Thank you to Zondervan and the book To Heal or Harm for sponsoring this post Often when we point out advice is harmful people respond with "but it's not meant for abusive marriages!" The implication is that those who are abused should realize that this book or video...
How did we get to the point where Scripture is so easily weaponized? Thank you to Zondervan for sponsoring this post. I mean, I suppose it always has been. That's one of the things Jesus railed against the religious leaders for, and that the prophets railed against...
Jeffrey Epstein apparently found James Dobson useful. TW: I will be talking in generic terms about sexual abuse in this article, and mentioning Jeffrey Epstein. And I will be including several snippets from evangelicals that sexualize little girls. Over the weekend,...
What if evangelical marriage advice actually mimics coercive control? A few months ago I was emailed by Bethany Jantzi when I started talking about The Excellent Wife online. She had just done her dissertation on how The Excellent Wife actually has the same advice and...
The Excellent Wife is a horribly depressing book to read. It was profoundly heavy and sad. When I started writing these onesheets, they didn’t really affect me that much. Most of the books I was going to be reading were ones I had read already, or were ones I had read...
There are few books as harmful to women as The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace sells like hotcakes in biblical counseling/ fundamentalist/ homeschooling circles, and even though it seems like a “fringe” book, it’s affecting tens of...
ONE OF THE THINGS WE’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ON THIS BLOG IS MAKING SURE THE SELF-HELP AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IN THE EVANGELICAL WORLD IS HEALTHY. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...
What happens to your marriage when you get dragged into fundamentalism? Tia Levings went to a flagship SBC church. She wasn’t supposed to get sucked into fundamentalism. But Tia ended up being stuck in an abusive marriage, trying to fix things by following advice from...
Four months ago I had never heard of Ballerina Farm. When someone–I think my oldest daughter–told me about her social media account, I still couldn’t understand the name. It’s a farm for ballerinas? But as I’ve been hearing more and more about trad wife content,...
A few months ago, I went viral on Twitter when I shared that atrocious clip of Josh Howerton telling women to "do what he tells you to do" on "his" wedding night. Many of Howerton's supporters, and Howerton himself, said it was "just a joke." Sam Jolman, who was on...
At the end of April, Mica Miller died in very suspicious circumstances. She had been married to pastor JP Miller, and there were what look to me like credible allegations of abuse. She had been asking people for help, and had recently filed for divorce and a...
You've likely heard of the "Bear or Man?" Test If you were alone in the woods, would you rather come across a bear, or a man? It's been taking social media by storm, and women overwhelmingly have answered "bear", which has made many men angry. The reasons women have...
Some awfully bizarre things happened at the recent Strong Men’s Conference–and Jezebel made an appearance. I don’t even know where to begin, and I don’t want to talk about the conference itself because so many have already done a good job. To sum up, there was one of...
When you've been raised to submit, will you even recognize abuse? With thanks to the NIV Kingdom Girls Bible for sponsoring this podcast! Today on the Bare Marriage podcast, we've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's...
with thanks to Brazos Press and the book Forgiveness After Trauma for sponsoring this post. Divorce is one of the most painful things a person can go through. But often, right when people need help the most, the church abandons them. A few weeks ago on the Bare...