Vashti is an often-forgotten woman from the Old Testament.
I love the Bible because it’s filled with stories–heroes and villains; kings and peasants; rulers and prophets.
And often the Bible leaves us with stories without giving any commentary on them. We’re supposed to read the stories and draw our own conclusions. Indeed, that’s why the Bible is filled with stories; because there are so many different nuances and different conclusions to be drawn, and they’re so rich that you can mine them afterwards for new things.
Because the Bible gives little commentary on specific aspects of stories, it’s all too easy to see them in a black and white way. And I’d like to stand up for a woman today who is often maligned. Recently I read another book where the author called her “The Disrespectful Wife”, and warned us against following her example.
On the contrary, I think we should all learn from her, and honour her in history.
Her name was Vashti, and here’s what happened:
Vashti was a queen, married to an absolute tyrant (Xerxes). The tyrant could order anyone killed on a whim. You weren’t allowed into his presence without an explicit invitation first–even if you were married to him! People were peons to him.
He decided to throw a huge banquet for all the military leaders and nobles in his kingdom. When our story opens, they had been eating and drinking for a week already. They were royally inebriated!
And in the middle of that, the king asks his wife, who is very beautiful, to come and parade herself before these drunken guys.
Here’s what the story says:
On the seventh day, when King Xerxes was in high spirits from wine, he commanded the seven eunuchs who served him—Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona,Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar and Karkas— 11 to bring before him Queen Vashti, wearing her royal crown, in order to display her beauty to the people and nobles, for she was lovely to look at. 12 But when the attendants delivered the king’s command, Queen Vashti refused to come. Then the king became furious and burned with anger.
Some Hebrew scholars believe that “wearing her royal crown” is better translated “wearing ONLY her royal crown”. In other words, she was being ordered to parade naked before all the drunken nobles.
Even if that interpretation isn’t correct, she was still obviously being asked to parade in front of drunken men so they could leer at her.
And Vashti said no.
The Bible tells us enough of the story so that we understand the King’s request was unjust and would put Vashti in an awkward, objectifying situation at best, and a dangerous situation at worst. If the main point in the story was that wives should not disobey husbands, I believe this bit would have been left out.
The pagan leaders frame her refusal as “sowing discord”. That does not mean God saw it that way.
Later in the passage, the king seeks his nobles’ advice about what should be done about Vashti’s refusal. This is the advice he gets:
Then Memukan replied … “Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Xerxes. 17 For the queen’s conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands and say, ‘King Xerxes commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.’ 18 This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen’s conduct will respond to all the king’s nobles in the same way. There will be no end of disrespect and discord.
19 “Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Xerxes. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she. 20 Then when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest.”
Just because the king and his nobles thought that encouraging discord among wives was evil does not mean that God thought encouraging discord among wives was evil-
Especially if it meant not obeying a sinful command. After all, the Bible tells us that Xerxes was a pagan king who had enslaved the Israelies. His nobles were enemies of God, too. So why would we take their concerns at face value?
(And Emerson Eggerichs does just that in his best-selling book Love & Respect!)
Remember the New Testament story of Ananias and Sapphira? Sapphira was struck dead because she followed Ananias’ lead to hold back some money they had pledged to the early church (Acts 5). Remember the story of David and Abigail? Abigail went against her evil husband Nabal and in the end saved the lives of her servants (1 Samuel 25).
Instead of listening to pagan nobles’ fears that wives may not respect their husbands, let’s listen to God’s design throughout Scripture that wives follow Him first, and never follow their husbands into sin.
The rush to demonize Vashti is rooted in an unhealthy view of marriage.
Too often people frame obedience to a husband as the greatest good, and sowing discord among wives as the greatest evil.
No, the greatest evil is substituting something else in the place for God. Jesus does not want us blindly obeying our husbands. Jesus wants us following Him, wherever it leads. And often what Jesus calls us to do is to take a stand when our culture–or even our marriage–is going off the rails.
This is why I often cringe at “Wives of the Bible” type studies and books.
Too often they hold up the examples of wives of the Bible as either “good” or “bad” depending upon the effect on their marriage–rather than their effect on the kingdom of God a a whole.
A better way to do it is to start from first principles: How is it that God wants us to live? Let’s start with Micah 6:8:
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
So we’re to act justly (walk in TRUTH); love mercy (show LOVE); find the balance between the two by walking humbly before God.
That points us to doing God’s will and knowing God before anything else. So don’t limit the Bible passages about marriage to only a select few. That’s when we’re likely to read too much into things and draw the wrong conclusions. Instead,
- Keep Jesus front and centre (Hebrews 12:1-3).
- Always seek to obey God, not human beings (Acts 5:29).
- And above all, put on love (Colossians 3:14).
Vashti has been dead for thousands of years now.
She likely spent the last few years of her life in misery. But she was a hero. She was one of the first recorded instances of a woman saying, “I refuse to be treated like a sex object, because that is not what I am.” She stood up for the dignity of women, something, by the way, that Jesus did, too. In that culture that despised women, she said, “no more!”
Today we honour heroines like that. Think of Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani girl who was shot in the head by the Taliban for going to school and taking exams. After her recovery, she refused to back down, believing that she could be an example to other girls who wanted to be educated. She stood up for her God-given dignity.
Rosa Parks was an African-American woman who refused to give up her seat on a Montgomery bus for a white person. Coming home from work one day in 1955, she was tired. She wanted to sit down. And she refused an evil act that said that she was not as much a person as someone who was white. She stood up for her God-given dignity.
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They didn’t set out to be heroes. They were just going about their normal business. But when someone tried to stop them from acting like they were fully human, they said no.
So did Vashti. Vashti did not succeed in her refusal. But maybe she was the impetus for many other women in the future saying, “I want to be treated with dignity, even if it costs me everything.” Maybe her sacrifice inspired others.
Yes, God used Vashti’s refusal to usher Esther into the palace and ultimately rescue His people. But I do not believe God despised Vashti for her actions. I believe that she did the right thing, and I believe that God left the details of why she refused the king in the story as a way to honour her. So I hope that we can stop maligning this woman as “the disrespectful wife”, and instead appreciate the immense sacrifice she made in defence of the dignity of all human beings.
After all, she’s the first woman in history to be known for refusing to be objectified. And I think that’s pretty cool.
We have merch celebrating Vashti!
Have you heard of the Proverbs 31 woman? Well, welcome to the Esther 1:12 woman, who refused to be objectified! She refused.
We have this design in mugs, hoodies, tshirts, totes, and more!
Design courtesy of @hercherch!
So interesting that Vashti’s gets framed as “the disrespectful wife” but Xerxes is never “the disrespectful husband.” Nor do people pay much attention to the narrative suggestions that he was impulsive, indecisive and easily manipulated-not necessarily a guy worthy of respect!
Exactly!
The story of Shahashah Xerxes and Shahbanou Vashti always reminds me of those Megapastors who parade their smokin’ Hawt trophy wives before their congregations — “Look What I’ve Got That YOU CAN’T HAVE!”
And for the second paragraph in you comment, remember at the time of writing, Xerxes was the most powerful ruler in the world, Padishah, Shahanshah, Shah of Media and Persia, of all Iran and Not-Iran. And this Jewish take on the Great King of a Superpower pokes holes in that hype, showing him as a very WEAK man, following blindlly any courtier (like Haman) who could lay on the flattery thicker and the others. Like an ancient version of appearing on South Park.
Bearing in mind that the majority of Christians portray the marriage between Esther and Xerxes as a romance, it’s not surprising they get Vashti’s story wrong as well. There is nothing ‘romantic’ in being taken from your home and family without your consent to spend the rest of your life being used as a sex slave.
But it’s God’s will for Christian wives to be used as sex slaves!
🙄 🤮 🤬
Exactly! It’s sex trafficking. She was sex trafficked.
Yeah, the traditional evangelical take on the story of Esther is totally in logical disagreement with other evangelical teachings:
1) Esther had extramarital/premarital sex (she was not married to Xerxes when she spent the night with him)
2) She did not fight tooth and nail and let them kill her rather than surrender her “purity” to a pagan king
3) She married a polytheistic pagan who did not worship the true God, which is prohibited to God’s people in both the old and new testaments
4) Xerxes is portrayed as being easily deceived and manipulated. The first good thing he does in the story is LISTEN TO HIS WIFE instead of the men around him.
5) Esther’s temptation is to give into fear and keep silent rather than speak up. Her act of courage is speaking out, basically following Vashti’s example, knowing she could suffer the same fate or even worse.
I know of someone else that defied Xerxes. His name was Leonidas, King of Sparta. When Xerxes ordered Leonidas and his 300 Spartans to surrender their weapons he replied, “Come and take them.”
The story of Leonidas and his 300 is still told around fires when warriors gather. Vashti’s story deserves no less. She was a woman with fire in her soul.
She really was!
“[Vashti] was a woman with fire in her soul.” Wow, I love that.
And Themistocles of Athens, who when Leonidas of Sparta was buying time plugging that pass at Thermopylae assembled the navies of all the feuding Greek kingdoms into a combined fleet and withdrew from Athens/Piraeus to Salamis, where he lured in and destroyed Xerxes’ navy, breaking the logistics pipeline Xerxes needed to supply and transport his invasion.
Up until 4 years ago, I was in congregations that largely painted Vashti as wrong (some even felt she was stupid and prideful because “how hard would it have been for her to just show up?”), so that is how I saw that scripture. As I am trying to un- and relearn scripture, I see it differently.
I see it less about her character- though I do not disagree with this post!- and more about showcasing Xerxes’.
He didn’t think well for himself, consulting with his advisors how to “handle” his wife, and was too easily influenced and manipulated.
He was prideful and stupid asking her to parade in front of probably 100s of drunken men (and by all these comp. theologies, we “know” these men could not have kept themselves under control so in essence was asking for a certain traumatic gang activity to happen to her.)
And mostly- he gave no mercy to a “no,” unlike God ,who had been much more merciful, e.g. Moses not wanting to speak.
For me, in a book that leaves God “silent”compared to others, it contrasts a powerful, wise, and loving God to a powerful, unwise, and merciless king. And that sets the stage for Esther’s fear of approaching him as well as the level of courage and faith it took for her to do so.
Good point about the nobles restraining themselves, or not.
Seems like a catch-22: if they want to sexually assault her and she refuses, she’s defying the King’s orders and the nobles will counsel him to get rid of her. If she submits to the assault or cannot fend it off, she’s damaged goods and he’s going to get rid of her.
Unfortunately pretty much everything seems a catch-22 set-up for women in some circles of thought.
Yep, that’s the situation so many women are in!
“For me, in a book that leaves God “silent”compared to others, it contrasts a powerful, wise, and loving God to a powerful, unwise, and merciless king.”
As opposed to today, where the books and preachers make God into a Powerful, Unwise, and Merciless Cosmic King who just Holds the Biggest Whip.
So I had never heard anyone preach on the story of Vashti before and I just assumed that she’s obviously a heroine.
Aren’t Christians supposed to be all about modesty? Isn’t parading around naked for drunk men the exact opposite of modesty?
As for setting things up for Esther: God uses all things for His good. That’s the theology. In reality, it’s often the second punch that does people in. Steamroll the first person to stand up for themselves, but that actually makes it much harder to steamroll the second person who does.
That is indeed a seeming inconsistency in the interpretation of this story. Parading around naked in front of men you aren’t married to is supposed to be wrong. My guess is that for some churches, your husbands commands override anything sinful. Or, the idea is that she should obey her husband and then take the blame on herself anyway, since it must somehow be her fault.
Or maybe some don’t realize the full extent of what her husband told her to do. Maybe some think he just wanted her to show up. Either way, Vashti was a strong person.
The inconsistency is part of the problem- when the men in these circles of thought set themselves up as the refs (as someone referred to them here before), then they get to change the goal whenever and however they wish. It’s part of why many women can feel crazy trying to meet all the criteria, e.g. look your best and dress how your husband instructs even if that is super-sexy for a datenight out while also not tempting other men to lust. (Then these men get the added “bonus’ of complaining that women don’t make any sense…)
As Jane Eyre phrased it above, it is a Catch-22. Queen Vashti’s dilemma isn’t unlike many women of today’s dilemma.
Love the article, so please take this as the pedantic correction that it probably is. I can’t speak to whether Rosa Parks intended to be seen as a hero or not, but her refusal was not a spur of the moment decision. She was a prominent member of the NAACP when pregnant teenager Claudette Colvin was also arrested for the same refusal to give up her seat. Knowing that the USA would likely have hangups about a teenager who was pregnant out of wedlock, the Alabama branch of the NAACP decided to make the issue much more public with a figure who resembled more of the “kindly older lady” trope — Rosa Parks.
Similarly to Esther and Vashti, the highly publicized boldness of one woman doesn’t need to take away from the lesser known bravery of another <3
Oh, that’s so interesting! I love that!
Another thought I had- perhaps many of the people who avow that Vashti was in the wrong do so because they believe so much in a punishment doctrine as well as idolizing power. If you are wrong, God punishes you and must be disciplined, etc. They are so petrified of losing their places of power-over others that Vashti’s displacement of position is the ultimate fear of theirs.
i.e. Making God into a Cosmic-level Xerxes.
What I find so upsetting in this teaching is that it “allows” leaders to disregard the boundaries of whoever is beneath their “authority.” If the person under the so called authority says “No” to something, they will still bully them until they get their way. The prime example is what is taking place at Daystar.
Thank you for this brilliant article Sheila! My hope is that others will see the undeniable truths here. It is horrible that pastors, Christian leaders and authors look to this example of Xerxes & Vashti (in what was considered a pagan, ungodly culture) as an example of how a husband & wife should interact…a king who had a harem of women at his “disposal” & was nearly convinced to commit genocide against the Jews where our own Savior’s bloodline would be…is ABSURD. If you haven’t already I’d love to see you tackle the story of Bathsheba next…wrongly portrayed as a seductress…
Good point. “The Bible describes this marriage in detail. Therefore, it’s a Biblical marriage! As we all know, everything a husband does in a Biblical marriage is blessed by God!!1!”
Great post! Another thing about the story of Esther- I just realized recently, as an adult, that the “marriage” between Esther and the king isn’t, um, a model of a healthy marriage. All the drama in the story comes from the fact that she can’t just go and talk to her husband. She’s actually not allowed to do that, and she shows courage by doing it anyway.
I heard this story so many times when I was a child, and nobody ever said, “wait a minute, what kind of marriage is this?????”
I was taught that honest communication is so important in marriage, but somehow never noticed the marriage in the story of Esther is very much NOT a good marriage.
Nope. It’s a story of sex trafficking and slavery! Christians shouldn’t romanticize it.
!!!!! Yes!
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a sermon on Vashti – is that a common thing? I’m struggling to think of one I’ve heard on Esther at all, beyond the “… for such a time as this” soundbite.
Great article anyway!
I don’t know that I’ve ever heard a sermon on Vashti, but I’ve been in book studies where she’s an example of a disrespectful wife, and the book Love & Respect holds her up that way too.
Interesting. I’ve seen the L&R example. Just curious how much of an outlier that is.
I think the other thing all this highlights is the broader issue of proof-texting and lack of biblical literacy. It’s hard to see how anyone who’s seriously read and thought about the story could think the author’s message was “Xerxes good, Vashti bad”!
L&R is not the outlier. This interpretation is pretty standard among comp teachers.
Tim- I heard of her mostly from women who relied heavily upon L&R for relationship advice. They often talked about Vasthi’s “rebelliousness” though I cannot speak to if that specifically is mentioned in L&R. These women’s views were often the culmination of multiple book study resources.
I’m pretty sure I heard a sermon once at that church that used her as an example, along with other bible characters who disobeyed, as having to be taught a “tough love” lesson.. I heard a lot about tough love at that church.
I also think they avoided Esther because it was a woman standing up for God’s people, and they surely wouldn’t want to advertise that! When it was mentioned in conversations, Mordecai was made out to be the hero. smh
The weird thing to me is that all these people who talk about Vashti being ‘rebellious’ or ‘disrespectful’ act as if she were being some kind of petulant drama queen who got into in a strop and decided to ignore her husband…the husband, who had absolute power of life and death over her, who could have her killed ‘just because’. Are we seriously meant to believe that Vashti refused to obey him simply because she was feeling a bit moody and couldn’t be bothered?
To refuse to obey someone like Xerxes, you must either believe so passionately in your cause that you are ready to die for it OR have a life that is so terrible you actually want to die anyway. Neither of these things really seems to come under the heading of being ‘disrespectful’ or ‘rebellious’.
Excellent point!
I think we need a new hashtag.
#istandwithvashti