Why It’s 31 Days TO Great Sex

by | Jul 14, 2020 | Sex | 5 comments

31 Days to Great Sex: Fun Challenges for Your Sex Life

Today, the updated 31 Days to Great Sex launches again!

For years, I published it myself, and it sold wonderfully. But I decided that I wanted it to go bigger than just my blog, so I sold it to Zondervan, and then updated it, changed some of the challenges based on the feedback I’ve  had over the years, and added a ton of supplementary ideas and tips!

And I REALLY love it.

And, after being unavailable for six months, you can get it again–along with all the new bells and whistles!

Wonderful book! Helped me get more focused and back on track with my husband after 4 kids in 4 years….I was tired and needed some help! 🙂

Leigh B.

Amazon customer

One of the things I always say when I’m introducing the book is that it’s 31 Days TO Great Sex, not 31 Days OF Great Sex.

And today, as it relaunches, I thought it would be a great time to explain the difference!

Have you ever heard of those week-long sex challenges, or the month-long sex challenges? You know the ones I’m talking about…where you’re supposed to have sex for 7 days straight, or 31 days straight, or however many days someone decides is a good idea.

But when you do that, you’re making an assumption: the problem with our sex life is frequency, and the problem with our marriage is not enough sex. If we increase the frequency, then everything will get better. 

What if frequency is not the problem? Or, if it’s one of the problems (and it often is), what if there are plenty of other problems, too?

When I originally wrote 31 Days to Great Sex back in 2012, I did so for the launch of my new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex. in that book, I was explaining how God made sex to be physically awesome, yes, but also to be emotionally and spiritually intimate as well. We’re supposed to have fireworks, sure, but we’re also supposed to be feel close and laugh together. We’re also supposed to feel completely and totally one.

Great sex is not only about frequency. Great sex is about your sex life reflecting a fun, intimate relationship, and then in turn feeding that fun, intimate relationship.

Simply having sex doesn’t guarantee you much of anything, especially if sex is ho hum.


Or even tense.

But BUILDING great sex on a foundation of feeling close, trust, and fun means that you can talk about the hard stuff. You can feel vulnerable enough with each other that you can let your guard down and try new things. You can get rid fo the roadblocks that make you so nervous or tense or even just ticked off.

And you can thrive again!

Because great sex is great because it’s built on a solid relationship–and then it fuels that solid relationship, too. It isn’t something you can just manufacture by doing it more. We’ve got to figure out the different pieces!

I wish I had read this book 30 years ago!

Lisa H.

Amazon Reviewer

That’s what I’ve designed 31 Days to Great Sex to do for you–build, little by little, so that you can experience major breakthroughs!

We start with a week of quick “wins”.

Yes, you’ll get some of those awkward conversations out of the way so that you can really talk about this stuff. But then in the first week you’ll also deal with body image issues and boost each other’s confidence, AND help both of you realize what turns her on especially.

Seriously, you may come back to Day 6 again and again!

Then we build some fun and laughter in!

How many of us stop kissing in our marriages because we don’t want to promise something we may not want to deliver later? Or we just plain stop having fun?

But laughter is often the gateway into libido! And it makes it so much easier to talk about what you want, what feels good, and even what DOESN’T feel good when the tension level is lower.

So in this week we’ll flirt, kiss, be more affectionate, and even learn how to look forward to sex at the end of the day!

Now we light fireworks!

Once you’ve started laughing and you feel closer, it’s time to unlock arousal and pleasure. This week is all about orgasm, foreplay, and just plain feeling great!

He’ll learn why foreplay isn’t optional, but you’ll also discover the secret to making it fun for both of you. And if you’ve ever felt broken because you don’t enjoy sex the way he does, you’ll learn that women weren’t designed in the same way–and you’ll learn to stop judging yourself, and start enjoying.

What about spicing things up?

The next week is all about feeling intimate and building trust, which involves two things: Learning to be totally connected while making love, but also learning to have real passion and let go by spicing things up! We’ll look at how to decide sexual boundaries, and how to make sure you care for each other, even while exploring.

Keep the momentum going

You’ve had breakthroughs this month, but you don’t want them to end. So the last week is super, super practical, looking at what changes you can put in place so that your sex life continues to be fun, frequent, and fueling your relationship.

That’s how the book works–small challenges that build.

You just read 3-5 pages a night together, and then do what it says. And if it takes longer than 31 Days, that’s okay, too! Check it out. 

As a husband it really opened my eyes to what I thought was the right way to entice my wife when in fact was only enticing me. I learned to slow it down and show affection more appropriately. God has used this book to open my eyes and truly appreciate my wife.
R. Pearson

Amazon customer

I know you’re on this blog because you want an awesome marriage and sex life.

You don’t want to settle for mediocre.

And everyday I write about what often goes wrong in marriage, and how we can build our marriage up. I write about what goes into a great sex life.

But information can only take you so far. And that’s why I’ve tried to create a super practical guide that helps you put so much of what you read here into practice.

With 31 Days to Great Sex, you’ll:

  • Ignite your spouse’s libido–and your own
  • Discover which little changes bring big rewards
  • Hit the reset button on your sex life, even if porn has been a factor
  • Debunk Hollywood myths about sex
  • Identify YOUR key to sexual breakthroughs
  • Spice things up–and try new things

And the book is chock full  of different ideas to fuel your fun!

Just some of the fun things you’ll learn in 31 Days to Great Sex!

  •  The four basic positions–and how you can make endless variations!
  • 16 ways to flirt with your husband
  • 10 different sexy questions he can ask his wife–including the one thing he must remember so he doesn’t inadvertently turn her off!
  • The secret to great foreplay
  • The 15-minute challenge that changes everything

I’m really happy with the way 31 Days to Great Sex turned out, and I hope it will  help you!

By the end of the first week, you’ll know new ways to turn her on–and new ways to rev his engines! You’ll be able to talk about the rut, and dream together what passionate sex will look like. And by the end of 31 Days, you’ll feel invigorated. You’ll know that your marriage can be super fun! You’ll know that you’re not broken. And sex can stop being the thing that causes tension, and start being the thing that fuels the rest of your marriage!

So check it out today, and tell others about it! (And, hey, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex is on sale now, too! So now’s a great time to pick up BOTH of the cornerstone books for this blog!)

I really do hope you love it–and that it transforms your marriage.

Written by

Sheila Wray Gregoire


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Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

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  1. Lindsey S

    Can’t wait to get my copy, it’s a late 11th anniversary gift for my husband. Is there any way to track our paperback copy that we will receive for participating in the webinar?
    Incidentally, you ran out of time before reading my question – so I hope it’s ok if I ask it here:
    I know that you are discussed dissociation during sex, but could you comment about mutually enjoyable role playing/fantasy. My question isn’t about whether or not this is sinful – as I believe that the Bible gives us a ton of freedom in the bedroom based on our conscience – but are there potential disfunctions or issues that may be caused by engaging in this sort of fantasy/role play with your spouse?

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Sure, Lindsey! I’ll answer that in the follow up report I’ll send all attendees. The paperbacks should have been shipped out today by Amazon, and so they should arrive in the next few days!

      • Lindsey S

        I got mine today!!!! I’m so excited!

  2. Jami

    Married 11 years & sex has been a challenge. For one, he’s never lasted very long. 5 minutes is a nice surprise and anything longer is SUPER rare. On top of that, he is a one and done and manually doesn’t really work for me so there’s not really a chance for recovery after. I can usually climax if I’m on top, but for the last several months he tells me he can’t control himself at all that way. At one point, I didn’t even have to move and it was done. I finally worked up the nerve to ask him to go to the Dr and he seemed like he was on board but that was 2 months ago and he has yet to even call them. He always makes excuses like he’s busy, etc. We continue to have issues in that department. I feel like he doesn’t care about meeting me needs. Im very interested in getting this book but I fear that it would hurt his feelings and he wouldn’t participate but instead, push away.

    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Jami, I’m so sorry, and that’s really not okay. If he’s suffering from premature ejaculation, he should get seen by a doctor. There also are some techniques that you can try to help him last longer. But even if he can’t, he can still bring you to orgasm. It’s okay to say, “I’m no longer willing to have sex where I am left hanging. I want to have sex with you, but it has to be a mutual experience for both of us.”


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