Why does our doctrine of forgiveness and healing often cause so much pain? We’re told the problem is our hearts, that we’re just bitter. But what if it’s not that? What if our teaching on forgiveness has gotten things all wrong? This week, on the podcast, I introduced...
What if...the people we listen to for advice are more likely to be being abused? And what if the couples held up as ones to emulate by organizations like Focus on the Family are actually in really destructive relationships? This was a sad one for me to record, because...
Focus on the Family wants women to believe that if they pray, men jailed for domestic violence can change. Just before Christmas, on December 19, something super strange happened on the Focus on the Family Facebook Page. They shared this story:"My marriage was over....
Often Christian Marriage teachers say “this is only for spouses in good marriages.” But spouses in destructive marriages listen! Here’s how to help all without harming some.
When churches and denominations deny people the chance to divorce for abuse, they also deny kids the chance to grow up with amazing step-parents. I think we forget that. Those who argue so vehemently that abuse isn't a valid reason for divorce (as Focus on the Family...
A podcast dissecting Dennis Prager’s bad advice about infidelity, and YouTube influencers Paul and Morgan with a case study on body language and identifying unhealthy dynamics.
20 Evangelical Denominations in the United States that do not condone divorce for abuse. Plus information on the effect this has on abuse victims, and how you can help change the policies.
Some pastors are not simply unsafe; they are downright dangerous. And some church elder's boards, church's women's ministries, and denominations in general are downright dangerous. We had a horrible example of that earlier this month when John Piper posted a terrible...
How do you know if you're being abused? One of the hardest parts of blogging is reading so many heartbreaking emails and comments that come in from people in truly destructive marriages. I find myself wondering, why do people treat each other this way? And even more...
We're in the middle of our Marriage Misdiagnosis series, talking about how often the church misdiagnoses the problems in marriage--and so offers the wrong solutions. Last week we looked at how often people are pressured to reconcile before trust has been rebuilt....
What if Christian marriage books are telling you that your destructive marriage is normal? We're in the middle of Marriage Misdiagnosis month, where we're looking at how some of the messages given in evangelical marriage books actually talk about marriage problems...
Sheila here! When I was planning last week's podcast looking at how the authors and organizations that we critiqued in The Great Sex Rescue had responded to our book, I started making a list of all the things that they had acccused us of. By the end of that effort, I...
We know that women have a huge problem with sexual shame. Many men do, too, of course! But let's stick with women for a moment here, because when we were reading best-selling books to see trends of how they taught about sex, we noticed a pattern: Quite often men were...
Are you married to a controlling husband? I first ran this post back in 2016, but as we're moving over to our new domain next week, and taking only the posts from 2018 and forward, I wanted to make sure this one came with us! I refer to it a lot. If you're in...
My heart hurts when I hear stories of what happens when women (or children or men, for that matter) are made powerless. In about a week or so we'll be moving the blog over to a new domain, taking only the posts from 2018 with us. I have some posts from pre-2018...