Ephesians 5 calls husbands to submit too. But whenever we talk about men submitting, so many men take offense to that! I wrote up this super quick overview of Ephesians 5 on social media last week, and it went so big that I thought I'd post it here, too, so people...
Is marriage primarily about teaching you to be selfless and to grow like Jesus through suffering? I hope you would all say a resounding, “no!” We know that God thinks of marriage for our benefit–our emotional benefit, not just our character-transforming benefit. He...
How exactly do we judge something by its fruit? One of the things we’re adamant about here at Bare Marriage is the concept of “evidence-based” and “healthy” advice–meaning that you can judge things by their fruit. If we’re going to figure out if a teaching is healthy...
"The husband has to be prepared to die for his wife." One of the most bizarre arguments defending men being in authority over women is the idea that one day, he may have to take a bullet for you. A husband has to be prepared to die for his wife, but God doesn’t ask...
How do you have a Christian marriage? And is a healthy Christian marriage different from a healthy marriage of two non-Christians? A woman wrote in asking:You guys do a wonderful job showing what biblical marriage is NOT but sometimes I’d love just a clear and concise...
Does complementarianism lead to good marriage outcomes? I'm going to answer that question in this post, but I want you to keep something in the back of your head as you're reading this. One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t...
When it comes to marriage, teamwork is associated with all the good stuff! Hierarchy, on the other hand, is associated with all the bad stuff. We explain today on the Bare Marriage podcast some of our biggest picture findings in The Marriage You Want, and how we...
I often get accused of just hating all evangelical marriage books. Surely there's SOMETHING you like, Sheila? Right? Or are you just trying to badmouth everything so that you can sell more books? The critiques often go like that. But here's the thing: It actually...
The idea that men want respect while women want love doesn't stand up to scientific scrutiny. We've studied it, as have others, and we can now definitively say that it's bunk. And I wanted a post that outlined some of it here on the blog--not just in our new book The...
When evangelical teachers say “men need respect”, what do they mean? On both Facebook and Threads, I posted this question:“Men have a unique, God-given need for respect.” When evangelical leaders teach this in regards to marriage, what, practically, are they saying...
Focus on the Family thinks life was better in 1964. You know, when many minorities in the U.S. had few civil rights. When women couldn't leave abusive husbands. When women couldn't get credit in their own name, or get a mortgage. That was better! When Rebecca and I...
Why did we all get sucked in to toxic teachings about sex and marriage? Because here's the thing: Unless we understand the why, then even if we leave those toxic teachings behind, it's very likely that we'll get sucked into other forms of toxic teachings about...
For years, we've been showing how the vast majority of Christian marriage books contain toxic teachings. It started with us reading Love & Respect, and seeing how terrible the sex advice was. When the powers that be ignored us when we tried to bring up concerns...
Vashti is an often-forgotten woman from the Old Testament. I love the Bible because it’s filled with stories–heroes and villains; kings and peasants; rulers and prophets. And often the Bible leaves us with stories without giving any commentary on them. We’re supposed...
She wanted to follow God and be a good complementarian wife. But after a few years it all fell apart! Before I jump into our story, a few definitions. Complementarianism is the belief that God created men to be in authority over women, in the church and the home (some...