10 Things to Know About Postpartum Sex

by | Feb 17, 2020 | Uncategorized | 33 comments

Merchandise is Here!

Postpartum sex can be a potential minefield of fears, insecurities, and frustrations. But does it have to be?

Rebecca here on the blog today!

My baby boy came into this world with a bang–and by “with a bang” I mean I pushed him out in 5 contractions leaving me with a bad 3rd degree tear. I made the mistake of looking at the diagrams of the difference between the tears like 48 hours after delivery–I seriously regret that.

While I was at my check-ups with my midwives a few weeks later, I had a major panic attack while they examined my stitches. Like shaking, sobbing hysterically, almost fell off the examination table in sheer panic kind of attack. And so naturally that led them to having a long talk with me about postpartum recovery and especially postpartum sex since I was having so much anxiety about what was going on with my tear recovery.

I went into that appointment a complete mess. I left the appointment feeling heard, understood, and hopeful that maybe things would be able to get back to normal. So I wanted to share with you 10 key things that my midwives told me that helped curb the anxiety and send me on my way towards healing, thereby helping my marriage during the postpartum time!

1. Your body may recover at a different rate than other women’s

And yes, you do have a different vagina now. That’s OK, this is all normal. As my midwife said, “Childbirth just changes things.” And those changes mean recovery matters.

The 6 week mark is the bare minimum that doctors recommend to be put aside for recovery before having sex. The minimum. That means many women may (and do!) need more. And that is perfectly OK. 

And that woman you may be comparing yourself to may also be yourself–if you had a kid in the past and you were ready and rarin’ to go at the 6-week mark but this time you’re just not feeling ready physically, you are not a failure. If you have friends who didn’t seem to have any problems and you just aren’t able to have sex for months after the baby is born, just keep plugging away at your recovery and keep trying until it works. Let your body do what it needs to do–very, very, very few women have long-lasting problems with sexual pain following pregnancy. But many women take longer than 6 weeks to be able to have sex.

2. Postpartum sex doesn’t start with sex

You’re going to need to get to know your body again, re-teach it to get aroused, relax, and enjoy sex! So the whole conversation around postpartum sex isn’t just about “the deed”–you start with cuddling naked, kissing, massaging, touching, using your mouth, and only when you feel very, very ready you actually begin having intercourse.

This helps teach your body–which has just gone through a ton of trauma–how to respond to sexual stimulation again. And it also helps you know when you ARE ready for sex, because suddenly while you’re cuddling and kissing your body responds and you know you may be ready to try.


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3. You are not failing your husband if you need time to recover

Women who only need 6 weeks or less before they can have sex postpartum are not “better wives” than women who need longer.

Let me repeat that: you are not a “bad wife” for giving your body the time it needs to recover. 

Your responsibility during the postpartum period is to recover physically and figure out how to keep your little baby fed and happy. That’s it! You did not have control over how your body reacted to labour, and if your husband is making you feel guilty for having scar tissue or having pain so bad you cannot have sex for a long time postpartum that is completely on him. He vowed to love you in sickness and in health–this is part of the “in sickness.” So give yourself time to recover and do not feel guilty that your body–after ejecting a human–is taking a while to sort itself out.

4. Your husband does not “need” sex during this time

Men actually can go for extended periods of time without having sex. It’s perfectly normal. In fact, my midwives didn’t even mention the fact that he “needs” sex, or show him any sympathy for how difficult it might be that he’s not getting any for longer than expected. They saw how supportive and encouraging Connor was towards me and fully expected him to be able to be encouraging and supportive even if sex was off the table for a while.

My physiotherapist, too, had no qualms in telling me I was not cleared to have sex for lot longer than 6 weeks after taking a look at my tear. Medical professionals, who deal with these issues day in and day out, know that it is incredibly realistic to expect men to forego sex while their wives recover. That is the loving thing to do, to forego one’s wants to ensure the other gets what she needs. His sexual desires are not more important than your physical recovery needs.

Connor has been (unsurprisingly) amazing with this–again and again he has told me, “I’d rather we wait for longer and not bring sexual pain into our marriage than that we have sex sooner/more frequently.” To him, my pain trumps everything else. Why would he want to do something that he knows may cause me pain if he loves me? It was a no-brainer to him, just like it was to my midwives and my physiotherapist.

If your husband is not taking your pain seriously, or is primarily focused on getting sex even if it causes you pain or is not pleasurable due to other discomfort, please know that it is not normal and not necessary to be treated that way. He does not “need” sex–he will not die if he does not get sex. So this is his chance to be a sacrificially loving husband and put his needs aside and take care of you–the woman who just gave birth to his child.

Postpartum sex can be a potential minefield of fears, insecurities, and frustrations.

5. Seek professional and/or medical help when necessary

Pelvic floor physiotherapy is a gift from God, truly. If you have literally any issue with your pelvic floor, whether it’s scar tissue from a tear or simply incontinence after giving birth, see one. They can help so much with a variety of women’s health issues. It is worth the investment.

But the other thing is don’t be afraid to seek professional mental health help, too, in the postpartum period. Even if you don’t suffer with PPD (postpartum depression), you can benefit from some talk therapy as you settle into this new life. If you do suffer with PPD, please do talk to a medical professional and a counselor to get the therapy and possibly medication that you need. Don’t be afraid to look for help, it can make a big difference for you, for your marriage, for your family.

6. Sleep really does wonders for your sex life

I do have to say, a sleep principles course we did with Alex was a life-changer for us. Two of our TLHV readers actually sent me a link to Taking Cara Babies within a week of us announcing our pregnancy, and we are so grateful they did!

At 5 weeks we did her newborn course (it’s a no-cry sleep principles method appropriate for young babies). When we started, Connor and I had literally no time alone because the baby was always sleeping on my chest or had to be hand-rocked in the bassinet to stay asleep. By the end of the first week after her course Alex napped in his crib in his own room and went to bed on his own at approximately the same time every night, giving us 2 hours completely to ourselves every evening. It was a game-changer, and it became so much easier to have time just to cuddle and watch romantic movies together.

Many people don’t have the option of good sleep due to health issues with their children, but as someone who is currently writing this with a 4-month-old sleeping soundly in the next room, I highly recommend doing a sleep education program with your baby ASAP. I don’t really know when or how we would have any alone time if we hadn’t done this course and we definitely wouldn’t have such a good sleeper.

7. Pain during postpartum sex should diminish over time

If you are experiencing pain during sex, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing–you may just be stretching out scar tissue. But if the pain doesn’t get better during sex, or if each sexual encounter doesn’t result in less pain the next time, that is a problem and is not normal.

Some pain is normal, pain that persists is not and is something you should see a pelvic floor physiotherapist about.

8. Postpartum sex should still be pleasurable

Even if it is slightly painful at times due to stretching, postpartum sex should still feel good! Take things very, very slowly. Do not go straight to thrusting, but allow your muscles to relax first so that by the time sex gets going it is not actively painful.

If the pain is such that sex does not feel pleasurable at all, and you’re gritting your teeth to get through it, slow down, stop, and try again later or using a different method (maybe you need to go back to manual penetration for a while until that stretches you out enough, for example). You do not have to have sex that is painful or not pleasurable–sex is for both of you, even during postpartum periods.

9. Breastfeeding hormones can make postpartum sex more difficult

Breastfeeding moms, can I get an “amen?”

Even if you were a higher-drive wife before, recognize that breastfeeding is a natural libido suppressant. I think it may be nature’s way of spacing out kids. So take time to schedule out when you want to have sex so you can prepare yourself and get into the right head space–don’t just wait for your libido to kick in naturally. Because it simply may not for the time being.

Don’t feel bad if you need to use lubrication, or if you take a bit longer to get “in the mood”–this is natural, and it goes back to normal eventually (according to my midwives and my research, anyway!).

10. Sex is still important, especially in the postpartum period

There’s a lot of focus on the baby during the postpartum period, and rightly so. But sex is also really important. Yes, you’re a mom. But you’re also a woman. And sex is something that can help you feel like a grown-up, even if you’ve been dealing with spit up and poopy diapers all day.

Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse, either–but having time to be intimate together, whether that’s cuddling naked together or mutually bringing each other to orgasm through other means is a gift you can give your marriage even during the postpartum period before you’re ready to start having sex. Don’t stop kissing each other or hugging just because you have a baby now–your marriage is more important, not less, now that you have a little baby in your lives.

What are some things you wish you knew about postpartum sex? Any tips or tricks to make the transition easier? Let us know in the comments below!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Blog Contributor, Author, and Podcaster

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8. Check out Why I Didn't Rebel, or follow her on Instagram!

Related Posts

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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33 Comments

  1. Lindsey

    This is all really solid advice! I like that you did include the point that it may hurt a little bit initially, but that it should start to feel better once you get going. That was my experience.
    Breastfeeding is so good for babies, and so convenient, but it was a major contribution to my PPD. I didn’t want to take antidepressants, because I was scared of the side effects. So I found something that really helped me personally – Calm brand Magnesium supplements. I now take it religiously.

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      I’m so sorry you suffered with PPD–that can be truly horrible. I’ve heard a lot about magnesium supplements! I found that breastfeeding hormones were worst for the first 2 months and I’m already starting to feel like my “old self” at 4 months, but I’m going to keep that in mind for the next kid–who knows how I’ll react that time!

      Reply
    • Marie

      Magnesium glycinate is also super-powerful and helpful! It doesn’t loosen your system up like magnesium citrate does, as well. 😉

      Reply
      • Lisa M

        Yes, mag citrate is poorly absorbed and is actually a great osmotic laxative.
        Mag glycinate or Magtein (magnesium l-threonate) are much better absorbed.
        I also love transdermal magnesium. There are some great magnesium lotions. Adding epsom salts to your bath or foot soak are great.

        Reply
  2. Lydia purple

    Good for you for having such amazing support!
    I think this is actually how I found the blog the first time, when I was experiencing Vaginismus after my first birth. I had a second degree tear and was stitched up pretty tight (I learned that later from my midwife for my second birth that unfortunately some doctors do that so sex will be better for the husband but ignoring that this results in pain for the wife). If I recall correctly it took 8 months until I could have pain free sex. I didn’t think I had a traumatic birth, but later during births #2-4 Which were home births God brought healing in places I didn‘t even know were broken. Long story short, the trauma from the first birth resulted in me being unable to experience deep levels of intimacy and I can say motherhood has been a journey of faith, healing and sanctification and I can say that God is good and faithful always.
    Also after babies 2,3 and 4 my recovery was super fast, I actually felt very energized after birth, I had only a minor tear after the second birth and none after that and I was up and running quickly, taking it slow when I felt like i needed to, but mostly being energetic. I love the newborn days, I treasured every moment of this fleeting delicate time.
    Also breastfeeding didn’t have a negative effect on my sex drive. I actually loved not having a period for a year or longer postpartum. I literally had only like 5 periods in ten years from my first pregnancy until after it returned after my fourth. ☺️ I know this is different for everyone, but I just wanted to throw out there that breastfeeding does not need to be bad for your sex life. I actually had a harder time adjusting to the ups and downs of the cycle then my pretty consistent drive while nursing. That might be because I got used to it for a decade…

    Reply
    • Lindsey

      I also didn’t suffer low libido from breast feeding, my only issue with breast feeding was my PPD.
      Many of my friends who breastfed got their periods back around 3 months in – but I didn’t cycle anywhere from 15-22 months after birth because of breastfeeding (accept between my first two, who I prayed would be 18 months apart. I got pregnant at nine months…but no period before hand).

      Reply
  3. Bertha

    I understand that your experience was with vaginal birth, but many women give birth by c-section. C-sections are somewhat different in recovery, but much of this advice also applies. No, you didn’t push a baby through there, but it still may be tender and swollen and need healing before resuming sex. The incision area in the abdomen is very tender, and can often take at least 6-8 weeks (some have permanent nerve damage in the abdominal area). My experience was that it took 8-12 weeks to resume full intercourse after my c-sections. Breastfeeding had a definite effect on that timeframe as well, contributing to vaginal dryness.

    Reply
    • Cynthia

      My first 2c-sections took around 6 weeks, my third took longer since the incision did not heal well.
      Breastfeeding was a big issue although it took me years to realize that I had vaginal atrophy as a result. Tanked my libido, caused dryness and I couldn’t stand to be touched anywhere near the chest. With my first, breastfeeding in the first few days was far more painful than the c-section. I still breastfed for a total of over 4.25 years between 3 kids, so it was worthwhile in other ways, but this was admittedly a drawback.

      Reply
  4. Separated

    Thank you so much for this post. I’m past baby times but this was so validating to the abuse I suffered while having babies with a self centered man who told me how hard my surgical birth recoveries were on him because he had to do more around the house and couldn’t have sex. Even though I had C-sections, he watched the calendar for week six and expected me to perform sexually by week 7. What I thought was something that was wrong with me, I now see was abuse and coercion from him. I read that you said 6 weeks was the minimum and immediately cried. Thank you for getting the truth out there.

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      I am so sorry you went through that awful experience. It is so important women are told what is normal so that we can recognize when we are being treated unfairly.

      Reply
    • Michelle

      I too am crying reading this! For those who have experienced coercion and abuse, this is both hard and validating to hear.

      Reply
  5. Ina

    How long is reasonable to take sex off the table? I honestly have very easy births with no tearing and straightforward recovery. Pelvic floor is well in the way from working with physio, but I cannot get aroused. The amount of time it would take is about the time between feeds for the baby and with two other needy children it is almost impossible for sex to be anything but one-sided but I also would feel bad telling my husband that for the next six months I’m unavailable because mutuality isn’t possible.

    Reply
    • Rebecca Lindenbach

      I think that’s an individual decision for the couple, Ina, but I would say that if arousal is the issue, is there a way to make sex more about connection/feeling loved and cherished than sexual arousal for the time being? I don’t like getting personal on here about my experiences since I use my full name and I work with family (seriously this is an incredibly awkward job at times) but during the postpartum period sex isn’t always about the same thing as it is when everything is working like normal–sometimes sex is about allowing your husband to make you feel loved, cherished, and womanly even when there is spit up and diapers and 10 loads of laundry a day.
      On a practical note, getting kids’ bedtimes settled so that everyone is in bed by 8:30 is a game-changer since it gives you a long stretch of time alone together (Even if you do a dreamfeed with baby 3 hours later, you’ve got 2-3 hours!). Then “sex” can mean a massage while you watch a show, then cuddling and talking about your day, and then once you’re already feeling connected and the oxytocin is flowing you try sex. It can make things easier, and it can change sex from feeling like you’re focused on orgasm right now to being focused on closeness and intimacy.
      I generally believe that overall in a marriage, orgasm is important for both partners. But if there is a season where it is not the focus, I think that is OK and mutuality can still be on the table because you can both get something out of it if we don’t define sex as just P-in-V intercourse but as the whole experience. Does that make sense?

      Reply
  6. Jane Eyre

    There are many pragmatic reasons to wait for marriage to have sex. One of them is the postpartum period (or other physical illnesses). If a man can manage to not have intercourse for many years of his adult life, he can be a grown-(donkey) adult and not have sex for six weeks or a few months while his wife recovers from the physical challenges of bringing his child into the world.
    The idea that men “need” sex is antithetical to the idea of chastity. We expect that unmarried adults can control their sex drives and live perfectly functional and happy lives without intercourse. We expect that there are times in one’s adult life in which intercourse is not appropriate, whether it be the single life or when one’s spouse is not able to do so. That expectation doesn’t fly out the window when a wife’s vagina is full of stitches and scar tissue.
    Semi-related, but women can ovulate before their first post-baby menstrual period; changes to the woman’s body also make it challenging at best to monitor signs of returning fertility. Postpartum contraception is a difficult issue.
    My only other comment is that, for those of us who really disliked sex before and during pregnancy, there is a reluctance to resume sex postpartum that has nothing to do with hormones. He orgasms, I get labour pains – not exactly intimate and bonding, ya know?

    Reply
    • MidwestWife

      Great suggestions. I’m glad you addressed both the physical and mental aspects of the postpartum period. I expected the worst physically (which surprisingly was not at all issue for me) but was completely blinded by the mental obstacles involved with the postpartum period. Hopefully how I felt is not the norm but the anxiety, lack of sex drive and overall emotional instability really took me (a very logical, otherwise atypical person) for a ride. The week I stopped breastfeeding (19 months old) my old self slowly started creeping back in. So while I think postpartum is a beast itself, for me I think it was more the extended breastfeeding (which breaks my heart).

      Reply
      • MidwestWife

        Oops meant for it to be it’s own comment. My apologies.

        Reply
    • Helen

      Jane, Before I read this article, I read the post about Your Body Keeps the Score. Perhaps you might find information that may help you understand your unhappy situation. It was helpful to me. God’s peace.

      Reply
  7. Kya

    Spot on, thank you! One of the books I read postpartum that I have recommended to every pregnant woman since is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the La Leche League. The breastfeeding info is solid gold, of course, but there is so much more in there, including common questions that LLL gets from moms at each stage of their breastfeeding journey. One topic they cover is when to have sex again, and they include testimony from woman who are all over the board: from feeling ready days after birth to still not feeling ready months later to she feels ready again but her husband doesn’t yet! It was so nice as a new mom to read those and see that my own journey back to sex was nothing out of the ordinary. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  8. Natalie

    Great suggestions, Rebecca! Allowing yourself enough time beyond the 6 weeks is SO important! After my c-section with my first (with which I didn’t even experience labor… it was an emergency c-section at 37 weeks due to placental abruption caused by an ECV procedure), I wasn’t mentally ready for sex again till like 4-5 months postpartum! (of course, my husband and I also had a really awful sex life leading up to that point too). After my second (VBAC), we had sex at 9 weeks postpartum but I was mentally ready at 1 weeks haha. So taking all health factors into account is so important on deciding when to start again. And like you said, just because PIV may be off the table doesn’t mean that other forms of sex are as well. AND, just because things may not be as sexually intimate as one or both spouses would like doesn’t mean that emotional intimacy shouldn’t also be a focus during this huge life event. Looking back, reconnecting more emotionally is where my husband and I could’ve both improved upon.
    Concerning breastfeeding and libido, I think it’s also important to mention that your libido can change during the breastfeeding experience too! I’m currently 8 (almost 9) months postpartum and still EBF. It may seem counterintuitive, but my libido was RAGING the first 4-6 months postpartum. Now that we’ve been introducing some solids (mostly just a taste here and there… never an actual meal), I find my sex drive is just sort of meh. But that could also be due to other relational factors. Since my husband isn’t big on initiating sex, we find that actually making it happen is taking a lot more intentionality and self-motivation, and that often if I don’t initiate it won’t happen. Basically, all that to say, just because you’re breastfeeding doesn’t mean your libido will be automatically suppressed, and it also doesn’t mean that your libido will stay low during the whole duration of your breastfeeding experience. While a lot of it is hormonal/biochemical, I find (at least for me) an equal part of whether or not I want to have sex is mental and based on how things are relationally between my husband and I (i.e. do I feel loved and desired by my husband, or do I feel unseen and taken for granted?). And that’s something that’ll affect a marriage sexually whether or not your pregnant, breastfeeding, or anywhere on the spectrum of life experiences.

    Reply
  9. Pip

    Thanks for this article! I’m 3 months postpartum, so still figuring all this out. I still have some degree of pain, particularly in certain positions, but one thing I’ve found is that some of the pain comes from me holding my body super tense out of fear of pain, which obviously doesn’t help.
    Another thing is that I didn’t feel self conscious about my body pre pregnancy, but I definitely do now, with my stretch marks and saggy belly. It’s hard to believe my husband when he says I’m still sexy, because it’s not what I see in the mirror, and that definitely plays on my mentally.

    Reply
    • mtKatie

      I absolutely know what you mean! Confidence affects my libido so much as well. After two kids I very much still (6 years later) hate my stretch marks. Some days it doesn’t bother me at all and other days I feel like all I want to do is hide myself under my “frumpy” jammies so he can’t see my tummy. He always tells me I’m being silly and that he thinks I’m sexy but there’s a little voice in my head that says he’s wrong. It helps when he reminds me that those are his marks, from his children.
      It also helps when he comes up behind me in the mirror and wraps his arms around my belly to kiss my neck (then I can’t see them anymore —all I can see is that he still loves me and my body 😉

      Reply
  10. Wifey

    I had a 119 hour labor and a 3rd degree tear and I was amazed that I was ready to enjoy my husband at 7 weeks PP! I was a bit worried about the deed, but my husband was so sweet and put no pressure on me at all. It was totally my decision. Other than a vague tight feeling that was extremely mild, everything was fine! Super amazed at how God heals bodies.

    Reply
    • Bethany

      Typo? Or was it really 119???? That’s definitely the longest labor I’ve heard of!

      Reply
      • Wifey

        No typo unfortunately. They would have made me do a C section unnecessarily had I labored in a hospital, but I was with a midwife for all but the last 3 hours. Hoping for shorter this pregnancy, but this baby almost certainly can beat that number! 🤪

        Reply
  11. Tory

    I had my first in the hospital, and my second two at home with a midwife. Second degree tear with #1– at the hospital they make you lay on your back and “purple push” which is so not good for women. My midwife with the next two has a technique preventing tears, she claims she rarely has to stitch women, even first time moms having nine pound babies. She has moms give birth in water, which is documented in preventing tearing, and also actively coaches moms to push very very slowly, so the baby doesn’t come out too fast and tear the mother. That being said, I think six weeks is not nearly enough! I was rarin’ to go before then, and my husband and I played and were intimate in other ways shortly after the births. But actual penetration was soooo painful for quite a while. And don’t forget body image! Nothing fits, swollen leaky breasts, soft tummy, extra weight. I definitely recommend not waiting too long after childbirth to resume intimacy, you can still give each other orgasms without penetration 😉 and it felt great to step out of “mommy mode” and feel sensual. But I think for most women, six weeks is not enough time to heal enough to enjoy penetration.

    Reply
    • Lydia purple

      This sounds so similar to my experience. It’s so unfortunate that many of the hospital birth procedures are either against the natural process of birth or not in support of the ideal. Most procedures are created for the comfort of the hospital staff (like the height and design of the bed, often the bed pointing towards the door so staff can just peek in to see in a glance what’s up, bright lights, being hooked up to the monitor non stop, and encouraged to stay put instead of move, to frequent checks of dilation….)
      Some places make an effort to make it better but in large it’s not the case.
      I am certainly grateful for modern medicine when it comes to preemies, emergency c-sections etc, but making birth a generally fear based operation with to much intervention even if unnecessary has also caused issues that wouldn’t be there if left to the natural process.

      Reply
  12. Marie

    Hand jobs were really helpful thought my last pregnancy and postpartum recovery. I had a low-lying placenta which made penetration painful. About halfway though, my midwife recommended no more penetration to ensure no early labor or bleeding. It was hard, to say the least, and it took longer than 6 weeks for me to recover. Loving on my husband helped us stay connected through the whole experience.

    Reply
  13. Jessica

    Rebecca,
    THANK YOU for this.
    I had a 4th degree tear with our daughter and several infections in the weeks postpartum, so I hear you on the panic attacks and anxiety. At my last “all clear” visit the doctor actually pushed on my healing incision (hard) and said, “Feel that? That’s your scar tissue forming. That amount of pain is normal.”
    I was practically in tears. I remember looking at my husband and thinking, “Yeah… no.” lol
    We were able to get back into the swing of things fairly quickly for having such a severe tear, but I will say it is not the same. From relearning my body to dealing with libido-suppressing hormones, to always thinking about the baby in the back of my mind. Sex has changed for sure.
    Ever since she was born, we’ve made a point to go on dates. We typically go out to dinner or to a concert or something. So this month, when it was my date to plan, I just booked us a hotel room. I had my mom come watch our daughter and my husband and I got away to a hotel room where I didn’t have to worry about the baby waking up or about the dishes or about anything and we could truly relax and enjoy each other. It was a bit like a second honeymoond. I packed a picnic lunch and we ate in our room, and even took a nap. Highly recommended date idea for new parents.
    (Also, I would correct the typos in this, but the cursor won’t let me click back! Sigh…)

    Reply
  14. Melanie

    I had to be knocked out to be stitched up. At 6 weeks my husband went out of town for 2 weeks, and then his parents got in within an hour of him flying in, so it was closer to 9 or 10 weeks, I think. But they really did a good job on my repair, so it wasn’t bad. Pelvic floor therapy is so important! I didn’t get it until after my second, but it really helped.

    Reply
  15. Cara

    I joked that no one had better tell my husband that it was 6 weeks.
    I had some physical issues after #1 and #4 but it was more that I needed to feel I had a choice about SOMETHING. I breastfed on demand and all sorts of things were no longer in my control. Once I knew that sex was then I was much more ok with it.
    Thankfully, I have a really great husband.

    Reply
  16. Lisa

    I highly recommend every pregnant woman go to La Leche League meetings BEFORE their baby is born. Talk to other moms who are breastfeeding and get your support in place. Really understand what a good latch is and the signs of a poor latch.
    I’ll also put in a plug for Pregnancy & Post- Partum Corrective Exercise Specialists! (PCES).
    https://www.coreexercisesolutions.com/pces-graduate-map/

    Reply

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