a self-esteem boost from that. Let your husband’s words help you too your healing.

      Reply
  5. EM

    Don’t forget to re-evaluate your undies after having babies! I used to wear thongs, but they have become less and less comfortable after each baby. I can’t stand anything rubbing against my lady bits now, so boy shorts are out to because they do give me a wedgie. I’ve become a big fan of briefs with wide lace bands at the waist. They stay in place so well, the high waisted ones really show off my shape, and I feel pretty in the lace. I still wear thongs for special occasions but I never wear them all day anymore. A tip to keep higher waisted ones from showing when you wear jeans – I have some nice form fitting camisoles that are long enough to tuck in. They cover the top of the undies and do a great job smoothing the mom belly under a blouse. I’ve lost all the weight but it’s never going to be as smooth as it was before!

    Reply
  6. Natalie

    Wait, you’re not supposed to wear underwear to bed?!?! Won’t discharge get on your bed, then, meaning you have to do your sheets more frequently?

    Lol, I’m not gonna show my husband this article because he wants me to sleep naked every night and wear thongs all the time. That’s what he’d have me do if he had any say in it. 😂🙈 I’m a pear with a fuller bottom and hips and a good amount of inner thigh fat (which is why not shorts have never worked for me). I have worn nylon and elastane bikini cut undies from Aeries for over a decade. Before that and after my cotton Disney princess panties stage lol, it was granny panties from Costco at the recommendation of my mother. I HATED those!!! But now I’m worried about my underwear not being cotton. Though I’ve never had a UTI or yeast infection 🤔 so maybe my non-cotton underwear is still fairly breathable.

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      Most non-cotton underwear comes with cotton inserts in the crotch area. 🙂 As long as the part that’s actually near the crotch is breathable, the rest is usually fine as a polyester!

      Reply
    • Kay

      Oh, wear nothing to bed! It’s the best way to sleep in my opinion! Your husband will love it to! (And about the discharge, no, it will not get on the sheets, at least it doesn’t for me. Still wash sheets weekly tho.)

      Reply
      • Natalie

        The few times I’ve slept naked, I did have some discharge get on the bed. But they were already dirty sheets that I was washing the next day so I didn’t mind. I wear panty liners daily no matter where I’m at in the month when Aunt Flo isn’t in town, so maybe I just discharge a lot? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve been that way since puberty. I also get wet before and during sex really easily too even if I’m not that aroused, so maybe I’m just a naturally wet woman hahaha 🙈

        And you’re right Rebecca. I checked and they do have a cotton panel, so we’re good 👍🏼

        Reply
        • Rebecca Lindenbach

          I think that this is one of those many things where everyone is different. 🙂 Some people have more, some people have less. And in general, just do whatever makes you most comfortable! If you’re not someone who gets a lot of yeast infections, probably no need to try going commando because what you’re doing is obviously working! 🙂

          Reply
  7. A regular reader

    The only panty style I don’t see is the one I’ve been wearing for all my adult life–high cut briefs, sometimes called French cut briefs. They have a higher waist and decent coverage in the back, but the legs are cut higher on the sides, which has the flattering effect of making the legs look longer.

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      Oh that’s interesting! I haven’t ever actually seen those in many stores around where I live here in Ottawa. When we do an update to the post in a few days after more recommendations come in I’ll include your comment! 🙂

      Reply
    • A regular reader

      The reason I prefer the high waist is that although I am on the slender side and very fit, my entire abdomen is covered with loose folds of skin (twin skin hanging down there, too) with layer upon layer of stretch marks, literally from hip to hip and belly button to crotch. The high cut briefs cover most of this, and if I want to help smooth it out under clothes, I wear a shaper garment over my panties as well.

      Reply
    • Rachel Corpier

      I used to wear those also. They don’t work for me anymore, but they had also started to become rarer to find the older and bigger I got.

      Reply
  8. Emily

    I disagree with the recommendation that bikini briefs don’t necessarily work for hourglass women. I am hourglass bordering on pear shaped with wider hips, thicker thighs and a narrow waist. I have five children (including a set of twins), so my belly is a bit, well, flabby. My butt is the typical wide, flat, Caucasian style. I am 5’9”, 148 lbs. most of my weight being carried in my hips and thighs. My absolute favorite “everyday” panties are the STRING BIKINIS made by Jockey. Not only do they make everyday seem a little sexy with the string but they are ultra comfortable for anyone with wide hips and full thighs. I recommend! You can get them through their online site in cotton white, synthetic fabrics and a variety of colors and patterns. For real, these things cover my backside comfortably (no wedgies) while fooling the eye into focusing on the tiny triangle in front of my wide expanse. My husband and I both prefer elegant and classy over overtly teasing and frou-frou. If you need lots of lace and neon pink, my recommendation will not suit you, but if you are into quality, simple but sexy, elegant everyday undies, please check the Jockey STRING BIKINI out!

    Reply
    • Emily

      Also for more frilly dress up occasions, I adore Wacoal high cut briefs. Get a matching bra, these products are high quality and sexy!

      Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      I wonder if the difference is in behind shape rather than the overall figure when it comes to the bikini briefs? Because I’m hourglass/pear-shaped as well and I CANNOT wear bikini briefs at all or else they become bum floss because I have a rather round behind AND wide hips. So it’s interesting that we have totally different experiences despite labeling ourselves the same body type!

      Anyone else have any thoughts/experience with this? We’re planning on updating the post in a few days with these great ideas/feedback we’re getting, so if there’s a consensus here we’ll include it in the update!

      Reply
      • Emily

        I think so about the behind shape. I truly have a droopy pancake behind! I run but don’t routinely do squats, etc. I bought some Vanity Fair string bikinis today, haven’t tried them on, but will get back with a review concerning if the backside coverage in Jockey vs. Vanity Fair make a difference!

        Reply
      • Emily

        So the Jockey String Bikini definitely has more coverage in the rear. The Vanity Fair (Illumination string bikini) is definitely less rear coverage, a bit more sexy in feel and designs (both structure and textile prints/colors). For me personally, because of thigh circumference, the higher cut, the less fabric pulled across my hip and upper thigh, the more comfortable. This also may have to do with my droopy pancake, haha! I do like the Vanity Fair version too though, a tad sexier.

        Reply
      • Maria

        Okay a little more detail on my shape instead of just saying slight pear. I’m not your typical pear with a tiny waist. When thinner or closer to low end of ideal weight my waist and hips have about a 10″ difference and when heavier about 8″ difference. My bust is quite small AA-A which is how I end up “pear”.

        I don’t do boyshorts because regardless of size, I have saddlebags. I don’t believe my bum was ever the cute bubble just fuller/perky and now at 48 it’s lost some perkiness. My hips are most likely considered wider giving a larger circumference.

        All that to say I do think the fit has a lot to do with the shape of one’s bum and thighs than overall body shape. Nonetheless, some bodyshapes, hourglass for example, can make even high-waisted briefs look cute and/or sexy.

        Reply
  9. A regular reader

    I’ve been looking for an opportunity to share this little tip, and this post seems appropriate! To make one’s derriere more touchable, exfoliate the entire surface vigorously every day in the shower and rub in some lotion, butter, or oil before dressing. My husband loves that I do this, and doing this is one small thing that helps me tune into my sexual side, which has needed remedial work!

    Reply
    • Emily

      Great tip! I had never tried “body brushing” until recently, and I was surprised at how soft it left my skin. I use those inexpensive exfoliating gloves before I shower or bath, literally starting to rub from the extremities of my limbs and working inward towards my heart/core (obviously being careful around delicate lady parts). It’s like a mini massage that wakes up my body, puts me in touch with myself physically. After showering, I also moisturize if and where needed. (It’s humid where I live and too much oily moisturizer leaves me feeling kind of icky and greasy out in the summer heat.) I try to also shave my legs and pits daily. My husband seems to appreciate this kind of care for myself.

      Reply
      • Sandy

        Oooh dry-brushing! I had this recommended to me a few months back and have tried to make it a habit. It’s best to use a natural bristle back brush or loofah before showering, and then follow with a moisturizer. I had an aesthetician tell me about this and how it will make your skin feel like ‘butter’. My husband even notices the difference when I do this!

        Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Oh, I love that! I have a sugar scrub I use on my elbows. I wonder if I could use it there, too? 🙂

      Reply
  10. Ashley

    So I am a pear-shaped girl. I can’t seem to wear the kinds that were suggested, although I could when I was thinner. Boy-shorts are a definite no, because the leg holes are too small. And hipsters are just weird for me right now. I think it’s a booty shape thing. Also I have more tummy than when I was thinner. High-cut briefs give me the leg room I need, so that’s what I usually wear.

    Reply
  11. Sarah O

    Inverted triangle. I simply cannot find underwear in any of these guys that fits my waist (no muffin top) that also fits my derrière (no loose fabric). I am large cheated but there is literally no butt. Like…none.

    Anybody have a solution??? Both me and hubs hate thongs…

    Reply
    • Sarah o

      *any of these cuts

      *large chested

      Typing too fast…

      Reply
    • Laura

      Kohl’s carries Warner’s Brand hipsters. I’m inverted triangle body type… I get it! They seem to have a good bit of elastic in the waist, which helps to keep them up. May want to size down one size.

      Reply
  12. LM

    Thank you for this post (and the one on lingerie) encouraging us to just be ourselves and get what makes us feel good… not what everyone says we should do! I’ve always felt like cheeky panties were the only sexy ones, but I absolutely hate that feel of hanging out! Also ditto to what other commenters have said about really feminine/lacey/sexy numbers feeling cheap or not like who we are. With PJs and undies, I like to get things that are super comfy, but flirty and fun at the same time. I’ve recently worked on building up my stock of real PJs after having worn stained everyday shirts and baggy jogging pants to bed for years!

    Reply
  13. Becky

    I wasn’t planning to comment on this one, since my clothes sewing hobby means I’m generally clueless about store brands, and my usual undies are just whatever cottony thing I can find in a multipack at Kohl’s that will actually cover my backside. But then I was scrolling Instagram and saw a pattern company that I follow just released an undies pattern called “Frisky Knickers”– which actually looked pretty comfy too– and now I feel like that title should be my underwear drawer goals because it makes me laugh. I need to restock before long anyway, since I have to go through at least 2 pairs a day at the moment and so every panty I’ve been able to wear during this pregnancy is basically totally unattractive garbage by now.

    Reply
  14. Jeannie Prinsen

    This was a fun post. I notice, though, that you didn’t mention hi-cuts: they have the bum/, tummy coverage of a brief but are cut higher on the leg, so they don’t feel so binding at the leg opening. I found a very comfortable, stretchy hi-cut by Hanes in nice colours; that’s all I wear for everyday.

    Reply
  15. Anonymous

    Becca, you ARE beautiful. All women are. Period. You need to find what makes *you* feel pretty. Lace does not make me feel pretty. Lace makes me feel itchy! Take baby steps. Always opt for beige cotton? Try pale pink or lavender, or a different cut. Don’t change it all in a day. Allow yourself to grow into it. Never wear jewelry? Find a small pair of earrings or a thin necklace and wear them daily. Jane’s right, once you start doing the things “pretty” women do, it will be easier to think of yourself that way. Your body isn’t “yuck,” it’s created in the image of God. Finding something that makes you feel pretty often makes it easier to start taking care of the rest of the package.

    Reply
  16. J. Parker

    Love this! And I was completely with you…until you mentioned Marie Kondo. Lol. Not my personality type! In fact, a couple of years ago, I finally looked at my underwear drawer and thought, “Why am I folding my underwear? When did I start doing that?” And I just stopped. I now toss them all in a drawer, dig through, and enjoy the experience of what I find! I bet that would drive you crazy, Sheila. But it works for me. AND I’m happy to say that the undies I most often wear turn out to be just what you’d recommend for my body type! 😀

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yay for you knowing what panties to choose for your body type! (I found out in doing this exercise that I was totally choosing the wrong ones. I’m now actually looking forward to giving myself permission to get a few nice pairs in a different cut!). And I do love me some Marie Kondo.:)

      Reply
  17. Erika

    Great post!

    I hope someone can advise me. I struggle with a strong vaginal smell if I wear any panty but cotton (even if it has a cotton panel). Does anyone else have the same issue? (I don’t get infections easily at all)

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      I do have a post on vaginal smells here, and I hope that helps!

      Reply
      • Erika

        Thanks! It did!

        Reply
  18. Sewing Mama

    I have been sewing my own panties for years. I love sewing anyway and had lots of scraps leftover from knit tops and dresses I was making, so I gave panties a whirl and I’m hooked. It took a few tries to get the correct fit, but there are no creeping involved and I can make lacy ones or plain ones or whatever suits my fancy or the occasion. And basically they are free because of the scraps I’m using I already own (obviously elastic costs, but ordering online it’s super affordable and there is such a great selection vs shopping at the big box fabric store).

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      That’s awesome!

      Reply
  19. Jess

    I read this post, threw out all of my ugly old underwear, ordered some cute but hopefully still comfortable ones from Amazon and they still go up my bum. I am convinced that there is no such thing as underwear that will not go up my bum and is sexy. I guess you could say I’m an hourglass body type but I don’t have a particularly large backside. It just seems like the only underwear I see that wouldn’t ride up is not what I would consider cute or sexy. Like the examples in the post of briefs and hipsters look very comfy, but would not make me feel like I wanted to show them off to my husband. Does anyone else have this problem? Does anyone have a specific suggestion for sexy underwear that will not ride up? I cannot stand having a wedgie all day!

    Reply

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