Thank you to Zondervan and the book To Heal or Harm for sponsoring this post.My husband Keith and I talk a lot behind the scenes about the theology of complementarianism. It really bothers him that so much of the theology and arguments holding complementarianism up...
So much Christian teaching is dedicated to keeping men in power over women. I don't think that's of Christ. I know it bears bad fruit (we've measured it!). And I believe that it is pushing women out of the church and making marriages worse. And so I'm always ecstatic...
Pastors should not be writing books until they've dealt with their trauma. And even then, they shouldn't write the book based on how they dealt with their trauma. They should write it based on peer reviewed research, because one person's experience may be the...
The myth that men matter more than women in churches hurts people. Yesterday on the podcast I was talking with Beth Allison Barr and Miranda Zapor Cruz about the myth of the 93%, which goes something like this: The Myth of the 93% When dad comes to Christ first, 93%...
What happens when churches make up a ridiculous stat--and spread it? Ever heard the stat that when fathers come to Christ first, in 93% of families the wife and kids follow, but when wives come to Christ first, it's only 17%? It's been quoted by J.D. Greear when he...
What does it mean to keep Jesus at the center of faith? A couple of weeks ago I made an offhand comment in a podcast. I don’t even remember what podcast episode it was now, but in that episode, I said that Jesus is the Word of God; Jesus is the ultimate word, and we...
What if our deepest wounds drive us to fundamentalism? A few months ago a reader sent me a beautiful story of healing that exemplifies a common dynamic that I see: People who can’t face the wounds they have from childhood often gravitate to a very legalistic form of...
My son Christopher died 28 years ago today. That's such a strange phrase to say--"My son Christopher died." I remember practising saying it when he was in the ICU, preparing myself for what may come. The words didn't seem to go together, like they were fighting hard...
Women have pretty much always attended church more than men. Christianity started off as a religion of “women and slaves”, which was a common insult hurled at the fledgling new religion by the Romans. And it has continued to be a religion with more women than men....
Ever feel like faith and holiness are out of reach? You want to look like Jesus, but you know you need to pray more. Read your Bible more. Do more spiritual disciplines. Volunteer at church more. It's a long list of things you don't get to, and you know God must be...
Should we be nuanced about the effects of purity culture? On episode 247 of The Bare Marriage Podcast, we decided to open things up to all of you to ask us anything you’d been dying to ask about sex, marriage, purity culture and everything else related to healthy...
Does abuse show up more in complementarian circles? If you missed episode 246 of the Bare Marriage podcast, you missed out on a great one (and I highly recommend going back to listen when you have a chance!). I had the privilege of sitting down with Bethany Jantzi....
The Excellent Wife is a horribly depressing book to read. It was profoundly heavy and sad. When I started writing these onesheets, they didn’t really affect me that much. Most of the books I was going to be reading were ones I had read already, or were ones I had read...
ONE OF THE THINGS WE’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ON THIS BLOG IS MAKING SURE THE SELF-HELP AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IN THE EVANGELICAL WORLD IS HEALTHY. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...
With thanks to Zonderkidz for sponsoring this post. When my girls were small, one of their biggest pet peeves with church was that they always did the same Bible stories. Whenever they went to summer camp, it would inevitably be: Daniel and the Lions’ Den David and...