The “You’re Not Methadone for His Porn Addiction” Podcast

by | Feb 4, 2021 | Pornography, Uncategorized | 35 comments

Podcast: You Are Not Methadone for Porn Addictions

You cannot defeat porn by becoming methadone for your husband’s porn addiction. 

And yet that’s exactly what Every Man’s Battle tells women to do!

“Your wife can be a methadone-like fix when your temperature is rising.”

“Once he tells you he’s going cold turkey, be like a merciful vial of methadone for him.”

Every Man's Battle

On today’s podcast we’re going to look at how prevalent the idea that “women should have sex to stop their husbands from watching porn” is in our evangelical best-sellers–and how to have discernment so we see how wrong this is. 

Listen in!

Or, of course, you can watch the podcast!

 

Timeline of the Podcast:

2:05 Saying “Just put out more or he’ll watch porn” definitely,100% will for sure get your wife in the mood
4:03 Research: What happens if people believe the ‘porn message’?
8:16 The Church needs to STOP blaming women for men’s sexual sin
11:45 An example from Sheet Music
18:19 Every Heart Restored is just GROSS
26:50 Porn use makes the Christian advice physically impossible
29:20 Transfering your lust doesn’t make it right
34:38 Michael John Cusick joins in for a conversation on restoration and healing from pornography use
51:22 Finishing off with some good news

New Research: How does this methadone idea affect women?

We shared some of our data from The Great Sex Rescue, our book that launches March 2! We had such fun this week on our first Facebook Live for people who have pre-ordered.

And if you’re going to buy the book anyway (which you should; it’s awesome); why not pre-order now, and then get our bonuses, including the scorecard we talked about in the podcast? Plus you’ll be invited to join our exclusive Facebook group! All the info is here.

The Great Sex Rescue

Launches March 2!

What if you’re NOT the problem with your sex life?

What if the things that you’ve been taught have messed things up–and what if there’s a way to escape these messages?

Welcome to the Great Sex Rescue.

Pre-Order Now! (Helps us out a ton)

And if you email your receipt, we’ll send you a special pre-order BONUS

Time to Pre-Order

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We read a bunch of excerpts from problematic books in this podcast, like Sheet Music, Every Man’s Battle, and Every Heart Restored, that all told women that they had to have sex so their husbands would stop watching porn.

All of them made sex about a husband’s ejaculation rather than about intimacy.

All of them ignored how you can’t defeat lust by lusting after your wife; you need to deal with the way that you have seen sex in a selfish way and how you have run away from intimacy.

Warning: Some of the quotes we read were really disturbing.

In fact, they were so disturbing that Baker Books made us take them out our original manuscript for Great Sex Rescue. They were just too awful.

We agree–they were. And yet they were in our evangelical best-sellers. 

Can we please start to read with a more discerning eye? Please listen in! This is very illuminating.

And then remember: porn use often causes sexual dysfunction and a lack of libido. 

The advice to “just have sex” is such a slap in the face for so many women married to men who can no longer perform, or no longer want to perform, because of porn, as these questions show:

My husband will not stop watching porn and I am absolutely devastated.

I have told him at least two dozen times it is a deal breaker for me and he keep promises it won’t happen again.

Before he met me it was the only thing he watched but that ended when I moved in. Married a year later and he gave all his movies away. We had four years of great marriage until he got his first cell phone and a friend of his started sending him porn videos on Facebook. 

I am so sick to my stomach. I have offered to watch porn with him but he says he finds that very weird and won’t have it. I have found he has friended women on Facebook who run sex chat lines and send out porn pictures of themselves. He saves pictures onto his phone as well.

Every time I catch him he brushes it off while I shake and feel nauseous.  He wonders why I now have such low self esteem and insecurities with him. I can no longer stand listening to him talk about other women especially comments of how pretty they are. Oral sex used to bring him to orgasm. That is no longer happening. He can only reach orgasm by looking at my from behind now.

I loved and trusted him so much up until six months ago and now my feelings are all screwed up. Our sex life had been good, 3 to 5 times a week, now he is claiming the high blood pressure pills are not allowing him to get erections anymore.

I don’t want to explode but I feel like I am imploding.

My husband is unbeliever addicted to porn, we hardly have sex, he is hardly interested. My sexual drive is too high I beg him so much to please have sex but he says No. He says he doesn’t want to and he’ll approach me when he wants it. When he does it’s over in 2 minutes. 

What do I do?  

Finally, we brought on Michael John Cusick to help a woman move forward after a husband’s porn addiction

Michael John Cusick has done a lot of work in the field of sex addiction, and he found me on Twitter when I was talking about why the Every Man’s Battle philosophy is so bad.

He agrees. He thinks it’s putting a band-aid on something. What we need is healing and transformation, which means looking at the root issues, not just trying to “bounce your eyes”.

It was a great talk! Michael is the author of Surfing for God, a book that helps men discover the root of porn addictions.

Surfing for God

 

Things Mentioned in this Podcast:

  • Our Porn series in April (read the first; the rest are linked from there)
  • Our Porn Habits Podcast: How most porn use predates the marriage (my response to Focus on the Family telling women that men watch porn because their wives don’t have sex enough)
  • Michael John Cusick Website, Podcast, and book: Surfing for God, about discovering the divine desire beneath the sexual struggle
  • Andrew Bauman, author of The Sexually Healthy Man
  • Preorder The Great Sex Rescue and get our scorecard and rubric for the 12 marks of healthy sexuality!
  • Then join our Facebook group to become part of the launch team–see our Facebook Lives; and get a chance to read the book NOW! Just send us your pre-order receipt and you’ll get an invite!
You Are Not Methadone for His Porn Addiction

Have you heard the “have sex so he doesn’t watch porn” message? Or have you ever read any of these books? Let’s talk in the comments!

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Founder of Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

Related Posts

Sheila Wray Gregoire

Author at Bare Marriage

Sheila is determined to help Christians find biblical, healthy, evidence-based help for their marriages. And in doing so, she's turning the evangelical world on its head, challenging many of the toxic teachings, especially in her newest book The Great Sex Rescue. She’s an award-winning author of 8 books and a sought-after speaker. With her humorous, no-nonsense approach, Sheila works with her husband Keith and daughter Rebecca to create podcasts and courses to help couples find true intimacy. Plus she knits. All the time. ENTJ, straight 8

Related Posts

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35 Comments

  1. Anon

    I have never read Every mans battle and after seeing this I am happy that I haven’t.
    It’s sad that Christians think that sex is the problem when it comes to porn addiction. The more I try to recover the more I realize that it’s not. And as long as it is treated as a. Sex problem it will never solve the true problem and as you say only hurt women like my wife and others who have husbands who are addicted.
    I have said it before , the church, Christianity in itself needs to be more therapeutic. It must stop blaming women for men’s problems and start to help people see the real problems. The deep seated emotional issues that are the reason for porn addiction. Yes it needs to talk about the flesh and repentance from sin because that is important but it also needs to see that there are psychological reasons for these things too. Things that need therapy not just more sex.
    And as you say. For guys who don’t function like normal anymore more sex doesn’t solve anything. I have lost a lot of my libido. While it may not only be because of the porn , it hasn’t helped. The shame I feel over my actions have made it difficult to even interact with my wife sexually. She doesn’t deserve that. She sadly prefers to live in denial. Hopefully for her she will one day stop living in it and decide that divorce is the best option. She deserves a good man. But in the meantime I will continue to do what I can and work to find my why and deal with it.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Anon, you’re so brave coming back here again and again and trying to get to the heart of these issues! (And, yes, Every Man’s Battle would have made you a basket case from what I’ve seen of your previous comments).
      I think you’ll really like the segment on the podcast with Michael John Cusick (you can see from the timeline where it is if you want to fast forward to just that part). You may really enjoy his book, too. It’s so much about defeating shame and understanding why this stuff sucks us in, and then pointing to real healing and transformation. It sounded really hopeful to me!

      Reply
  2. Nathan

    The fact that the publisher had those quotes removed from your book, yet those quotes were in evangelical best sellers is a HUGE wake up call, or should be.
    But it’s not surprising. Quotes like that come from a very flawed premise common in some evangelical circles…
    “Sex is primarily a physical need that God gave to men, then God created women to serve that need (but not enjoy it themselves)”
    Not only is this unbiblical, it’s also irrational. God creating humanity in such a way that one half is here only to serve the other half, yet not enjoy many parts of that servitude, makes no sense. I just can’t see God creating a system like that.

    Reply
  3. Stephanie

    This is so good. I cannot wrap my head around why these authors even think they are helpful. We’ve been so conditioned to believe that what they say is true. Men NEED sex all the time. Women don’t really want it, but need to be happy to give it. UGH.
    I have been following your site and FB for a while now and I love everything you put out. It’s so encouraging and has been a great help to my husband and I. Hopefully this doesn’t seem way out in left field, but I am actually a female recovering porn addict. I know you have included some info about female porn addiction in some of your posts. But I was wondering if you’ve considered writing more on female porn addiction and how that can play a role in sex and marriage? I know male porn addiction is higher, but statistics show more and more female have a problem as well. And Christian women for sure.
    Thank you 🙂

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yes, Stephanie, I will try to do so, maybe in March? We actually cover that in the book as well–how women who struggle with lust or with porn are totally left out of the conversation, and thus feel like freaks even more than the men do. And these books are adamant that women can’t lust the way men do. It’s really problematic!

      Reply
  4. Nathan

    > > “women should have sex to stop their husbands from watching porn”
    This is a stumbling block that my own church has, although they don’t completely buy into other flawed ideas.
    The fact is that lack of sex is almost never the cause of porn watching. And even in the rare cases where it is, more sex likely won’t fix the problem, because once porn watching begins, it becomes an addiction and takes on a life of its own.

    Reply
    • Anonymouse

      Damage these books do that Sheila didn’t cover is that there are some husbands who do turn to porn when their wives aren’t available, but don’t use porn when she is available. These books make it seem as if it is her fault and puts her husband’s sins on her shoulders to manage, instead of putting the onus on the husbands for turning to porn regardless whether she’s on her period, sick, or just had a baby!
      I still struggle with feeling obligated to have sex somehow in order to “stop him from” whatever.
      There is no healthy self-control taught in evangelicalism.

      Reply
      • Sheila Wray Gregoire

        Yes! And self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. We should be pursuing the Spirit!

        Reply
  5. Melissa

    I think literally every Christian book that references marriage in any way has at least alluded to this idea. So even if a person doesn’t necessarily agree with it, they’ve been exposed to it. These teachings didn’t really affect my own marriage in a negative way, but I’ve seen them affect others. I’ve seen women carry heartbreak and guilt that was never theirs to carry.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Me, too! And I had to rid myself of the obligation sex message (that we’re talking about next week) a lot! This stuff is in the water, so to speak.

      Reply
  6. Stephanie

    I know you are crazy busy! So if you are able to get around to it 🙂 And yay!! I cannot wait to read it. That is the truth for sure!! I know I have definitely felt that way. But I know I am not alone! Thank you for considering my request and I will keep looking forward to what you have to say. #shakingthingsup lol 🙂

    Reply
  7. Anon

    Am I the only one who is ‘disturbed’ that extracts from ‘Christian’ books on sex and marriage are deemed too ‘disturbing’ to quote in another Christian book on sex & marriage? If it’s too disturbing to quote from, it should be too disturbing to publish in the first place!

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      I know. We really argued for some of those quotes to make it into the book, but we ended up compromising. They wanted to take out more than we actually did because they felt it was so awful. We said that women wouldn’t mind; we’ve heard this our whole lives. To see it all laid out is actually freeing and validating because it confirms that you were treated badly.

      Reply
      • M

        Maybe they’ll allow it in the second edition;)

        Reply
  8. Brokenhearted

    Thank you Bare Marriage team for speaking up for true healing and wholeness in Jesus!
    I am one of those women who read “Every Heart Restored,” “Every Man’s Battle” and many other books to make sense of things after I was blindsided by my husband’s betrayals. I turned to my church leadership and received a mixture of understanding and blame. They would tell me it wasn’t my fault but encouraged me to read books in the “Every Man’s Battle” series and “Love and Respect” (thankfully I didn’t read that one) and say things like “You just need to pray and trust God more” when I was honest about my betrayal trauma (although I didn’t know it was called that yet). I left that church after a year of confusing messages but I still struggle to trust churches and church leaders in particular because of the pain that they caused. I am also far more careful now about the books I choose to read. I think God protected me from a lot of what I was reading but some of the messages did sink in and I now realize how much crap I had listened to that first year after my husband’s betrayal was discovered.
    It has been 3.5 years and I am still trying to find safe, healthy, Jesus-centered material to read and share with my husband as we work to recover, heal and restore our marriage. Thank you for having Michael John Cusick as a guest speaker, I will be looking into Restoring the Soul. I know that both myself and my husband would benefit from good, healthy counseling but our previous experiences have not been good and the thought of going through that again hurts.
    I love what was said about the goal not being sobriety but freedom in Christ. This is so true! I don’t want to just pretend that the betrayals never happened. I want to hand my pain over to Jesus so that He can bind up my wounds and breathe life into my brokenness. I don’t want my husband to spend the rest of his life struggling and white knuckling sobriety, but to be healed from the abandonment of his childhood, the pain of being introduced to porn as a young teen, and all of the wounds and scars that he has experienced and inflicted so that he can live in freedom and peace that can only be found in Jesus.
    Jesus said in John 10:10 “I have come that they may have life, and live it to the full.”

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      I just had another long conversation with Michael Cusick. He’s really a good guy! Look up his stuff, and Andrew Bauman. They both have so much to say to guys who have fallen in this area, about what true restoration looks like.
      I’m so sorry that your church leadership had nothing better to give you other than “it’s partly your fault.” So awful.

      Reply
  9. Kya

    After listening to the podcast, I went for a run and remembered a conversation with my boyfriend (now husband of 10 years) from when we were dating. Background: I dated a non-Christian. Because of my wishes, we never had sex, and he never pressured me. After 2 years I broke up with him because marriage wasn’t an option. (He later found Christ and we got back together.) When I told my boyfriend that we needed to break up, he asked me why, and I told him that because of our different religious views I would never be able to marry him and it was time to stop wasting each other’s time. He protested and said: “Well, what if we don’t get married? What if we just keep dating forever instead?” My response (from an upbringing in purity culture): “You realize that means we would never have sex.” Him: “I know. That’s okay.” My NON-CHRISTIAN boyfriend of 2 years told me that he loved me so much he wanted to stay with me even if we NEVER had sex. If it was off the table forever. And then these books say that it is unbelievably difficult for a man to even last the 5 days of his wife’s period without sexual favors? Church, what standard are we holding our men to? What does it actually mean to love your wife as Christ loved the church? The world should not do this better than we do.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      So true, Kya! The world should never do better. The fact that it does shows us that something in the way we talk about this is really, really wrong.

      Reply
  10. Phil

    I liked what the Colorado dude had to say. I was think the answer was also along the lines of simpler view – the guy with the porn problem basically had a previous relationship before his marriage. That relationship was with porn. Although it’s been said a lot of different ways around here,Its never really been said in these words: Porn is essentially having a relationship with another woman. Aka Colorado dudes intimacy problem description….

    Reply
  11. Rodriguez

    Hey! Thanks so much for these posts. As a recovering porn addict AND as someone who grew up on the hyper end of purity/every man’s battle culture, your posts have been very helpful.
    Question: Regarding the “good story” at the end, and your other posts about overcoming lust/seeing women as people rather than threats, this is an honest question: Would it be helpful for me to “practice” by going to beaches, viewing breastfeeding videos/photos, or viewing non-sexualized photos of women, intentionally practicing seeing women and their bodies in a non-lustful way? Even with BF, I recall when my wife was pregnant us wanting to avoid books with actual photos so as to not cause me to lust. I’m wondering if it’s better to retrain my brain by practicing viewing non-sexualized photos of women in non-lustful ways. Don’t mean to sound weird or creepy or anything, just an honest question.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      i think seeking out pictures is likely not a good idea. But I think learning to interact with women in normal interactions on a daily basis is just the right thing to do. I don’t think we need to seek anything out necessarily; just take what comes. But this may be a good question to ask a licensed therapist. And if your wife is still scared of you looking at pictures or other women, it sounds like she may still need to work through some betrayal trauma counseling? I think it’s great that you’re asking this, though. It sounds like you’ve come such a long way. That’s really awesome, and I honestly know so many who have come out the other side. Maybe checking out Michael’s book may be a good place to start?

      Reply
      • Rodriguez

        Thanks for the reply! My wife and I are in therapy together and separately. She’s acknowledged her own struggles in that she was raised similarly to me. Her mom was constantly berating her daughters to not dress this or that way and always judging women they saw for how they dressed. Moreover, her father cheated on her mom and struggled w/porn mostly unapologetically. Her mom wouldn’t let her dad have friends or go to the gym, etc., and my wife also has asked me to not go to the gym, even prior to my struggle being fully revealed. She’s always telling me to look away from women and is highly anxious when I have work-related meetings with women (in public settings) (even though adultery/affairs have not been a struggle for me/us) and loves the Billy Graham rules. But she knows that is something she’s working on, in addition to betrayal trauma from me w/the porn stuff. So I know it’s really hard for her. I’m just trying to navigate a healthy way for me to think about all this.
        In addition to the resources you’ve shared, two other resources that have been helping me a lot are Jay Stringer and Dan Allender, SUPER great ways for thinking about sexuality in a more healthy, non-purity culture or every man’s battle way. Would totally recommend them.

        Reply
  12. Wild Honey

    I don’t know where to start…
    Wait, yes I do. Do you mean to say that JESUS NEVER BOUNCED HIS EYES?!
    On a more serious note, the information and stories you’ve been sharing in this post and others have been connecting so many dots. We’ve been married ten years. Several years ago, I slowly drifted away from reading or listening to Christian marriage advice. (In hindsight, praise the Lord.) So much of what I heard just didn’t seem to fit my husband and I. It made me think there was something wrong with us; maybe I was too masculine and he was too feminine, and that’s why we could somehow balance each other out in marriage but the advice that seemed to work for everyone else never seemed to work for us and we were doomed to blindly find our own way forward.
    Then I stumbled across this blog in the middle of the Focus on the Family / Love & Respect showdown.
    And this podcast in particular has made me lament so many things from earlier in our marriage. Like the time I thought my husband was having an affair because he didn’t want intercourse as often as I thought he should. (He wasn’t.) And other things I’m not ready to bare, but that I can mourn the ways in which they stole years of intimacy from us.
    I’m also wrestling with how we as a wider body of believers have set relationships up for failure (my own included). Thank you for showing a better way forward.
    Praying for you all as the wave of “The Great Sex Rescue” builds momentum.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Thank you, Wild Honey! It honestly stole years from me, too. Just when I think I’ve processed it all something else comes up. It’s like taking layers off of onions; there’s always more beneath the surface. I hope we’re getting to the bottom, though. I hope we really are laying everything bare and getting back to Jesus!

      Reply
  13. This is a Pseudonym

    THANK YOU for this podcast. It was very validating. Especially what Michael John Cusick was saying about heartbreak is heartbreak, and women have a similar reaction to sexual assault when they find out their partner has betrayed them. Porn is not light duty and no big deal. It harms real people: the ones on the screen and those in your life.
    I wanted to mention something about the last comment you read. I was shocked that you were going to include that in your book. That comment sickened me when I read it back when it was first posted. I think I understand now that you’re saying, “See? It doesn’t matter what women wear: men CAN control their thoughts!” But at the time I thought you and other commenters were saying, “You are such a prude if you don’t want to go to a topless beach with your husband.”
    I just want to give a caveat to women or men who don’t trust their spouse: You are not a bad person for not wanting to go certain places with them! If they have done things to make you feel unsafe (porn, affairs, ogling women, etc.), it’s not on you to get over it. They have to prove that they are trustworthy.
    I was listening to a podcast called The Betrayed, the Addicted, and the Expert, and they were saying that you don’t have to go to the beach with your husband if that’s triggering for you. You don’t have to go just to prove that you can handle it. You’ll be super stressed/anxious the whole time, and it won’t be any fun. It won’t be good for your mental health.
    The goal would be that you feel safe enough to go places with your spouse, but if it’s triggering for you, you need to heal and they need to prove themselves first.
    Anyway, just wanted to say that for any other women (or men) that might have had a similar reaction to me.

    Reply
    • Ash

      Thankyou for this, yes I felt also uncomfortable with the topless beach illustration. Your explanation of it helps a bit. I think unless I had grown up in a culture of women on beaches being topless, and being surrounded by it my whole life, I wouldn’t be comfortable with that much body on display. I understand that for people who grow up with that, as with people in rural areas of Africa, that breasts on display don’t necessarily lead to any sexual thoughts at all. But when you live in a society where breasts are covered, even at swimming pools and on beaches, then I think topless beaches would be just too much temptation in the face, and I think it should be okay to admit that.

      Reply
  14. Jeannie Miller

    Started Every Man’s Battle out of curiosity after reading your blogs. I stopped at the part where the guy masturbated to his sister-in-law. Like seriously, WHO DOES THAT. My husband didn’t grow up in church and I’m so thankful for that.
    Our sons will not be reading this book

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yeah, and they presented it like it was normal! At least you didn’t get to the part where the youth leader raped the girl who was flirting with him. And somehow the victim in that was the youth leader.

      Reply
  15. Dara

    Hi!!The part about the managing of our sin gospel, I replayed that part so many times. So goooood. Thank you for sharing your platform with him.
    I wish more people spoke about the gospel and that it is supposed to restore and bring wholeness beyond just the forgiveness of our sin. Jesus did more than only forgive us of our sin. Usually we are dealing with the broken world and dealing with the hurt of our own sin and the repercussions of the sin done against us. And I so agree when we look past the sin managing gospel we also become less of the judgy Christian and can actually overflow into the culture and build the kingdom.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Yes! I really think we’re missing the whole point of what it means to bring the kingdom of God to earth. We really are.

      Reply
  16. MP

    I am tempted to listen to the podcast but resisting that temptation because the title alone is sufficiently enraging that I already need to repent.
    It’s truly incredible how much misunderstanding and flat-out discrimination was squeezed into two sentences (not just towards women, but also towards those who use drugs and the process of treating substance use disorder):
    “Your wife can be a methadone-like fix when your temperature is rising.”
    “Once he tells you he’s going cold turkey, be like a merciful vial of methadone for him.”
    That’s not how methadone is used. It’s not a “fix” and it’s the opposite of going “cold turkey.” Methadone is an alternative to abstinence. It’s a maintenance therapy of a daily controlled dose of a safer substance, intended to reduce the harm that happens when people use street drugs in uncontrolled doses with potentially life-threatening contaminants. It’s harm reduction. It’s not a cure and it’s not a fix. And it is prescribed in the context of very clear discussions about the nature of the prior substance use, expectations while on treatment, reasons to discontinue (e.g. if continuing to use drugs plus methadone, which is very dangerous) and dispensed in a controlled fashion at the same time every single day in order to help people whose lives are often disorganized have some structure to their day. (Yes, I care for people who live with various addictions).
    To equate the marriage relationship to this and to ask a woman to be a harm reduction tool because she’s better/safer than the preferred alternative, which her husband will surely turn to if she does not provide the outlet?!?!? I am so incredulous that anyone would think that, let alone write it. It is so profoundly dehumanizing, which thereby further perpetuates the dehumanizing cognitive and emotional distortions attendant to pornography use!!
    And not to be particular, but methadone is an oral medication, not a vial of anything. It’s a powder that needs to be reconstituted with liquid and you drink it. As I said – so much wrong squeezed into two sentences, which really demonstrates that not only is the underlying stance profoundly flawed, but the supporting argument is so flimsy that an ill-fitting and incorrect metaphor is all that can be offered. Having the confidence to speak with such certainty while being so wrong is almost impressive, if only it were not so harmful.
    The unfortunate thing is that people who use drugs and are on methadone treatment will, at minimum, interact regularly with an individual who has a license to prescribe and someone who has a license to dispense. But those with pornography/sex addiction do not necessarily have access to qualified licensed professionals and if seeking help through a church, are vulnerable to atrocious messages like this.
    Thank you for shining the light into the dark corners of stances that purport to be Christian.

    Reply
    • Sheila Wray Gregoire

      Thank you, MP! That’s actually really helpful. Thank you for spelling that out; I may copy and paste when I want to talk about this again! (and credit you of course).

      Reply
  17. Stephanie

    Thank you so much for the work you are doing in bringing awareness to all of these issues, it is super important and so needed! Thank you for answering God’s call to be a voice in this area! And I can’t wait for our copy of the book to arrive in the mail!
    With that being said, hearing all this can feel pretty heavy and hopeless at times. It can make it feel like every single Christian book or teaching on sex or marriage or dating or gender has got it all so messed up (which is partly true). So I just want to say thank you so much for including the victory story at the end, it was a good reminder that there is HOPE end there is GOOD out there still. As well as sharing about the HEALTHY resources that are out there that people can check out instead of the unhealthy ones that are destroying people and their marriages. I think that this was so so helpful and a good reminder that there are still good authors and resources out there, they just might not be the Focus On The Family best sellers. Thanks for bringing awareness to the good options out there!
    So please keep including hope and good stories of a better way forward with Jesus when you share all the heavy and sad stuff, we all need that reminder 🙂
    Keep up the great work!

    Reply
  18. Headless Unicorn Guy

    So your wife is supposed to be nothing more than a substitute addictive drug?
    THAT’s paying her a real complement, isn’t it?

    Reply

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