We don't have to accept pastors demonizing little girls. Recently, I was sent a clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go looking for these. Josh Howerton, you may remember, is the same megachurch pastor who told women to “stand where...
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PODCAST: The Well-Trained Wife with Tia Levings
What happens to your marriage when you get dragged into fundamentalism? Tia Levings went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from...
Ballerina Farm, Gilded Cages, and Love vs. Ownership
Four months ago I had never heard of Ballerina Farm. When someone–I think my oldest daughter–told me about her social media account, I still couldn’t understand the name. It’s a farm for ballerinas? But as I’ve been hearing more and more about trad wife content,...
Why “It’s Just a Joke” Doesn’t Cut it When Men Make Mean Sex Jokes
A few months ago, I went viral on Twitter when I shared that atrocious clip of Josh Howerton telling women to "do what he tells you to do" on "his" wedding night. Many of Howerton's supporters, and Howerton himself, said it was "just a joke." Sam Jolman, who was on...
What Mica Miller Teaches Us About Revenge Porn and Abuse
At the end of April, Mica Miller died in very suspicious circumstances. She had been married to pastor JP Miller, and there were what look to me like credible allegations of abuse. She had been asking people for help, and had recently filed for divorce and a...
Is It Wrong to Be Attracted to the Person You’re Going to Marry?
Is sexual attraction outside of marriage a sin? Honestly, this is a strange discussion, but I'm not the one who started it. Jared Moore, an SBC pastor, started a kerfuffle on Twitter last year when he said that even being attracted to someone that you're engaged to is...
A “Hygge” Marriage: What the Danes Can Teach Us about Happiness in Marriage
The Danes can teach us a lot about how to be happy in marriage! I am back from three weeks offline (which was amazing, and which I desperately needed), and during that time my mother and my husband and I took a cruise of Northern Europe, spending time in Denmark and...
The Bear Or Man Test–And What It Means About Masculinity
You've likely heard of the "Bear or Man?" Test If you were alone in the woods, would you rather come across a bear, or a man? It's been taking social media by storm, and women overwhelmingly have answered "bear", which has made many men angry. The reasons women have...
Do New Brides Need Their Husbands to Teach Them about Sex?
Do men naturally know more about sex than women? On a recent Facebook post, still deeply bothered by that infamous clip from Josh Howerton, I asked this question, “Do we think men "naturally" know more about sex than women do? And that men are equipped to teach...
Smells Like Jezebel Spirit: Can We Please Stop Calling Women Jezebel Spirit?
Some awfully bizarre things happened at the recent Strong Men’s Conference–and Jezebel made an appearance. I don’t even know where to begin, and I don’t want to talk about the conference itself because so many have already done a good job. To sum up, there was one of...
PODCAST: How Submission “Cults” Groom for Abuse–One Woman’s Story
When you've been raised to submit, will you even recognize abuse? With thanks to the NIV Kingdom Girls Bible for sponsoring this podcast! Today on the Bare Marriage podcast, we've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's...
What is the Window of Tolerance? And What Does It Mean about Sex?
The window of tolerance concept helps highlight emotional health. On a recent podcast episode, I was honoured to have licensed counsellor, Jay Stringer, on as a guest. One of the things he talked about was that evangelical views on gender roles and marriage are...
7 Ways Churches Can Help People Going through Divorce
with thanks to Brazos Press and the book Forgiveness After Trauma for sponsoring this post. Divorce is one of the most painful things a person can go through. But often, right when people need help the most, the church abandons them. A few weeks ago on the Bare...