How to Make Period Sex Less Messy–and More Enticing

by | Aug 25, 2020 | Uncategorized | 15 comments

How to Make Period Sex Less Messy with FlexDiscs
Merchandise is Here!

Are you somebody who would actually love to have period sex?

I’ve been writing about periods all month, and last week we looked at period sex, mostly from the perspective that a woman should not feel obligated to give sexual favors then if she doesn’t want to. 

But what if her sex drive is higher during her period? A number of women wrote that this is when they want sex the most! One woman said:

 

This has been a source of contention between us for many years. He is completely grossed out by it and my libido is highest during that time. It makes me feel very unwanted and undesired. It has caused so many arguments we don’t even discuss it anymore. I never even mention my period at all to him because once I do, I am treated like I have some sort of disease.

Other women said that they really enjoy period sex, and their husbands don’t mind!

So let’s look at period sex from different perspectives today, and then I’ll suggest several ways to make period sex less messy. (and some affiliate links are below!)

Again, this post is NOT to insinuate that women should have period sex. I completely believe that this is up to you, and that many women feel so uncomfortable during their periods that sex seems extremely off-putting. That’s okay. But if you’re someone whose sex drive goes up during your period, here are some things to think about:

When your husband is grossed out by the idea of period sex

Like our commenter, many men can’t even fathom period sex, even if her drive is highest then. I think there are two perhaps conflicting things to keep in mind here:

Husbands’ preferences should be honoured

As I’ve said before, godly sex is mutual sex, and this should go both ways. Neither spouse should feel obligated to do anything–sex should be based on mutual giving, not taking. If the rest of your sex life is mutual and fun and frequent, and he just wants to abstain during this time, I think that should be honoured and he shouldn’t be pressured, any more than she should be pressured to do something that she finds off-putting or uncomfortable.

In that case, it just needs to be managed like any libido difference, as you stay active, stay generous, keep close to one another, and deal with your frustration.

Messy sex is a reality for women the vast majority of the time

However, I think what many men may not understand is that, unless a man is using a condom, messy sex is a reality for women. Women have his fluid inside us, and we do need to wash afterwards and wipe up mess and go to the bathroom to prevent UTIs. Some men may have an aversion to blood, and I do think that should be honoured. But I would also like to encourage men to realize that sex is ALWAYS messy for women (unless you use a condom), and that we have to deal with this. If your concern is simply that you don’t want things to be messy, then remember that you are asking her to endure this literally every other time you have sex. So a little give and take here may be in order.

Nevertheless, I do think there is a big difference between women having semen dripping out of them and men having blood on their penis. I can understand why that may be very disturbing for some men!

(I told you they were contradictory! But those are two things to think about when it comes to period sex and talk about and balance together as a couple).

How to make period sex less messy if you are both fine with it!

Showers and towels are your friend

Showers are a no-mess solution, although intercourse is not always very comfortable in showers. But other kinds of stimulation may be! And if you’re trying intercourse in bed, just use a towel, even if it’s near the end and she’s only spotting. After orgasm, women’s flow can become heavier, so what was only a light flow may get heavier. (If you think your period is about to begin, sometimes orgasm brings the first “gush” of blood, too.)

Try Flex discs DURING your period

Flex has a period product that also makes sex safe, easy and clean during those days! Like the menstrual cups we talked about last week, Flexdiscs are inserted inside the vagina, and are held in place at the base of the cervix. Unlike the diva cups, these are disposable. But they last 12 hours as well, without leaking.

And the great thing is that they can be worn during sex!

Because they sit so high up, they don’t get in the way. Here’s a video explaining how to use it:

 

It’s a little tricky to insert properly (you have to make sure it’s high enough so it doesn’t leak), but a number of women have said in the comments here and on Facebook that they find it works great!

So if you want mess-free sex during your period, these may be the answer you were looking for.

Have you ever tried the FlexDisc or the SoftDisc? Are you someone who gets more in the mood during her period? If so, what solutions have you found?

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

Related Posts

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

Related Posts

Is Someone Stepping on Your Air Hose?

So many women--and many men as well--honestly feel like the church is hurting them. I do not believe that it is Jesus that is hurting them, but the things that the church teaches, especially around sex and marriage, do cause harm. Our surveys have shown that...

Can Sex Be Hot and Holy at the Same Time?

Can sex be hot and holy at the same time? One of my big picture passions that I want people to understand is that sex is more than just physical--it's supposed to be deeply intimate too. And maybe to understand that, we need to take a step back to see what God thinks...

Comments

We welcome your comments and want this to be a place for healthy discussion. Comments that are rude, profane, or abusive will not be allowed. Comments that are unrelated to the current post may be deleted. Comments above 300 words in length are let through at the moderator’s discretion and may be shortened to the first 300 words or deleted. By commenting you are agreeing to the terms outlined in our comment and privacy policy, which you can read in full here!

15 Comments

  1. Economical Gal

    At $79 ON SALE for 12 these seem a bit pricey! Unless you use ONE DISC for your entire period? And this would be enough to last for a year? Or would this only be a two month supply if you were changing it every 12 hours?

    Reply
  2. edl

    I have wondered … does having sex during a women’s period increase the chance of her developing endometrosis?
    I copied this information from HealthyWomen.org website>> The most widely accepted cause of endometriosis is retrograde menstruation. This occurs when tissue from the uterine lining, called endometrial tissue, flows backward through your fallopian tubes while you’re menstruating and implants in various sites, most commonly in the pelvis.<<
    Just wondering…

    Reply
    • Tory

      I heard the opposite— that orgasm during menstruation can help prevent endometriosis because the contractions help expel the blood from the body

      Reply
  3. Ashley

    Thanks for covering this. I’m divorced now, but when I was married I was always in the mood on my period, and he thought it was so gross and just wouldn’t after the first time, and he discovered how much blood there was. It was such a bummer for me. If I had known about sex-friendly period products back then, you better believe I would have been trying them!
    I always thought, “Dude, your junk can wash off, trust me!” 😂

    Reply
  4. Tory

    I was one of the wives who commented that I often wanted sex during my period, but that it was a no-go zone for my husband. (Blood on the penis!! Scary!) After many years of arguments and my hurt feelings, here are some work-arounds we have found: (hopefully this isn’t too graphic to post) a) the wife takes a shower and puts in a tampon, maybe panties also. Then the couple has non penetrative sex, the husband can bring his wife to orgasm with his hand or a toy, the wife also can give him oral, or offer sex between her breasts (use lots of lube!) B) another trick is, if your flow isn’t too heavy, take a shower and put in a tampon for about 30 minutes, then take it out and have sex. The tampon will wick away most if not all blood, and reduce any mess. This method usually buys me about 30 minutes where I don’t have to worry 🙂 I personally have never used any sort of menstruation cups and frankly they scare me a little. (Don’t you make a huge mess taking them out???) but I’m glad they work for some women.

    Reply
    • Kya

      I’ve never used a disc (and no matter what the video says, I feel like removal would be messy), but cups have less mess than a tampon, in my experience. When you remove them, you’re just holding a little cup of blood that you pour into the toilet, rinse, and reinsert. The toilet looks pretty terrifying ’til you flush, but I rarely get blood on my fingers or anywhere else, whereas with a tampon I was always pulling on a bloody string.

      Reply
  5. Wifey

    I’ll use the body temperature change method- if I can cool off my body enough I can do ‘things’ with my husband albeit a bit quickly.. It only works on lighter days but it’s also how I swim on those days! Works great for me! Sweet husband is totally unfazed by my periods but 100% lets me decide if and when I feel up to activities. Post babies it takes me longer since the flow seems to be stronger, but by day 4-5 I’m ready to go!

    Reply
  6. Leigh

    I highly recommend the Flex Discs! I find they make my whole cycle more comfortable. (No drippy feelings! Tampons irritated me.) I do wear a liner or light pad in case of drips; but I’m still sold! I just hop in the shower to change them out.
    A few years ago I noticed my hormones shift. My libido is much higher; including during my cycle. My husband said he can feel it sometimes; so trying a different position can help if it bothers you. I never notice it myself. Its a game changer for us!

    Reply
  7. libl

    I’ve used flex disc for period sex, but ended up with one wedged farther than my finger could reach to get it out!! It took a lot of bearing down to finally reach it. Now, we just wait for lighter days.

    Reply
    • Tory

      @libl, that’s why they freak me out!!! What if it moves and gets stuck and I can’t reach it and have to go fishing, all while menstruating… it sounds so intimidating! But check out my tips above for non-penetrative sex work arounds — these can be very fun! 😉

      Reply
  8. Lisa

    Team Flex! It’s a game changer. 12 HOURS of basically forgetting your period because you can do all the physical activities you would do otherwise – from swimming to sex.
    I barely feel it in there, hubby cannot feel it at all. Use lube because it interferes with lubrication – a small price to pay for sex when my libido is soaring. Flex totally saved a romantic weekend getaway when Aunt Flo showed up well before scheduled.

    Reply
  9. Jenny S.

    I feel like it should be said because Im sure I am not alone. Sex is messy all the time! Whether he uses a condom or not. I get really wet and make more mess than my hubby. Just don’t want someone to read this and feel they are odd ones out if they fall in that catagory with me. Waterproof materess protectors have saved my sanity in the bedroom. Not always looking for a towel just to get busy.
    Oh and Hot Holy and Humorous did a post a couple years back on sex with the flex cup (might have been a different brand but same product)
    Thanks Shelia for another good article.

    Reply
    • AJ

      I agree with the reality that sex is messy all the time. It’s especially messy for me when my wife is on top. She often emits quite a bit of fluid during orgasm. Not exactly sure what the fluid is but it gets all over me during sex. Also, when she’s on top she usually has at least a couple of orgasms after I ejaculate but before my erection is completely gone which means her vaginal contractions squeeze my semen out of her and onto me. For us, sex is always messy. Rather than towels, we have what I believe are “bed wetting” pads we ordered online. They are about the size of small bath towels and have a very absorbent quilted top lower with a water proof membrane bottom lower. They were inexpensive at about $20 for a pack of four and they will absorb a lot of liquid. Also, they’re white which makes them easy to just throw in the washer with lots of bleach. As far as period sex goes, it’s happened for us only a couple of times in twenty years. I’m completely okay with it but my wife thinks it’s gross. What can I say, as the higher drive spouse, I’m never opposed to sex! Some blood doesn’t bother me.

      Reply
  10. Daniel

    Coming from a man; Sure, period sex is messy, but if you plan to have something to keep the blood off of the sheets, it’s still a great deal of fun! Even oral is doable, you just don’t venture too far south. We have period sex every month. No big deal to me… Unless it’s very heavy, in which case I’ll skip the oral… Husbands, it’s not as bad as it sounds. Wives, if he is willing, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

    Reply
  11. Sarah Grace

    I want to mention a variation of the man being squeamish about period sex: sometimes it’s just the blood. Any blood. From any source, for any reason.
    Had this discussion with the BF (we’re waiting for marriage, but still needed to have an idea of our compatibility). He refused the idea of period sex. If the issue was the mess or “ew blood” I’d say “then don’t look and I’ll clean you up after.” (I actually did say this. Nope he still won’t come around). But it’s not the mess or the reason for the blood. Any substantial amount of blood from any source really freaks him out, including nicks when shaving. So I’ll give him a pass on that.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *