Vashti is an often-forgotten woman from the Old Testament. I love the Bible because it’s filled with stories–heroes and villains; kings and peasants; rulers and prophets. And often the Bible leaves us with stories without giving any commentary on them. We’re supposed...
She wanted to follow God and be a good complementarian wife. But after a few years it all fell apart! Before I jump into our story, a few definitions. Complementarianism is the belief that God created men to be in authority over women, in the church and the home (some...
Let's celebrate being a woman who loves God! I've been following the Her Cherch account on Instagram for a while, and she has awesome cartoons that cut to the heart of so much of what we talk about here on Bare Marriage! The artist is Marcia Takasaki, and we've been...
What happens when a charismatic man with no qualifications starts a marriage ministry? You end up with a book that sounds like he wants the best for people--but gives completely unhelpful, and often very harmful, advice. Today Keith and I are taking a deep dive into...
One of the things we’re passionate about on this blog is making sure the self-help and relationship advice in the evangelical world is healthy. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...
We've figured out our biggest problem. Recently I was talking with a young couple who got married after having done everything "right." They thought marriage would be easy; instead, sex was the hardest part of their lives. She felt objectified; he felt rejected; and...
There's been a horrible meme circulating about how God used David--so we should rejoice when God uses evil men. I've seen it myself; it's been shared and debated in our Patreon group; and so many of you have sent it to me. While it does have immediate American...
Is Divorce and Remarriage Permitted in Cases of Abuse? So many people ask for a robust Biblical investigation into whether divorce is allowed in cases of abuse, and considering how so much of the evangelical church treats divorce as an almost unforgivable sin, it’s a...
We don't have to accept pastors demonizing little girls. Recently, I was sent a clip by someone who attends Lake Pointe church and was concerned–I don’t go looking for these. Josh Howerton, you may remember, is the same megachurch pastor who told women to “stand where...
Recently in our Patreon group, a member posted a letter that she’s sending out to the girls (now young women) in a youth group she used to lead, apologizing for teaching toxic things. I thought it was so wonderful I asked if I could run it here. I just want to say:...
What if our deepest wounds drive us to fundamentalism? A few months ago a reader sent me a beautiful story of healing that exemplifies a common dynamic that I see: People who can’t face the wounds they have from childhood often gravitate to a very legalistic form of...
Should we be nuanced about the effects of purity culture? On episode 247 of The Bare Marriage Podcast, we decided to open things up to all of you to ask us anything you’d been dying to ask about sex, marriage, purity culture and everything else related to healthy...
Does abuse show up more in complementarian circles? If you missed episode 246 of the Bare Marriage podcast, you missed out on a great one (and I highly recommend going back to listen when you have a chance!). I had the privilege of sitting down with Bethany Jantzi....
The Excellent Wife is a horribly depressing book to read. It was profoundly heavy and sad. When I started writing these onesheets, they didn’t really affect me that much. Most of the books I was going to be reading were ones I had read already, or were ones I had read...
ONE OF THE THINGS WE’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT ON THIS BLOG IS MAKING SURE THE SELF-HELP AND RELATIONSHIP ADVICE IN THE EVANGELICAL WORLD IS HEALTHY. Over the last few years, our team has surveyed over 32,000 people, measuring how certain teachings common in the evangelical...