Are you the kind of couple who buys each other Christmas gifts–or who goes in together and buys one big couple gift?
Keith and I have a real problem every year with gifts, because our anniversary is also December 21. So every year, just when we’re trying to figure out gifts for everybody else, we also have to figure out TWO gifts for each other. And since both Keith and I have very specialized hobbies (I’m a big knitter; he’s a big bird watcher and miniature soldier painter), it’s hard for us to buy for each other. We both want such specific things the other isn’t knowledgeable about.
It’s always a little bit stressful, and as a person who does NOT have gifts as her love language (and neither does my husband!), we often wonder if it’s worth all of the worry.
Besides that, we totally share bank accounts, so if he “buys” me a present, it’s not really like he’s giving me something, since it was my money already. It’s more like he’s spending our money, in a way to say, “I want to bless you with this without having to worry about spending money on yourself.” That’s lovely, but again–it’s not always what I want.
That’s where couple gifts can come in handy.
Some years, to avoid the hassle of having to find two presents for each other, we just decide that we will find something we both really want and buy it to bless our marriage. In fact, often this gives us something we want more! If he buys me something he thinks I’ll like, he doesn’t always get it 100% right, and vice versa. Plus, he only has 50% of the money to spend as he would have if we went in together. So often a couple gift gets you more of what you want–you just lose out on the surprise factor Christmas morning.
After all, if you combine forces, you have twice as much money to spend! And that can get you something awesome.
So today I thought I’d talk about couple presents that can bless you together. I don’t just want to look at buying stuff you both really want (like a new couch or a super cool espresso maker or a new appliance, even if those may be wonderful), but instead buying a couple gift that will actually bless your marriage. So let’s look!
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Try the “Gift of an Experience” Couple Gift
One of the best couple gifts I can think of is an experience where you go and do something together and build memories, have some fun, and laugh together!
Here are a few ideas:
1. Plan a trip together
Keith and I just loved our walking tour of Ireland we did a few years ago with Hillwalk Tours. It was a self-guided walking tour, so they made all the arrangements at the B&B and provided the maps, itinerary, and all the instructions we needed, and off we went!
Us on our amazing holiday in Ireland!
Maybe there’s some place you’ve always wanted to visit–or maybe you want to go back to the place you went for your honeymoon! Maybe you never even took a honeymoon. Instead of putting money towards individual gifts, maybe that money would better be put into a fund to save up for a trip that you both would absolutely love.
Can’t afford a big trip? There’s always the option just to take a romantic weekend getaway, just the two of you. That’s cheaper than a trip, and if you need extended time together, it’s a great way. Choose a location a little bit of a drive from where you live, so that it seems at least a little exotic, and choose a great place to stay. Remember–staying for 2 nights during the week is often cheaper than the weekend, so if you all have a flexible work schedule and flexible baby-sitters (if needed), that may be an option, too!
2. Go on a marriage weekend
Just a few weeks ago Keith and I spoke at the FamilyLife Canada Weekend Getaway in Whistler (FamilyLife Canada’s marriage conferences are very different from FamilyLife US). It’s such a fun weekend where you learn great SMALL things you can put into practice right away to enhance your marriage–while you also get a weekend away in a lovely hotel, and a chance for a great extended date night on Saturday night.
Check out some marriage conferences in your area, because every marriage needs a tune up sometimes.
3. Buy tickets to a Concert, Play, or Something Super Cool
My youngest daughter and her husband are buying tickets to the World Figure Skating Championships in Montreal this year. She always swore to herself that if it was ever anywhere near her in Canada, she’d go, and this is the year! But if that’s too expensive, consider tickets to a play, concert, or sporting event you’d both love.
Choose a Couple Gift that Focuses on Couple Fun
I’m a big believer that couples should have hobbies together! The more time we spend just doing things together and having fun, the better our communication will be. When we’re able to just chat and laugh together, then we build the foundation to also address serious stuff in the marriage. And we build great memories and camaraderie, too.
4. Take ballroom dancing lessons
One of the most romantic things Keith and I ever did as a couple was learn to ballroom dance. We’re not awesome, but we’re passable. And that means that when we’re at weddings or on cruises or something where there’s dancing–we can actually dance!
Don’t know where to take lessons? We’ve also discovered how you can take ballroom dancing lessons online (I’ve got a whole post on it here, including video of Keith and me trying!). And if you want to take a Crash Course in Ballroom Dancing (where you learn enough to do 3 dances in just 1.5 hours), try this one! But remember: It’s only a real couples gift if you actually practice. 🙂
5. Play Couple Board Games
One of my most popular posts on this blog is my post on board games to play as a couple! Every Christmas I buy a new board game for us and for our kids, now that they have a significant other. Why not invest in some of these 2-player games yourself? (It’s an older post, but I update it all the time!)
Keith and I do a date night once a week or so where we either bring board games to a pub, or we go to a board game cafe and play theirs. We’ve gotten to know a lot of new 2-player games, and it’s so much fun! (I know what board game I’m buying us this year, but I can’t announce it because then everybody will see ahead of time. 🙂 )
Taking Hive out to the pub to play!
6. Buy a Membership
A few years ago my oldest daughter and her husband bought a “couple gift” for themselves of a membership at a rock climbing gym, because they love doing that together. Maybe you could get a season’s pass to a ski hill, or a swimming pool, or a tennis club. Just choose something that you both enjoy doing.
Rebecca and Connor at the rock climbing gym!
Make Home More Comfortable as a Couple Gift
Home is where you spend most of your couple time–so make sure you enjoy it!
7. Upgrade Some Furniture You Use a Lot
Spend a lot of time cuddling on an uncomfortable couch watching Netflix? Maybe it’s time to upgrade your couch! Or maybe you’d love to get some reclining armchairs. Take the money you would have spent on each other and pool it to get the furniture you really want.
8. Buy a New Mattress–Or New Bedding
What’s more of a “marriage” gift than a luxurious bed? And the bed is the piece of furniture you will use the most. You will use your sheets far more than any item of clothing. Your bedding matters. So pamper your marriage by getting a great place to sleep!
Did you know that mattresses should be replaced every 7-10 years? Yet most people don’t do that. And considering that a good mattress can save you from back and neck problems, as well as help you sleep better, it really does matter.
Plus, a mattress that doesn’t squeak when you’re making love and that is just the right firmness to make this awesome is really a pretty important thing in a marriage! Don’t scrimp on the mattress. Scrimp on the appliances, but not the mattress!
And the same can go for pillows, too. I’ve got neck problems simply because I’m on my computer all day, plus I slouch, so I’ve gone out of my way to find pillows that cradle me properly at night. And nothing is as luxurious as a lovely duvet that makes you feel pampered. You spend 1/3 of your life in bed; think about making your bed up this Christmas!
Choose a Couple Gift to Pamper Yourself
9. Remake your morning coffee/tea routine
Are you real coffee people? Maybe it’s time to invest in a luxury espresso maker! Who needs $6 drinks at Starbucks if you can make them yourself? Rebecca and Connor bought a machine like the one on the left with a milk frother, and it’s saved them tons of money getting drinks out!
4-cup Espresso Machine Cappuccino Maker–with Milk Frother
Higher End Mr. Coffee Espresso Machine Cappuccino Maker–with Milk Frother
Add some awesome coffee thermoses, and you’re all set to go!
I’m actually not a coffee person–but I’m a major tea person. So a few years ago Keith bought me my favourite Christmas present ever–this Breville one-touch tea maker. You put the tea in the magnetic basket, and then fill it with the right amount of water (from enough for one cup of tea to about 8 cups of tea). Then you can program it for green, white, black, or herbal teas, and whether you want it strong, medium, or mild. The tea maker then gets the water to the right temperature (since white and green teas should not be steeped at as high a temperature as black and herbals), and keeps it in for just the right amount of time. It’s absolutely awesome! And it’s changed my life. When I quit Diet Pepsi, it allowed me to keep feeling like I was drinking something I liked.
10. Get a Coffee or Tea Subscription Service
Or how about having new coffees or teas arriving right to your door? I love the Driftaway Coffee story. They focus on smallholder coffee farmers, and when you order a coffee subscription from them, you get information on the farmer who actually grew your coffee–and who gets paid a decent amount. Here’s how it works: when you sign up, you’re sent a testing kit, where you’re asked to rate 4 different coffees. Then, based on your taste profile, they send you other coffees in subsequent months. You get to rate them, too, and your feedback helps Driftaway send you exactly the coffees you’ll love–from farmers you know aren’t being exploited.
Test the Coffees
Rate the Coffees
Drink the Coffees
Several tea companies also have subscription services. It’s kind of fun to get boxes every month with new goodies, so consider splurging for yourself with this if it’s something that you really enjoy together.
Choose a Christmas Couple Gift just to be Cute and Corny–Or Sexy
Hey, sometimes we all need to giggle and laugh at ourselves and celebrate the fact that we ARE a couple!
11. Try our Sexy Dares
And there’s no better way to celebrate than with our sexy dares! I created these last Valentine’s Day–24 dares for you to do as a couple, plus one big bonus dare. Eight dares are for him to do; eight dares are for her to do; and eight dares you do as a couple. If it’s your turn to do the dare, you read what’s involved, and then you do it! I’ve designed it so that the dares the guys do are really focused on helping her feel sexy and reach orgasm; and the dares the women do are focused on what he generally likes. And then the couple dares really enhance intimacy and fun.
Most cost very little and require very little prep, but you’ll have fun thinking about what’s coming all day!
12. Take the 31 Days to Great Sex challenge
January has 31 days–so maybe that’s a great time to launch into our great sex challenge. (I could say something like “start the year with a bang”, but that may be in bad taste).
And 31 Days won’t be for sale for a time after December 31. I’ve written a new, expanded version which will be published with Zondervan in August. So this is your last chance to get this for $4.99!
13. Buy matching underwear/sleepwear
This made me laugh. Pinkloud specializes in couple matching clothes–whether it’s robes, pyjamas, swimwear, or even underwear! How cute is that?
14. Buy some cute Couple Decor
Boldloft has the best couple decor–with pillows for your bed that coordinate with each other and tell a story (and some are pretty hot and sexy!), couple mugs, and more.
They even couple t-shirts. Makes for an awesome couple photo shoot, too!
Choose a Couple Gift that Helps You Pursue Your Goals
15. Get a Personal Trainer
Often you can hire a personal trainer as a couple for the same price as you can individually, so you can work out together! If getting in shape is something you enjoy and also something you really feel is important, this may be an awesome couple gift choice for you.
16. Learn to Cook Together
Want to learn to eat healthier? Want to simply learn to cook better at home, so you’re not always ordering take out? Lots of couples love taking cooking classes together! That’s an experience that can also teach you an important life skill. Or here’s one of my favourite ideas: Get a cooking subscription box service!
I really love Piquant Labs. It has freshly ground, small batch spice blends send directly to you every month, along with delicious recipes on how to use the spices, so that you open your taste buds to all new experiences and cuisines. Each month, the spices are from a specific region or country, so that you get to explore that cuisine together.
So there you are–some ideas to pool the money you would have spent on each other this year and buy something that will enhance your marriage!
But now let me ask you for your suggestions–what are couple gifts that you’d like? Let’s brainstorm together in the comments!
My fiance and I have got a joint membership to a charity which gives free access to heritage sites. Some of these sites cost a LOT to visit, but if you have a membership, it’s free. So we can just pop in for an hour to have a walk around a beautiful garden, or an old house instead of feeling like we have to spend an entire day there so we get value for money. Most of them are beautiful, peaceful places to visit, and we also get to learn a bit about our country’s history too. I think we will probably continue to get this joint membership after our marriage too, as we both really appreciate it (and neither of us are very gift-focused people either)
On the subject of gift buying – I know it is good for married couples to have joint finances, and this is something we’ve discussed and are both happy to do. But would you say it is ok for each partner to have a small personal account as well? Because otherwise it will make it difficult to ever make a birthday present a surprise!
Are you in Britain? We bought some heritage passes when we were there in the summer! It was really cool. I wish Canada had something like that.
I think it’s important that, in the budget, you each get some money that you can spend however you want each month. So if one person wants to go to Starbucks everyday, they’re not accused of being wasteful, and if the other wants to save up and buy a massive TV, they’re not accused of being extravagant. You can do whatever you want with that small amount of money, because it’s in the budget. And you can add gift money to that, too. Certainly that could be a separate account, or you could just do cash for it. Whatever works best!
Yes, we are in the UK – and it’s been great value.
Thanks for your advice about the money – we’ll look at keeping a small account each.
We got National Trust passes for last Christmas (we live in Canada, but we were travelling to Great Britain), and they were amazing! We kept track of how much money we saved and we definitely made good on the passes.
We found out later that there’s a National Trust for Canada, and if you’re a member, you get free admission to just not Canadian sites, but also the ones in Britain, Australia, and the US.
https://nationaltrustcanada.ca/
Oh, that’s amazing! I’m going to check that out.
We love couples game gifts. We got ourselves a huge RPG style game for our anniversary last year, and it made for so many good date nights!
Also, we got a set of those mugs like the ones from BoldLoft for our wedding 7 years ago, we use them nearly every day, and they are still good to go and legitimately one of my favorite wedding presents.
This system also sounds like it could work well for other occasions as well, like anniversaries! My husband and I share a birthday month, so maybe I should bring this up as an option this year. February is pretty close to Christmas anyway.
And that tea subscription idea sounds great, although that would be all for me. 😂
Sweet ideas! However as broke young marrieds we just skip on Christmas gifts to each other, save for a dollar or two put towards a candy bar for a stocking stuffer! Maybe someday!
These ideas are great, and I can totally see my husband and I doing this in the future!
This Christmas my husband and I are still buying each other individual gifts, but for my birthday this year, I couldn’t think of anything I really wanted or needed. We had to get a new couch, so we jokingly said that that was my birthday present. It may seem boring, but since I use the new couch every day, I actually really appreciate it way more than if I had’ve thought of anything else. We also ended up getting back into model trains, so we spent some money on things for that, as well.
Maybe receiving gifts isn’t my love language, so I definitely understand why others would still prefer getting individual gifts, and that’s totally okay! And I do still love giving gifts, especially if it’s something I know the other person really wants. (But then I get so excited about it, that it’s hard to keep it a secret until birthdays or Christmas!)