The Doug Wilson blowup made me realize: We need to speak to our friends about fear. Did you see the CNN interview with Wilson and members of his church last week? Basically, in that interview they supported: Women existing primarily for reproduction (exactly against...
I startled awake this morning, mid-dream, at 4 a.m., like I do most August 6ths. Because 29 years ago my water broke at 4 a.m. My son would have turned 29 today. The body remembers. I never know what I'm going to write about on his birthday. I usually leave it...
Evangelical influencer culture appears to be very pro-spanking I want to share a story today that I think has deep implications for our work here at Bare Marriage. Earlier in July, Madison Prewett and her husband Grant Troutt shared on their podcast about their plans...
One of the hardest things to do is to break dysfunctional cycles. Whether it's in our families or in our churches, being a changemaker is hard. But it is so, so necessary. It's the most vital thing that we all need to do. You can be the top politician in the land; you...
Recently in our Patreon group, a member posted a letter that she’s sending out to the girls (now young women) in a youth group she used to lead, apologizing for teaching toxic things. I thought it was so wonderful I asked if I could run it here. I just want to say:...
Next Tuesday, Dr. Camden Morgante's new book Recovering from Purity Culture launches! I'm so excited about it, because not only does Dr. Camden walk us through the 5 purity culture myths that harmed so many long-term, but she also provides exercises and help so that...
Do you need to recover from purity culture? This is a first for me--but I wrote a foreword to a book! Dr. Camden Morgante's first book Recovering from Purity Culture launches next week, and I'm so excited about it. Dr. Camden is a clinical psychologist (in other...
A few weeks ago I got involved in a conversation on X (I still think of it as Twitter) about how to reach women in evangelical spaces who are miserable--but would never Google the problem. How do we let them know that there are other ways to see God? That their misery...
The myth that men matter more than women in churches hurts people. Yesterday on the podcast I was talking with Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz about the myth of the 93%, which goes something like this: The Myth of the 93% When dad comes to Christ first, 93%...
What happens when churches make up a ridiculous stat--and spread it? Ever heard the stat that when fathers come to Christ first, in 93% of families the wife and kids follow, but when wives come to Christ first, it's only 17%? It's been quoted by J.D. Greear when he...
What does it mean to keep Jesus at the center of faith? A couple of weeks ago I made an offhand comment in a podcast. I don’t even remember what podcast episode it was now, but in that episode, I said that Jesus is the Word of God; Jesus is the ultimate word, and we...
What if our deepest wounds drive us to fundamentalism? A few months ago a reader sent me a beautiful story of healing that exemplifies a common dynamic that I see: People who can’t face the wounds they have from childhood often gravitate to a very legalistic form of...
My son Christopher died 28 years ago today. That's such a strange phrase to say--"My son Christopher died." I remember practising saying it when he was in the ICU, preparing myself for what may come. The words didn't seem to go together, like they were fighting hard...
Women have pretty much always attended church more than men. Christianity started off as a religion of “women and slaves”, which was a common insult hurled at the fledgling new religion by the Romans. And it has continued to be a religion with more women than men....
Ever feel like faith and holiness are out of reach? You want to look like Jesus, but you know you need to pray more. Read your Bible more. Do more spiritual disciplines. Volunteer at church more. It's a long list of things you don't get to, and you know God must be...