What dating rules work best for teen girls?
We’re so excited that our brand new book She Deserves Better: Raising Girls to Resist Toxic Teachings on Sex, Self and Speaking Up launches next month!
Until that launch, we want to take the podcasts to walk you through some of the key things that we found in our survey of 7000 primarily evangelical women, looking at how their experiences as teens in church affected their well-being and relationships today.
It’s going to be a wild ride–seriously, some of the findings are just fire!
And we thought today that we’d start in the middle of the book, looking at what we learned about teen dating.
Or, as always, you can watch on YouTube:
Timeline of the Podcast
0:10 She Deserves Better is coming!
7:10 The generational differences in dating
12:00 The origins of Purity Culture
18:00 Defining Purity Culture with ‘word clouds’
27:15 The outcomes of dating rules
32:10 Questionable dating advice
40:00 Creating dating rules that work?
(Transcript will be late this week because we had to refilm at the last minute. But it should be up in a day or two! Sorry for the delay).
So: What should we do about dating?
Rebecca and I had such fun doing this podcast, because we finally got to delve into all the data that we found for our new book! It’s so fun to be able to switch gears and let you all know about a whole other treasure trove of findings from an all new survey.
(It helps us immensely when you pre-order, because it signals to online retailers, “there’s a lot of demand for this book,” so they order lots in stock. Then they’re far less likely to run out when it DOES launch, so people still still get to buy it. Plus other bookstores order stock and libraries order books depending on what the #1 new releases are. And when you pre-order, you’re guaranteed the lowest price!)
We will also have a launch team which you will qualify for if you pre-order from anywhere. Just send us your receipt starting on March 13, and you’ll get early access to the book, lots of exclusive webinars, some pre-order bonuses, and more!
On today’s podcast, we walk through:
- A generational look at what rules the different generations had about dating, and who dated and didn’t date
- A look at some of the advice given to millennial teen girls especially about dating
- Why the advice of how to find a mate was often so off-base
- Why purity culture tended to define a teen girl’s faith almost entirely by her virginity.
Plus we look at different outcome variables for dating. Here’s what mean by that: Usually when we think about whether or not a dating rule “works”, we’ve only looked at whether or not she saved sex for marriage. But what if there are other factors to consider as well? Factors like:
- Self-esteem, both in high school and long-term
- Likelihood of marrying an abuser
- Likelihood of getting maried, if you wanted to be married
Tune in to the podcast to find out what gives us the best results when it comes to teens and dating! And then a conversation about what parents can do to influence their kids in the right direction (and what that right direction is!).
Things Mentioned in the Podcast
- Our new book She Deserves Better, which launches April 18! It helps us immensely when you pre-order!
- Sign up for my email list to be notified about how you can join the launch team!
- Our book The Great Sex Rescue
- The University of Georgia study on teens who don’t date
What do you think? How did dating (or not dating) affect you when you were a teen? Let us know in the comments below!
(Transcript will be up in a day or two. We had to refilm at the lat minute and didn’t have time to get it to our transcriber. Sorry for the inconvenience, but watch back here in a day or two and it will be up!)
All About She Deserves Better!
Podcasts about She Deserves Better:
- Do Girls Talk Too Much?
- Should We Kiss Dating Goodbye? What Dating Rules Work Best
- How Did Modesty Messages Affect Teen Girls Long Term?
- Why Are Women Supporting the Modesty Messages? Plus How Youth Groups Handle Date Rape
- Trauma, EMDR, and "Himpathy" (and why we sympathize with abusers)
- "Nice Guy Syndrome" and Boundaries
- What We're Fighting For: A Glimpse 20 Years Down the Road
- Pink and Blue Faith: Plus We Take a Submission Quiz!
Posts about She Deserves Better:
- 10 Defining Features of Purity Culture We Need to Eliminate
- How did we think calling 8-year-old girls' bellies "intoxicating" was okay?
- The data on why we need to stop calling girls "stumbling blocks"
- Feeling responsible for her own Sexual Assault: A Youth Group Case Study
- What do the toxic teachings have in common?
- Are we giving our daughters only half the gospel?
- 32 Things Your Daughter Deserves to Know
- 3 Things That Make it More Likely Your Daughter Will Marry an Abuser