Focus on the Family wants women to believe that if they pray, men jailed for domestic violence can change. Just before Christmas, on December 19, something super strange happened on the Focus on the Family Facebook Page. They shared this story:"My marriage was over....
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The Podcast Where a Church Puts a Marital Rape Victim Under Church Discipline
Today I want to tell you the story of a woman who was the victim of marital rape--and what her church did to her. She's an amazing woman. She reached out to me after our posts on marital rape back in November, in the middle of our series about getting out of sexual...
A News Story about John MacArthur Shows Why We Need Fixing
John MacArthur has sent abused women back to their husbands. It is horrific. Julie Roys broke a story last year about Eileen Gray. Twenty years ago she came to the church leadership at Grace Community Church for help for her abusive marriage. Her husband was abusing...
How Do You get Your Husband To Understand That He Coerced You Into Sex?
If your husband has been coercing you into sex, how do you get him to understand what he's done? That's the million dollar question, isn't it? We're in the middle of a series on what to do if one, or both, of you have dug your sex life into a pit. And fundamental to...
When You Realize You’ve Coerced Your Wife Into Sex: 5 Next Steps
What do you do if your wife tells you that she feels as if she has been raped? Or, if she doesn't use those exact words, if she tells you that she feels as if she's been coerced into sex? We've been talking this month about digging out of the pit that you may have...
Christians Need a Better Understanding of Consent
What does it mean to be "unwilling" to have sex? We're in the middle of a series on the blog about how to dig out of the pit your sex life is in, when one of you, or both of you, keeps digging that pit deeper. One of the big points I was making is that we cannot...
What To Do If You’re a Victim of Marital Rape
There is little more devastating to a marriage than rape. This month, on the blog, we're talking about how to recover from sexual problems in your marriage, and I want to spend this week talking about marital rape. On Monday, I talked about the dynamics in evangelical...
2 Kinds of Marital Rape that Evangelicalism (Inadvertently) Enables
Marital rape is the story in all too many Christian marriages. When we analyzed the top 13 evangelical books for our book The Great Sex Rescue, there was one word that was missing from all of them: Consent. While several books did do a good job at talking about the...
Practical Ways Christian Marriage Teachers Can “Do No Harm”
Often Christian Marriage teachers say “this is only for spouses in good marriages.” But spouses in destructive marriages listen! Here’s how to help all without harming some.
The Amazing Step-Parents We Only Have Because of Divorce
When churches and denominations deny people the chance to divorce for abuse, they also deny kids the chance to grow up with amazing step-parents. I think we forget that. Those who argue so vehemently that abuse isn't a valid reason for divorce (as Focus on the Family...
PODCAST: Scary Body Language — and Believe When people Admit They’re Scary
A podcast dissecting Dennis Prager’s bad advice about infidelity, and YouTube influencers Paul and Morgan with a case study on body language and identifying unhealthy dynamics.
Is your Church or Denomination Safe for Abuse Victims? 20 Denominations That Aren’t
20 Evangelical Denominations in the United States that do not condone divorce for abuse. Plus information on the effect this has on abuse victims, and how you can help change the policies.
Is Your Pastor a Shepherd or a Hired Hand?
Some pastors are not simply unsafe; they are downright dangerous. And some church elder's boards, church's women's ministries, and denominations in general are downright dangerous. We had a horrible example of that earlier this month when John Piper posted a terrible...